Tag: cross

3/52: Balance

There is so much to be thankful for, I’m sure I don’t have to present the laundry list of blessings we all receive on a daily basis!  What I will comment on is how we often we tend to complain and stress over them.  I am guilty of this =( 

Maybe we’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe we’re doubting our capabilities.  Maybe things are piling up and we’re beginning to get anxious about all that is expected of us.  We spend so much time worrying about the tasks as opposed to doing them that we get lost in the mix.  How can we even begin to serve our Lord, if already at the start we’re hindered?

I’ve come to be reminded that BALANCE is key.  If we are at an imbalance in our lives, how do we plan on tackling all of our tasks and responsibilities?  How can we properly share our Lord’s message? How can we remain firm and steadfast to win the race?

More important than reevaluating our priorities is PRAYER!  Prayer is what offsets all those tasks we have to take care of.  And if we’ve got a lot of things to do then that also means we’ve got a lot of praying to do!  It is through prayer that we receive the graces to handle such things, that allows us to centre ourselves in Christ, and gives us the freedom to rest in the Lord after a long day’s work.  Prayer, both, grounds us in our faith but it also motivates us into action!

Mother Teresa once said,

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

Let us balance our lives with prayer and realize how much of a blessing each day is.  Let us be good stewards of our time, talent and treasure and make the most of each day for our Lord.  Let us not bog ourselves down with worry or anxiety or complaint and realize our Lord walks with us daily, therefore is with us every step of the way.  Let us begin…

Home.

With the amount of times that I’ve had to travel within an eighteen month time frame, most people would assume that I no longer suffer from homesickness. The past three trips (2009, 2012, 2013a) have been by myself; the shortest trip lasting 8 weeks and the longest lasting 6 months. Most people base their judgement on my social media posts and are probably thinking, “Dang, she is living the life.”

Well, reality check: I still suffer from homesickness. I still feel somewhat lost even though I’ve revisited Place A, B and C more than a handful of times. I still feel out of place in a room full of old friends and the nausea that accompanies displacement is very much real.

All those things still exist. Even now. Even when my family is here with me. We all haven’t been together in a very, very long time. Dad’s had to work out of town for the past 2 years and my brother’s had to live away at Waterloo ever since he started his Undergrad. And me, well…..I’ve been traveling to PH.

A few days into our family trip here, I was still feeling so bothered. My temper kept getting the best of me. I grew impatient and volatile. I couldn’t understand it. Shouldn’t my family have cushioned the hypothetical “emotional blow” that always hit me during my trips? Shouldn’t the weird jumble of emotions have stopped because I was with my loved ones? The anger and frustration drained me so much that one night, I decided to just leave the group. The innermost depths of me was craving for something. I didn’t know what that something was, but what I did know was that going to God wouldn’t leave me any more desolate than I already was. So I looked for a church.

I ended up at Sto. Rosario. I got through confession. I kneeled at the Adoration Chapel. I sat through Mass and received Holy Eucharist. And you know what? For the first time I felt good. Not just ice-cream-on-a-hot-sunny-day good, but ‘passing my final exam with flying colours and making the honour roll’ kinda good. I was a fish out of water that suddenly found my way back to the water. I could breathe again.

As I contemplated at the Adoration Chapel I was reminded of a promise I made to Him during the SFC precon praisefest. It just so happened to my birthday too. I told God that I was willing to finally give Him the one part of me that I hadn’t let go of yet- a very specific piece of my heart that was put on reserve. I didn’t have the strength to fight that fourteen year battle any more. It took me that long to surrender. That day He said to me, “Exodus 14:14, my beloved. Do not forget. I will fight for you, you need only to be still.

In the presence of the Eucharist and in front of the altar, I felt God whisper me to me, “Therese, my dearest Therese. You silly stubborn girl. Remember what you offered at the foot of my cross weeks ago? Remember that you promised me you’d finally give that last piece to me? Home is where the heart is and yours just so happens to be with me. It’s safe. It’s in my hands now. I’m happy that you finally found your back. My child, right now at this very moment …you are home. I’ve been waiting.”

All the puzzle pieces fit.
It all made sense.
I felt this sudden rush of peace, of final certainty.

Everything in this world is temporary. Even my family. But God, God is infinite. God is timeless, boundless and endless. I am made to stand in His presence, to bask in the love that is always present in His house.

 

Father, I’m coming home.
Amen. 

The light that leads

“If you haven’t surrendered it to God, then you’ve surrendered it to someone else.”

I recently attended the GTA Area Core SHouT this past weekend and there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the plethora of events that happened within those 5 days. So I’ll just use one: enlightened.

You know when you’re at a sleepover and everyone’s already passed out cold on the beds and floors. The morning after is hard to get through. You’re tired and exhausted. You have some sort of consciousness- awake but not really. It’s not until someone draws the blinds or curtains to expose the harsh sunlight rays that you feel the urgency to get up. It’s already half past noon and you’ve just wasted half the day away.

That’s how my recent experience with Christ was at SHouT. He turned on the lights. The light allowed me to see everything that was in that room, rather…my life. Enlightened- one’s ability to be spiritually aware. The Lord allowed me to see His plans for me that much clearer.

But see, when you turn on the lights EVERYTHING gets exposed, not just the good stuff. You don’t have a choice. But God is a god of light and peace- The truth, His truth is exposed in all its glory.

I’m facing the skeletons in my closet right now, some I thought I buried a long time ago but really just put a drape over. God’s light drew me to these areas, the crevices and corners, the edges and cracks. The small things count, because to God everything matters. As much as it hurts me to pull out long overdue band aids, I know that with His love I’ll finally be able to heal properly.

“Ate, it’s like when you make a paper boat and then you put it in the water. That’s how you’ll know if your boat is good or not. It might start to sink because of a hole, but all you have to do is just take it out and then patch up whatever holes exist.”

It had to happen this way for me. This was God’s way of telling me to patch up those holes so that my boat could float. How else can I be a better person or leader if I don’t allow God to shine His light on every single area of my life, even the dark sides- the ones I don’t want to look at. In this way, I can confidently go out and allow the God in me to shine.

Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.- Psalm 43:3

To Die Is Gain

Self-mortification. Every time I’ve heard of this term in the past I would always think of people that physically hurt themselves and that’s it. I’ve learned that that’s just one form of self-mortification.

When temptation comes along, it starts as a simple thought—a suggestion. When we entertain that thought or suggestion, we start to use our imagination to delve deeper into it. Suddenly, we are committing sin and acting upon entertained thoughts. How important it is to cast the first slightest thought of temptation! If we don’t nip it when it starts, we put ourselves on a very dangerous path to spiritual death.

In the heat of temptation it is very hard to follow our intellect that tells us that what we are about to do is a sin and that it’s wrong. Our carnal cravings can easily get the best of us. Redemptive self-mortification is when we prefer to be crucified rather than sin. In the pinnacle of temptation, we truly suffer. We experience an ultimatum: commit sin or die to self. That dying to self entails great suffering. However, we must remember that the Lord always provides a way out of sin. We only need to rely on His grace. If we end up choosing to deny ourselves and to take up our cross, then we truly follow Jesus.

Temptations will never stop on this journey to holiness. This is why we need so much grace. If it were not for the grace of God, we are truly dead. Spiritually dead. God’s grace helps us to know His will and gives us the strength to follow Him and carry our cross.

When we die to self, we lose the fleeting pleasures of the world and the flesh, but what we gain is eternal life in Christ.

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” —Philippians 1:21

Heavy Cross? Don’t fret

It may come in any point of your time where you might feel like you’ve got a heavy cross.  What does that mean?  It could mean that you’ve taken on a lot of responsibilities, you also might have heard the term “spreading yourself too thin” or “burdened.”  Well in any of these cases I will share to you some points of how we can continue walking with our cross just Jesus did himself.  The biggest thing I want to share with you is do not be afraid to fall.  There’s been quite a few changes going with my service the last few months and let me tell you this change is starting to hit me good.  Taking on a new responsibility and continuing the ones I have on top of being a part time student with a career does sound like a handful but for now manageable.  I have been slowly learning the secrets from my mentor about how to use my time effectively because he is telling me that our time in this service is short.

Here are some tips I found effective to keep up with my service and life.  First I’ve come to learn that a heavy cross probably means His will for you is being done (that’s right we constantly pray for that.) He’s working through you.

  1. Understand the trial you are facing, learn to love what you’re in and be the BEST
  2. Pray. And don’t stop find your perfect time, yes I said perfect… in the morning after I wake up works for me. Also read the daily Gospel, see what He is trying to tell you each day.
  3. Pray to the saints.  In whatever situation you feel stressed in there is a patron saint for your specific needs.  Use them, they help because they want you to also join them in Heaven one day.
  4. Last, go to confession (its one of our national directions.)  Going to regular confession (monthly/weekly) will help you feel God’s love and purify all your intentions
  5. Ask for help.  From your counterpart, MCG, potential leaders

And there you go, this is my daily grind.  Though my cross may be heavy I know that whatever I bare will be in His hands and His victory.

@itsmetimmm