Tag: Obedience

Joyful Mystery

From the Annunciation to the Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple. There is a lot of uncertainties within this series of decades in the Holy Rosary. It makes you wonder, why is it called the Joyful Mystery? The title of each decade is very exciting and it holds a beautiful story, but when we look deeper into each story what does it really say.

I was very inspired to write this reflection based off of Fr. Mike Schmitz’s video on “Having Joy in the Uncertainties”, which made me then realize the joy in the midst of this life of suffering. Momma Mary, in the Annunciation was approached by the angel Gabriel and was told that she would bare the Son of God. In response she said “Let it be done unto me according to thy word”, I never realized this until I watch the video with Fr. Mike, was that the very next sentence was “then the angel departed from her”. Can you imagine being in that moment, being told that you are going to have within you the Son of God and that was literally it? No context or anything. Like where do you go from there? No one told Mary and Joseph that they would have to go to Bethlehem and give birth to Christ in a manger. No one mentioned that they would have to flee to Egypt to save their Son from being killed. No one told Mary that she would have to witness her Son be tortured, spat on and crucified. There was so much uncertainty that the only thing that was certain was and still is the past. Yet, Momma Mary was still joyful. The Apostles were still joyful, they spread the Good News throughout the world. Through their suffering came out a lot of joy.

It is very humbling to know that in this life of suffering, there is joy that will follow. Yet, we do not know when or where that will come but we remain hopeful. I know for myself in this pandemic, at the beginning of the year, everything was set in stone, I was ready… then the NBA got cancelled, that’s when I knew things were going to change. It was so humbling for me to realize that everything can just be taken away in the snap of a finger. There was so much that was unexpected at that point in time that I had no choice but to rely on God and entrust myself to His will. It was hard to remain hopeful but after households, after one to ones I felt the joy and the hope that the Lord was wanting me to feel. To understand that I was being called to love in the uncertainty, to be joyful in the midst of the suffering. There is so much that I do not know and I can only pray the Lord, for you and I both, gives us the heart to overcome the world. To love beyond our capacities. There is joy and hope because God is with us.

Lord God, help us to entrust our lives to You in the midst of these times. There is so much uncertainty but with You we find hope and joy. Give us the strength to carry on. This we ask through Christ our Lord. 

Amen. 

Christian

Why?

‘We gave you a strong warning’, he said, ‘not to preach in this name, and what have you done? You have filled Jerusalem with your teaching, and seem determined to fix the guilt for this man’s death on us.‘

A lot of times we are faced with warnings like this or we get judged and criticized. This is actually a huge fear of mine. It is not like I am afraid to be Catholic, but more so afraid to proclaim that I am. Reading this verse from Thursday’s readings I couldn’t help but think of myself being in front of the high priest shook and distraught, sweating and nervous. I can’t help but think I am so weak that I can’t even defend the God that has given me so much in my life. Then I read the second part of the reading.

‘Obedience to God comes before obedience to men; it was the God of our ancestors who raised up Jesus, whom you executed by hanging on a tree. By his own right hand God has now raised him up to be leader and Saviour, to give repentance and forgiveness of sins through him to Israel. We are witnesses to this, we and the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him.‘

So after reading that, I questioned myself, why am I afraid? Why can’t I be just like Peter and not be afraid to be obedient to God? What is it that I am really holding back? Sometimes I think, the early Christians, they faced way more than what we face today. They were discriminated, stoned, judged and even killed. The amazing thing is, they did not run away they faced all of this  hatred and defended their faith. They stood on their solid ground. So what are we really afraid of? It’s funny because whenever I ask that, I am always recalled to my life verse.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:30-31

Constantly I am reminded of this verse and I am always called back to it. Why is it that I doubt? I know the Lord is taking care of me and He will protect me. No matter how many times I reject the Lord in my life, I am called to have faith in Him and believe in His love. So to say that by the end of this reflection I know the answer now would be wrong. I don’t know the answer as to why I doubt or why I am afraid to proclaim I am Catholic, all I know is that there should be no reason to doubt when the Lord’s plan will prevail.

Lord, guide me and protect me. Allow me to be a defendant of the faith. Give me the strength and the courage to proclaim Your Glory. Holy are You Lord God, let Your will be done.

Amen

Christian Medeiros

 

 

Anointing and Obedience

Living as a fulltime pastoral worker calls for a different kind of openness and humility. No matter how long or how familiar is the task, it is still important to listen to other people especially our heads in the way we spend our time.

2 weeks ago a leader reminded me of my priorities when he learned about the other trips that I am supposed to do. He said that I might be overwhelmed with the load given that I am also preparing for the HOLD Conference. I interpreted that as them telling me that I am not being responsible enough in handling my priorities and that I was not thinking properly in my decisions.

However, after few days I realized that as a fulltime worker I cannot say that I decide how I will spend my time in service. Looking deeply at it, it boils down to the anointing of the community. I applied to be a fulltime worker of CFC because I believe that the Lord anointed this community to facilitate my calling as a missionary. This is not just towards the organization but to the leaders as well – it is the same anointing. Obedience then to our leaders is fulfilling the anointing of the Lord to our community.

 “Lord you hold our hearts and our future, continue to soften out hearts that it will be molded to your call. May we be able to fully submit to your anointing always in the posture of obedience.”

Keep Me In Your Most Pure Heart

In the past 2 years I have witnessed the community grow like never before. I think this is because we are more and more imitating the posture of Mary—her, humility, faithfulness, obedience—her fiat. When we Proclaimed the Greatness of the Lord, we focused on Mary saying ‘yes’. When we obeyed and witnessed, we listened to Mary and said yes to Jesus as she did. Now we will behold and ponder. Next year will be about entering ever deeply and profoundly in the ‘yes’ of Mary and we will experience nearness to her Son and on the cross like we’ve never experienced before. It’s going to be amazing and I’m looking forward to being part of the plentiful harvest the Lord has in store for all of us.

If you just joined the community, praise God. We’re looking forward to journeying with you! If you just accepted a service role for the first time, praise God! I can’t wait for you to experience the outpour of blessings with everything you give. If you are transitioning to a different service, praise God! It might be scary but the Lord still has so much to teach and show you. Never cease in expecting great things from our God. If you’re transitioning to SFC, praise God! You are going to be ever blessed in your new state of life. May you carry your anointing humbly and joyfully as the Lord shows you amazing new things. In everything, may we all look to His love. Let us empty ourselves, open our hearts, and allow our God to love us always.

Like the beloved disciple, let us also heed Jesus’ entrustment, and take Mary into our home as she also takes us and keeps us in her most pure and immaculate heart. Amen.

Totus tuus

Trinity Run

Winter is fast approaching, and I can already feel my body starting to switch over to hibernation mode. Soon enough it’ll be too hard to get up out of bed, nearly impossible to escape out of those double duvets. Tis the season for excusing our way out of health habits.

I used to run regularly to maintain some sort of physical activity but that died down since who knows when. Spring is always difficult to face after long winters because of the three month break. I personally loathe treadmills and will refuse to get on one. I’d rather wait. I much rather prefer the great outdoors, but Toronto winter weather does very little to help with that. Daylight savings mean shorter days and longer nights. It takes approximately two weeks to adjust. My body is definitely losing on this front.

Our spiritual health suffers from the same changes. We have cycles where we’re going  strong- we’ve found some sort of groove with our prayer time and involvement with the sacraments. At these moments, our relationship with Christ is toned and trimmed. Excess weight cut off. The closer we get to Christ the less baggage we carry- our material and worldly desires no longer necessary. We are tied down to less.

But then, at some point, we face an itch of sorts. An itch that just needs to be scratched. A craving that just needs to be satisfied. A thirst that needs to be quenched. But instead of reaching for the healthy & obvious choice of water we go for the Coke. Pepsi. Ginger Ale. Root Beer.  And just like that, our impenetrable fortress comes crashing down. Why? Because we foolishly ignored that cracked wooden frame that started to break- little by little. It was easier to feign ignorance to something that needed fixing. It’s easier to give in and let our human needs win.

“I’m only doing it once.” I still exercise anyway. Cheating won’t hurt.” 

That’s what I realize happened to me. And for some reason or another, I kept making excuses and reasoned my way out of a very fruitful, beautiful prayer habit. It only took one small “set back”. I cut down my prayer time, my weekday church dates, and adoration drop ins so that I could bulk up on old habits which I knew were only going to get me in worse (spiritual) shape.

Negative thoughts filled my head. I became impatient, moody, and lethargic. Two weeks passed since my last confession, and although I knew I needed it PRONTO …my body would magically (temporarily) shake off the anxiety. It made me think I could keep going. Nyeh, it can wait.

Nope.

Confession is our detox. Our body needs to get rid of built up toxins the same way our soul needs to get rid of impurities. Getting through it is tough, but we always come out healthier afterwards. Praise God, for God because I finally went for that detox round. He knew I needed it. And I knew I needed it. The hardest step is always the first, the hardest run is always the most dreadful.

Our prayer life can be a long outstretched summer. However if we trip and fall into the darkness of winter, we shouldn’t despair. We don’t have to endure three months of waiting. We can choose to fast forward to spring.  My winter lasted 8 days too long, but today’s TRINITY RUN (adoration, confession and Holy Eucharist) allowed me to see the Son rise gloriously. Thankfully, our salvation and redemption is not bound by time, because we are loved by a God whose love is endless and timeless. 

 “A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from His love.”
-Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

God Willing

Prayer to know God’s Will

May it please the supreme and divine Goodness
to give us all abundant grace
ever to know his most holy will
and perfectly to fulfill it.

—St. Ignatius of Loyola

More often than not, we tend to associate God’s will as something we could really adhere to, even obey.  What I’ve learned recently is that even deeper than God’s will as a command is God’s will as Truth — a perfect Truth that longs to be fulfilled.  Denial of God’s plan is not merely an act of disobedience, but a blind eye from what is – perfect, beautiful, and true.

In Exodus 3:14, God reveals himself to Moses, “I am who I am”.  The divine Truth simply is.  When we say “non serviam” in our work, it does not change the nature of God’s will.  We are making the conscious choice to close our eyes from divine Truth, yet it does not cease to exist.  God’s will is perfection in it’s highest form, and when we open our eyes, ears, hearts, to that very Truth, we are graced with glimpses of God’s goodness.  We are made free.

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” John 8:32

A brother once told me that the image of Truth manifested in the physical is our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross.  It encompasses all that is perfect, beautiful, and true — compassion, sorrow, love, suffering, sacrifice, forgiveness and so much more.  Yes, it may be easy to close ourselves to God’s will, yet in those times of desolation, he has given us an image in the crucifixion to remind us of our alpha and omega here on Earth – dying for the sake of love.  Remember, too, that honourable as it is to die a martyr’s death, is also to live a martyrs life.

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

Christ on the cross is the ultimate example of a heart faithfully abondoning itself to Father God – totally, faithfully, freely, fruitfully.  I can only hope and pray that, through constant mortification and sanctification through grace, and consecration to our Blessed Lady, I will be the man that God had intended only because of my total reliance on the Lord and openness to the Truth.  I will be one who answers You and I will respond in the only way I know that is true – by loving You with all of me, God-willing.

Totus Tuus

 

Extremely Favoured

Thirty minutes after my shift ended today, I walked into my director’s office with a heavy cloud looming over me, and no it wasn’t the one outside that’s been causing all this crazy rain here in the GTA. Approximately 23 days from today I will be hopping on a plane (again) but this time with my family.

I was sure that I’d be coming home with bad news today- that our upcoming family trip would cost me my job. We will be gone all of July which means that I’ll be missing out on my service for the Eastern True North Conference. Since I didn’t feel too comfortable with that, I started a novena for the Western True North Conference in Calgary that’s happening Mid-Aug. I’d be back just in time for that. I don’t know how it would be possible financially, but God has provided for me under worse conditions before. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

To put things in perspective, I was just granted a two month leave (MAR-MAY) even though I only started in September of last year. I’m only five weeks back in my classroom and here I was expecting my director to approve another sudden leave of absence. How was I going to explain to her that I needed 2 months….again?

———

I knew I had to call on Mama Mary so I did the rosary during my lunch break hoping that she’d send an extra serving of peace. She gave me that and a spoonful extra. Knowing how I am, I knew I’d find every excuse not to ask permission today. So I walked into the staff room, had a quick convo with God and He reassured me that no matter what the outcome would be, there was already a victory. Even if I was to lose my job, I would still have my family vacation.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths || Proverbs 3:6

Brothers & sisters, I walked out of that room not with storm clouds, but with sunshine and a double rainbow. I am extremely and irrevocably favoured by God. Not only did my director tell me that my leave would be approved, she made it very clear to me that she would ignore any talk of resignation. My classroom is secured. AGAIN. My job as a preschool teacher is on reserve.

That’s not all.

I will be receiving paid vacation time, which means that there’s an extra paycheque coming in while I’m gone. That amount is enough for a round trip ticket to Calgary.

“It’s never about whether or not YOU can provide for yourself. Faith is knowing that you have a God who can do wonders for you. Faith is knowing that He is of divine providence. It was never about you to begin with! So the next time you consider whether or not you can go, take your question to God first, and don’t let it just die with you. That’s the beauty about our relationship with the Lord. Sometimes we don’t even do anything yet he still showers us with abundant blessings. He still wants to keep capturing our hearts. He still wants to reach out to us. But first you have to allow yourself to see the ways in which he tries to reach out to you. All he needs is your Yes.” (July 19, 2012)

The Lord hasn’t stopped showing me how extremely favoured and extremely loved I am. He affirmed me just now by allowing me to reread that old blog post. Little did I know that the “yes” I gave 500 days ago would lead me here, walking on a path made wonderfully and beautifully paved straight for me.