In Her Heart

This Lent was the best so far. Well, I don’t mean that other Lents were any less in quality (that would be silly to think), I mean, it was the best for me personally because I have never opened my heart so much before. However, yes, it was my most fruitful experience so far, but I did still fall. I did still break my fast from time to time and of course, I did allow my fallen nature to get the best of me and sinned, more than I hoped not to.

Overall, my lenten journey was a lot more personal. I didn’t really discuss it with others because I tried keeping it intimate with my Lord. I experienced many beautiful things, grown in many ways, and saw God clearer (especially in my struggles). Like Mary, I really made a conscious effort to treasure all these things in my heart.

During Easter Sunday Mass, I was filled with so much joy, so much that I almost came to tears during the readings and especially when we sang “Alleluia!”. It was such a beautiful and intimate experience with my Jesus. I probably would’ve lept all over the place if God did not give me the grace to keep my composure. I expressed my joy by simply saying to others “happy Easter” with a genuine smile.

How beautiful and wonderful it is to treasure joy and every experience with God in our hearts. It is like a wellspring of life overflowing, flourishing with the endless living waters of His graces. His Holy Spirit so alive in us, purifying from the inside out, revitalizing the mind, body, and soul. His treasure in us is His real presence, making our hearts a garden, deepening our roots in Him.

Thank You Lord for all that You are. I praise and magnify You oh God. I pray that all the treasure in my heart may remain, grow, and be added unto, so much that it continues to expand my heart. I cannot truly describe the abundance, but Lord I find comfort in giving You my heart always, for that is where my treasure is also. You are my treasure. Amen.

Alleluia!

Christ has risen! The Lord has blessed us all today. His resurrection restores us in ways our minds cannot even begin to fathom. The outpouring of God’s love on Good Friday was so extreme, it overcame death and we all know the endlessness of His love. Today, I witnessed the overflowing fount of His love as it flowed through my family.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like if my whole family served the Lord.

While journeying in this community, it is inevitable to grow in the desire for the whole family to serve God, especially as a young devoted Catholic. In the past I have been envious of other families where all members served, regardless if it was related to the CFC ministries or not. I’ve experienced the greatness of God in my life and I wanted my family to experience Him more than I was. The Lord softened my heart by revealing to me His faithfulness.

It’s becoming more rare, especially now that we’re growing older, that my immediate family is complete, even for a meal. Usually we’re separated by our different schedules and finding time to all be together is difficult, but our God is generous. My older brother was able to make it home for the long weekend, my parents were off from work, my sister was free for the most part (one work shift), and my schedule was empty. We spent the entire Saturday watching movies and enjoying each other’s company, not too often do we have time to do that. On Easter morning, we all had breakfast together. I may be wrong, but I don’t think we had breakfast altogether, at the house, in years! Praise God. We then headed to mass together, something that we haven’t done together in a while. God is so great! The Lord then brought forth a surprise that brought the warmest joy to my heart. An usher asked my family to serve as part of the offertory procession. Our God is so awesome! My family agreed and this was our first experience serving the Lord together, as one family.

The Lord definitely grants us the deepest desires of our hearts. Jesus is the source of love and unity. He showed me today that He has plans for my family and that we’ll journey together in His time. Christ did not only die for my sins and conquer the grave, which is more than I could ever ask for, but He continues to bless my family in overwhelming abundance.

Thank You Lord. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank You for His passion and resurrection. Thank You for my family. May You always be the center of our lives. Help us to love one another as You have loved us and aid us in sharing the blessings that You shower  us with every single day. All praise and glory to You Almighty! Amen.

Body, Soul, and Divinity

“Body”
The past two weeks, I have been contemplating on the notion of “the body”. How our bodies are so intricate, so beautiful, so complex.
But that our bodies…are also limited.
I couldn’t help but think how one’s body can fully function and
how it can fully deteriorate the next.
Our bodies are an instrument…but for how long?
It has been exactly two weeks today since my uncle, Papa Joe,
was brought to the hospital, and we were informed that he was having heart problems and his body was giving in.
I couldn’t grasp the thought that my uncle’s body and his organs were no longer as functional as before.The concept that something or someone was once fully living, is now slowly dying.
It hit me when I saw him laying there on the bed and his body wasn’t responding. But I realized how even though the body is limited…there is something that ‘something’ within us that is even stronger.
The body doesn’t control itself. 
The spirit does. 
“Soul”
When we felt like there was no hope left,
the doctors said that his body was no longer responding and
my family gave our last prayers.
My aunt leaned towards my uncle’s ear, crying as she prayed and was continuously saying,
“I love you, I love you, I love you daddy!”
My uncle suddenly opened his eyes and started moving his limbs.
My other aunt was on his side and asked him if he could hear her, to hold her hand.
He squeezed. 
The doctor asked him to open his eyes.
He opened them. 
The doctor was amazed, and did not know what to think.
I was amazed…
Though I wasn’t physically there,
I witnessed the illogical power of “love” at that very moment.
I say illogical, because it is definitely unexplainable.
The spirit of love. 
However, three days later the limitedness of the body fully gave in. Though his body remains here on earth, his energy continues to circulate amongst us. What I have concluded is that our ‘soul’, our ‘spirit’, or our ‘energy’, its ultimate desire is to be free from the bondage of our body.
I feel that the Lord wanted to reveal to us that only He defies the impossible.
My uncle’s energy and The lord’s Spirit is always surrounding us. 
“Divinity”
The Lord calls us to surrender.
He calls us to believe.
To believe in love and in
The Divine
 Power and Miracles
It can bring
The human body is so mysterious
The human body is so unpredictable…
It is so limited.
But so precious.
However,
It is the spirit within us that pushes us.
It is so precious.
The spirit has no limits…
Unless it is within the boundaries of one’s body.
The spirit only then becomes free if it is released from our bodies.
But, at that moment in the hospital,
The miracle.
I witnessed the strength of the spirit defying a ‘logical situation’,
a failing body diagnosed by the doctor…
but it was all because of love…
I could not deny the power of The Divine.
Our spirit, our soul, our energy deep within…
Longs to be free.
Longs to be where we came from.
Longs to be with Who we came from.
Longs to fulfil the cycle,
To be with God.
The source of our energy.
Death is not the end of life,
but the freedom of one’s spirit to be with God.
Our body reacts to love.
Our spirit reacts to prayer.
Both react to life as we know it.
It is only when the body has recognized that it has fully loved and been loved…
Will the body break down
and return to its original form
In spirit
In energy
Which
Lives forever.
—
My uncle, Papa Joe was a man of love.
A man of compassion.
A man of jokes and a man of wisdom.
His spirit longs to be free,
Because he,
His body
Has experienced the full expression of love.
He was truly loved
And
He loved unceasingly.
Many people will surely miss him because of his presence, his service, and his love for his family and his country (The Philippines).
For the last 15 years Papa Joe played a significant role in my life as a father figure since my dad passed away. He didn’t say much, but when we spoke I truly felt his love, his wisdom, and the knowledge he carried; but always with a humble heart. As the only man of the house, living with 9 women under a roof, he showed me that
a man isn’t powerful because of his strength but because of his ability to be compassionate.  
Papa Joe was a man of God,
Even though he didn’t know it.
I saw it in the way he loved his wife
every time they waited for each other to drink coffee
I saw it in the way he loved his family back home always keeping in touch through Facebook despite the time differences
I saw in the way he loved his sons, because he was so proud of them!
I saw it in the way he loved his daughter-in-law, by truly loving her as his daughter
I saw in the way he loved his grandchildren, by picking them up after school everyday, walking/bussing and cooking for them
even though at times he may be in pain.
I saw it in the way he cared for me,
For us whom he lived with, none of us biologically related to him,
But all of us he saw as family.
He was compassionate because he forgave.
He forgave because he loved.
He loved because he believed in peace.
He believed in peace because it was good.
He was good.
He was great,
And God is surely pleased and happy to receive him back into His arms.
Papa Joe was able to see the differences in all things but was able to place  importance in acknowledging the oneness of all.
Dear God (with Papa Joe by Your side),
We ask you Lord, for you both to continously watch over the rest of us here on earth and to pray for us. May we  continue to grow “in love, unity, and understanding” despite the fact that Papa Joe is no longer physical present with us, but is always with us in spirit. May we remember the way Papa lived, the way he forgave, the way he loved, and the way he strived for peace amongst others and most importantly within the family. May we adopt a piece of him into our lives so that we may be able to strive to be good like him.
A man of the family, a man of his country, and a man of God. 
Thank you Lord,
Thank you Papa Joe,
I miss you.
We miss you.
I know you are here.
Jose L. Seguerra
August 27, 1937 – March 20, 2013
 
Amen:)

 

Oh, The Stones We Hold

After mass last Sunday, my mum and I decided to walk to a nearby Tim Hortons. We sat there in a booth, warming our hands against our cups, and we started to talk. About small things first; my work, her work, the homily.. And somehow, we started to wade into deeper waters.. She spoke about forgiveness. She didn’t speak so much of the hurts she experienced or the wrongdoings done against her as she did the act of forgiving: the letting go, the trusting God.

“Do you understand?” she asked me.
I managed a muffled, “Yes.”
With tears streaming down both my face and hers. The Tim Hortons was jam packed, and every table around us was filled with people, but it seemed as though the whole world quieted to the sound of my breathing as I silently mopped up my tears. I looked up to see my mother softly smiling.

I have always thought of myself as a generally forgiving person. I’ve been able to forgive to the point that I forget. But it seems that I hold on to wrongs done to others, especially the ones I love most, and I grudgingly hold on to these as though my anger would somehow avenge the ones I love. But through my mother’s words, I was gently reminded that I am freeing myself when I forgive. Rather than clenching tightly to the rocks while I swim, motivated to continuously push forward, determined to hold on, I let the rocks in my palms sink, and I was more able to swim freely; my movements changing from a hard and heavy splashing to a light and gentle glide. I can see God smiling down, as though I finally got what he had been trying to tell me for quite some time. “You were only making it harder on yourself.”

 

You cannot be right with God and wrong with man. 

 

For Sale: Jesus Christ

Last Wednesday’s homily was very memorable to me.  The priest shared that everytime we sin that’s how much the cost we trade Christ for. When I tell a lie, then I sold Christ with my lie and this is the same with the rest of the sins I committed.  Everyday of the year Christ is selling Himself to me, so I will always choose Him. Yet, the opposite always happens, I am selling Him.  Holy week seems to be the only time of the year that I am extra conscious not to sell Christ.

Why is it in Holy Week I have more time in solitude? Why are the themes of the tv shows all about miracles and goodness? Why are there more people going to church for adoration? Why do people try to stay at home? Why are the malls close? Why is everyone extra kind and quiet?

Holy Week is a reminder that this is how I am supposed to live my life everyday. Christ is not just easily sold, instead it is surrendering to Him because He has already bought me with His life.

“Lord of unconditional love and total surrender, I thank you for giving us the season of Lent. You are God who truly loves us, always offering Yourself to us everyday. You are God reaching out to us even if we are not moving forward. You are God walking beside us so we are always on track. You are God staying behind us to catch us when we fall more so clean up our past.

Lord, may I be able to carry out my posture this Holy Week for the rest of the year. May I be extra conscious not to trade You. May I always surrender myself for you have already paid for me.”

 

 

Candy

Philippians 1:29

Ubi Caritas Et Amor, Deus Ibi Est

Where charity and love are, God is there.

I only experience this hymn once or twice a year and every time I do, it feels as if angels are singing a very personal message to me. Out of the many hymns my parish choir sings, this is definitely one that strikes a chord in my heart, then again, the message of the Lord always does.

“Whenever you care for someone, there is the presence of Jesus.” – Father Tobin

I constantly ask the Lord to be humbled, especially during this Lenten season, and as His Passion and Resurrection approaches, He has not failed to put me in my place. Usually, I expect the extraordinary when I look for God’s whisper in my life. However, He has revealed to me that the smallest, often overlooked, gestures are what He has called me to work on. I always want to serve Him in my fullest capacity, usually by crossing oceans or moving mountains, and often I fail to realize that Christ took many small steps when He walked on water. God always presents me with opportunities to spread His love within very tiny, unnoticeable acts, however in my pride I deemed them as being unnecessary.

“It’s okay, that person won’t even notice anyway.”

“Would it even make a difference?”

It takes a very humble person to act instinctively to the goodness within them. The Lord calls us to move when the Holy Spirit initiates us to act out of love. I am learning to place more of my faith in Christ and trust that He is always working, “You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand,” especially in the small things. It is not in the grand gestures, but it is when we do small things with great love, as Mother Teresa taught, that we are able to move mountains.

Thank you Lord for today. Thank you for giving me a reason and a means to love. I humbly ask for Your mercy in the moments I fail to act out of love. Lord, humble me. Grant me the grace that I may choose to love knowing that I may be wronged, the same way You knew Your hour was coming. May I be as compassionate and forgiving as You have always been to me. May I constantly be reminded that every person is made in Your image. Soften my heart and grant me the grace to be in communion with You, now and forever. Amen.

“Just forgive and forget”

“Just forgive and forget”

I truly hope that this short phrase is easier done than said.
It is truly so easy to say but a lot harder to do.
It might have been said to us and we might have said this to another as well.
Is it really that hard to forgive? Can I just close my eyes and everything will be okay?
Can I just tell my brain to forget something that has been instilled in my mind for so long that it has been engraved? Is it the hurt in my heart that I cannot erase?

It may not be easy to forget the hurts that we’ve caused to another brother or sister nor the hurts that we feel in our hearts. The memory of the hurt may stay in our hearts and our minds forever. We might not really be able to fully forget, but we can replace. Our memory is so beautiful yet so complex in its entirety. Maybe we can try to replace something hurtful that we shoved in our long-term memory and replace it with something so beautiful. When we are able to let go of the hurts of the past, then we have truly learned how to forgive. We have been set free. Let’s try to keep a memory that will last forever. Let us replace those hurtful moments in our lives with the everlasting memory and thought of our Lord. He is our forever.

We are forgiven each day, each moment, each nanosecond of our lives. We are even given this freedom to our very last breath. Why choose to linger on the things that give us sorrow and pain, when the experience of joy and resurrection is given to us each day. We have a tendency to linger in the past, that we may have missed so many beautiful things in the present. Let us live in the now. Our Lord Jesus Christ has redeemed us and His redemption lives forever.
He is our God and He is here and now.

As we approach Easter Sunday, let us continue to journey with the Lord and let our hearts be soaked in His Great Love. Easter is approaching and we are Easter people, as we are people of great hope because we hope in the Lord.

Let us fill our hearts with only the things that are necessary. Unload the things that keep our hearts heavy. Let God chisel away the unnecessary.

“Travel light. Sin no more.”
Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD

God bless us all always.
Peace and Love.
☺