Love – Page 4 – True North Missionaries Journal

I am absolutely in love with You

I have been reflecting a lot on how much I have grown throughout my years of being in CFC-Youth. And so far, it has been a blessed journey. I have definitely learnt more than I ever thought I could. Because of certain relationships and the people I have met, my journey has definitely been blessed all the more. From attending households, pastorals, shouts, conferences, to eating out after events and those late night drives going home, my days have definitely been filled with lots of love, joy and laughter. April 7-9 marks my 8 years of being in this beautiful community. Well, actually, it should be CO, but I actually do not remember when it was.

During these past two years, my desire to do something more for the Lord has definitely been increased. It was within these past two years in where I really took a step back and asked the Lord for His guidance. It was within these past two years in where I was able to see with the eyes of faith. And it was within these past two years in where I really started questioning my purpose in this community.

After coming back from my GAT trip in the Philippines back in 2012, and going straight to the Almighty Conference in Winnipeg, I took with me the questions that started my discernment to apply for the MV program. “What more can I do for the Lord?” And, “Why am I still in this community?” This was the year when the MV program was introduced to me. Or rather, it was when I really took notice of the MV program. The questions that ran through my mind were answered pretty quickly come conference time but, because of my doubts and fears, my heart quickly hardened to the thought of it.

The past two years have been filled with heartbreaks within my family, service, school, personal life and relationships. I guess you could say, in all aspects of my life (Haha!). Two years filled with heartbreaks but, nevertheless, the Lord was still so good throughout. It was also within these two years in where I saw how good and loving the Lord really was. I saw how He worked to make all of the good things in my life happen. But most especially, I saw the joy and fruits of my struggles and difficulties.

Throughout these past two years, the Lord continued to stir my heart in ways I never could have imagined. I once thought that the Lord never cared so much for what I had wanted. Soon enough, the more I asked for the Lord’s guidance, the more He showed interest in my desires. I found that, the more I accepted His will and the more I willingly suffered with Him, the more at peace I became. Slowly but surely I started desiring for what He had wanted for me.

Two years had passed and still, my desire to apply had still remained. Throughout these two years, my desire had been magnified and yet, I found more and more reasons to not apply. My weaknesses, doubts and fears had increased and my heart was hardened even more. The desire, the longing for the Lord and to just really know Him more intimately was still there though.

As I write this, I am happy and proud to say that I finally answered the Lord’s call and applied. Surely enough, the Lord accepted me with open arms. I am now a Mission Volunteer. Praise God!

The Lord really knew how to make His way into my heart. He affirmed and assured me that, as long as I continued to say yes to Him, He would take care of everything. My weaknesses, doubts and fears would not matter because at the end of every day, He was holding on to me.

Never have I been this sure of the Lord’s love for me until now. I start my 8th year in this community as a Mission Volunteer. That is pretty awesome :’). As I journey in the MV program and put aside all of my doubts and fears, I will continue to have faith, hope and trust in the Lord.

Jesus you have me completely
Every breath that I breath
I am absolutely in love
Jesus I am yours forever
All of me surrenders
I am absolutely in love with You

AMDG!

Crown of Creation

This past weekend I attended ‘Princess Diaries‘ that Toronto SFC hosted for all the sisters. I was excited to just be a participant and not have to worry about serving. But then a week before the event, Renee, the GTA West Head asked me if I could lead the Praisefest for Saturday night. And you know what happened that whole week before the event? PANIC.

I was so mentally drained from trying to figure out the dynamics of a worship, the order of the songs, the prayers that go before the songs, the appropriate songs, the transitions, and everything else in between. On Friday morning I reached some point of mental desperation and just exasperatedly told God that he really should have chosen someone else.

———————
To understand this more let’s look at the three desires planted in every woman’s heart:

a) the desire to be romanced
b) the desire to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure
c) the desire to unveil beauty

Those desires are often misunderstood which is why a lot of sisters end up broken. We turn to the wrong sources to fill the void. I myself sought those desires out in multiple people, ~~men~~ boys who had no other agenda other than to fulfill their own desires.

Fifteen minutes before the session ended (New Heartbeats) He granted me the grace and wisdom to finally see all the pieces come together. And when it finally sank in, I could not contain the peace, joy and love that was pouring out of my own heart!

He said,

“My dearest Therese. These desires are not something to be afraid of. Do not deny yourself these desires because each one will lead you closer to me. Do you not already know that every movement in your heart is known to me? I fashioned that very thing that beats inside of you. Unite it with my sacred heart and will understand better the plans I have for you, as woman.”

THE DESIRE TO BE ROMANCED, I placed in you so that you will come to me in Adoration. I will embrace every part of you in the silence. Come to me, and I will pour myself out to you. Do not be afraid to glance out at me for I long to look out at your face. Each time you come, the heavens rejoice. This is where you belong, this is where you are meant to be- here with me. My beloved I have waited for you and you are finally here! Have FAITH that I am here.

THE DESIRE TO PLAY AN IRREPLACEABLE ROLE, I placed in you so that you will come to the House of Worship and receive me in the Holy Eucharist. Come to me exactly as you are. You say to me, Lord but I am broken, battered, shattered. And His reply: “But I NEED YOU. YES, YOU.” From the moment you receive me on your tongue you become the ultimate living tabernacle and you are NO longer broken, battered, shattered. I pour out my Holy Spirit within you, and my love which is far more precious than gold will bind you back together. There will always be HOPE.

THE DESIRE TO UNVEIL BEAUTY, I placed in you so that you will come to me in Confession. No sin you’ve committed, no sin that you are committing, no sin that you will commit can ever be too much for my cross. Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who humbles herself and acknowledges her weaknesses and limitations. All those layers you choose to hide behind, the masks you choose to wear around you will all be washed away. In every single instance, you come out as clean and pure just as I intended for you to be. I meet you with nothing but LOVE.

Wow. Praise the Lord. I could not contain myself in that tiny little seat. The Lord fulfilled ALL THOSE DESIRES in me within the past 24hrs! He granted me my trinity run; Adoration at Our Lady of Lourdes the night before, Confession before the last session, and Eucharist shortly after. The Lord loved me so much that He made straight my paths right before I stood before my sisters with a heart that was now READY AND WILLING.

“You, eternal trinity, are a deep sea. The more I enter you, the more I discover, and the more I discover, the more I seek you.”- St. Catherine of Siena

Amen.

Today is for Everyone

Every Valentine’s Day, I always have this misconception that it is just for couples – married, engaged, any couple who are in a relationship. Because I am not seeing anyone, for a moment I thought this day is insignificant for me. Then in my prayer time I was brought to a reflection that Valentine’s Day is not just about people who can give love to each other, it is also about giving love even when it is not reciprocated. It is not just about how much love we can receive but how much love we can also give. It is not just about going to the people we love but also going back to the source of love.

A lot of things already happened today, may I end my day with love to the who is love.

“Lord you are Love. You are great and powerful. You are immeasurable yet you desire to reside at the very core of my being. May unlock and open heart for you.”

Fries

Crispy, salty, yummy, oily, fatty, carbohydrate-filled, cannot-stop-yourself-from-eating-it fries. Whether it be shared or eaten alone, we all suddenly get the craving to get these fries.

: This.

Why? Not because of the potatoes for sure, though it helps. We get potatoes in different varieties, but there is something with McDonald’s Fries. Well to cut the story short, it’s the right amount of SALT.

You are like salt for the whole human race. – Matthew 5:13

We should be like SALT.

Savoury

Have you ever tried any kind of food without or lacking in salt? You wanna spit it out as soon as you can right? Too much of it and you’ll stop eating.

Our faith, if lived out, makes others crave for more. It is not bland nor does it shoo people away.

Are we boring that no one dares to try it? Or too strong that people are put off by it?

: You know you want more

Amor

My best memories of hanging out at Mickey Dee’s were always with friends surrounding a pile of french fries and devouring them. It was not only a cheap way of feeding everybody but it was an experience rich in love. And that is what Amor is, love in Italian.

What is God’s love if not shared?

: Sharing is caring.

Life Giving

Salt gives life to your boring potatoes. Our lives should give hope to everyone we meet. We are beacons of hope in a world full of pain, suffering and at times monotony.

Are we a source of hope or despair? Is our testimony uplifting or scaring the heck out of everyone?

: Because life is full of twists and turns.

Thirst

Salt makes us thirsty, that’s why your large cup of pop doesn’t really cut it after consuming a bag of fries. If we live our lives filled with faith, hope, and love, it causes people to seek the One who gives us true life – Jesus. Our saltiness doesn’t highlight us, but the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Do our lives point to Jesus or to us?

: Not enough.

Faith, Hope, and Love makes our lives truly salty and it makes others thirst for Christ.

Stay salty my friends.

May we be the salt of the earth. Amen.

PS. I am not endorsing the Golden Arches, but if they want to sponsor me – that’s okay too.

PPS. This reflection was inspired by the homily of my parish priest at Merciful Redeemer, Fr. Robert, last Sunday on Matthew 5:13-16.

This blog is also hosted on my personal blog http://www.kevinmuico.com/2014/02/10/fries/

Flappybird

Yeah, that pixelated bird that can’t even flap properly.

: This.

Initially I thought it would be about getting the bird into the pipes, you know like Mario. Well because the pipes look exactly like Mario. Only to find out that the point of the game was to get the bird across without hitting the pipes. Lo and behold, you’ve got one of the most addicting games ever.

While playing the game (or gamessssszzzzsssss based on the unfortunate reality that you’ll have to play it several times before you top your previous score) I had this epiphany of sorts.

Flappybird is like our relationship with God!

Yep it is.

Here are my reasons:

1. Only through God’s grace are we able to fly. If not, we drop.

: Nosedive

2. His timing is perfect. Perfectly timed taps of grace that allows us to go through the obstacles of life called pipes. Which explains why at times we need to fall in order for us to rise.

: Even when it seems impossible

3. During the times we cease to open our wings to God’s much needed grace and we crash into a pipe, the Lord still chooses to play the game again not out of an addiction – but out of pure love that He wants to see us through.

: You know He’s gonna hit the play button again.

While the analogy is lacking, the Lord loves in a crazier, bigger, unconditional way. He keeps on loving, even when it doesn’t make sense anymore. I thank God that He is God and not me, because I would’ve quit a long time ago.

Lord, I know I don’t see the bigger picture but I trust that You are always there to raise me or allow me to fall when needed. Give me faith to trust when I can’t see past the obstacles before me. Give me hope that everything will be alright. Amen.

PS. My latest top score is 35. I don’t know how you guys get a 100.

PPS. This blog is also posted on my personal blog at http://www.kevinmuico.com/2014/02/07/flappybird/

4/52 : Growing Pains

When we were younger our bodies changed quickly to accommodate our growth. Our parents and peers often told us to ‘grow up’ especially if we weren’t keeping up with our responsibilities or with the mental awareness deemed ‘fitting’ for our age. Many times in our lives and through a various number of ways, we got pushed to grow.

But there are those times, where we don’t want to grow. Of course we don’t want to; we’ve finally found our groove. We know how things work and we’re fine with it. We are comfortable and content. We’ve found our comfort zone and refuse to deal with the discomfort we’d inevitably feel going past that.

But growth has a lot of positives! Growth forces you to learn from your mistakes. Growth challenges you to react differently, to see if you are capable of whatever it is that you’re attempting. Growth also allows you to shed your old self and your old life so that you are better able to embrace the newness of this new life.

More often than not, our Lord is behind these growing pains. He allows for situations to happen in our lives so that we may learn lessons through them. But He’s not just a teacher, He’s also our friend, willing to go through the growing pains with us! He draws us near so that we may learn His voice and then He allows for silence so that we can learn to listen. Yes, growth is hard but sometimes the best stuff, the best life is just outside of our comfort zone!

Thank you Lord for this never ending journey filled with growth and love. Thank you for being patient with me and for pushing me to grow; grow closer to you and grow more in love with your people.

The Rhythm of Life

”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” - Pope Pius XII — ”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” – Pope Pius XII

Love is a fermented wine, in which only time can sweeten.

Why is it that in the most endearing love stories, we are given images of elderly couples madly in love with one another? We see it in many notable movies and television shows. The best example I could come up with is probably the Notebook, where an elderly Noah or “Duke”, chooses to be loyal to the love of his life, Allie, even when her sickness causes her to forget the very man she loved. The message of that movie was loud and clear. Love is patience. Love perseveres. Love is prevailing. We can conclude that, simply, with time, love becomes more genuine. It becomes more true. More sincere. It becomes more real.

In this community, we are introduced to a very important truth: real love waits. Now as much as this conviction has been associated with chastity, it is also very important to realize the deeper (yet simpler) meaning of this conviction. Waiting does not mean we only seek fulfillment after the fact. It means that we remain hopeful throughout. It means that in our waiting, we are sanctified. Holiness is not simply a means to an end, but a constant reacquainting with the Lord on our journey. There is beauty in the wait. It is the reason why flowers take time to bloom. It is the reason why the sun rises gradually and majestically every morning. It is why the clouds in the sky above soar past us calmly and almost unknowingly. Similarly for us, there is beauty in the wait, and it comes in the form of virtue.

I firmly believe that throughout my life, I have been blessed with a rather unique (and by all means undeserved) grace. That is, the grace of “waiting”. As a child I remember always having to wait for my turn, being the youngest of my siblings and cousins. It never really bothered me, but in retrospect, I think it led to my ability to patiently put other’s needs before mine. Mind you, I’m not perfect, but I definitely think God blessed me with patience – of myself, of others and of God’s will. I know I owe a lot of patience to my family. Every day they teach me to be patient. Specifically, in having a sister with down syndrome, it’s particularly rewarding when I know that in loving her unconditionally God teaches me subtle lessons of virtue.

It does not surprise me that in leading a life dedicated to growing in patience and virtue, I have fallen in love with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, that which is most virtuous and extraordinarily patient. Thankfully she has given to us a very cherished gift: The Most Holy Rosary. It is in the rosary we learn to imitate her life – specifically, her love for Jesus.

The rosary is such a beautiful prayer. As you probably know, praying it really takes time and effort. During those long days of work or school it really gets difficult because of its constant repetition. You can even go as far to say that praying it regularly often gets monotonous.

St. Josemaria Escriva passionately wrote,

“Blessed be that monotony of Hail Marys which purifies the monotony of your sins!”

I believe that the Rosary is a beautiful example of how we must approach every circumstance of our living. A brother once told me that, “the beads of the Rosary is the rhythm of life.” They don’t merely represent the rhythm of life. They ARE the rhythm of life. Every breath has its meaning, just as every bead has its significance. Often times life can become monotonous. But what I learned in praying the Rosary was that, somewhere hidden in the repetition and in the waiting, there is a beauty that is unveiled in its mystery. The Mysteries of the Holy Rosary are the beautiful moments of God’s glory that we yearn for as time passes. Those 10 Hail Mary’s are enlivened and monotony is diminished when we encounter Jesus Christ in the Mysteries. Similar to that, we must learn to exact heavenly bliss from monotony in our very lives, only then will we truly and intimately know the secret to Mother Mary’s love for her son.

With every breath I am reminded of the sweetness of waiting, not because I inch towards a destination, but because in breathing I am reminded of a God who has given me life. I am reminded of a God who loves me in ways I don’t deserve. A God whom I yearn to love more and more each day, with every Hail Mary, and every passing bead. A God who, with every answered and unanswered prayer, affirms me that though I have failed countless times in waiting for Him, He has revealed to me in eternity that real love waits.

“Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun.” – Eclessiastes 11:7