This one is for all the over-thinkers. For all those who self-doubt, who may be indecisive or worry too much.
“Are you sure?” – it’s a question that has been asked of me a lot quite recently. I became more hyper aware of it during the Eastern MVA SHOUT and realized I get asked this question on the daily; at work, from friends and even from myself in my personal discernment in regards to life.
Variations of the question are asked in ways such as “is that your final answer,” “are you confident with that,” “is this the best decision,” “have you thought everything through,” “did you double-check,” and the list can go on and on.
And you know what, sometimes yes I am sure and sometimes no I am not. But if it’s one thing I’ve learned is that when you know something, be confident. Just because somebody questions you doesn’t mean you have to second-guess yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being confident in yourself. In fact we need more people to be assertive and to stand up for what they believe in and for what they know is right.
Many of times when I’ve been asked, are you sure, wasn’t because I was wrong. In fact my mentors and leaders of authority were checking to see if I truly knew what I was doing. Yet whether it was some form of classical conditioning or simply self-doubt, whenever I heard the question I immediately looked for the faults in my statements, actions or answers. I lacked belief in myself.
I do not claim to have the answers to everything. In fact quite opposite. What I do know is that God is real. I know that He sent His only begotten Son to die for my sins. I know that I am a child of God. Above all, I know that I am loved by God. Yes, I am sure.
When I think about what makes me so hesitant and why it is easy for me to second-guess myself, it usually comes back to pride. Generally speaking, I am not one to think of myself as prideful (then again who does?). Rather my pride manifests itself in the way that I desire to be liked by everyone. It’s in the way that I fear to be wrong or let people down. The need for human approval and acknowledgment; to fit in with the crowd. The problem with this is that sometimes what is right goes against the crowd. I don’t know the original author, but there is a quote that says,
Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.
I first encountered that saying in elementary school on one of those inspirational posters. It held through and brought more meaning in high school. Without hesitation I was ride or die with that motto of standing up for what is right and what you believe in. And yet somewhere along the way, when I found myself standing alone, I got shaky. Pride got a hold of me and I soon stopped standing up as much. My self-doubt threatened that if I were to stand up for something, I better be 110% right, or else why are you standing like an idiot. It started to affect things like raising my hand and participating in class, when I knew the answer. Even moments when I knew or saw something wrong, I started to paused to see if, why, how and in what ways it directly affects me and if it doesn’t then why should I get involved.
Well what about the first apostles? Imagine if they saw the way people were living, not in the ways according to God’s will, and thought “it doesn’t directly affect me, why should I care?” Or what if being embarrassed and going against the way of the world was just too much for them? Even though they were sure Jesus was the Son of God, nothing they knew or experienced would have mattered without the grace of humility. By being humble the apostles were able to have conviction, zeal and fervor in spreading God’s Word. Just like the original apostles, we need to be humble so we too may be able to confidently spread the Word of God.
We need to be able to stand up for what we believe in, because sitting down and letting the truth slip away means we actively participate in making the lies the reality. One way I am personally trying to get over my pride is by praying the litany of humility. There is always something new we can learn or relate to when we pray a litany. For me, with the litany of humility, the section that goes “from the fear of…”, personally stirs me because I relate to those fears. I wish that those fears within me didn’t exist, but they do, and until the day comes where they no longer affect me, I shall faithfully pray this litany and draw strength from Christ.
Let us pray,
Litany of Humility
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
This I most sincerely pray, Amen.
In Christ,
Meagan Webb
