The light that leads

“If you haven’t surrendered it to God, then you’ve surrendered it to someone else.”

I recently attended the GTA Area Core SHouT this past weekend and there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the plethora of events that happened within those 5 days. So I’ll just use one: enlightened.

You know when you’re at a sleepover and everyone’s already passed out cold on the beds and floors. The morning after is hard to get through. You’re tired and exhausted. You have some sort of consciousness- awake but not really. It’s not until someone draws the blinds or curtains to expose the harsh sunlight rays that you feel the urgency to get up. It’s already half past noon and you’ve just wasted half the day away.

That’s how my recent experience with Christ was at SHouT. He turned on the lights. The light allowed me to see everything that was in that room, rather…my life. Enlightened- one’s ability to be spiritually aware. The Lord allowed me to see His plans for me that much clearer.

But see, when you turn on the lights EVERYTHING gets exposed, not just the good stuff. You don’t have a choice. But God is a god of light and peace- The truth, His truth is exposed in all its glory.

I’m facing the skeletons in my closet right now, some I thought I buried a long time ago but really just put a drape over. God’s light drew me to these areas, the crevices and corners, the edges and cracks. The small things count, because to God everything matters. As much as it hurts me to pull out long overdue band aids, I know that with His love I’ll finally be able to heal properly.

“Ate, it’s like when you make a paper boat and then you put it in the water. That’s how you’ll know if your boat is good or not. It might start to sink because of a hole, but all you have to do is just take it out and then patch up whatever holes exist.”

It had to happen this way for me. This was God’s way of telling me to patch up those holes so that my boat could float. How else can I be a better person or leader if I don’t allow God to shine His light on every single area of my life, even the dark sides- the ones I don’t want to look at. In this way, I can confidently go out and allow the God in me to shine.

Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.- Psalm 43:3

The Good Old Days

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.” – Andrew Bernard (AKA The Nard Dog)

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Last night a few of us Montrealers were hanging out at our sister MJ’s new place. It was a simple night of sitting around, eating chips, playing Jungle Speed and of course, Space Team. In His simplicity God chose to reveal something to me while we were hanging out, His message to me is that recently I’ve been blessed with a great many good days.

Some days, we might feel more blessed than others. God provides, but God also withholds at times in order for us to develop character. At least that’s what I like to believe.

If we’re in the good old days right now, God is asking us to appreciate it, to love it, to cherish it. Because when it comes time for us to suffer, when it comes time for us to experience desolation, God will ask us to remember the good old days so that we might realize how He has blessed us not necessarily in the present, but in our lives as a whole.

Our God loves us in an insanely great way, and just because we might not feel His love all the time doesn’t mean that His love for us isn’t timeless.

Cherish these good days.
Cherish the memory of them.
Cherish the good days to come.

– Jesse R.

To Die Is Gain

Self-mortification. Every time I’ve heard of this term in the past I would always think of people that physically hurt themselves and that’s it. I’ve learned that that’s just one form of self-mortification.

When temptation comes along, it starts as a simple thought—a suggestion. When we entertain that thought or suggestion, we start to use our imagination to delve deeper into it. Suddenly, we are committing sin and acting upon entertained thoughts. How important it is to cast the first slightest thought of temptation! If we don’t nip it when it starts, we put ourselves on a very dangerous path to spiritual death.

In the heat of temptation it is very hard to follow our intellect that tells us that what we are about to do is a sin and that it’s wrong. Our carnal cravings can easily get the best of us. Redemptive self-mortification is when we prefer to be crucified rather than sin. In the pinnacle of temptation, we truly suffer. We experience an ultimatum: commit sin or die to self. That dying to self entails great suffering. However, we must remember that the Lord always provides a way out of sin. We only need to rely on His grace. If we end up choosing to deny ourselves and to take up our cross, then we truly follow Jesus.

Temptations will never stop on this journey to holiness. This is why we need so much grace. If it were not for the grace of God, we are truly dead. Spiritually dead. God’s grace helps us to know His will and gives us the strength to follow Him and carry our cross.

When we die to self, we lose the fleeting pleasures of the world and the flesh, but what we gain is eternal life in Christ.

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” —Philippians 1:21

Come to the Feast

What is so beautiful about the Catholic faith to you?

Many times I find myself at home in the community of Couples for Christ. I find it in our assemblies, our meetings, in the early morning wake up calls to worship. But Couples for Christ isn’t my home. My home is in the Catholic Church.

There is a line in the song “Table of Plenty” that goes: Come and sit at my table, where saints and sinners are friends. I wait to welcome the lost and lonely, to share the cup of my love.

And that is what’s so beautiful to me. Everyday I am better and better for my God, but that just means that years ago I was a sucky person. But God loves me the same at my best as at my worst. When I falter and fail Him, He still loves me. He still welcomes me. He still wants me. Even if I’m a moody, antisocial guest in His house, He still invites me to His table. He still wants me to join in the feast.

Laudetur Jesus Christus. In aeternum.

Giving back to God

Mark 12:17

17 Then Jesus said to them, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.”

And they were amazed at him.

Our time, talent and treasure.  These are the things that truly belong to God.

Time?  Our family life revolves around the community.  Whenever we are asked to attend a personal gathering, we always check first if we have activities in the community.  We are called the “Habol” (“catch up” in Filipino) family because we would always say we would catch up to family and personal gatherings.  Our kids are very much involved in competitive soccer so scheduling is always a challenge.  But truly the Lord never fails, He is the great scheduler and everything falls into place like pieces of a puzzle.  In spite of our busy schedule, we do have time for the kids (family movie nights, dinner) and occasionally, I am able to sneak my wife out for a quick date (lunch at Subway or Tim Hortons, or a coffee at Starbucks).  But still, not all my time is devoted to the Lord, He deserves so much more.

Talent? I don’t really have a great talent.  I can sing a tune (and stay in tune) but I don’t really have the “American Idol” or “the Voice” talent.  But whatever limited talent I have, I give to Him.  My wife and I have been members of the Cluster Music Ministry for a number of years now.  It’s not an opportunity to perform for us but more of an opportunity to serve.  My wife loves to share what a priest once told her; that Jesus is tone deaf, there’s no verse in the Bible that says Jesus sang.  So God loves our singing (whether in tune or not) as long as we direct this to Him.

Treasure?  This is where I fail and struggle the most.  I do give tithes to the church and to the community.  I also have our child sponsorships (not really part of tithing) and donations to other religious organizations like Our Lady of Fatima Association (through the Heralds of the Gospel, God bless them).  But I know this is way way less than what God deserves.  God has never failed me and my family in all our needs.  Although we are only a one income family, He has allowed us to have a home, a van and allowed me to have a great job.  I do feel the call to fulltime missionary work but my biggest worry is how to provide for my family.  But hello, wake up, God always provides, He never fails!!

Father, thank You for all the blessings and the miracles You give us, both small and great, You are truly a loving God who gives to His children and more!  Teach me to give to You more, out of love for You, simply because You loved us first.

Porta Fidei

It is very easy to get caught up in the busyness of the community. In the difficulties of keeping up with the various responsibilities, I’ve asked myself these two questions:

“why do we need to have so many events?”

“if Mass is the highest form of worship, why not just replace every event with Mass and Eucharistic adoration?”

I am blessed to recognize the beauty of Mass and the Eucharist. I now have a personal longing and appreciation to participate in the Holy Sacrifice and to adore our Lord in the Eucharist. This was something that I know came over time and was a result of deepening my faith.

Then it hit me.

I realized that it was because of the community. A brother shared with me that when we talk about the door of faith (or porta fidei), we often focus on what is behind the door – an abundance of God’s goodness and love. However, it is the door that attracts us to the faith. The events that we have in our community simply invite us to dive deeper into our faith. The more attractive the door of faith is, the more people want to see what’s behind the door.

So if you’re ever like me, and you get tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed with serving the Lord, remember that each event we have in CFC-Youth is an opportunity to let someone experience the abundance of God’s goodness and love. Let’s strive for excellence in our service! Let’s make the faith as attractive as it deserves to be.

 

Cry in My Heart

Western MV Shout, Crescent Beach, June 1, 2013

“For to me, to live is Christ; and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21

With all the blessings from this past weekend, He has engraved in my heart one very simple yet resonating messaging:  As much as we cry out to the Lord, he cries out for us infinitely greater.  Though the humanity in us longs for a Lord to love us, we fail to see that Christ was never absent from our lives.  Quite the contrary, we were absent from His.  Life will always fail to be without the love of one who Is.  In realizing this Truth, the only response (and there is only one) is by giving ourselves in entirety.  Through our decrease, He will increase.  Through the laying down of our life, comes the resurrection of His.

Lord, let me come back to you.

Desiderio Domini