Yours and Mine

Sometimes, Jesus gently raps on the door, begging to enter a heart, and sometimes, He simply knocks the door down, shows His wounds, points to the trembling inhabitant and says, “Mine.”" - fr. Emmanuel, O. Praem.
“Sometimes, Jesus gently raps on the door, begging to enter a heart, and sometimes, He simply knocks the door down, shows His wounds, points to the trembling inhabitant and says, “Mine.”” – fr. Emmanuel, O. Praem.

Mi Jesu.
His Holy presence – overwhelming and still.
Anything He says or do, I do and I say.
Unworthy as I am,
He need only one word, “come.”
I am but a mere sheep,
Pressed closely against the heart of One who Is
…Love.

In his arms,
I am home.

Yes, I am but a man
Ready and willing..
But still a man.
And I stand before the edge of the boat,
And I wait before the edge of the boat,
Yet, I hear nothing.
Is what I’m hearing,
What He is saying?

He turns to me
And with one slight glance, I hear his voice.
Before His gaze, all that I am, is stripped away.

I know His voice
His voice.. not from his mouth.
The voice that echoes heaven.

The voice that speaks without ever making a sound.
The voice of eternal bliss and ecstasy.
The voice of God the Father.

He says but three words…
And with three words, he allowed a poor soul like me
to experience divinity.

“I am Yours”

Beloved, Be Loved!

I am loved – absolutely, extravagantly, simplistically, and aboundingly loved.

My recent excursion to the Philippines affirmed me many times over of just how important it is to recognize this love.

The community in which we belong is certainly a very selfless community.  We give until we can no longer, and then some.  We give of ourselves because we love the Lord so much and there is, further more, nothing more we can do than to respond to it through charitable works and tireless service. We blossom, as such, in to genuine servants of God – ready to do his will, and generously extending far beyond our own reaches only because He commands it.

Though in order for us to give love, we must know wholeheartedly that we have received it. In order for us to wholeheartedly receive love, we must also wholeheartedly give it. Yes, love is beautiful because it is self-giving.  It is an intimate exchange between lover, and beloved.

Beloved.. Being loved.  Could it be this simple?  I vividly recall my infancy: an adolescent version of me affixed in my mother’s arms.  There was nothing more that I cherished than being carried by those who loved me; my mom, my dad, and my nanay (or grandmother) are the first people that come to mind.  What I cherish so deeply about those memories is the simplicity of being loved.  When I was in my mother’s arms there was no need to ponder why I was there.  There were no questions of, “How must I respond to this love she was giving me?”.  There was no “discernment” on what this love is leading me to do.  There were no questions of “If I am so loved, what can and should I do to make sure I receive more of it?”.

In fact, there were no thoughts involved whatsoever.  Simply a circumstance.  In my mother’s arms, in my father’s arms, in my nanay’s arms, I was loved, and that was enough.  It was an inseparable Truth and divine existence – me, in the state of being loved.  This, times infinity, is the same love our Lord has for His beloved.  Though often we choose to ponder it, dissect it, dismiss it, surrender to it.  The first response that we must always have when addressing it is not a response at all.  We need simply to be in it.  Be loved.  Be in Love.  Be Love.  Be affixed in our Lord’s arms just as we were when we were children.  The rest will come naturally and supernaturally.  We must first be His beloved.

Quite often, it’s easy to fall prey to judgment of others.  I know for me it may be the hardest vice to overcome.  Truthfully, whenever I go to the Philippines, my humility is often tested.  I’m not sure if it’s the uncomfortable looks they give foreigners (like myself), or the different reverence they have for the Holy Mass, or simply for the lack of understanding they have for the faith (being dramatically different than where I’m from).  In times like these, Jesus’ compassion becomes a sincere prayer of mine.  During this particular excursion, I go back to the simple message that I am loved, and I am His beloved.

He also affirms me that in being loved, and in being His beloved, I, also, must understand this Truth:  Love of God is constant and present.  It is unchanging from person to person.  Personally, I have built a significantly intimate relationship with the Lord and ironically, without my knowing, I have taken pride in it.  We often fall prey to being proud of this fondness and because of it, we are lead to forget that our Lord God is equal for all.  Those who have a lacking relationship with God are the ones He comes to all the more because they do not reciprocate the transcendent love of Christ.  The distance between our hearts and His are not any closer than with the ones who are broken.  They are both intimately one, just as ours, as His beloved, become intimately one.  He is a constant.  He loves us inconceivably and without measure.  We, as his universal church, are His beloved – unchangingly and presently loved.

Love of God is constant and present.  Love of God is like the sun.  It is eternally present.  We can see the sun.  We can feel the warmth of its sunlight and its presence is undeniable.  Some people often say, that we have a choice to acknowledge God.  Yet for Christians like us, we know that the only choice we have is to close our eyes, yet the sun does not cease to exist.  The Love of God continues to touch us.  No matter how unwelcoming the weather, the sun is always constant, and present.  For those who welcome the sun, it’s easy to recognize this truth, our only response is to bask in it, immerse in it, be carried by it, be touched by it.  For those who welcome the Lord, we need only to bask in him, immerse in him, be carried by him, and be touched by him.  God is constant.  God is present.  God is love.

.. And I am His beloved.

 

 

Not Mine, But Thine

“God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.  I have my mission.” – Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman.

My simple reflection is this:

Now, more than ever before, my heart is breaking a mere thousand times daily because I know He is preparing me for something great.  Something undeniable.  Something worthy.  Something glorious.  

So that in my shattered self only the Lord remains, and everything that is not shall return to dust.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” – John 3:30

The Rhythm of Life

”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” - Pope Pius XII
”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” – Pope Pius XII

Love is a fermented wine, in which only time can sweeten.

Why is it that in the most endearing love stories, we are given images of elderly couples madly in love with one another?  We see it in many notable movies and television shows.  The best example I could come up with is probably the Notebook, where an elderly Noah or “Duke”, chooses to be loyal to the love of his life, Allie, even when her sickness causes her to forget the very man she loved.  The message of that movie was loud and clear. Love is patience.  Love perseveres.  Love is prevailing.  We can conclude that, simply, with time, love becomes more genuine.  It becomes more true.  More sincere.  It becomes more real.

In this community, we are introduced to a very important truth:  real love waits.  Now as much as this conviction has been associated with chastity, it is also very important to realize the deeper (yet simpler) meaning of this conviction. Waiting does not mean we only seek fulfillment after the fact.  It means that we remain hopeful throughout.  It means that in our waiting, we are sanctified.  Holiness is not simply a means to an end, but a constant reacquainting with the Lord on our journey.  There is beauty in the wait.  It is the reason why flowers take time to bloom.  It is the reason why the sun rises gradually and majestically every morning.  It is why the clouds in the sky above soar past us calmly and almost unknowingly.  Similarly for us, there is beauty in the wait, and it comes in the form of virtue.

I firmly believe that throughout my life, I have been blessed with a rather unique (and by all means undeserved) grace.  That is, the grace of “waiting”.  As a child I remember always having to wait for my turn, being the youngest of my siblings and cousins.  It never really bothered me, but in retrospect, I think it led to my ability to patiently put other’s needs before mine.  Mind you, I’m not perfect, but I definitely think God blessed me with patience – of myself, of others and of God’s will.  I know I owe a lot of patience to my family.  Every day they teach me to be patient.  Specifically, in having a sister with down syndrome, it’s particularly rewarding when I know that in loving her unconditionally God teaches me subtle lessons of virtue.

It does not surprise me that in leading a life dedicated to growing in patience and virtue, I have fallen in love with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, that which is most virtuous and extraordinarily patient.  Thankfully she has given to us a very cherished gift: The Most Holy Rosary.  It is in the rosary we learn to imitate her life – specifically, her love for Jesus.

The rosary is such a beautiful prayer.  As you probably know, praying it really takes time and effort.  During those long days of work or school it really gets difficult because of its constant repetition.  You can even go as far to say that praying it regularly often gets monotonous.

St. Josemaria Escriva passionately wrote,

“Blessed be that monotony of Hail Marys which purifies the monotony of your sins!”

I believe that the Rosary is a beautiful example of how we must approach every circumstance of our living.  A brother once told me that, “the beads of the Rosary is the rhythm of life.”  They don’t merely represent the rhythm of life.  They ARE the rhythm of life.  Every breath has its meaning, just as every bead has its significance.  Often times life can become monotonous.  But what I learned in praying the Rosary was that, somewhere hidden in the repetition and in the waiting, there is a beauty that is unveiled in its mystery.  The Mysteries of the Holy Rosary are the beautiful moments of God’s glory that we yearn for as time passes.  Those 10 Hail Mary’s are enlivened and monotony is diminished when we encounter Jesus Christ in the Mysteries.  Similar to that, we must learn to exact heavenly bliss from monotony in our very lives, only then will we truly and intimately know the secret to Mother Mary’s love for her son.

With every breath I am reminded of the sweetness of waiting, not because I inch towards a destination, but because in breathing I am reminded of a God who has given me life.  I am reminded of a God who loves me in ways I don’t deserve.  A God whom I yearn to love more and more each day, with every Hail Mary, and every passing bead.  A God who, with every answered and unanswered prayer, affirms me that though I have failed countless times in waiting for Him, He has revealed to me in eternity that real love waits.

“Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun.” – Eclessiastes 11:7

Pillars – Day 8

This blog post is taken from project73.tumblr.com a blog created by Frater Emmanuel (Richie Aldaba).

When Ray Mina, the speaker for the session, encouraged us to find people from different regions to share our love for them, I must confess I immediately disobeyed. I knew of two people that I wanted to say, “I love you to” and I knew they were standing at the back of the room. With my eyes fixed on the back, I headed straight towards them careful not to look at absolutely anyone else.

And there I found them, praying to themselves with the familiar and comfortable smiles on their faces. I nearly broke down when I approached them because I knew how much I owed them, how much they mean to me, and how important it is and was for me to let them know how I loved them so deeply.

That night, I approached Steve and Ellen Cadiz, couple coordinators who have worked with me since 2003. Although that night I only honoured them, (because they were the only ones there), I would be remiss to neglect posting about the amazing people known as parent or couple coordinators for YFC Pacific.

I would like to think the YFCs in my region have abundant blessings and gifts, most especially as it pertains to their faith. My younger brothers and sisters (on the most part) attend confession regularly, joyfully celebrate Mass, and have a remarkably deep understanding of faith for their age. All these gifts are a result of a number of things: solid retreats, great leadership, an amazing spiritual director etc.

But one thing often goes unnoticed. I firmly believe that our spirituality is due in large part because of the prayers of our beloved coordinators: the Rodases, the Cadizes, the Perezes, the Castroes, the Aguilars, the San Joses, the Alcantarras,  the Marcelos, the Siys, the Jayins, the Villamayors, the Empigs, the Umalis, the Trigos, the Diazes, the Reyes, and the Tangcos.

It is through their amazing example that we learned how to pray, how to feast, how to fellowship and how to be authentically Christian.

For me personally, I would be completely lost especially without our titos. They taught me how to love in such a deep and profound way. Despite my faults, they continue to love me to this very day. It is through their blessed love and service that we were ever taught how to care for one another. It is through their blessed love and service we experienced Jesus on a whole different level.

Much like St. Monica and the Holy Family, they nourished us with Christ’s love. Yes they fed us food, but they drew us closer to Christ in the most amazing way possible, through their intimate love for each other, for us, and most especially, for Jesus.

Though the names and faces continue to change with time, Couples for Christ has shone a light in to the very need and longing for every year human being – a need to for community in the divine image and likeness of His Most Holy Trinity.  May our CC’s never go unnoticed and may we, as the youth and young adults of the community, always show gratitude towards the sacrifices they make for us.

Thank you to all the CC’s who have mentored, pastored me and those I’ve been fortunate to serve alongside:
The Cabanos’
The Cadiz’s
The Atienza’s
The Castro’s
The Aguilar’s
The Reyes’
The Dimacali’s
The Dantes’
The Diaz’s
The Tangco’s
The Fournier’s
The Contreras’
The Ganaden’s
The Tadifa’s
The Ramos’

For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the Glory, now and forever.