Always Reminded

Sometimes we can really become occupied with only the work that is infront of us.  Our mind becomes narrow and we start to limit our thoughts and attitudes, you might wonder and even feel why no one else is helping or focused on the task.  We worry too much sometimes, I know I do, but I guess this is why we turn into Martha’s… Everyone know that story right?  Imagine if we threw a party for our friends but we were so focused on preparing all the meals and making sure everyone is catered we don’t even have time to enjoy their company.  It is one way for us to be occupied in the service that we do, but I guess the winner or the better part to do is to be focused on our Lord who has given us the service.  We can really see Mary is the winner because she knows that work can wait and there is always time for the Lord.  She knew at that moment He chose to enter her home she would listen to everything he says.  It must be that child like faith that she had in the Lord.

St. Benedict seems to have figured it out as his motto and rule is Ora et labora – work and prayer. What the? best of both worlds for some people.  I guess the best thing for us is to understand our priorities always placing Him first.  If the Lord wanted to build a relationship with Martha and Mary, then He wants to do the same for us.

@itsmetimmm

We Fight From Victory

We fight for victory.

A common battle cry that our leaders cry out to pump/hype/inspire us to doing some crazy thing for the Lord. It usually works, whether we are just going to a General Assembly, a Camp, or a Conference.

However this past Eastern True North Conference (TNC) was some sort of a challenge. It wasn’t until three weeks ’til the conference date that we called our first coordination meeting for all the committee heads. I remember having a conversation with Kris that nothing we’ll do for this conference will amount to something because of the time constraint, but if something happens it will only be because of the Lord.

From a program stand point, which I had the opportunity to lead with Hannah, we had to prepare one of the most creative intensive conferences ever (based on my 12 year experience in this ministry). Everything was against us – time, accessibility, and availability – yet the Lord still allowed everything to fall into place. He provided us with more than capable choreographers and dancers, our production heads, tech team, and director were all aboard to deliver the message of exposing Jesus at this conference.

In fact, those who went to conference can attest that the creatives were very sick! Even at the tech booth I was snapping, clapping, and cheering them on. At the end of the day, I was in awe that it was the smoothest conference in terms of program I’ve been too (12 years guys, 12 years). Even with all the backstage issues (and there were quite a lot), the message was delivered.

This leads me back to a reflection of mine a few days before TNC, we do not not fight for victory. In fact, the victory has already been won when Christ was raised from the dead. The birth, death, and resurrection of Christ was the victory. Every thing else that we do, specially if it’s for Him, is just an affirmation of that definitive victory. Hence we will never “lose”.

We fight from victory.

A posture not borne out of pride, but a posture borne out of faith that everything is part of His plan. That He loves us so much that He will not lead us down a path that will not bear anything good in the end.

For that, may God be praised in victory.

Saint Ignatius, pray for us. Amen.

Series of Stress, Series of Victory

I remember the feeling during the last day of June I did not want the month to end. I know that when July comes it will be the start of my 2 stressful months – CFC Conference, SFC Conference, and CFC-Youth Conference. I was doubtful and unsure how everything will work out.

Now, 2 weeks after the CFC Conference. I still can remember the hectic days before the conference and even the pressure on the day of. After the conference, I personally believe that the Lord allowed me to claim the victory that He set before me. It was a fulfillment of a promise. I believe I learned a lot not just form the talks but mostly from the service among the fellowship between SFC and CFC-Youth service team members. It was like seeing the future of the smooth transition and harmonious relationship of the 2 ministries.

Now here in Calgary, preparing for the CFC-Youth Conference I am moving to the next hectic days of it. As I am going through the process right now, I just know that it is the same twist and turn journey as the CFC Conference. Going through the process will lead me to eventually give up everything so that all I have is nothing and when I have nothing the Lord will be able to reside in me, consume me and fill me to the brim. I will be reminded again that this is all for the Lord and of the Lord.

“Dear God of power, wisdom and might! We praise and thank you for the gift of service. Thank you for calling me to be part of the family ministries of Couples for Christ. This community has been the avenue of my expression of loving You through my service to our brothers and sisters. Lord, teach me hold on to Your promises, may I endure and enjoy the journey and most of all be able to witness Your victory. May I just focus on you so I will always be on-track with You.”

 

 

Candy Subang

Philippians 1:29

Adoremus in Aeternum

photo 1

Your mercy, Oh God, is so great.
You forgive, You forgave,
Your amazing love, it truly saves.
Your most Holy Name, Oh Lord, cleanses me from any stain.
My tainted soul, You made holy, my name You have claimed.
My glory and praise are Yours.
Forever I will proclaim Your name.
You shower me with Your love, I simply cannot contain.
My cup overflows, in Your presence I will stay.


You captivated me from the start.
You’re the only one who captures my heart.
I am Yours and You are mine.
You are my life’s source, Bread of Life. You are the Vine.
My Father, My God, You are truly DIVINE.
I will worship you forever.
For eternity I am Yours.
The Lover of my soul, my Redeemer, my Saviour, my all.


“My heart is restless until I rest in You”,
My heart is at peace whenever I hear you say, “My daughter, I love you”
Forever I will sing praises to you, my Messiah.
To be with You, my Father is my one and only desire.

 ———

Our Lord God is so good. So wonderful. So Faithful. So True.
Praise be to God forever.

“I love You my Heavenly Father” =D

My sisters and brothers, God bless our hearts and our lives always and forever =D

Peace and Love,
Apple
=D

Chill yooo. He is Enough.

During this ETNC preparation, I was truly blessed by the Lord through humility and growth. Although I was overwhelmed, stressed, uncomfortable, and anxious with the tasks I was given (Awake Fair, Workshops and Session 2), the Lord showed me that HE is MORE THAN ENOUGH.

Everything was all good with the preparations with the two committees, having meetings, making plans, deadlines, timelines, etc. until the Wednesday Night before conference.

That night, I had such a heavy heart and was so anxious that I could not think. Both Apple and Amee (counterparts for Awake fair and Workshops) were working hard and I felt so discouraged with the way I was performing because there was just too much for me to handle. My mind was everywhere. Session 2 was also being neglected since there were so many other responsibilities and things on my mind.

I had a short sigh of relief when we planned to go for confession and mass that Wednesday night. But then all the negative emotions came back because the priest that was there said they did not have both confessions or mass due to summer hours. My heart fell even more.

Frigg man. All I could do is pray.

I remember praying, “Lord, I need you. Lord take this all away. I put all these things in my heart at the foot of your cross.”

I was with Apple Lacbay and Julius Samaniego at the time since we were planning to work on awake fair stuff later that evening. A few minutes after that prayer, a NEW priest walked out of a room, which made Julius and I look at each other and without saying anything to each other we both knew that one of us should ask if the priest had time to go for confessions.

Julius initiated in asking the priest which resulted in him saying yes it taking the time to give Apple, Julius and myself the sacrament of reconciliation.

After the confession, my heart was renewed, refreshed, revitalized and uplifted by the Spirit. I was in awe on how the Lord provides and answers prayers. Siggghhhh… I was touched.

Then, the Lord made me realize something that would bring me peace. Since Julius has been available, present and very willing to help out with awake fair, the Lord spoke to me and directed my attention in seeing if Julius could take on the awake fair head role so that I would have more time to focus on Workshop Committee and Session 2.

Praise God for this revelation.

After talking to Apple, Tita Louie and Tito Noriel, Julius was appointed as awake fair head. And man oh man, the Lord is truly good! Apple and Julius did such an excellent job with awake fair before, during and after the conference that it brought peace to my heart. Jesus was truly exposed through the awake fair team because they showed the true meaning of service for God and doing it with love.

Looking back, I took on too much responsibility which caused so many draining emotions.

But, through all the moments of anxiety, worries, doubts, fears, discouragement, the message was simple. As long we continue to rely on Him, He is more than Enough.

Secret Garden

Dewdrops.

There’s something beautiful about the way that water condenses and forms on a leaf in the bright early mornings. Dewdrops remind me of memories. Pocket of memories. Tiny fragments of time captured in a single bead of water. And you know what? Places can be like those dewdrops. Places that hold pockets of time and moments. Special moments.

In the same way that dewdrops sometimes catch the edge of a leaf, fall and burst…memories too fall. They can hit you with the same momentum. Inevitable, yet sometimes unexpected.

I’ve loved my time here in this country, but to be quite honest with you this trip hasn’t been without gravity. My gravity. The harsh reality pulling down my pockets of memories and having the emotions burst all over the place. There are so many places that remind me of things I’m not ready to face, of people I’m not ready to remember. There’s been this huge lump in my throat that’s been waiting….sitting. That sharp inhale of breathe , that moment before your tear ducts do what they’re supposed to do.

Then, I just let go. Let it out. Allowed myself to cry and see that dew drop hanging by the end finally fall and hit the ground. For some reason I felt like crying would make me the weakling. Why did I hold myself back so much from doing what my heart wanted to do so many times before? I was crying and thinking, thinking and praying, praying and asking…..God, why?

This was His response.

My Therese, my beautiful red rose. Embrace this. All of it. Embrace the heartache. I’m ready to listen to you and meet you in whatever state you’re in. Does a father not answer to the cries of  His beloved daughter? Of his little princess? A rose would never hold so much beauty if it did not have its thorns. Embrace yours. My son embraced His….wore His on His head. I can help you embrace yours. Look to my most Sacred Heart, which wears not only one thorn but many. I know what I’m putting you through hurts right now, but I need you to go through this so your heart can heal and be renewed. 

The world can be a place full of turmoil and that is why I created you- To be part of a place of peace in a world of chaos. A red rose for My love, a yellow rose for My flesh, a white rose for My purity, and your most favourite colour of all….pink. A pink rose for My passion. Can you be that rose for me? Be a part of my secret garden to this world.

I have so much in store for you and trust that I will give you what you seek. But first, you have to learn to love your thorn and accept it. A thorn my love, is part of the rose. It can never be without it just as my Son could never be without His crown. 

—-

“The growth isn’t in moving on or being able to let go. The growth is in being able to say thanks, literally for everything.” (Erin G)

I pray that one day I can look at the dewdrop on the edge of one of my leaves, and say thanks. Thank you for being so full of memories, both good and bad. Thank you for existing and for being there. But now, I have to let you fall to the ground and let you water my roots so that I can continue to grow. To grow so that I can be the rose God made me to be, to bloom where He has planted me.

“O most holy heart of Jesus, fountain of every blessing, I adore you, I love you, and with lively sorrow for my sins I offer you this poor heart of mine. Make me humble, patient, pure and wholly obedient to your will. Grant, Good Jesus, that I may live in you and for you. Protect me in the midst of danger. Comfort me in my afflictions. Give me health of body, assistance in my temporal needs, your blessing on all that I do, and the grace of a holy death. Amen.” (Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus)

 

“How do you know?” [Insert Answer]

It’s been four days since the #ETNC, a week littered with post-Conference fellowships.   The frenzy came slowly to a close with my last houseguest leaving for Montreal (*ahem Ellish *ahem). While doing “less than exciting” housework and clean-up, the Jesus Experiences stuck out like a sore thumb in my mind and heart.  No doubt, Conferences always bring about:

  • Renewed Convictions: “Yes! God told me THIS…[insert inspiration received in powerful worship, or other ‘God-inspired’ experience].”
  • Personal Miracles and Transformations: “God CHANGED me…He…[insert change experienced, whether Big or Small].

I recently asked a sister MV:  How do you think you’ll know you’re called to Mission? Our discussion led to a short discussion on Desire. Reflecting on this today (in the middle of caring for the house plants, the maternal instincts kicking in), I realized that it’s about His Desire to love us through [insert calling].

“You will find your conviction by sitting so close to Him, heart-to-heart (eye ball-to-eye ball).  Enamoured and ablaze, He then whispers to you “Come, follow me.” And out of love, we obey and follow whatever direction He leads us to.” 

I believe the call to Mission, or His personal Mission for us, is this: a response of love to the love He desires to shower us with. These moments can happen through the extravagance of “Jesus-Expo-esque” events, or simply in the sum of small realizations, that He desires to love through…[insert personal, “God-given”, Calling].