Prayer – True North Missionaries Journal

Abundantly Blessed

Each and every single day the Lord blesses us from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep. Reflecting on the Sunday Gospels these past couple of weeks there was a similar view in them — the Vineyard Parables. Where we see Jesus teaching about how what we give here on earth, we will be blessed in Heaven.

“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven” — Matthew 5:12

Giving is not only a matter of donating money, clothes, food. It’s also a matter of giving of our time, talent and treasure. The Lord has blessed us with so much and is giving us so much more each and every single day! Only through the Lord’s grace are we able to give and share our blessings which are meant to be shared amongst others. So if I were to sum it all up in one sentence — each and every single one of us are abundantly blessed to abundantly give so that others can do the same.

Lord, we praise You and thank You for all the blessings you have given to us. Let us not take it for granted in any way, shape or form but instead, let us share our blessings to others so that they too, can feel your abundant Love. We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Christian Medeiros

New Year…Simply Me

Looking back at my 2018, I can honestly say it’s been a great year, one that I haven’t had in a while. If you’ve read my previous blogs or heard me share in a household then you know the past couple of years were challenging to say the least. So what changed this year? Well first, I won’t say that this year didn’t come with its fair share of challenges and struggles. But perhaps what was different was my attitude and ultimately my trust in God. Continue reading New Year…Simply Me

Christ in Campus

I first and foremost want to honour YOU, anyone reading this who is in school. Whether it is high school or post-secondary, adult classes or continuing education, I honour you for taking on the pursuit to do and to be better. It is a privilege to have access to education, to have the freedom to choose what you want to study, and even to bare all the challenges that come with it.

At the end of August we had our Campus Fresh Party here in the Greater Toronto Area, the first official CFC-Y Campus Based event to kick off our new year (school year that is). I couldn’t help but take note of a few things. One, the start of a school year meant summer was coming to an end. It was a bittersweet feeling for someone who loves the heat and outdoor activities *cough, I really just mean swimming, cough*, but also loves Fall fashion and the comfy feeling of walking around outside in what feels like air-condition. Which led me to my second realization, the season of Fall is the season of change. Yes we will see the temperature drops, the changing of the colours on leaves, and the switch of promotions from citrus fruit and watermelons to apples, pumpkins and various forms of squash. Yet the Fall season also tends to bring an internal change to people. You yourself will start to see a transformation of who you are. Continue reading Christ in Campus

My Head and Heart Immersion

From October 5 – 10 I had the privilege of attending the “Theology of the Body (TOB) I: Head and Heart Immersion” course at the Black Rock Retreat Centre in Quarryville, Pennsylvania. It’s the first course of three that goes over the entire Theology of the Body that St. John Paul II wrote just before his pontificate, that he shared during 129 wednesday general audiences in Rome. Our instructor for the course, Christopher West, has spent more than a decade studying this theology and has dedicated his life to proclaiming its message to the world. One of the ways he does this is through the catechetical Theology of the Body Institute which he co-founded, and through his evangelization ministry, The Cor Project. The TOB I: Head and Heart Immersion course covers only half of the content of St. John Paul II’s original Theology of the Body documents. Though it covered only half, I feel like the impact it has made on me and my fellow classmates will last for a lifetime.

The atmosphere of the course is meant to be like a “classroom in a retreat.” Daily activities consisted of praying the Liturgy of the Hours, Holy Mass, Confession, adoration, meals, a couple of two hour sessions by Christopher West, and opportunities for Q & A and sharing our grace-filled experiences. The venue was located far from the city and hid delightfully within the woods. We were surrounded by nature trails and trees. Also, there was a wonderful lake (pictured above) that added to the retreat experience. Our “classroom” was actually a chapel because it contained the tabernacle with presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Yes, that’s right, we got to learn about TOB before the Blessed Sacrament. We spent nearly five hours per day in the presence of Jesus, soaking all He wanted us to learn and simply hear from Him. Our “classroom” and everything about the venue was awesomely conducive for reflection and immersion of the head and heart.

I had the pleasure of meeting many individuals from all across North America. My roommate, Bryan, is from Mystic, Connecticut and works at a Catholic retreat island! I also befriended many priests, religious brothers and sisters, fellow lay missionaries, youth ministers, mothers, fathers, YouTube musicians, a Lutheran pastor, and many others. There was about 90 of us. It was great to have met so many people in different walks of life. The diversity truly testified to the Truth of TOB and how it draws all peoples. We shared many experiences together and have vowed to say a prayer for each other every day. It’s amazing how I feel so connected to everyone and how assured I feel that we will all pray for each other.

The Lord spoke to us in many different ways but, of course, especially through Christopher as he taught us about the TOB. We were each given a course handbook that contains the entire outline of what was taught. Many of us were there to learn, but on the first day, Christopher lovingly and sternly told us that we shouldn’t be there to learn for the sake of teaching, but to listen for the sake of hearing the voice of the Lord and allowing Him to transform our hearts and speak to the very depths of our core. Heeding his advice, I put down my pen and opened my heart to the Lord. Emptied, He filled me. Vulnerable, He spoke in my nakedness.

I have returned feeling different. Renewed. Thirsting more. Loved.

There are many things I can say but at this time I’d like to share with you the main grace which I feel the Lord has given me. The Lord taught me how to pray. Now, more than ever, do I feel like the woman at the well. The words that have been reverberating in my heart have been “stay in the ache.” I’ve realized how easily I am not willing to stay in there—to stay thirsting and yearning for the Lord. I have settled too easily in satisfying that hunger in my heart with worldly lures and self-gratification. I haven’t truly had faith in the Gift of the Lord, but rather have grasped at fulfilling my own life. I have since learned to wait on the Lord, who truly loves me and will not leave me barren. At the story of the woman at the well, Jesus’ thirst preceded the woman’s thirst. Jesus asks me for a drink because He wants and thirsts for my love more than I for His. This is amazing. He asks me for a drink, then offers me to fill my well with water that will never run dry. He offers me a drink that would truly quench my thirst for every desire of my heart. Instead of trying to satisfy the ache on my own, I am inspired to stay in the ache and wait for the Lord. I want to long for Him, for prayer is nothing but making myself a longing for the Lord. Even if there are no words during the agony, I will make my longing and ache my prayer to my Lord Jesus Christ, the lover of my soul.

During adoration on the wednesday, I felt the Lord speak to me. This is what He said:

“In Your Ache”

Stay with Me in your ache
Let Me expand your heart
In your suff’ring and pain
I will never depart

You might feel I’m away
You might think that I’m gone
My child, I’m here to stay
I’ve been here all along

Don’t listen to the lie
That My Gift will not come
I’m yours and you are Mine
You always have My love

So long as you abide
So long as you don’t leave
Trust Me with your whole life
Persevere, and you’ll see

You will see Me in all
Your joy will be complete
If you just heed My call
In your ache–stay with Me

Amen.

Presence

In the past 1-2 months, my heart had been in some sort of ‘recovery mode’. A lot of damage had been done because I had been passive with specific blows some events had on me. I had been trying to “guard” myself from specific pains I was feeling, not knowing that I was actually just boxing them off and putting them aside, and I eventually realized I couldn’t do that anymore. After realizing this, I knew that the recovery would only come by opening my heart up to these hidden pains. I had to allow my heart to be vulnerable to the Lord again, but in a deeper sense… one that I had not even known nor could I explain it.

It’s been about 2 months, since I have been in some sort of “recovery mode”, and just when I was beginning to feel afraid that I could never recover, the Lord acted once more in His perfect timing, and He just knew He had to pull me out of the well I couldn’t get out of and bring me somewhere where He could make His presence in my life obvious for me. At the last minute – literally 24 hours before I had to go – God decided to send me to Philippines. When I was there, the Lord really put things in perspective for me. No matter what is happening, I have all the reasons to be grateful because presence, no matter what measure it is in, is in my life.

Presence is in my life.

Presence of family,
Presence of friends,
Presence of lasting and sincere relationships,
Presence of new relationships that come day by day,
Presence of the every day items that I may sometimes take for granted,
His Presence,
but also, the gift of the presence of mind…

Being so distracted a few months ago, I had not even realized how beautiful this is. BUT, if I wasn’t so distracted, I would have never been able to value this as much as I do now.

How many times have I prayed the Rosary, but somewhere in the middle, I took a quick glance at my phone for the time or sent a quick reply to a text? Or how many times have I prayed for grace before meals, but already held my spoon and fork in my hand, thinking about the food and not the prayer? How many times have I said “Thank You, Lord,” or “Praise God,” without actually acknowledging His Presence in what I had thought, said, or done in that moment? How many times have I TRULY ACKNOWLEDGED HIM?

When I prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy this time, I closed my eyes. But in the moment I opened them, I saw my phone light up with a text. Yet, instead of being eager to see what it was, I found myself more eager to close my eyes once again and continue. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt completely accomplished and complete. This is what I learned through what I had experienced:

Wholeness is not defined by how much you can do, but by how much you embrace something. Holiness is defined by how much you embrace Who you are embracing. And this wholeness and holiness is what determines how much you can do (because it is only with God, that all things are possible).

Presence, as much as it is a blessing, can also be more than a checklist of tangible or intangible things to be grateful for. By action, it is also a prayer. And this is what God was leading me towards. That prayer is not limited by the state and readiness of my heart, but is also made fruitful by my willingness to be and my willingness to act, recognizing first, the Lord. And by being able to bring that presence of mind, His Presence will always guide.

Lord, may I never lose sight of You.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us,

Amen.

Twin Hearts

Dearest Mother, teach me to abandon myself entirely and completely, with utmost faith, to your Son’s most Sacred Heart.
My sweet Jesus, lead and guide my sinful heart. Purify and transform it in union with your Mother’s most Immaculate Heart.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have Mercy on us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

Prayer is Boring

I once heard that prayer is boring because you didn’t make it about Jesus and you didn’t make it about others. After I heard that, I immediately realized how selfish I’ve been with my prayers and that’s one of the reasons why it was getting ‘boring’. Lent can also be understood in the same light because in essence, all that we do during lent should be a prayer, because prayer, fasting, and almsgiving are meant to lift our heart and mind to God. However, if we make lent about ourselves then it will be boring, disengaging, and will seem like a chore. In order for the season of Lent (and every season with the Lord) to be fruitful and not boring, it has to be about Jesus and it has to be about others.

Here are a few things I need to remind myself of during lent:

1. Make Jesus the centre of your prayer.

Begin with Jesus in mind and heart and not other things. Have a dialogue with Him and not a monologue with yourself. Speak to Him, listen to Him, and let Him have the first and last say. Spend time with Him as much as possible, especially literally in front of Him in the Blessed Sacrament. Encounter Him in the scriptures, family, friends, in every task, and most especially in Mass.

2. Remember the poor when fasting

Don’t make fasting about yourself. Don’t let it point your affections whether they be joy or suffering to yourself but let it be a reminder to suffer with the millions of poor people around the world. Let fasting be an opportunity to grow in your ability to be compassionate, in other words, to suffer with those who are suffering. Don’t eat that candy simply because you said you gave it up, but because you truly want to experience even the slightest mortification that is nothing compared to the suffering of those in great destitution.

3. Give alms to have a change of heart

Be generous with your time, talent, and treasure. Give concretely. Give until it hurts, then let that hurt purify and change your heart to become more like Jesus’ heart. Give because others truly need what you have to offer even if it’s as little as 25 cents. God doesn’t see what or how much you’re giving. He sees the heart. He sees if we are giving our heart. That’s why it has to hurt.

It’s really amazing how time flies in prayer when I’ve truly made it about Jesus and others. I would actually find that there’s not enough time to pray!

We have nothing to worry about for ourselves if we are putting Jesus and His kingdom first. His kingdom belongs to the poor and the meek, so the more we associate ourselves with them and prefer them, the closer we will be to the kingdom of Heaven.