True North Missionaries Journal

“..a veil lies over their hearts, but whenever a person turns to the Lord the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. All of us, gazing with unveiled faced on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.” – 2 Corinthians 4:15-18

For the past few weeks I have been dealing with an allergic reaction on my face. I have been suffering with rashes, burns, redness, and dry skin. Suffering to point when even laughing hurts my face. I visited the doctor to see what happened and why this was happening to me. They prescribed me a cream which enable more of a reaction because I was allergic. Other than physically hurting I was starting to hurt emotionally because I didn’t know what was wrong. I started to question my worth, my beauty and because of this allergic reaction I stopped wearing makeup and I started to feel insecure about my bare skin.

After a few days of dealing with this reaction I asked myself, why am I so affected by this? Why do I care so much about what other people think or what I look like?

How fitting it was that I was attending the SFC Princess Diaries Woman’s Retreat that same weekend. Not a coincidence at all. God moved my heart so personally. He reminded me of my worth, my beauty as a woman, and more importantly that I am loved. After reflecting on my weekend with my SFC sisters I asked myself:

Who am I when I am stripped of what I am comfortable with?

Who am I when I am stripped of my worldly possessions?

Who am I when I become blinded and distracted from the lies society tells us about beauty?

Who am I?

I have been reminded that I should not cling onto the things of this world. That I am made worthy for greater things and that I am called to let go of the desires and possessions I settle for and should cling on to the plans and desires that the Lord has entrusted me. So when I ask myself “Who am I?”:

I am reminded from this community that because I was created by God, I am loved.

I am reminded that I should never settle for less because I am His daughter.

I am beautiful because I am made in the image and likeness of God.

 

Unveil the mystery of God’s beauty through recognizing the beauty within ourselves. 

 

You are beautiful and you are loved.

Amen.

This has song has been on repeat for me this past week.

The Lord really knows my heart and He speaks to me through music as some of you who read this may know. (I really enjoy house music.)

So far I’ve seen this song as a really chill house song, but also a song for us discerning MVs or anybody discerning a certain way of life. So I’m going to try and break this song down and share with you how I have reflected with it.

We’re a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as You are with me, there’s no place I’d rather be
I would wait forever, exalted in the scene
As long as I am with You, my heart continues to beat

As a missionary you can be sent so far from home. Even when you live in the city you grew up in rather than living in a city that you never thought you would be sent to, I think that you can still live so “far” from home because of all the things that a missionary is called to do. Looking at the Full Time Pastoral Workers here in Canada as an example, the majority of our full-timers are in a city that is far from the place they’ve grown up. But I bet that all missionaries can agree with this statement. “As long as You are with me, there’s no place I’d rather be.”  

Right now as an MV I am discerning to be a Full-Time Pastoral Worker, meaning that I need to patiently, not necessarily forever. As I am exalted in the scene I will continue serving the Lord in the way he calls me. As a CFC-Youth MV “as long as I am with (Him), my heart continues to beat.”

With every step we take, Kyoto to The Bay
Strolling so casually
We’re different and the same, get you another name
Switch up the batteries

The Lord is with us in every step we take, from one end of the earth to the other end. (Kyoto is in Japan and The Bay may refer to The Bay in Los Angeles California.) I don’t see my self strolling so casually, but I see the Lord walking with us wherever He sends us. To say that we are different and the same can have truth behind it.  We can never be the same as Jesus, but we are definitely called to live like Him. As God’s children doesn’t that mean we are in some way called to be ‘Christ’s’ to others. Isn’t this our vision for CFC-Youth? “Being and bringing Christ wherever we are.” “We’re different and the same,” we all have other names but as we encounter God all so very differently. In this way He does “switch up the batteries.” 

If you gave me a chance I would take it
It’s a shot in the dark but I’ll make it
Know with all of your heart, you can’t shake me
When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be

I see these next few lines as a dialogue between myself and the Lord. If You gave me a chance, Lord I would take it. This is not necessarily for just a call to be a FTPW but in every day when we see God. Even when we fail to see God “it’s a shot in the dark, but I’ll make it” because the Lord is there.

The Lord then responds saying “Know with all of your heart, you can’t shake me,” because just as much as I am in the pursuit of love, the Lord is in pursuit of me and He does not quit. And of course I respond to the Lord just simply acknowledging that “when I am with You, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

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For some of you this kind of reflection may be weird, but for anyone reading this I suggest that you to try to see what the Lord is telling you with the next verse of this song. Maybe this can be your prayer with the Lord.

We staked out on a mission to find our inner peace
Make it everlasting so nothing’s incomplete
It’s easy being with you, sacred simplicity
As long as we’re together, there’s no place I’d rather be.

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I am definitely incomplete with the Lord, for the peace I am searching for is God within me and those who I encounter everyday. Listening to songs like this really enhances my relationship with the Lord because it is something I believe I share with the Lord. When we share things with the people we love don’t we just have a better relationship with them. I’m happy that the Lord showed me this song. I firmly believe that he knows what I enjoy and this song was a gift from Him so that I can share with you what I enjoy.

I strongly believe that by sharing things that we enjoy in life, and the pains we endure in life, will strengthen the relationship you have with the Lord.

The Lord wants to be in relationship with you, He just invites you to share your life Him. And in this we will truly find that “as long as we’re together, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

And with that, may the Lord be forever praised!

“Your success is the measure of My Will and Mind that you have revealed to those around you. Your success is the measure of My Will that those around you have seen worked out in your lives.”

With a little less than a month left here, many of couldn’t help but feel like there simply isn’t enough time. We’ve had to reschedule, cancel, and change the dynamics of some of our days due to an unanticipated addition of other events that we didn’t expect would be added to our schedule. In the midst of all the worries, I was brought to this page in the book, “God Calling”.

Sometimes, even as missionaries, we don’t notice ourselves tilting the balance. Yes, there are so many things to do and it is so easy to forget that our plans were never ours in the first place.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
‘For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and return not thither but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater”
(Isaiah 55: 8-10)

In these times, I’ve realized that it is not so much about the output sometimes as it is about our conduct. Even in stress, disorder, and disaster, how much do we exemplify the love of God? How much greater do we really prove God to be in our lives? Though we may be caught in a mindset where we think that much is expected of us (no matter how true or false it may be), often times we must humbly bring ourselves back to the basics… above all, we are called to be a vessel of Christ’s transforming love first. And when we begin with this, His love leads us to where there is rest… free of doubt, free of hatred, free of jealousy, free of anger… just simply a dwelling place of Love. Beyond trainings, events, teachings and all other modules, I believe that it is important that when we are sent somewhere, the first mission is to always bring Christ to others, and all else will follow.

#LoveMore

 

This weekend has been such a blessing to add to my mission volunteer life. This Discovery Camp has been so different then the once I have served and participated in. And the phrase I always say to my fellow leaders or members when they say I don’t to goto event because I have been to that one already. And I understand some of us been to the major events multiple times. But this is what I say to the person… Every event is different because it is different speakers and different service team. Meaning that all the experience and life sharing will be different. Meaning there is always new to learn.

I can say with such a open heart that this happen to me this weekend. Even know I was running around doing Team Servant responsibility and also being workshop head at the same. I have learned so much about myself and things that I have pushed away with out noticing. But truly I have realize have been offering every thing to our Lord. Even if it is small… My mind is always reminding me why don’t I have service role but I know this will always haunt me and bug me. That just means I need to start to offer every little task and every little service to our Lord.

 

Even the little things should be fully offered up to God like any other big service. Do it full hearted and with as much love as I can

This weekend I was able to participate with the Pacific West Cluster core in our Leaders Enrichment Retreat. I was simply filled more than I could ever understand with the Lord’s love.

Simply put, this reflection is to just appreciate our Households. 

A little bit of background story, I’ve been serving the Pacific East Cluster for almost all of my time in CFC-Youth. The chapters were close by in location, I almost knew everyone that had walked in and out of our events, and the love I felt within my households in the East were definitely an affirmation of me to stay serving in this community with people I have journeyed with even before joining CFC-Youth or being active in letting the Lord work in my life. 

All was good and amazing…then I was asked to serve the Pacific West as a Chapter head. I was definitely hit with the humble hammer. 

As far as I could remember, the West had been struggling…location wise, it was difficult for the chapters to share as a cluster due to a chapter being on an island or having to only take the highways etc etc…and on top of that…

I had no idea who any of these individuals I’d be serving with were..Unlike my journey in the East, I had no idea what their stories were or conversions or even what makes them joyful…and it showed in our cluster cores first half year of serving together. 

Now, fast forward to this past weekend. I really can’t describe what happened here. But all I do know is that it was only of the Lord that can work in such a beautiful way. Praise God for our events like these. Praise God for our households.

This weekend, the Lord affirmed us of our calling as chosen servants. 

We are all so different. Coming from different walks of life. Some of us even recently moving from another Country…yet the Lord made a way to hand pick us and bring us together for a joy we thought we’d never experience not as just friends..but something greater than that..as loving brothers and sisters in Christ. 

I really reflected on each household I’ve ever had, and each individual that Christ has put into my life to journey with…its special. Each time we meet up, its an opportunity to encounter the Lord.

And this weekend…I encountered the Lord in a way where no one thought it was possible due to all of us just being so different and not knowing much about each other.

But praise God for humble hearts.

So whats the point to this reflection?

Love your household. Sure, we may see it as a monthly, weekly thing we attend…but imagine the blessings, experiences, etc etc that we are able to obtain from the Lord in getting to love Him through them. 

I learned a great lesson this weekend about our community and about the Lord.

He can do anything. He can bring anyone together and allow us to understand that universal language of love. No matter how different. Praise God for CFC-Youth. Praise God for our Households. Thank You Lord…I am forever thankful.

Deo Gloria.

I have come to realize that when you commit yourself to someone, you’re saying more than just “I do”. As complete as that sentence already is, there are four other words that are actually attached to it-

…and I will choose to be more understanding in difficulties, trials and hardships.
..and I will choose to be patient knowing that you are completely different from who and how I am.
…and I will choose to remain faithful even if all I feel like doing is packing up and leaving.
…and I will choose to love you, every part of you, with every part of me because that’s what I said I would do.

When we say Yes to our significant others, these are the silent promises that flow out of the fullness of our hearts. In the same way every time we say Yes to God, these vows should echo from the rawest parts of us.

The past two months have been challenging service wise, dry even. Out of the two years I’ve been back since my “dark-age-inactivity” 2014 has really been the year that’s stretched me to my limits. But despite all of this, I know that I am called to remain faithful to my God. I know that He has always, always, always been good to me even if I don’t realize it.

Faith takes God without any ‘If’s’ – D.L. Moody

I have made sure to work hard for my sacramental life to stay stay consistent. I’ve made sure that I continue to have my prayer time and coffee dates with the Lord. I wrote down all the ways the Lord fulfilled His promises to me since my “Soul Search” in 2012 and it reminds me that God heard, hears, and will continue to hear every single cry of my heart.

“I will not in any way fail you note give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down! Assuredly not!” – Hebrews 13:5

God works in His own time. His ways are definitely not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I will remain confident in Him, I will continue to trust in His mightiness and goodness, and I will stay committed. He gave us the gift that is the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, so maybe the call for me is to keep working diligently with making my body a temple so that He can continue to dwell and work within me.

The Lord loves me too much to abandon me now- precious, divine, His. His love letter can never be unwritten.

“I plead with you- never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.” – St. John Paul II

When we say someone is our brother or sister in Christ we celebrate the fact that through Jesus we are saved. However, we seldom think about the other side of the coin.

The fact that we need saving means that we are sinners and as brothers and sisters in Christ we all have sin. We have our brokenness and we easily fall into sin.

I think the fact that we are sinners and are saved is a calling for us to Love one another. A realization that not one of us is better than the other, to share in the goodness and the redemption that God brings, to share in the good times and the bad times. Is that not Love?

I believe that God makes all things beautiful even our brokenness. In saying that someone is you brother or sister in Christ is not only affirming the good in them, but also acknowledging and understanding our shared fallen nature. In doing this we come to appreciate and Love each other more.

Truly we are all the same, in need of grace, in need of mercy.