Looking back at my 2018, I can honestly say it’s been a great year, one that I haven’t had in a while. If you’ve read my previous blogs or heard me share in a household then you know the past couple of years were challenging to say the least. So what changed this year? Well first, I won’t say that this year didn’t come with its fair share of challenges and struggles. But perhaps what was different was my attitude and ultimately my trust in God. Continue reading New Year…Simply Me
“If you haven’t surrendered it to God, then you’ve surrendered it to someone else.”
I recently attended the GTA Area Core SHouT this past weekend and there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the plethora of events that happened within those 5 days. So I’ll just use one: enlightened.
You know when you’re at a sleepover and everyone’s already passed out cold on the beds and floors. The morning after is hard to get through. You’re tired and exhausted. You have some sort of consciousness- awake but not really. It’s not until someone draws the blinds or curtains to expose the harsh sunlight rays that you feel the urgency to get up. It’s already half past noon and you’ve just wasted half the day away.
That’s how my recent experience with Christ was at SHouT. He turned on the lights. The light allowed me to see everything that was in that room, rather…my life. Enlightened- one’s ability to be spiritually aware. The Lord allowed me to see His plans for me that much clearer.
But see, when you turn on the lights EVERYTHING gets exposed, not just the good stuff. You don’t have a choice. But God is a god of light and peace- The truth, His truth is exposed in all its glory.
I’m facing the skeletons in my closet right now, some I thought I buried a long time ago but really just put a drape over. God’s light drew me to these areas, the crevices and corners, the edges and cracks. The small things count, because to God everything matters. As much as it hurts me to pull out long overdue band aids, I know that with His love I’ll finally be able to heal properly.
“Ate, it’s like when you make a paper boat and then you put it in the water. That’s how you’ll know if your boat is good or not. It might start to sink because of a hole, but all you have to do is just take it out and then patch up whatever holes exist.”
It had to happen this way for me. This was God’s way of telling me to patch up those holes so that my boat could float. How else can I be a better person or leader if I don’t allow God to shine His light on every single area of my life, even the dark sides- the ones I don’t want to look at. In this way, I can confidently go out and allow the God in me to shine.
Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.- Psalm 43:3
I was on the Facebook page of Fr. James Martin SJ and I saw him promoting his new book by giving an excerpt on being distracted in prayer. Automatically I smirked and said to myself, “yeah thats me.” Often enough during my prayer time I am easily distracted by my own thoughts. I’m always thinking about other things. Or when I’m in prayer and something good pops up, I write it down right way so I don’t forget.
At one silent retreat I attended, my spiritual director asked me how was my prayer time and I said, “I don’t know, its seems a little dull, I get distracted easily, but most of all I’m just there sitting in prayer getting nowhere, I can’t hear him.” He laughed and replied, “Well what’s wrong with that? You’re there praying to him.” I learned from my director when I get distracted, I should repeat my prayer over and over again until I begin to remove my distractions. Simply these distractions go away.
Remember prayer is a gift from God. Often enough we will learn to know what to pay attention to and what not too. Not all prayers will have desirable results. When prayer seems dull or when we feel he isn’t present, maybe he’s asking us to pray in a different way or turn the page maybe to another scripture. This is because maybe God wants to meet you somewhere else. God is always there, He’s everywhere and be open. Together let’s learn to take away these distractions and spend more time in prayer!
@itsmetimmm
It may come in any point of your time where you might feel like you’ve got a heavy cross. What does that mean? It could mean that you’ve taken on a lot of responsibilities, you also might have heard the term “spreading yourself too thin” or “burdened.” Well in any of these cases I will share to you some points of how we can continue walking with our cross just Jesus did himself. The biggest thing I want to share with you is do not be afraid to fall. There’s been quite a few changes going with my service the last few months and let me tell you this change is starting to hit me good. Taking on a new responsibility and continuing the ones I have on top of being a part time student with a career does sound like a handful but for now manageable. I have been slowly learning the secrets from my mentor about how to use my time effectively because he is telling me that our time in this service is short.
Here are some tips I found effective to keep up with my service and life. First I’ve come to learn that a heavy cross probably means His will for you is being done (that’s right we constantly pray for that.) He’s working through you.
And there you go, this is my daily grind. Though my cross may be heavy I know that whatever I bare will be in His hands and His victory.
@itsmetimmm