True North Missionaries Journal

(June 27, 2016). This weekend attended an east chapter camp, called Camp Fearless. We were blessed to welcome 8 new participants in our beautiful community. Although it wasn’t the usual number of participants, especially for the east chapter, the Lord wanted us to experience Him in a very intimate way.

Along with the many blessings and victories that the Lord has given us this weekend, one of my highlights would be the service team. The fearlessness in them and the complete trust in the Lord is truly inspiring. A lot of the youth from the team are new to the community and many of them joined a few camps ago. Not to mention they also recently migrated here from the Philippines. Language was the biggest hindrance for the team but still, they trust in the Lord and fully committed their YES to him. I honour the service team for being so fearless and for inspiring me to trust in Him always.

My reflection after this camp is simple. When God calls you to serve him, he really wants all of you. All you need to do is trust in Him. Completely.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a witness of your love through this camp. May you continue to guide and strengthen the youth in the east chapter and may you send your Holy Spirit upon all of us. Amen.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full admit of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 
 Ephesians 6: 10-11

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”
– St. Francis de Sales

Throughout the CFC Singles For Christ True North Conference in Niagara Falls, ON I was hearing so many great and beautiful things, and being reminded of several truths that I had forgotten were so dear to me. I was feeling so thankful that God was making it so easy for me to accept many of these things, especially since it wasn’t always like that.

I was receiving so much from God that I needed to ask God over and over again, “What is your main message to me? What is it that you want me to really internalize?” It took a couple of days for me to understand, but God made it so clear.

At the conclusion of one of the worships, the worship leader said, “Evaluate your heart.” Instantly my heart and mind were open. Everything made sense with this simple message: I needed to really make the effort to evaluate the state of my heart, to really know where it stands in terms of my relationship with the Lord and with others. And even with myself.

Am I really doing and being my best in the situations and circumstances that I’ve been placed in? When times get tough, do I worry first or do I cling fast to the Lord? Do I really trust Him and His plan for me, or do I just say that I do?

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Today I was hit with the news that I will no longer have a job next month because I’ve been laid off. For anyone who knows me, they know I work for the Archdiocese of Edmonton in their Communications Department, as the Marketing and Advertising Representative for the Western Catholic Reporter, which is an archdiocesan newspaper. I was signed for a one-year contract until April, but even that contract has been halted given the archbishop’s new vision and direction for the Communications Department.  (Click here for more information).

I have no idea what’s to come or how I’m supposed to pay off bills and what not, but although it is a struggle for me to remain calm, I’m thankful that God keeps reminding me of His faithfulness. He is everywhere I go.

“Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.”
-St. Patrick

I’m thankful for the opportunity that I’ve been given to serve my archdiocese in this way, but moreover, I’m thankful to my God for blessing me with remarkable coworkers, who have inspired me to love and serve God more than I do now. I have met so many talented people through this job and have developed some relationships that I know will bless me beyond this point.

It is a little tricky figuring out how to move forward, but I have decided to try to rejoice in the Lord always and to trust in the Lord always, even if it means that I fail multiple times haha. God has always been so faithful to me and the least I can do is try to be faithful to Him by truly evaluating my heart each moment of the day, especially when life can seem and actually be so unpredictable. But it is in times like these that I can be happy and joyful because I get to think of God more. I have the sweet luxury of remembering His love for me.

Truly there is much to be excited for! God is everywhere I go. I am never alone. He is taking me on another adventure filled with more surprises than the last.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:4-7

Ad majorem Dei gloriam.

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I ask anyone who reads this to please keep the Archdiocese of Edmonton and all those who work in the Western Catholic Reporter in your prayers. May we all feel the presence of God during this time. May we rejoice in God’s great love for us all! Thank you. <3

I once wondered why there were no (or very sparse, if any) teachings in Youth for Christ (YFC) about romantic love, relationships, Theology of the Body, etc. The answer at the time didn’t do it for me: young people are not supposed to prioritize a relationship. Through my many one-on-ones and just simply seeing how the youth of today are, it was evident that whether we supported relationships or not, they were bound to happen, and why not better equip them as they face the inevitable?

But now, just having passed my mid-twenties, I can truly say that being single was the best gift I could have given myself. Wait no, it was one of the best gifts God could have given me, and it was a blessing that I was able to recognize this when I did. To be completely content on your own, you are more able to grow in love. Period. In love for yourself, in love for others, in love with new hobbies, in love for service, and most of all, in love with God. It sounds incredibly cliché, I know… But the period of being single gives your heart a different sort of freedom, and you are more able to stretch towards the sun and grow. You will build a foundation for yourself so that when you do find that person, at the right time, you can honestly say that your happiness will never depend on them. That your happiness had never depended on a blank space next to your name, filled in by whoever gave you butterflies in that moment.

The time you are single is a gift, and this isn’t coming from someone who is disillusioned and never felt the pangs of young love. Of course I did, but I also know that when I did, I was unprepared and in the end, spent much more time licking my wounds. When you’re in that state, it’s really hard to honestly say that you’re looking outwards at the world with a heart full of love.

Being in a relationship now, I am more able to say (to my – I really don’t want to say “boyfriend” because really, he’s so much more than that, and God’s gift sounds too cheesy for me, but yeah, him) that I spent my time, living fully, loving God, accepting myself… and that when he had asked to court me, I knew deep inside, that there were no wounds that needed healing, no fragments of my heart that he would be helping glue back together. And this. This is the state you need to be in in order to grow. There were no roots still in the soil that needed uprooting; I had tended and weeded and made sure to layer compost… you get it. Our hearts were in the state they needed to be.

It is because of this that I can call him my other whole. I told him a few weeks back that I will never need him to complete me; that’s God’s job. I came to him a complete person. And how much more romantic is it to be able to tell someone that, in our wholeness we love them? Not out of dependence, or as a needed distraction, or because of momentary happiness, attraction or excitement. It is my prayer that we can all continue to ask our Beloved Mother to guide our hearts so that we may seek to be filled with His love alone. It is in this way that we can truly magnify He who loves us best.

God bless you!

 

 

A few weeks ago I mentioned nurturing and protecting one’s vocation but didn’t go into detail about it. I’ve been thinking about this topic lately, as good friend of mine is leaving in a few days to enter into a religious congregation. A few common friends had shocked reactions to her news, as they didn’t know her well. I reflected upon my friendship with her in the last five years and the steps she’s taken towards her vocation.

In the last two years she became proactive in her vocation discernment. At first she was sure of missionary life but in turn, found it was the religious life that called to her. She took steps to deepen her faith through scripture, mass and prayer. She sought out Jesus daily and would explore different congregations that appealed to her. Often I would follow up and ask her discernment was going and her reply was that she prayed ‘she would desire what God desired for her’. The deeper she would go into her faith, the easier her discernment was. I also noticed the peace and softness that began to take place over the months, until I saw her expression of pure joy when she talked about her relationship with God. She pursed this calling and nurtured it consistently.

Vocations do not always fall into a person’s lap. Certainty often comes from long hours of prayer, devotion and discernment. The active pursuit of her vocation reminded me that I needed to continue to nurture and pursue my own. If we are not proactive, then we become stale and stuck. We can only grow when we become decisive and start making steps towards the fulfillment of God’s plan for us.

For those wondering, this was taken in the Philippines (St. Pio Chapel)  on my last full day after living there for 3 months in training to become a Full Time Pastoral Worker! (Beautiful right?!!)

I remember this exact moment that I took this picture. I remember who I was with. I remember the exact feeling of walking through this small exit.

This journey that I am in, the places I’ve been able to see, the experiences I’ve been able to live through, was all an answer to the very prayers I’ve had to simply want to become holier and closer to the Lord.

It’s the same for everyone. That when we experience life, not just the good things but even when we experience what seems the hardest of situations, it is a reminder that it all started with our own individual prayers.

The journey we are in is a reminder of our own personal questions, desires but most especially an outcome of simply wanting to seek the Lord…and it all started when we first desired to know Him more, to find Him more in our daily life…

Rest assure that the journey you are in is leading you to our home in heaven..and in that journey we are connected, we are comforted, we are guided through prayer. 

The map of our journey’s slowly unfold, we can get glimpses of home the more we communicate to the One that is guiding us. 

Please pray for me. My journey as a missionary, a servant, a brother, a man. My journey is slowly unfolding. I am finding a path in my journey that is to be shared.

Deo Gloria

Thank You Lord for Your unlimited mercy, grace and love. I haven’t done half of the work that You’ve given back to me in blessings. I am reminded that when I receive all these graces or even in tough situations, when I bring it back to You, I am humbled by Your victory on the cross and am assured that this is all one step closer to You. Thank You for everyone that has been praying for me, praying with me. Allow me Lord to be a selfless prayer warrior on this journey. 

 

Monday, August 15, 2016

Today is my last day as the Sister Area Head for CFC-Youth Edmonton. It is also my last day being a CFC-Youth member now that I don’t have a service role in the CFC-Youth Edmonton Core Group. It’s true — I’m still a Mission Volunteer and I still get the opportunity to attend SHOUT and other events, but wow, how different my life is going to be in the next month!

I’ll no longer be leading PFTs, sister households, service meetings, and I won’t be conducting any one-on-one’s anymore. It hasn’t really hit me yet. But wow, again, how different my life will be! My life is no longer going to be predictable, especially now that I’ve graduated from university. It’s no longer going to be about the next event that we have to plan for, or the talk or the meeting minutes that I’ll need to prepare each month.

At a time like this, I can be easily tempted to be worried and scared for what’s to come. And believe me, that is kind of what I’m going through right now. But this is a great opportunity for me to give thanks to God for blessing me with such a beautiful and wholesome upbringing in the CFC-Youth community.

I’ve been so fortunate to have grown up in this community, where I’ve learnt the most incredible truth: God loves me and has a plan for me (Talk 1 of the Youth Camp). With this truth is the gift of knowing that God exists and that He wants to have a personal relationship with me. He wants me to free me from this world and He wants me to reject its countless empty promises. I’ve been so blessed that God chose this community to help me discover who I really am. I am His beloved. I am not made for this world, but my citizenship is in Heaven.

I praise God that I’ve found my identity in Him. I know and see what’s going on in the world each day. I know that there are millions of people who do not believe He is alive or have so many doubts about who they are, what their purpose is, or why they exist. There are so many questions that come into a person’s mind that are left unanswered because they don’t have the proper guidance, support, and community to lead them. So I don’t take it lightly when I say that it’s truly a miracle that God has chosen me and not somebody else. I could have been an atheist or an agnostic, but that wasn’t God’s plan for me.

I give praise to God for the people who invited me to this community. Thank you Dad and Mom. I know it’s been nine years since our whole family has been active in the CFC Family Ministries, but you have given me the best gift a parent could give a child, and that is hope in Jesus Christ. As much as I love you both for all of your sacrifices, love, and support, I thank you most for teaching me how to pray at a young age, for ensuring I was baptized and confirmed, and for encouraging me to join CFC-Youth 12.5 years ago. Thank you for using your hard-earned money to pay for my registration fees to all of the camps, conferences, summits, SHOUTS, and immersions that I attended. Thank you for being my CCs when I was still a teenager in junior high.

I thank God for my two older sisters who were the first people to set an example for me in CFC-Youth even before I joined. Thank you for paving the way for me. Thank you for your service in the South Chapter, HSB, and Area. I am so thankful to God for giving me sisters who have supported me in my service through prayers or through words of encouragement and affirmation. I am blessed to have a family that loves God.

I give thanks to God for those who served at my CFC-Youth Youth Camp, especially the team leaders and my facilitator. Thank you Sam, Kat, and Mesh for giving me the opportunity to encounter Jesus in a very personal way. It was there that I met Jesus and knew it. And it changed my life forever.

I am so blessed by God for all of leaders in CFC-Youth Edmonton, especially my household heads who have prayed for me and mentored me in the past 12.5 years. Thank you Janine for calling me to go to events and helping me say yes to serve in KFC Core (or ROCK). Thank you Ate Rieza for believing in me, not just in my service as a Chapter Head but as a person. I continually refer to your example of love and boldness when I serve. Thank you Lara for teaching me patience and bravery, and thank you for believing that I could be an Advocacy Head and an Area Head. Your friendship means a lot to me. Thank you Ate Evs for teaching me that God is a merciful God, who will accept me as I am, and not who I think I should be. Thank you for being an example of true humility, and for helping me in my discernment as a Mission Volunteer.

I am thankful for the sisters (especially in my households) and the brothers (especially my counterparts) that I’ve served with so closely. A huge shout out to everyone I’ve served with in the CFC-Youth Edmonton Core Group. I am so grateful to God for all of your life-giving friendships. Thank you for believing in me and trusting me. With all of you, the journey has been so colourful and full of laughter and joy. Your yes’s have always inspired me to say yes. Thank you for truly being the Heart Beat of CFC-Youth Edmonton.

I praise God for CFC Edmonton and all of the CCs that have been like second parents to me, especially my own parents (lol), Uncle Au and Auntie Monica, Tito Nap and Tita Ely, Tito Charlie and Tita Edna, Tito Cesar and Tita Beth, Kuya Anthony and Ate Maan, Tito Jaymar and Tita Sheila, Tito Chris and Tita Baby, and Tito George and Tita Evs. To these CCs and all of the CCs that have ever served me, you’ve all been such huge supporters of my growth as a CFC-Youth. Without you, there is no CFC-Youth. Without you, all of us young people would be lost, not knowing and not experiencing the love of God. Thank you for your service!

I am thankful to the Lord for all CFC-Youth Full-Time Pastoral Workers who have set foot in the Mountain Region and have set an amazing example to the youth and for inspiring them to be and bring Christ wherever they are. I praise God for all of the FTPWs, but thank you Ate Evs, Anton, Kuya Miguel, Ate Candy, Kuya Gelo, Kevin, Ate Hannah, Kuya Dexter, Ate Grace, Kuya Butch, Kuya John, Ate Madel, Ate Checa, Kuya Ghamay, Kuya Yroll, and now Niccolo for all of your sacrifices and service. Thank you for playing a huge role in my life.

I praise God for all of the priests and religious sisters that have helped me in my formation as a Catholic, both during a CFC-Youth event or apart from it, especially those who have given me such sound advice on how to love myself, others, and God more. Without question, I wouldn’t know Jesus’ merciful love if it weren’t for Father Mike, Father Jim, Father Matthew, Father Vu, Father Miguel, Father Martin, Father Kris, and Father Mark. Also, thank you Sister Mae and the Sisters of Providence for always praying for me. Thank you all for responding to the call!

Twelve and half years have flown by and goodness, there have been times when I felt like the only option was to quit. I can recall different years where I had a difficult time moving on from feeling abandoned, betrayed, misled, anxious, or just trying to overcome feeling like I wasn’t enough or that I was too much. Although each year had its own set of difficulties and struggles, it would be an enormous mistake if I ignored the joy I found in suffering for God. It was at my lowest points that I’ve felt closest to God. Even the times when I couldn’t feel anything, I knew God was with me. God can do anything and He can heal anyone, no matter how deep the wounds are.

It was in the suffering that God pushed me to grow and formed in me virtues like patience, compassion, humility, piety, and mercy. The most difficult of these to develop was definitely mercy, but the Lord has a crazy way of showing me up; He once said,

“If I can forgive the inexcusable in you, you can forgive the inexcusable in others.”

Boom. So beautiful, freeing, and true!

For myself, one of the greatest challenges I’ve experienced in CFC-Youth Edmonton was seeing the area fall before my eyes in 2007. Since then, CFC-Youth Edmonton has been rebuilding from the ground up. However, what used to be a barren desert is now a youthful, vibrant community whose foundation is truly Christ. We are no longer in our “dark ages” but living in the light of Christ.

I leave CFC-Youth Edmonton having the most troubling yet peaceful transition. It is troubling because a part of me wants to hold onto something that has been so good to me for over half of my life. But it is a peaceful transition knowing that the new CFC-Youth Edmonton Core Group, the new Heart Beat, is comprised of youth who are stronger and more faithful than I ever was at their age.

I rarely went to weekday mass or confession when I was 16 or 18 or 20 years old. But for these youth it’s almost like second nature to them; they just know that in order to have a strong foundation in Christ, they can’t just be active in the community, but they need to be active Catholics in the Church. They are prepared, equipped, and ready to be the Lord’s hands, feet, and heart to the area. What more can I ask for? There is nothing left. God has made it easy for me to let go.

I am moving on from CFC-Youth with so much gratitude because God has been so faithful to all of my friends. Today they’re no longer youth, but adults now, joining SFC, getting engaged, some soon to be married. I have friends who have graduated university, who are moving away to grad school or medical school, and many are landing new jobs and opportunities. In the past year, God has given us more reasons to trust in His love and His plan for us than He ever has before in our lives. We’ve reached a beautiful point where God keeps blessing us with more and inviting us to receive more. We are at such a good place in our lives despite the uncertainty of what our future holds. Personally, I take delight in knowing that God holds and owns my future, and that He is already there waiting for me.

“Fear not, for I am with you always.”
-Isaiah 41:10

I spent this day, my last day as a CFC-Youth, trying my best to offer it to the Lord. I went to work. I spent about 40 minutes in adoration, went to mass on the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary. I was able to go to confession and walk through the Holy Doors. I walked to the River Valley and spent some more time in prayer with God. I talked to some of the sisters in my household on the phone. When I arrived home, I greeted my parents with a hug and a kiss. Today was just a beautiful and wholesome day, very reflective of my life growing up as a CFC-Youth.

Everything that I’ve learnt about faith, hope, love, service, virtue, community, the Church, prayer, the saints, angels, Mother Mary, evangelization, advocacy and social justice, and family create in me my identity in Christ. No matter where I go, I pray that I will do my best to embody all of the things I’ve learnt in CFC-Youth and apply these same teachings in Singles For Christ. After all, I’m still a big sister to the youth. Moving onto a different ministry doesn’t change that. Although I won’t be leading as many activities as I used to as an Area Head, I pray that God may keep me a CFC-Youth at heart so that I can continue to strive to be and bring Christ wherever I go.

Thank You God for everything. For my life. For my family. For this community. For the opportunity to serve You. For the Church. For my work. I am amazed by Your love, Lord. Thank You for the best last day. Amen.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us.
St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.

#campSWAT #stayworthyandtrue