‘We gave you a strong warning’, he said, ‘not to preach in this name, and what have you done? You have filled Jerusalem with your teaching, and seem determined to fix the guilt for this man’s death on us.‘
A lot of times we are faced with warnings like this or we get judged and criticized. This is actually a huge fear of mine. It is not like I am afraid to be Catholic, but more so afraid to proclaim that I am. Reading this verse from Thursday’s readings I couldn’t help but think of myself being in front of the high priest shook and distraught, sweating and nervous. I can’t help but think I am so weak that I can’t even defend the God that has given me so much in my life. Then I read the second part of the reading.
‘Obedience to God comes before obedience to men; it was the God of our ancestors who raised up Jesus, whom you executed by hanging on a tree. By his own right hand God has now raised him up to be leader and Saviour, to give repentance and forgiveness of sins through him to Israel. We are witnesses to this, we and the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him.‘
So after reading that, I questioned myself, why am I afraid? Why can’t I be just like Peter and not be afraid to be obedient to God? What is it that I am really holding back? Sometimes I think, the early Christians, they faced way more than what we face today. They were discriminated, stoned, judged and even killed. The amazing thing is, they did not run away they faced all of this hatred and defended their faith. They stood on their solid ground. So what are we really afraid of? It’s funny because whenever I ask that, I am always recalled to my life verse.
“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:30-31
Constantly I am reminded of this verse and I am always called back to it. Why is it that I doubt? I know the Lord is taking care of me and He will protect me. No matter how many times I reject the Lord in my life, I am called to have faith in Him and believe in His love. So to say that by the end of this reflection I know the answer now would be wrong. I don’t know the answer as to why I doubt or why I am afraid to proclaim I am Catholic, all I know is that there should be no reason to doubt when the Lord’s plan will prevail.
Lord, guide me and protect me. Allow me to be a defendant of the faith. Give me the strength and the courage to proclaim Your Glory. Holy are You Lord God, let Your will be done.
Amen
Christian Medeiros