True North Missionaries Journal

The past thirty-three days have been part of quite a journey. About 33 days ago I decided to take on “33 days to Morning Glory” with 32 other  friends. To be honest, I never really knew what I was getting into. All I knew was that at the end of it all, we would be consecrating ourselves to Mary. We would come to find Jesus through her. It wasn’t a bad idea since:

1.) I wanted to get to know Mama Mary more
2.) I needed to get over my struggle with structured prayer.

I definitely achieved those things and more throughout the last 4 weeks. There were times when I wanted to give up so badly but thoughts of “meeting” Our Lady of Guadalupe would remind me that I couldn’t. She was a specific Marian apparition that seemed to follow me around and everything she represented really spoke to my heart; the star of the new evangelization (mission) and a patron for the unborn (prolife).

I looked back to my old journal to see if I could figure out how long it’s been since she first “showed up” in my life. I remember drawing her, not knowing who she was exactly. Turns out, it was on June 12 at the Eastern Canada Mission Volunteer  SHOUT. Wow! Mama knows best. So today isn’t just her feast day, it’s also the 6 month anniversary of our friendship. And she did come to meet me again, through my own words. Written in  my journal are reminders. I might’ve just nonchalantly written them six months ago, but they ring true to the me I am today.

Here goes:

————————

The best testimony you’ll come across is the one you’ve lived out. The best conversion story you’ll share is your own- no one can debate that out of you!

Be fearless. How?

1. TRUST.
2. Find COURAGE.

Decide on something you’re not sure of. If you want something surer, then decide with God.  If you decide with your mind, it’s as unpredictable as weather forecasting. Remember, the seat belt was built for safety but in the end, it’s all about the pilot’s ability to have control.

What we leave behind is nothing compared to what we are about to receive.  Focus on His promise.

This is all about a persistent, consistent pursuit.

In mission, you don’t fall in love- you learn to love.

Doing this preparation to consecration allowed my heart and my intentions to be further refined. It pushed me to break out old habits. It forced me to create newer ones. It made me see beauty in the woman God made me to be. To see a beauty that isn’t meant to be contained, a beauty meant to shine out to the world. I realize what the point of this whole consecration was- by imitating and following Our Lady’s virtues my life would become some sort of a star in today’s Bethlehem.

A star that leads to Christ.
A life that points to Jesus.
A tried, tested and true faith that is life-giving.
A testimony that says, “Jesus is here. Jesus is now. And He wants to meet you.”

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The First Fall

As I sit by the window of the Tea Shop by my now Alma Mater
 I glance quickly at my surroundings
 Everyone sipping on tasty residues of dried up flower, leaf, or even fruit or whatever it may be

I choose a root
 Ginger
 As I sip the hot beverage
 I immediately feel the heat going down my throat

I look out the window
 Another story is being told

My attention shifts

My eyes catches a feather-like item stuck on the glass window
 Frost
 I look further past the window and
 I witness my first Montreal snow fall of the season
 The pavement is glistening
 Each snowflake
 Falls on the ground
 Slowly creating a fluffy layer
 I can see the wind blowing
 As the trees bellow back and forth

My attention shifts back

Inside
 My earphones in each ear
 My computer open
 Many windows, programs running
 I am in the middle of a Skype planning with Ottawa
 I am reminded of
 Where my heart first experienced mission
 Where The Lord is constantly reminding me to

"Be on your guard,
 Stand firm in the faith
 Be courageous
 Be strong
 Do all things with
 Love"

Where every preceding experience, journey and challenge has brought me
 Here
 At this very moment

At a Tea Shop
 Sipping some tea
 Looking out
 And watching
 The first fall
 With all the anxieties, challenges, and fears that come with the first fall
 But also the beauty of it
 Seeing it happen before my very eyes
 Allows me to either continue watching it fall
 or
 Jump in to experience it.

---

Friday, November 29, 2013

Getting Up

As I sit on a wooden bench at the bus station
 I notice the
 Layers of snow glistening from the first fall last Tuesday

I am mesmerized by the idea that every layer of the icy white dust
 Becomes no longer a layer but a part of the snow bed

Ottawa
 Is where I am heading
 Bundled with layers I was told to wear

The bus parks infront of the station
 I grab my bags
 And head toward the steps
 Of the rectangular, logged shaped vehicle with windows
 That I will be travelling in
 Every step brings me closer to the reality that awaits me

To the Heart

----

Saturday, November 30, 2013

The Stand

I stand in front of new and old faces
 Leaders,
 So young...but have been there for years
 Leaders,
 New...but filled with so much excitement and hope
 Both groups present
 Clinging on to the passion and goals of the following year

I am inspired
 By the tulips

 As I bask in the presence of each tulip
 I recognize the uniqueness, the vibrance, and the essence
 That each one brings
 Tulips are said to symbolize
 A perfect, true, and passionate love
 For the Lord
 Has called me to be present
 And to be reminded that
 This is the love that I should seek
 Which is in Him

Small Area
 Big Heart

This is where the Lord has placed me in the past year and a half
 He has placed me
 In the HEART
 Of our most beautiful country
 Ottawa

The Spirit is Strong

Is moving
 Is growing
 Is blooming

As I left the Year Planning
 As I left Ottawa
 All I prayed was
 "The HEART...please keep beating"

-----

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Home

Sunday morning I left Ottawa
 Heading back to Montreal
 Hoping to catch the last bit of our Year Planning

As I walked slowly to the bus
 I couldn't believe what I witnessed just a few hours ago
 Though, they may not know
 But THE HEART (Ottawa) has played a huge part in my journey
 And will always do

As I walked up
 Each step bringing me closer to the reality that awaits me

I take a seat near the window
 Immediately as I sat down
 I looked out
 And saw
 Snow falling from the sky
 So beautifully,
 So calmly, and
 So timely.

I thought to myself
 Each layer matters in the present bed of snow
 Now, there will a new coat of snow
 Once I reach Montreal

2 hours later
 As I stepped out of the bus
 I had the luxury to soak my boots
 Onto the fresh layer of snow

As I walked,
 I looked back and noticed imprints
 My footprints following me in the snow
 I smiled

I reached the venue of the Montreal Year Planning
 I was standing at the door
 Hoping to get there in time
 I heard music playing & hands clapping
 It could only mean one thing

Tita opened the door for me
 Gave me a hug and said
 "You're just in time"
 I was in awe of how perfectly the Lord works

I stepped into the room
 Surrounded by music

My heart melted
 This was my home for 13 years
 Overwhelmed with everything
 The Lord reminded me that

This is the same Spirit
 The same Spirit I witnessed in Ottawa
 The same Spirit I experience at every Conference
 The same Spirit I felt 13 years ago at my first camp
 The same Spirit the people felt more than 2000 years ago

The Spirit is Strong

The mission continues,
 Physically present or not

I am comforted by the words of our God
 And so I sing
 Amongst the brothers & sisters that I love...
 In worship.

Amen :)

This month is my last month of service in CFC Youth. I look back with gratefulness to the God who found me in my drunkenness. I don’t know where I would had been if He did not picked me up. God had brought me to places far beyond my imagination, from the seas of the Visayas to the South China Sea and all across the Pacific to the Atlantic… who knows in the Indian Ocean as well, and the Arctic and Antarctic… 🙂 God is good! But more than places, God had brought me back to my senses, to the good that is in me and in the end brought me back to His embrace. Can there be more beautiful than the journey towards self and discover the God who created you beautifully?

I am forever grateful to You O Lord for the gift of CFC Youth. May You continue to bless it with leaders of integrity, passion and excellence. May You bring it to greater heights and allow it to reach to as many young people that it can. May Your grace fills the hearts of each and every leaders and members. Amen.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.” -Jeremiah 1:5

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a blog about a brother that inspires me. It was received well, and I guess its what I enjoy writing about. This time, I was drawn to a big big reflection to an event outside the community. Yet in all of what was going on, there was a connection with Christ. Every single second that passed. So…lets do this!

This is Dana. It was her 18th Birthday! Sooo you know what the means, big debut, a ton of food, a ton of people, but in the midst of it all, years upon years of His endless and unfailing love.

Okay….here we go again? SO you went to a birthday party. Whoopty do. What can I get out of this?

Well, a short side note, shared by her family, Dana was 7 months premature. 2 weeks in the incubator, 3.3 pounds. Fighting for life.

Now imagine, in the day we are in today…a healthy, bright, beautiful, completely normal growing woman.

Not only did God bless her with life, He already knew that was going to happen.

Not only did He plan this for her, He planned it for her family to make the right decision in trusting Him and trusting the fact He was waiting for the response from them to defend her life despite the complications or conditions.

A miracle most definitely, not just in birth But a miracle in growth as a family…trusting in Christ. 

Praise God. It hit me just thinking about it. Our lives have been so blessed with the parents to even make that decision to give us life..and our lives have been filled with so much of His love through all these things…

Tell your parents you love them and thank them. Thank the Lord for your life and the blessings we’ve been given. Ask the Lord to live a life of faith in His plans. Ask the Holy Family, to help your own family, stay Holy.

Lets defend real love. Lets defend life. No matter what condition.

PRAYER FOR REVERENCE FOR LIFE

Almighty God, giver of all that is good,
we thank You for the precious gift of human life:
For life in the womb,
coming from your creative power,
For the life of children, making us glad
with their freshness and promise,
For the life of young people,
hoping for a better world,
For the life of people who are disabled,
teaching us that every life has value,
For the life of the elderly,
witnessing to the ageless values of patience and wisdom.

 

Deo Gloria

 

St. Patrick’s Parish, taken during Advent 2012

Though it may not look like much on the outside, this parish holds some of my most treasured memories and experiences. Whether it be attending Mass, teaching Catechism, hanging out with SPYC, or just silently sitting alone in one of the pews, it always feels like home.

How beautiful you are, Bride of Christ! Let me never tire in your mission of gathering your children to the eternal Wedding Feast.

“If thou didst know the whole Bible by heart, and the sayings of all the philosophers, what would all that profit thee without the love of God (1 Cor. 13:2), and without His grace?”
– St. Louis de Montfort

Coming from the brokenness I’ve experienced, I’ve never really been around an environment where I could fully immerse myself in theological teachings. I was never really the type to know all the “in-depth” details or history of Christianity and its culture because it really wasn’t something I grew up in. Sometimes, I felt discouraged, especially in the beginning of being an MV because I never knew as much as a few others in my batch. But the lifestyle I grew up with was the backbone God gave me in my hardest and deepest struggles…

PRAYER. My mom really instilled a prayerful lifestyle in our family and my dad made it definite that every night that we could, we’d have family prayer. And I truly believe that this lifestyle that was so constant is what God had in plan for me to carry me through the years, or the “Dark Ages” (as one would say). Eventually, I began to realize that I was making a greater effort to know about Christianity… our culture, our saints, our traditions.

I’ve never been the type to excel in anything unless I had a passion for it, and when I look back to how I was about 2 years ago, I realize that I am different. I’ve come to know more and more about my faith, and it isn’t because I have to know it, but because I have a passion to sincerely know about Christianity, and CHRIST in every part of it.

When it comes to factual knowledge and history of our faith, I know that much more people will probably know more about it. Some will know more because learning about it is something that has always been carried on in their life; others, because they’ve majored in Religion, Theology, or Christian studies and what not. HOWEVER, it will no longer affect me. If I am called for mission, I am called for mission. I may not be as knowledgeable or intellectually equipped as others, but that is something I cannot fully control.

“God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”

Of course, I know this should never be an excuse. I am still trying my very hardest to know more and more about my faith in the many ways I can. But I will never lose sight of His first mission for me: the call to LOVE. I must love all the people around me, the environment around me, and all else that surrounds me to truly understand and know His love. And it through this love, and the grace that follows, that He will equip me with what I need to carry on whatever missions lie ahead… And this brings me back to one of my life verses:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own insight.”
– Proverbs 3:5

“God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”