My Interior Castle

Continuing my journey as an MV, I ask the Lord where am I in my discernment, where am I spiritually, and how is my relationship with Him.  I desire to know more and more about Him.  After the first few moments reading Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila, I could not help but smile to see exactly where I am in my journey.

THIRD MANSIONS. The description of these Manions of Exemplary Life beings with stern exhortations on the dangers of trusting to one’s own strength and to the virtues one has already acquired, which must still of necessity be very weak.  Yet, although the soul which reaches the Third Mansions may still fall back, it has attained a high standard of virtue.  Controlled by discipline and penance and disposed to performing acts of charity toward others, it has acquired prudence and discretion and orders its life well.  Its limitations are those of vision: it has not yet experienced to the full inspiring force of love.  It has not made a full self-oblation, a total self-surrender.  Its love is still governed by reason, and so its progress is slow.  It suffers from aridity, and is given only occasional glimpses into the Mansions beyond.

The first thing to humble me is that passing through these Mansions is not a race, but another reason to come closer to Him.  If my faith in Him is weak then it is my call to have stronger faith through my relationships.  If I have not fully surrendered then I must learn to trust and have more hope.  If I continue to sin then I must stay away from these temptations.  If I have not experienced a full force of love, then it probably means that I haven’t loved my neighbour as myself.  These are such perfect goals for my year and to help me with my discernment.  I ask for your prayers to help me reach these goals.

@itsmetimmm

To our beloved “CFC Centre/Office”, we love you…

It goes by many names…The local brick building owned by CFC:  “CFC Office” in Canada, “CFC Centre” in the Philippines.  It may go unnoticed to the membership, but reporting to this CFC building…is a special reality of every Missionary.

I remember travelling, rain, shine, or ultimate shine, a 40min or so Jeepney/Tricycle ride daily during immersion in Isabela last year. There were days where we had actual work to do, other days where YFCs would randomly appear, and, pulling out the plastic chairs stashed in the corner, we’d “bum around” in the small, but homey space.

In Manila, the “Centre”, was the building where the Mission was buzzing.  Four floors of bustling employees, our very own Family Min floor (with a gazillion of FTPWs) and Ablaze store, co-op stores attached…”Centre” was really a good qualifier for it.  Worship and recitation of the CFC Mission and Vision every morning, Mass at noon, automated 3PM Divine Mercy that would blare through the speakers wherever you are.  It’s a different kinda of “Office”…one where you can really feed off and be reinvigorated by the Spirit in its workers, the work itself and the Mission.

The CFC Office in GTA is smaller, less “bustly” and more business.  On some days, it gets dreary…the same 6-7 people, your own, but lonely, desk, the monotonous sound of the copier and 2PM radio mix .   But I dream of day that this building is no longer seen as an “Office”, but a “Centre” where many workers will be reporting in and out as they work to-and-from the Mission; a hub where God’s glory proclaim in the great work done by workers ablaze.

Lord, increase our Work, our Workers, and our zeal to serve You! 

 

Humble Beauty

The pure and liberating chant of a sisters worship is so beautiful. Harmony magnifies the Holy Spirits presence. As I sang along with my sisters during worship I felt a sense of peace and unity with each of my sisters. “Majesty, Faithful One. Saviour of my Soul, You are here.” The Lord was truly present. God challenges me to see beauty in everything. Everything. As ‘easy’ as it seems to seek the beauty in everything, it is a challenge especially when the evil one wants otherwise. Tonight was truly a beautiful night. We are all called towards holiness. Pure and divine beauty is Holiness. Saints become saints because they have the humility to acknowledge that they are sinners yet have the willingness to surrender all that they are. May our hearts be filled with the humility to ask God for the strength and sincerity to see beauty in everything.

As daughters of Christ, may we surrender our hearts to You and praise Your name with an angelic hymn. Forever I will sing, forever I will live for You. The one I love is You, Jesus.

Benedictus Deus in Saecula

Uncomfortably Comfortable

To finally be living the dream is an awe-inspiring thing. When the Lord of the universe has made sense to the past 25 years of my life. Today I am living the dream, training for the best job in the world – a full time pastoral worker for CFC-Youth. I came into the training with high hopes and confidence that the Lord has truly prepared me for the task ahead. Having been in the community for the past 15 years, I thought I had the means and know how in order to deal with whatever training had in store for me.

Lo and behold, I am humbled by the very fact that God’s plan for me is greater than my own prideful outlook of myself. 12 days into the training, I am reminded that I know nothing, own nothing, and can bring nothing to the table that will compare to what God has brought forth ever since time began. A much needed reality check that God has called better and greater people to the mission before, today, and for sure – tomorrow. I am but a humble servant responding because of an unwavering and unconditional love that He has blessed me with.

A state of being uncomfortable is where I am at because the call entails transformation of being worthy of that very call and love. God is slowly and surely chipping away at hindrances that cause me stumble, and cause others to stumble because of me. He has redirected my direction from a “me” driven path to a path pointed to Him alone. And while each day is a struggle of clawing, crawling and limping my way towards the One who called – it is a very beautiful struggle. I am comforted by the fact that it is Him who put me here. That it is Him who is with me every step of the way.

Holiness Equals to Happiness

Ever had that monent where you feel as though everything is going wrong, and you just don’t wanna do anything. Not even go to mass? To the point where you ask yourself, “What’s the point? Everything’s just going to go wrong anyway.” That my brothers and sisters was my past.

Never ending questions as to why I have to go to mass and pray, when the ending would stay the same anyway. Then I was asked to serve for a camp and was forced to go to confession as one of the “requirements” to serve at a camp, and that was one of the best requirements ever. First thought, as soon as you lift every thing up, then will be the start of you being lifted up to God. It’s very easy to take advantage of the happiness that we feel. Half the time, we feel as though we deserve it, therefore we shouldn’t have to be grateful for them. The reality is brothers and sisters, the happiness that we feel won’t have to be temporary if we keep on trying to get closer to the Lord.

Only our love for the Lord can lead us to true happiness, therefore holiness can lead us to happiness. Let us not focus on the worldly things and keep our mindset to our ending goal, to be with the Lord our God, the True Happiness.

Making a difference

Just came from a very powerful and affirming weekend trip to the Pacific Region for the Couple Coordinators and Regional Leaders Conferences.
As pastors to the youth, many times we wonder if we are making a difference at all in the lives of the youth whom we serve. Sometimes we even wonder if our efforts are even worth it. When we experience being overwhelmed, we want to move to another service or even quit the community.
Last weekend the affirmation came once again:
The youth who presented the workshops acted so confident, professional but most of all, passionate, it blows me away how much they are so inspired to serve the Lord.
A youth leader who comes from a broken family who experienced the love and support of his Couple Coordinators.
A youth leader who is about to enter the seminary and shared that he has been discerning this since Grade 8 (this blows me away how at 13 or 14 someone can even think of priesthood).
A young sister who now is a Couple Coordinator together with her husband, who was part of the group that started CFC Youth in Canada way back in 1994.
There are many more youths who we served in the past, who are now Couples for Christ members, families in the Holy Spirit renewing the face of the earth. It is becoming a reality. Our efforts are not in vain. We do make a difference.
Next time we feel discouraged and tired, let’s remember all the faces of the youth who love us, simply because we loved them. Simply because they saw Jesus in us, just as we saw Jesus in them.
Personally, I have found my purpose in life. After my early years of self destruction, I now Know why God allowed me to be born; I know why God brought me to Canada. I know why God brought me to this community.
Lord, thank you for calling us to serve the youth, may we continue to push on toward the prize that is eternal.
AMDG

Tito Gee

Encounter With a Person

Personal conversion happens when we encounter the person of Jesus Christ. St. Paul, on the road to Damacus, the woman at the well, Mary Magdaline, St. Thomas, and many others. Pope Benedict XVI said, “Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” When we truly encounter Jesus Christ, we are given a new horizon in life and a decisive direction. If this doesn’t happen, then we haven’t truly encountered and opened our hearts to Him.

We must be careful not to get too caught up with the ethics and lofty ideas of Christianity. This was the downfall of some the Pharisees. Jesus appeals to the core of our being: our hearts. Sometimes I do fall and become like a Pharisee when I’m hard on myself for not understanding certain concepts as well as others, or even when I judge others for not knowing the law. How foolish and arrogant of me to be that way. It is a hardened heart like mine during these times that Jesus opposes.

I must remain focused on the Word before the words, the Person before the books, Jesus Christ. In my weakness, I hope to encounter Him often for a daily conversion because my hardened heart definitely needs that. Oh how I wish I could just go through one life-changing encounter and be set for life. I find that I slip often and I truly need to encounter Him more than once. I think Jesus knew this and is why He created the Church and instituted His Sacraments and why we have sacramentals. He did this so that we can have a daily encounter with Him, truly and fully, with all of His body, blood, soul, and divinity. This daily encounter is what empowers us to live the Christian life with zeal.

My Jesus, I am so unworthy of You. This is why I praise and thank You with all of my heart for giving me a Mother who makes me worthy because of her prayers. In her, may I be able to encounter You and receive all the graces you intend to give me. By the Holy Spirit, may You be in me so much that when others encounter me, they encounter You. Use me Lord as Your instrument to turn peoples hearts back to You, but may that conversion always start in my own heart. Amen,