Bloated Needs

I rearranged my room last week. I was told that the 5-drawer cabinet will be taken to have more space in the room. At the back of my mind it’s a lot of stuff to do, to take out all the clothes or whatever was inside and put it somewhere in the closet – this means I have to rearrange my clothes in the closet, sort out again if there are stuff that I haven’t worn r used for a year (that’s my ultimate deciding factor if I can’t make up my mind if I give it away).

I noticed that I actually have a lot of clothes already – it accumulated! Most of it are gifts or hand-me-downs from CFCs. I have a pile of community shirts and some hoodies. I end up giving away 2 garbage bag-full of clothes and another bag for shoes and winter outfits. Now I can fit everything and just having what I need there…

Just having what I need there…

It is not “just” but it is really having what I need. As time passes by my personal idea of my ‘needs’ bloat that even those ‘wants’ it became a part of the need. I am reminded again of what Pope Francis said, “Certainly, possessions, money, and power can give a momentary thrill, the illusion of being happy, but they end up possessing us and making us always want to have more, never satisfied. ‘Put on Christ’ in your life, place your trust in him, and you will never be disappointed! It is the detachment of those who choose to live a sober and essential lifestyle, of those who, by sharing their own wealth, thus manage to experience fraternal communion with others. This is fundamental for following Jesus Christ and being truly Christian.” In other words choose a more humble purchase, a sober and essential lifestyle.

“Lord teach me and remind me always to choose a humble lifestyle, a sober lifestyle”

Flappybird

Yeah, that pixelated bird that can’t even flap properly.

This.

Initially I thought it would be about getting the bird into the pipes, you know like Mario. Well because the pipes look exactly like Mario. Only to find out that the point of the game was to get the bird across without hitting the pipes.  Lo and behold, you’ve got one of the most addicting games ever.

While playing the game (or gamessssszzzzsssss based on the unfortunate reality that you’ll have to play it several times before you top your previous score) I had this epiphany of sorts.

Flappybird is like our relationship with God!

Yep it is.

Here are my reasons:

1. Only through God’s grace are we able to fly. If not, we drop.

Nosedive

2. His timing is perfect.  Perfectly timed taps of grace that allows us to go through the obstacles of life called pipes. Which explains why at times we need to fall in order for us to rise.

Even when it seems impossible

3.  During the times we cease to open our wings to God’s much needed grace and we crash into a pipe, the Lord still chooses to play the game again not out of an addiction – but out of pure love that He wants to see us through.

You know He’s gonna hit the play button again.

While the analogy is lacking, the Lord loves in a crazier, bigger, unconditional way. He keeps on loving, even when it doesn’t make sense anymore. I thank God that He is God and not me,  because I would’ve quit a long time ago.

Lord, I know I don’t see the bigger picture but I trust that You are always there to raise me or allow me to fall when needed. Give me faith to trust when I can’t see past the obstacles before me. Give me hope that everything will be alright. Amen.

PS. My latest top score is 35. I don’t know how you guys get a 100.

PPS. This blog is also posted on my personal blog at  http://www.kevinmuico.com/2014/02/07/flappybird/

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Challenge Accepted

Last Saturday at Pacific’s BCCT (Basic Couple Coordinators Training) I was asked to give a share.

The sharer profile was a youth that
experienced CC’s bringing the youth back to their families.

Short intro, my family is not in the CFC community. I’m the only child and my parents are divorced. Living and growing up with my mom has been hard but a true blessing. Another addition to our family is her boyfriend of 7 years who is Muslim and coming from a Catholic background is definitely a challenge.

With these obstacles, evangelizing to my family, attending mass as a family, and opening up to my family about the CFC community is a challenge.

Ever since I’ve been active in the CFC-Youth community The Lord has slowly revealed Himself. This is where I thank the CC’s who have journeyed with my family and I.

CC’s have always been so welcoming and loving. Its so inspiring to see their dedication and passion to serving the youth. I know it’s inspired my mom.

Throughout my service my mom has been able to build friendships with the area CC’s. She’s been attending mass more frequently, she’s been more intrigued about what my service role is, what an MV does, what FTPW entails, and even about Handmaids of The Lord!

The Lord has been so good to my family but He’s truly shown the greater goodness of the CFC community. Wherever The Lord leads my family, I pray that it’s always towards to the Lord. We can only lead by example, so I thank God for the CC’s I’ve been able to serve with who live their lives as a true example of a leader.

Surely evangelizing is a challenge. The only way we are able to carry the cross of our challenge is to strengthen our prayer time. Making time and speaking to The Lord. Asking for Our Mothers intercession and staying close to those we’re evangelizing to.

It begins and ends with Love.

God is so good.

This Child

My mom and I at my baptism. Sorry for the bad quality!
My mom and I at my baptism. Sorry for the bad quality!

When I was a little kid, I found comfort and security in my mother’s arms so much that I  couldn’t sleep unless I I was resting in the softness of her skin. I felt like no one could harm me, I guess you could say I felt invincible. When I was scared or felt at danger, I always went to her. Just being near her was enough to feel completely at peace. I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t bother trying to think why I was at peace, I just let myself be at peace when I was with her.

As I reflect on this, I learn a little bit more what it means to have child-like faith, and the meaning behind the words of Jesus when He said “truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt. 18:3).

The Lord is reminding me to be like how I was when I was a child. I should never stop being a child when it comes to my relationship with Jesus and my Mother Mary. Being an adult, I might feel like I can protect myself physically and that I’m pretty self-sufficient. However, when it comes to my spiritual life, I know nothing. I am like a child all over again, not knowing many things, only knowing I need help. I need to depend on my Father and Mother for protection, nourishment, comfort, guidance, and growth.

As a kid, when I was sick, I didn’t know what could make me better. I depended on my mother’s remedies and her consultation with my doctor. I feel like that’s what Mama Mary does for me. She knows my spiritual sickness and provides the necessary remedies. She brings me to the Physician of my soul, Jesus Christ, and tells Him of my sickness. The Doctor listens to Her because He knows that She loves me very much and would like to see me get well. I cannot get spiritually well, unless I give myself to my Mother, and allow Her to take care of me.

Heavenly Father, help me to always recognize that I am truly a child in my spiritual life. That I know nothing at all—only that I need You, I need Your help, Your presence, and Your graces. Humble me, Lord, that I may be able to surrender my life into the hands of the Mother you have given me, to take care of me in every way.  Amen.

Purposefully Made

 

I could not and can not recall the amount of times I’ve asked the Lord about my validity not just as a leader but as a human being when I have nothing but brokenness. I’ve always struggled with comparing myself to others  ever since I was younger. I always felt different from everyone ever since I was a little girl, and having moved around a lot in my childhood that thought became part of my reality and my mentality. Everyone else was always moving in one similar/general direction, and I the opposite way. It felt like the Lord was always putting me through more struggles and challenges  and since I was on the journey “alone”, I ended up having to come up with coping strategies. Nobody else was there to help me get by.

It’s been the source of my tension and anxiety for a long time- the fear of being left behind, and being left alone. Broken. Battered. Shattered.

Then the past weekend, co-missionary K.M. shared about this Japanese art form, kintsugi.

I sat in my chair, trying to process this. How could someone want something simply for the fact that it was broken? How could someone say that they preferred damage over perfection? Or that damage was perfection?

God always works with irony.

I believe that the Lord simply wants me to learn to just love myself, especially the parts of me that are broken because that is where His blessings are poured out and most abundant. He called me knowing full well who I was. Still his love remains.

I was made different because there is a purpose specific to me.
I am made different because there is a calling designed just for me.

‘Sometimes the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them.’- Fulton Sheen

His plans are greater than mine. His ways are better than my ways. All I need to do is to give myself entirely to Him so that I can be bound together with His love and mercy, a signature of His divine grace.

“Once you have surrendered yourself, you make yourself receptive. In receiving from God, you are perfected and completed.”
― Fulton J. Sheen, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

5/52: Superbowl Sunday

Happy Feast of the Presentation of our Lord in the Temple!  Happy World Day for Consecrated Life!  Happy Superbowl Sunday! =)

The Superbowl is a great gathering of athletes and fans!  A culmination of a season’s worth of practices, wins and losses and hard work.  It’s the main event!  And even though this rings true today to some degree, a lot has also changed.  (Insert commercials)  Commercials really have nothing to do with the Superbowl, they play no role in whether or not ‘our’ team wins or looses, yet somehow they’ve become an integral part of the Superbowl.  So much so that companies are willing to spend an x-amount of money for a mere 30second window of your time.  30 seconds of your time that was drawn away from the main event.  And though I wish each commercial was rated G and promoted good values, those components don’t make clips go viral, nor do they sell the products they so cleverly convince you to want and long for.  These commercials lure our attention away from the main event.

Replace the Superbowl with Jesus Christ; the MAIN event if I ever knew one!  Now, think of all the ‘commercials’ in our lives that take our attention away from Him.  Think of all the things we’ve bought into and were consumed by when we should’ve been watching the plays on the field or practicing our passing routes to get through a tough defence.

We’re probably never going to get rid of the commercials at the Superbowl, nor are the ‘commercials’ in our lives ever planning to go away, but it’s not about them… it never was.  It’s about the MAIN EVENT, it’s about Christ, it’s about focussing on Him, it’s about watching Him follow through on each and every play….

4/52 : Growing Pains

When we were younger our bodies changed quickly to accommodate our growth.  Our parents and peers often told us to ‘grow up’ especially if we weren’t keeping up with our responsibilities or with the mental awareness deemed ‘fitting’ for our age.  Many times in our lives and through a various number of ways, we got pushed to grow.

But there are those times, where we don’t want to grow.  Of course we don’t want to; we’ve finally found our groove.  We know how things work and we’re fine with it.  We are comfortable and content.  We’ve found our comfort zone and refuse to deal with the discomfort we’d inevitably feel going past that.

But growth has a lot of positives! Growth forces you to learn from your mistakes.  Growth challenges you to react differently, to see if you are capable of whatever it is that you’re attempting.  Growth also allows you to shed your old self and your old life so that you are better able to embrace the newness of this new life.

More often than not, our Lord is behind these growing pains.  He allows for situations to happen in our lives so that we may learn lessons through them.  But He’s not just a teacher, He’s also our friend, willing to go through the growing pains with us!  He draws us near so that we may learn His voice and then He allows for silence so that we can learn to listen.  Yes, growth is hard but sometimes the best stuff, the best life is just outside of our comfort zone!

Thank you Lord for this never ending journey filled with growth and love.  Thank you for being patient with me and for pushing me to grow; grow closer to you and grow more in love with your people.