God Infinite

“In order to express something about God, we use imperfect images and limited notions. And so everything we say about God is subject to the reservation that our language is not equal to God’s greatness. Therefore we must constantly purify and improve our speech about God” (Youcat, p.16).

If God exists, and He is infinite, then there must therefore be an infinite number of ways to express something about God.

—

This past semester I had the opportunity to take a class on the philosophy of religion, which I’m confident has expanded my perspective on the search for God through reason. Catholicism makes the claim that man is receptive to God, and that man’s longing for God, which can be sought through reason, is ultimately what religion is there to address. The personal difficulty I have which, at times, prevents me from fully embracing Catholicism, is that a closed system can either be consistent OR complete, but never both. However, I do recognize the benefit from devoting oneself to a closed system in the sense that it allows for a life of consistent integrity based on that system’s beliefs.

Witnessing difference in religion is like a group of friends each giving their own personal reflection on a giant abstract painting that goes well beyond their peripheral vision, and for some reason the artist is nowhere to be found, also the painting has no title.

Catholicism is universal, but is it complete?

It’s pretty clear that all religions will consider their view on God as valid, and Christianity is no different. We believe that Jesus Christ has given us an exclusive, midnight showing, front row experience to the show. Have you ever listened to yourself recite the Apostle’s Creed? Objectively you would think yourself to be mad. This is what we believe, it’s INSANE, but it is what we FIRMLY believe.

Though I like to think it doesn’t end there.

If we are to be constantly purifying and improving our speech about God we MUST be inclusive rather than exclusive. Learning the beliefs and practices of other faiths does nothing to hurt your Catholic integrity as long as you trust that we as a church are blessed by God. It’s a beautiful thing to witness youth become so in love with the Lord that they seek different ways to express that love without limitation.

We are free as soon as we grasp the concept of our freedom.
Therefore, I make the claim that God is infinite.

– Jesse R.

Is that what you really want?

When you spend every waking hour with 20+ other CFC-Youth members for a three- week period the normal conference high quadruples.  You never really come off the mountain experience you’re feeding off of each other’s vibes. We all came with different service backgrounds but what we shared was this search for God in a land foreign to us. Our pathways all merged into some sort of Lord of the Rings quest thus making the journey less tiring. So when the time came that I had to leave my tightly sealed and sheltered CFC-Youth pack to transition back to my regular Philippines environment, I really felt displaced.

Right after the two week World Great Adventure Tour, I went on a five day excursion with my childhood friends to Iloilo, Guimaras and Boracay. Halfway through our trip we stopped by this Trappist monastery. It was part of the day tour and to be honest with all the changes that kept happening I really needed to find myself in something familiar. A church seemed like the best option. Now I’ve entered dozens of churches here in the Philippines and the beauty each one holds always takes my breath away. But there was something different about this one.

As soon as I entered through the gates, my tear ducts hit some sort of overdrive. Something caught my throat and my chest tightened up. Something was tugging at my heartstrings, and it wasn’t being very gentle. All throughout the year I’ve felt God playing hide and seek with me. The moments that He decides to make His presence felt always catch me off guard and I can’t help but feel as if some hypothetical suckerpunch comes flying at me. Ultimate silence filled my head while my heart was being flooded with a million and one different emotions spurred by nothing.

Then out of nowhere, I felt God asking me in the most casual tone:

“What do you really want? I’m not asking you what you think I think you want. I’m asking you to tell me what the desires in your heart are. Of course I know them. I know what will bring you happiness, but I need you to vocalize what YOU want…what you FEEL you deserve to have in your life.”

It was probably one of the most humbling moments throughout this trip. There’s a difference between giving an answer because you know it’s the textbook sample, and giving an authentic, sincere heartfelt reply. He knows what I want, of course he does. Some of the things I’ve been asking for are more than a decade old. But there I was being asked to take centre stage. Would I ask for the same thing knowing that this time He was initiating instead? Was I really sure about what I wanted? I just pictured God smiling down at me, encouraging me to ask for my desires with full confidence.

Before walking back to join my friends for the rest of the tour, I walked over to where the candles for petition were. I took five candles and as I lit one for every prayer I felt myself getting lighter. It was an act of unpacking my emotional luggage. I realized that gaining peace through God would happen as a culmination of reaching different checkpoints. This was one of them. I looked at my five candles, let out an exasperated sigh and confidently muttered Psalm 37:4……

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Reminders

“The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” -James 5:16

I find it hard sometimes to simply type what goes on my mind sometimes. But at least one thing is for certain, most especially with this verse I’ve been reflecting on is this:

Praise God that He hears our every word, every thought. Without prayer, honestly just think to yourself, how could you live life without it?

Common Answer: I couldn’t imagine it. (Continues with non-existent daily prayer)

Its a nice reminder. I myself have a common daily prayer time. But I feel as if God is trying to tell us something ALL the time. So what’s next? The answer though simple, needs to be done now.

Replace ___________ with prayer.

Lord, I am listening. I offer my life to You, take over.

Cristi Crux Est Mea Lux

Testa’n

The sun is bright. You feel its rays slowly grazing your face. The birds are singing. You look ahead, into the horizon…you look down, your right foot hits the pavement, then your left foot, then your right, and then left, your right, your left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…

We’ve had beautiful weather this past week in Montreal. So I was compelled to run outside almost everyday. I’m no runner. But I was focused. So I did run every day. I ran…but every time I ran there was a painful pull on my hamstring…but as I looked up and continued to run I no longer felt the pain. I didn’t want to stop.

The Lord thought otherwise…

I only realized it on Saturday what God was trying to hint at me.
This was the day I did not run.
I wasn’t able to run because I went to Akwesasne with two other MV’s and CFC’s from Montreal.
We spent two hours siting in a car going there, we spent, an hour sitting at mass,
we spent another hour sitting and discussing with the youth about our upcoming events, and we spent another two hours driving back to Montreal.
I was sitting, I wasn’t running.

God gave me a sign.

He literally gave me a sign.
As we reached Akwesasne, I was hit by a large sign that I usually see on a daily basis, but never really noticed it as much…it was bright and red and it said:

Testa’n.

It was a stop sign in Mohawk.
I looked at it and I smiled.
Also because the Tito driving the car kept saying it every time we got to the sign (haha). We were heading to the church for Mass, and every time the Tito said “Testa’n!” I felt God repeatedly reminding me to ‘stop’. Most importantly the Lord was preparing my heart to stop everything before Him.

Then I flashed back to that moment I was running.
As I ran I felt that sharp pain in my hamstring, it diverted my attention to my leg, just like how that stop sign caught my attention and allowed me to stop.
He was calling me to rest and to look up.

I know that this upcoming month and half is going to be a busy and hectic one, with RYC prep, RYC, summer school, work, and a whole bunch of fun events and challenges…it’s easy to just go with the motions, going from one thing to another, like running from one leg to another. I am reminded that there is more to life than focusing on the motions,”right leg, left leg” but what we need to do is to pay close attention to the signs that God is trying to reveal to us. They do not need to be supernatural signs…but He reveals to us signs in our daily lives, whatever it may be.

And so I continue running…left, right, left, right, left, right…But this time I acknowledge the pain in my hamstring. I look up. Stop.
And all I see is the horizon.

Change of Heart

Going into World Great Adventure Tour I was very excited yet nervous of what the Lord wanted to reveal to me especially being away from people I’m use to being around. But I told myself to make the best out of it. Coming into WGAT I was the only sister from Pacific Region, although I knew or knew of most of the sisters attending WGAT I thought to myself, “I should be fine, plus I know how to make friends.” As WGAT started and few days passed by, I became very restless and continuously spoke to the Lord saying, “Lord I am so uncomfortable right now”. I was not only uncomfortable with the places we were living in but I was uncomfortable with the people I was surrounded with. I held onto my rosary scapular so tight asking Him to stay close by me during my trip. I felt that I put up a guard and I was fighting against it. During the ANCOP Immersion on day 7 of WGAT. The Lord called me out during our sisters household. As I was surrounded by these sisters of WGAT I knew the Lord was testing me. One of the questions for our sisters household was “What do you feel you need to change about yourself”. And right away I knew. I had these beautiful sisters who surrounded me by their grace and presence and I was there so guarded by the wounds of my past. Growing up I was always so hesitant of having too many girl friends because of the history I had with my best friends. Drama. Cattiness. I wanted to stay away from that and guard myself from getting hurt again. But the Lord spoke to me and said “My Child, I have gathered these beautiful woman from around the world, to experience My greatness with you. They are here to journey with you. So be not afraid, do not run away from your fears. Embrace Me. And you will be at rest”. When it was my turn to share what I wanted to change, I knew I had to speak what was hindering me from opening up to these sisters. I apologized to them for my distance and knew that the Lord was calling me to open myself up and trust in Him alone. My posture of surrender became my cross to carry, not alone, but to “lay my life for my sisters” as we all journey through this adventure. These sisters from WGAT are the sisters I’ve grown to love and cherish. Through every laugh, smile, and tear, the memories we share are truly blessings the Lord has placed upon me and He has allowed me to see His beauty through these sisters. An open heart and an open mind isn’t so bad after all! He calls us to simply trust and obey.

Deo Gratias

reflection block

I don’t know why but for this week’s blog (Friday, May 3), I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write or reflect for this reflection.

it’s funny because this week was a week filled with what I can say are blessings especially today: Friday, May 3, 2013
a very early morning chat hangout with an ateh (inspiring thoughts and ideas were shared),
having a one-on-one breakfast with another ateh (more inspiring thoughts and ideas were shared too),
spending the afternoon in the CFC office with an almost complete MV attendance (kinda), having an inspiring, love and laugh filled sisters’ household,
and finally ending the day with some BR bubble tea with the household (satisfying the month’s craving haha).
all these blessings and more.. how can I struggle to share them and share the Lord’s presence and story in them?

maybe I’m over thinking.. maybe be I’m looking for a specific reflection but I’m not really open to what the Lord exactly wants me to share.. maybe something is wrong with me.. ha! see I’m over thinking and looking into the situation again -_-

I pray and hope that as I continue on this journey of discernment and life, that I will learn to be sensitive to Spirit’s leading when it come to sharing the Lord’s message vocally or written (like this blog).
And that I won’t over think, have fear or stress over on how to share, what to share etc.

I don’t know if this reflection is making any sense or if it’s a reflection.. if it doesn’t and it’s not one.. sorry..
next week, hopefully it’ll be better po 🙂
God bless~

Lord, give me an involuntary muscle for praying

Everyday I still have to decide that I am going to read the bible and talk to God. It is still not automatic for me to reach that state of prayer where I can just focus immediately to the Lord, to talk and listen to Him.  Although there is already a pattern or routine or certain process that helps me to be one with Him, the very first step of deciding to pray is still an everyday decision to make.

I asked the Lord one time (since I always have a constant longing for Him) to make the act of prayer an output of an involuntary muscle. According to biology-online an involuntary muscle is a “type of muscle that is not consciously controlled by an organism and reacts ‘involuntarily’ to nerve system signals” I was thinking that it will be good for me if there is that muscle that will automatically tell my whole being to pray and I will be right away praying. In this way I will not miss a second of my prayer time, I don’t have to settle myself, I don’t have to stop what I am doing, I don’t have to think about it, and most of all I will not have to decide to pray coz it will just happen.

However in my prayer time, this is not the case. When things are involuntary we forget that we have it and sometimes forget how important it is. The Lord reminded me that being in a relationship is a personal experience. Everyday is a unique encounter of /with Him because everyday is a new revelation of Him. The everyday decision to pray is a decision to choose God everyday. He wants me to choose Him because He doesn’t enforce anything on me. It is only in this decision to pray that I am growing in my faith and act accordingly to glorify Him.

 

“Lord you are great and magnificent! You are full of wisdom and might. I thank you for waiting for me especially when I still have to decide to pray. Thank you for always listening to me and talking to me. Thank you for constantly revealing Yourself to me. Teach me Lord to be strong and firm enough to call on You when it is hard to pray. May I always consciously seek you everyday. Amen”

 

Candy (Philippians 1:29)