January 31, 2014
Luke 5:4
9:11 am Montreal Time
Montreal – Trudeau Airport
Three weeks ago, I received the call.
Now, I am at Montreal-Trudeau Airport leaving for The Philippines.
As I stood infront of the American customs, I went around to give my hugs and kisses to my aunt,
my childhood best-friend,
my old counterpart,
my boyfriend,
my sister,
and
my mom.
I held each of them with such love and great peace in my heart.
As I walked towards customs with my huge bag-pack, my travel pillow, and my duffle…
I ran back to hug Jesse, continued walking and
looked back at my mom and Alyssa, continued walking again and
looked back to give my final goodbyes.
I will miss them.
I was surprised at the fact that I did not shed a tear. It might have been because I was filled with joy that I did not have time to cry, or my great trust in The Lord which allowed me to feel comfort rather than sadness.
As I continued walking to customs, I smiled and heard The Lord whisper to me
“My Child, Go Out Into The Deep!”
And so I did.
I knew that, this is not the first time The Lord will take care of me. At that moment at the airport, I was able to truly experience a complete sense of comfort, security, and confidence in The Lord. I realized that if it is The Lord who has called me, it will also be The Lord who will take care of me and my loved ones. Why worry about something that The Lord has already been taking care of during the past 25 years.
This will be my first time taking the plane alone without my family or Jesse. This will also be my first time experiencing God’s infinite love away from them.
This will be the first time I will be
The farthest from the ones I love. This will also be my first time experiencing how physical distance will allow me to be most intimate with The Lord and most closest with my loved ones.
This will be the first time I will be away for this long.
This will also be my first time experiencing God’s perfect time instead of mine.
I am not leaving behind, but instead
carrying with me…
My mission partner
My mission family
The mission The Lord has prepared for me
He has called me to go out into the deep.
And so it begins…
Come Holy Spirit, Come Holy Spirit, Com Holy Spirit
Empty me fully, So I may be used by You, O Lord Completely.
In my recent skype with my parents, I learned that the temperature in Philippines particularly in Mindanao reached 20°C. This is an unusual cold there, since Philippines is a tropical country. They were wearing jackets the whole time in the house and they haven’t used the air conditioning system for almost a month already. Everyone in the house used the bathroom downstairs coz that’s the only one with the hot water setting.
They asked me what the temperature here is in Vancouver, I told them it has been good. We haven’t had gone negative digit for 2 weeks already and that the average temperature us 5°C. I told them that the temperature they have is most probably for summer season here.
I wanted to tell them that people here would be wearing shorts with that temperature. They would be outside enjoying the warmth and going camping. This is not the case in Philippines, they just stay in the house. They do not want to do any outdoor activity. These things are subjective to what we feel – same temperature 20°C cold for Philippines but warm for Canada.
What about the ways and teachings of the Lord. Even if everyone is doing it if it is wrong, it will always be wrong. Even if no one is doing it if it is right it will always be right at all times in all circumstances.
“Lord you are Truth. You are source of wisdom and knowledge. Teach me to live out your teaching at all times whether with other people or by myself. When there are times that I am doubtful and shaken, may I look to you for stability. You are true at all times!
Last week I was privileged to watch the film Mary of Nazareth (I highly recommend to watch if there is a screening) and what stood out to me the most during the film was her humility in each of her encounters.
In my mind it was as if the entire joyful mysteries was turned into a movie. Anyways I’ll skip to what I want to say. The scene was of Mary and extended family going to see Jesus at Simeon’s house. Someone said to Jesus his mother was here and he responded “…For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” The man said to Mary out of embarrassment “see, he doesn’t even acknowledge you as his mother, let’s go” but Mary insisted to stay with her reply,
“I am not here to be with my son, I am here to be with my Lord.”
There she was recognizing that Jesus was more than someone she carried in her womb but as the Lord Almighty himself! Now how does this apply to me? I believe it is reminding me to recognize that I am here to be with the Lord. I am not here because I want to be or have to be, I am choosing to be where I am with the Lord. And when we choose Him, we choose the things He has taught us. There is no other, only what the Lord has given to us. So here I am Lord.
”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” – Pope Pius XII
Love is a fermented wine, in which only time can sweeten.
Why is it that in the most endearing love stories, we are given images of elderly couples madly in love with one another? We see it in many notable movies and television shows. The best example I could come up with is probably the Notebook, where an elderly Noah or “Duke”, chooses to be loyal to the love of his life, Allie, even when her sickness causes her to forget the very man she loved. The message of that movie was loud and clear. Love is patience. Love perseveres. Love is prevailing. We can conclude that, simply, with time, love becomes more genuine. It becomes more true. More sincere. It becomes more real.
In this community, we are introduced to a very important truth: real love waits. Now as much as this conviction has been associated with chastity, it is also very important to realize the deeper (yet simpler) meaning of this conviction. Waiting does not mean we only seek fulfillment after the fact. It means that we remain hopeful throughout. It means that in our waiting, we are sanctified. Holiness is not simply a means to an end, but a constant reacquainting with the Lord on our journey. There is beauty in the wait. It is the reason why flowers take time to bloom. It is the reason why the sun rises gradually and majestically every morning. It is why the clouds in the sky above soar past us calmly and almost unknowingly. Similarly for us, there is beauty in the wait, and it comes in the form of virtue.
I firmly believe that throughout my life, I have been blessed with a rather unique (and by all means undeserved) grace. That is, the grace of “waiting”. As a child I remember always having to wait for my turn, being the youngest of my siblings and cousins. It never really bothered me, but in retrospect, I think it led to my ability to patiently put other’s needs before mine. Mind you, I’m not perfect, but I definitely think God blessed me with patience – of myself, of others and of God’s will. I know I owe a lot of patience to my family. Every day they teach me to be patient. Specifically, in having a sister with down syndrome, it’s particularly rewarding when I know that in loving her unconditionally God teaches me subtle lessons of virtue.
It does not surprise me that in leading a life dedicated to growing in patience and virtue, I have fallen in love with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, that which is most virtuous and extraordinarily patient. Thankfully she has given to us a very cherished gift: The Most Holy Rosary. It is in the rosary we learn to imitate her life – specifically, her love for Jesus.
The rosary is such a beautiful prayer. As you probably know, praying it really takes time and effort. During those long days of work or school it really gets difficult because of its constant repetition. You can even go as far to say that praying it regularly often gets monotonous.
St. Josemaria Escriva passionately wrote,
“Blessed be that monotony of Hail Marys which purifies the monotony of your sins!”
I believe that the Rosary is a beautiful example of how we must approach every circumstance of our living. A brother once told me that, “the beads of the Rosary is the rhythm of life.” They don’t merely represent the rhythm of life. They ARE the rhythm of life. Every breath has its meaning, just as every bead has its significance. Often times life can become monotonous. But what I learned in praying the Rosary was that, somewhere hidden in the repetition and in the waiting, there is a beauty that is unveiled in its mystery. The Mysteries of the Holy Rosary are the beautiful moments of God’s glory that we yearn for as time passes. Those 10 Hail Mary’s are enlivened and monotony is diminished when we encounter Jesus Christ in the Mysteries. Similar to that, we must learn to exact heavenly bliss from monotony in our very lives, only then will we truly and intimately know the secret to Mother Mary’s love for her son.
With every breath I am reminded of the sweetness of waiting, not because I inch towards a destination, but because in breathing I am reminded of a God who has given me life. I am reminded of a God who loves me in ways I don’t deserve. A God whom I yearn to love more and more each day, with every Hail Mary, and every passing bead. A God who, with every answered and unanswered prayer, affirms me that though I have failed countless times in waiting for Him, He has revealed to me in eternity that real love waits.
“Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun.” – Eclessiastes 11:7
I was able to meet up with Gyan Delos Reyes (HSB Program Head) and take the bus to go to the University of Manitoba just to chill and hang out with some of the CFC-Youth. As I observed what was happening on the bus, I could not help but think and reflect what the people were doing. On the bus, there were some people who were able to sit if there was an empty seat available. Some were standing almost the whole bus ride to U of M, which could take up to an hour. Some had to sit beside someone who could potentially fill up 2 seats due to their size or had to many things to carry. Some offered their seat for someone else who needed the seat more. There was 2 people I noticed who were standing the whole time but seemed like they didn’t care because they saw someone they knew on the bus and enjoyed the conversation they were having. And some were asleep the whole time because they were just so tired.
Now the driver, who has a specific route for everyone on the bus, has a duty and responsibility to pick up whoever is waiting at the bus stop. He not only opens the door for you to get on but also allows you to get off the bus at a stop you choose, even though it might be the wrong stop.
Jesus is our driver and should be our driver. He has a path just for us to follow. He knows the destination we need reach and welcomes us with open doors but also gives us the option to do what we will to do. He also gives us characteristics that will help us become the people we are suppose to be. Crazy thing is, each day is a different day and calls us to sit, stand offer our seat and / or sit beside someone who brings us discomfort. When we reach our destination, do we put everything behind and say thank you to the driver before we get off?
Heavenly Father, through your grace, we have the opportunity to reach our destination with joy and love. May we continue seeking Your will in prayer and listen attentively to what you are calling us to do. I praise and glorify You for the blessings and discomfort that bring us closer to you each and every day. In Jesus Name. Amen.
“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty of which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.” – Blessed Pope John Paul II
As missionaries our journey towards the Lord does not stop. If anything the journey continues even further. We are called to be Holy. We are called to seek for the Lord in all our dreams of happiness. The Lord not only waits for us, but we are called to remain patient and wait for His perfect timing. We are called to see the beauty of Christ in everything. The Lord urges us to remember that it is only Him who can fill our emptiness because it is He who is the fullness of life. Do not be afraid to open your heart to the Lord.
As much uncertainty I’ve felt within the past two years of being an MV I’ve realized that I can’t journey alone. I need my brothers and sisters in the CFC-Youth community, my family, my friends and most importantly I need Christ because I am weak and I am nothing without Him. Blessed John Paul II writes beautifully of how it is the Lord we need. If we have God in our lives, it is He who fills every corner, strengthens every weakness, carries every cross, and fills the uncertainty of our journey with His plans.
A bad habit I have is over thinking. Its been rough personally, but you can’t tell. Then I heard this.
“Don’t think. Just pray.”
Lord, May I not harden my heart, but allow it to be engulfed by the waves of Your unending desire to have a relationship with me. There is no better place for me then in Your arms. Allow me to focus on what it is You want. The rest will come in Your time.
