True North Missionaries Journal

I was cleaning my room a few days ago and came across a box. I opened it and it felt like a time capsule exploded on me because I found all my old CFC-Youth (just referred to as YFC back then) camp, pre-con, conference and leadership retreat tags. So many memories of my early youth days!

I was lucky enough to find some old pictures too which caused me to reminisce even more. In the middle of my time traveling, it suddenly hit me- the Lord has been leaving clues of His greater plan for me in the details. Since the very start which was on a warm summer night in August….

First CAMP | A New Beginning
Camp Edgewood x August 29, 2001. Half these people are either married and/or parents. Some of them have even signed up to be CFCs. Spot Jose/Krissy Buenavides! Jose was the Team Servant for my camp, and now the couple is serving as the Couple Coords for HSB GTA.

First CONFERENCE | A Time to Build
North American Conf x YFC/SFC (2002)
“And I say build up, build up, prepare the way! Remove every obstacle from my people’s way” -Isaiah 57:14. The theme was all about being in build mode for the new generation of believers who would be bolder and more radical in doing God’s work in N.A. and the rest of the world.  They spoke about the beauty of this community, the ugliness of society and the reality of God’s promise.

First Pre-Conference | Testify
“I have been crucified with Christ; yet I live. No longer I, but Christ lives in me.”- Galatians 2:20

First Regional Leaders Conference | Driven
The conference focused on being “driven, above & beyond the call”. 

 

Camp Season | Believe
“But these are written that you may (come to) believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in His name.“- John 20:31. I was taken out of Community Based as a household head and moved to High School Based as President for St. Aloysius Gonzaga. There were no manuals to go off of, and we kept having to re-introduce the club to the school because the chaplains kept changing. My counterparts also kept changing. I was frustrated, but stayed obedient to the call. Being team servant allowed me to meet so many people and create intimate relationships with each one of them. It revived my spirit to keep serving for HSB.

Camp Season | Freedom
“Freedom is what we have- Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to be slaves again.”- Galatians 5:1. How many people in this community can say that they shared team leader responsibilities with their sibling? I lead the camp with my younger brother John (Missions, Windsor). I was back in Community based and felt so out of place. HSB was its own world at that time and there was little transparency. We incorporated my older methods with John’s new era ways. We took the best that our generations had to offer and combined. All I remember is a lot of crying. And breaking down in the service team room.

—-insert “break” from service life here x empty spaces—-

First International Leaders Conference | Almighty
“My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my saviour.”- Luke 1:46. Six thousand youth, one venue.  And here I was, just coming out of a 3.5yr hiatus. I was bitter and restless. But sure, I’d give this God  thing ‘one more try’. That’s all He needed to move mountains in my life.

First Regional Youth Conference | Kusugbo: XD
“I speak the truth in Christ, I do not lie; my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness.”- Romans 9:17. I was one of three who spoke for Session 1: Extreme Favour. Again, no idea what I was doing. “I will sing praise to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the wonderful things you have done.”- Psalm 9:1. Was I the appropriate person for this? Everyone else seemed to think so. It hit me, God didn’t want me to just find his love, he wanted me to live his love.

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A twelve year love letter… and the rest is still being written. Each one of these firsts feels like the beginning of a paragraph. However, there were so many times that I was caught up in phrases, and so fixated and deluded in the tiniest fragments of the sentence that I failed to see the main context- that God has a plan for me so I can prosper and find hope (Jeremiah 29:11). We are not meant to see these events separately, rather as parts to a whole.

Note to self: Each memory is dipped in grace, each new service opportunity is an exclamation of His grand love.

Regardless of how far away I strayed in between the journey, absolutely nothing could keep God’s promise away from me. His faithfulness is unmatched. I need to reflect on my past and see how God was present there, so that I can have a better understanding of where He is taking me. You can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you started. He has never stopped pursuing me, never stopped loving me, and all I have to do is stop, take a breath and know that all this can be found in the details of his beautiful love letter for me.

BLESSED: having a sacred nature : connected with God
: very welcome, pleasant, or appreciated
: of or enjoying happiness; specifically : enjoying the bliss of heaven
[Definition from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary]

We are blessed.
We are so blessed.
We are so so blessed.
We are so so so blessed.
We are sooooooooo blessed.
🙂

My sisters and brothers, this is a very simple message, a reminder that I know I need to hear everyday, to remain grounded in the Lord. And I am grateful the He reminds me of
this beautiful message everyday. There might be times that I ignore or even try not hear this message but our Beautiful God unceasingly reminds me of how blessed I am.
For this, I am blessed.

                                                                   We are blessed.

We are blessed because of our Heavenly Father.
We are blessed because we come from HIM.
Our very being as a child of God makes us blessed.
We are of the Lord. We are loved by the Lord.
We are blessed because we are HIS.

Father God, may we always remember that we are Yours. Thank you for always reminding us that the life that we have is truly beautiful. Thank you for reminding us on how blessed we are. May we always see all the blessings that you never cease to grace our lives. Thank you for loving us.
Thank you for blessing us always.

My dear brothers and sisters, may we continue to see how blessed we are and remind each other about the blessed lives that we all have. With this, we also become a blessing
to one another.

We are blessed.

May our Heavenly Father continue to bless us always and Forever.
Have a wonderful day!

Peace and Love,
Apple
🙂

Backpacks.  They seem to be an essential need in the occupation of a Missionary. Every one I know has one…or at least very sturdy hang bag.  When I sometimes get “trolled” (made fun of) for carrying my own black, travel, Mountain Co-op backpack, with the perfect set of compartments, I usually say in reply: “It’s a force of habit!”

Indeed, it’s a comfort knowing that I constantly have what I need: my laptop to work, my Bible and a book or two to constantly be inspired, phone and other chargers, etc. Having a backpack also allows (“Hey, there’s space!) for me to “collect” things in my day (e.g Mass bulletins, random pamphlets and magazines, printouts from the Centre, etc.) At the end of the day, however, it’s the tedious process of Emptying and Re-Packing for the next day.

To Be and Bring Christ wherever I go. I once heard that being a Missionary is “living a pastorally sound lifestyle”.  Literal embodiments of the Gospel.  Being human, how difficult it is to:

• Love without pretensions.
• Speak without judgements, and with intention and sincerity.
• Give without motives.
• Be moved with actual Compassion.

Only the Lord can love through me.  Only the Lord can work wonders through me-if I let Him.  It calls for a continuous emptying of Self and in-stirring and re-igniting of His Holy Spirit within to labor with love. Him re-ordering my passions.  If I’m filled with anything else but Him, I find myself having a hard time in Mission.

Even God could not do something for someone who left no room for for Him. One must be completely empty in order to let him in, so that He may do what He wants. (Blessed Mother Theresa of Calcutta).

A House is not a Home without a warm fire blazing in the Hearth. Loving Father, at the end of each day, bring me home to truth that You are the only thing I need.  May I witness to Your love and mercy, as we work, through the leading of your Holy Spirit, Your own Mission of holiness in me. 

In a few hours i’ll be 20 years old. Now, some may say that’s old and some may say thats young. I believe it’s the perfect age to discover who the Lord calls me to be. I know the next years ahead won’t get any easier. I’m going to be faced with more challenges and more decision making but that’s the beauty of it all; discovering yourself through the beauty of the Lords love. He reveals His love to us every day of our lives!

Thank You Lord for blessing me with 20 years of love.

Lately, I have been lacking a sense of sincerity and vulnerability in my prayers. I say my daily prayers and offer myself and my day to the Lord, but I do it out of habit or because I know I ought to do it.

Then I am reminded of Hosea 6:6:

“For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burn offerings.”

I feel like God is reminding me that I need to love Him with all my heart, soul, strength and mind. Any sacrifices, big or small, that I make mean nothing unless I do them out of love. It’s very easy for me to convince myself that it’s okay to hold back in prayer or to only do it when it’s convenient because I make service (an output) be a way of loving God. As true as this sounds, I think God wants more than just our deeds. He wants us. He wants our hearts.

I thank God for reminding me that service is always an outpouring of love, a response to being loved. I can only give what I receive.  And I can only receive when I empty myself.

Lord, I empty myself because I want to be filled with your love. I want to experience your love personally. Help me to serve others because I am in love with You.

Life can be difficult at times. While others can be on the winning end, we can be on the losing end. At some point we felt hurt, misunderstood and betrayed.  Sometimes I encounter situations that challenges me, brings me to my limits and makes me hold on to that last thread of hope. When everything seems gone, suddenly, something happens, an answer, a miracle! It is in the realization that I am in need of miracle that makes me grounded. Believing in miracle is believing in the source of it. You are there Lord, may I recognize Your miracles, big or small. Amen.

Depanneurs, corner stores, bodegas, you’ll find them abundantly scattered in large cities. What’s noteworthy is that although these shops are self-contained and so insignificant in the larger scope of things, they remain united in their desperate cry for attention and relevance.

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I’m the type of person who likes to fly under the radar, I like to be overlooked. So it’s no surprise that I love going to New York City, where I become as insignificant as a spec of dust. I was in NYC about a week ago, and in my travels I witnessed so many individuals who were craving attention, but ultimately what are they crying out for?

I find comfort knowing that even in crowded spaces, I can still manage to experience isolated moments of God’s grace. I’ve compiled select photos I managed to take while in NYC to reflect our constant desire to have God to find us where we are.

 

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Stand out, once more unto the breach.

Jesse R.
“I Am, and We are Missionaries”