Kinsmanship

The last couple of days I spent time with both my upper and lower household. In fact for 48hrs the only people I saw were my household. On Thursday some of us went to Wonderland to celebrate the birthdays of two brothers. One of those brother’s was Vince, who was our Full Time Pastoral Worker (FTPW), and Thursday was his last full day with us here in GTA. If it’s one thing that really stood out amongst all the business and excitement of the day was friendship.

It was truly an honour to seriously be able to call each and everyone I was with a friend. We were hanging out because we wanted to be with each other. It wasn’t out of obligation or because of an event, we were just chilling. I say this not out of bitterness or to throw any shade, but it was something that stood out because I have been in households before where the friendship doesn’t go beyond the meetings and service events. My personal household journey and experience has not always been an easygoing one. I’ve experienced the m.i.a., gone inactive household heads. The only call or text you last-minute when there’s an event household heads. And the awkward small talk, obligated to say hi and bye at an event, household heads. I’ve also had the pleasure of having household heads who were accountable for me. The ones that randomly check up on you. The household heads who are genuine friends and you can be real with about every and anything. In terms of myself being a household head, I’m sure there have been times where I fail. Times where I’ve been a bit of all the aforementioned types, but hopefully I’ve also been able to be accountable to others and to be a friend.

It’s not only about household heads, but the entire household. To be friends with the people you serve with makes a huge difference. Much like when you have a job, it could be the most annoying job in the world but if you have a strong team of co-workers you genuine like and can get along with it makes all the difference!

So after the long day on Thursday, some of us saw Vince off at the airport early Friday morning. I was able to beat the rush hour traffic and make it to morning mass. Not going to lie, I was extremely tired. Wednesday night I had about 3hrs of sleep, and again on Thursday night only another 3hrs. The temptation to skip mass was real as I arrived to the church at 8am and had to wait half an hour. Interestingly enough, in my half-dazed state, what really woke me up was the responsorial psalm where the response was, “Your friends make known Your glorious kinsmanship, O Lord.”

At first I thought I misheard it because it seemed so out of place to me. In a sense it seemed too casual. So I paid closer attention and again the congregation echoed, “Your friends make known Your glorious kinsmanship, O Lord.”

I broke it down into two parts. First, I thought about the Apostles and their journey with Christ. I was up really late Wednesday night talking to a friend in a difference province, I didn’t even feel tired at the time because the conversation was life giving to me. One of the things we talked about was humanizing the saints and thinking about what they were like when they were on earth. For example when they went out on mission together, imagine if they couldn’t sleep because one of the apostles were snoring too loud. It would have been inevitable that they did things to get on each others nerves, but they probably had moments where they trolled each other for fun too. In their journey together they became friends, and not just with each other, but truly friends with Jesus in flesh.

After Jesus’s time on earth they didn’t just stop being friends or forget about Jesus. Rather they accepted the mission that was bestowed upon them and kept going. They had a personal stake in the mission, not just because of fear of the Lord or fear of the loss of heaven, but also because Jesus was their friend! Talk about your original ride or die homies. I found the wording in the responsorial psalm to be very deliberate. It didn’t say “Your followers”, “Your people”, or “Your servants”, but rather it said “Your friends”.

The second part was about the Lord’s glorious kinsmanship. One definition I found for kinsmanship is, “a bond shared between two or more individuals. Its more than friendship…. There is a closeness, a sense of fierce loyalty to someone not of blood relation.” This is the definition I had in my mind when I was at mass. And to be honest I found it profoundly flattering and just unfathomable that the Lord would want to be my friend. The Apostles’ job wasn’t to brag about their friendship with God, but rather invite you and to show God’s great love and how He wants to be in friendship with you! Everything about Christ is rooted in love and in relationships. “God Himself is an eternal exchange of love – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – and He has destined for us to share in that exchange.” – CCC 221

And so the Apostles were entrusted to share all that love and all that Jesus had taught them to others. That mission carries on today still through us. Once you’ve received the love of Christ and truly get to know Jesus, you become His friend! And like the responsorial psalm both reminds and instructs us, “Your friends make known your glorious kinsmanship, O Lord.” It is our duty, what we should be doing; let the glorious genuinely deep friendship and love the Lord has for each and everyone for us known to every single person on earth.

I was happy that I was able to experience even a small fraction of this through the Christ centered friendships in my households. I pray that we are able to bring Christ centered love to all our friendships that we have now and in the future.

In Christ,

Meagan Webb

God is good all the time!

 GOD > Time > Right Now

I have this automatic tendency to dislike the concept of Time. Whenever I think of time, I either think about how much I dislike waiting or I worry about all the tasks I need to complete by a particular deadline. The former is probably the worst of the two because it’s often something I can’t control. To put it simply, when I want something or know something, I’d very much prefer to have/know it now instead of later.  This sort of impatience transcends throughout my life and I often find myself asking questions like, Why won’t God just tell me where to go? What is He calling me to do now?When will I find “the one”? Why haven’t I graduated school yet? When will I find a new job? Why hasn’t this person replied to my phone call, email, or text yet? God, why is everything taking so long? While I want everything instantly, I’ve learnt very slowly (how ironic) to find gladness in waiting. I say this now because I’ve experienced first-hand that God uses time to help the heart heal and grow fond of love and forgiveness.

To put it in perspective, recently a close friend of mine apologized for things they had done to hurt me, that ultimately hurt our friendship. It may not seem like a big deal for some, but I had purposely chose to stop initiating conversation with my friend without telling them. I avoided going on Skype, our main means of conversation, at all costs because I needed time be free from the hurt they had (unintentionally) caused me, but not in a way that completely limited them from speaking to me. I even thought to myself that if they really needed to speak to me, they could message me on Facebook or text/call me. But they didn’t do so for eight months until they sent me that long apology.

In this apology, my friend touched upon every single hurt and more. And it was very evident to me that they were truly sorry for it all. If my friend were to apologize to me sooner than they did, I wonder if I would have been strong enough to accept it and I also wonder if I would have been able to believe them. Although I was always ready to forgive them in the past, moving on was always the hardest part for me because I never knew when exactly I’d completely be over whatever it was that they did.

In the past eight months of not speaking to my friend, I was almost forced to depend on others, especially God. In this time, I grew self-confident in who I was and my abilities and capabilities because the more I focused on God, the more I was able to see my true self. Choosing to walk away from this friendship was tough because it was the first time I had ever done something like this; I even cried once in the process haha. But the amount of growth I’ve experienced and the lessons I’ve learnt were worth it because my relationship with God grew so much.

When my friend apologized to me, I turned to God right away and discerned if I should even reply. I spent 12 hours in discernment and God showed me through Scripture, old blog posts I had written in the past 8 months, and podcasts from words from Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI that I was ready. So I talked to my friend, forgave them, went through the necessary hurts these past few weeks, and today I still consider them as one of my best friends.

I know our friendship will never be the same and my expectations of them will never be the same, but in great sincerity and confidence I say, “praise God!” Confusing emotions and misguided words no longer exist in our friendship. We are great friends — nothing more — and that’s all I could ask for. I’m thankful to have my friend back into my life because as I witness their growth, perseverance, and joy, an additional beam of light is brought into my life. I’m blessed to have them be a part of my life again, and I’m blessed to be a part of theirs.

Time is a beautiful gift from God that I often misuse and abuse when I’m lazy, but when I use it with the intent of wanting to grow and wanting to give glory to God, then time is used at its full. I was so impatient about everything but I’ve learnt to be “compelled to be patient”, especially when it comes to wanting to know answers to life’s biggest questions.

Patience was my least favourite virtue because I thought it was just about waiting tirelessly, but I see now that being patient is about believing that God is always on time. Furthermore, being patient is about living moment by moment and enjoying it because God is present. He is present in times of joy, suffering, trial, doubt, and He is present in the moving on stages, where things seem the most uncertain. He never abandons those He loves. If I am hurting, I know I will be healed when God says so. If I’m doubting, I know I will be given faith when God says so. If I’m experiencing anything negative, God will always respond with goodness and love in His perfect time, whether that is right away or not.

Today I see that having the time to heal is greater than wanting to be healed right away because wounds don’t heal over a day. Sure scabs and such form over it, but deep wounds and cuts only heal over long periods of time, and then they develop scars. But eventually those scars fade with more time that the wound is only a memory in the mind, and not even a graze over the heart. In all of this talk about time being the healer of wounds, I believe more earnestly that God is the ultimate healer as He is not limited by time. So when I say having time to heal is greater than being “healed” right away, I also say that having God is much greater than this because He is the Maker of time. All events are created and respond to His voice.

God is good all the time. And all the time, God is greater. 🙂
Amen.

Friendship | One of the Four F’s in CFC-Youth

Painted by Del Parson (1983)

Jesus Washing the Feet of the Apostles, Del Parson (1983)

While I can sometimes get lost in the busyness of service and the sometimes-stressful concept of ‘household’ I sometimes forget that mission isn’t a lone journey towards God. Everyone in the Couples For Christ community, and all Christians alike, are striving to live lives pleasing to God; we are all in it together, trying to share the Gospel, trying to love one another the way that God loves us.

As a business student I’ve learnt that an organization’s structure can be one of its strengths. For Couples For Christ’s organizational structure this still remains true. As the family is the basic unit of society, the household is the basic unit of CFC; and over the past few years I’ve definitely grown in my appreciation of the household because it is founded on relationships centred in Christ. That’s not to say that I wasn’t grateful before, but through recent experiences, it’s become more evident to me that the friendships I have in my CFC-Youth and SFC households are living-giving friendships that bear much fruit. And the people (brothers and sisters) in my households mirror God’s great love in many beautiful ways. #4oclock #weeatfirst #sisterskeeper #sistahood #ilovemyHH

Friendship in the household is extended to the chapter, then to the area, and in the greater scheme of things, wherever the CFC community is. In that regard I’ve met some amazing people in the community from around the world, who I can easily say are my friends — not only that, but my brothers and sisters. One of the memories I will always hold dear to my heart was when I went to the Philippines for WGAT and GLS in 2011. There I met some CFC-Youth brothers and sisters from across Canada, the UAE, Singapore, and the Philippines. To this day, we still message each other on Facebook or Twitter, or comment on one another’s Instagram posts. Although distance makes it difficult to maintain friendships, I’ve realized that any conversation or interaction I have with a friend is a huge blessing, whether they live near me or far away.

Last night I was given the opportunity to speak to one of my friends from the Pacific Region, whom I haven’t spoken with for months. During our conversation we weren’t able to cover every single detail, but they shared a lot of information with me that can only help me confidently say that they are pressing towards holiness, intentionally learning how to live and love like Christ even though it is very hard to. Through speaking to my friend and hearing them share about their life, I’ve come to see that the cross I bear is the same cross in which I should draw strength. (Side note: Jesus has already won.) To be reminded of this, not only emphasizes how great God is, but also how unbelievably blessed I am to have life-giving friendships in this community that are solidly rooted in God’s amazing love.

Besides the myriad of people in this community and around the world that are seeking God, may I never forget that God is wherever I go; Jesus is the perfect friend, who has never given up on me and has reminded me a million times to believe and trust in Him. He is the only One who remains with me constantly and consistently. Although humble, He is the greatest among all that exists and He can never be replaced by any person or any thing in this world. Jesus is my friend who walks with me in the mission, patiently listens to my thoughts and prayers, and keeps close to me, helping me journey towards the Father.

Dear God,

Thank You for the gift of life-giving friendships that remind me of Your love, kindness, generosity, mercy, and compassion. I pray for all the friendships I’ve gained and I pray for all those who I have yet to meet. For the people who I haven’t spoken to in a long time, I pray that they see You in them and have the desire to live and love like You; that their hearts welcome You into their lives over and over again. All the glory is Yours now and forever.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.
Amen.

Who are my Friends?

The gospel yesterday was from Mark 2:1-12. It talked about the paralytic man who was carried by his friends to the roof of the house where Jesus was. This gospel keeps me grounded and grateful of what the Lord has given me.

If not for the concern of the four men, they would not have exerted so much effort for him. If not for their commitment and dedication, they could have stopped as they were approaching the overflowing house. If not for their resourcefulness and teamwork, they could have hurt the man as they were pulling him to the roof. If not for the trust and belief that Jesus can make him better, they could have not gone at all.

 

“Lord Thank you for giving me my family and friends. They are your gifts. Lord I pray for the people that you have surrounded me with that they will not get tired of looking after me. I pray also that as I am looking after other sisters, may I be bold and courageous enough to carry them to the roof, open the roof and lead them to Jesus.”

 

Candy

Philippians 1:29

 

 

Called to Love

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”    – John 15:11-13

I used to believe that love was always being on a person’s side. To stand by them and support them in all that they did. I thought you were supposed to protect that person from getting hurt, from any pain or sorrow.

But the more I grow in my faith the more I realize that my previous definition of love wasn’t love. I was babying the people I was called to love. I was treating them like infants. When you raise a child you can’t constantly treat them as if they can’t take care of themselves. You have to teach them. You have to guide them in the right direction. You have to lovingly correct their wrongdoings. You have to make known their faults so that they can become better. Love is more than protection. Love is wanting the betterment of others. And in our faith, love is doing whatever you can to get that person into heaven.

And in my quest and calling to love, I’ve come to realize that it is not easy. People fight back. People get angry and upset. People make you feel like you’re wrong, like you’re stupid. But I’ve come to know that I must suffer if I am to do the Lord’s work. To build up the fire inside someone, I’ll have to get burned. But it hurts. And it is discouraging. But it strengthens my faith. And when it gets tough, when my heart is failing, I can hear my God speaking to me:

“If the world hates you, realize it hated me first.”    – John 15:18