March 2014 – Page 3 – True North Missionaries Journal

Root Of It All

Gods love is so overwhelming. God, why do you love me so much? I’m not worthy of your love yet you graciously bless me with an abundance of your love and joy. Thank you for showing this love to me during Pacific Regions MCG (mission core group) Retreat.

I came halfway through the retreat. Tired, as I came from work not expecting to be overwhelmed by the amount of joy that filled the room. The evening was filled with fun, faith, fellowship, and freedom.

I witnessed love through the fellowship and passion I saw in each brother and sister,

I witnessed joy through each smile and laughter,

I witnessed faith in the posture of surrender every one had during praise and worship,

And I witnessed hope in the conviction each member had for their area.

This is where God affirmed that we are called to go back to the root of it all;the core of everything and simply just love.

We are nothing without love. Our service means nothing if we don’t do it out of love. Our friendships are nothing if love is not rooted in them. Our lives are completely empty if we don’t have love; if we don’t have Christ as our core.

Love comes first.

During praisefest, I couldn’t help but cry tears of pure JOY.

The reason why we are called as leaders, the reason why we are called to be sons and daughters of God, the reason why we continue to say yes, and the reason why we hope, is because of LOVE.

Let me ask God again, why do you love me so much when I am so unworthy of the love you grace me with?

It is because He loves US that we become worthy of the call.

God is the one who perfectly molds us, our strength and our light.

“Your heart will never be silent until you’ve found rest in Me. Your heart will always be searching. The longing of desires will continue to rage until you’ve been able to seek these answers to your emptiness.

I love you because I am yours and you are mine. You belong to me and I know exactly what is best for you. I never want you to settle for less than you deserve because you deserve everything I can offer you, it is only through this choice you make to accept My love and My perfect plan I have created for you. I love you because you are made perfect in My image. I love you because you belong to Me. Nothing you do will stop Me from loving you less.

Don’t be afraid to love Me. Once you’ve accepted My love, I promise to make you whole and fill the emptiness you carry with my merciful love, joy, faith, and hope.

Seek all these in your daily life, seeing good in all things and I will show you what is true, good and beautiful.

My child you are worthy.”

The Road Ahead

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Amen.”

St. Joseph, pray for us. Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us. Most Holy Family, pray for us.

Crazy Beautiful

I am now in the Maritimes, with plans to have visits and conduct CLP whenever, wherever and whoever is available. We planned to cover 3 areas, PEI, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. We almost got left out by the plane, because we never heard that they changed gate and our names were already broadcasted 🙂 …from Halifax we drove to Prince Edward Island and right away started a CLP. The CLP went well for the weekend and while we were attending mass just before dedication of the new members, we manage to met some young adults in the church and we talked about CFC and its Christian Life Program and they were interested, they agreed to have the CLP. So right after we finished the CLP dedication ceremony, we drove to another place for more or less an hour to start another CLP. We finished the second CLP early evening yesterday and praise God, the first and second CLP was victoriously finished with inspired new members for CFC, HOLD and SFC.

We have born again participants who after hearing all the talks shared that they wanted to go back to the catholic church already. And when we conducted the other CLP, we found out that our participants were actually at time finding it difficult attending masses because of distance and they have no car (these are migrant workers). We shared with the Bishop when we had a courtesy call to him and added that others are actually inclined to go to other denominations because there leaders pick them up. The good bishop said right away that he needs the addresses of this places and he will inform the priests and asks some Catholics to pick them up to go to church. The bishop further said, “CFC is a blessing to the diocese, share CFC to all parishes!”

PEI Bishop 2 — with Bishop Grecco of the Diocese of Charlottetown, PEI

Now, we are going to conduct Household Leaders Trainings. It’s funny because we can actually do it since everyone has no work now because there is a snow storm, so yes the storm becomes a blessing in times like these!

If there’s one reaffirmation of this trip so far, it is that, when it comes to mission we should seize every moment and opportunity that we can share Christ’s love. When we had the 2 CLPs, most of them shared how they were thirsty and hungry for Gods message. We can never wait for another day to conduct CLP, have one on ones, and assemblies because there are always people in need and one delay and one cancellation can have eternal consequences.

Tomorrow we will head to Halifax and so far this mission has been crazy beautiful because of a Crazy Beautiful God! 🙂

“Where my trust is…”

Philippines Week #6
Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Yesterday, my trust was tested

Yesterday marked my 37^th day

I’ve been in the Philippines for one month and a week

I didn’t realize it until today

Yesterday has past

But I will always remember it

I will cherish it

I am,

Standing today

This shows my trust in yesterday

Today,

I no longer need to trust in my yesterday

Because it has past

And because I will trust in what is to come

Even

When I am tested.

Today, I was put to the test

I’ve been realizing what has actually been happening to me

I’ve been realizing what will happen and

I’ve been realizing that this is not the end

But just barely the beginning

Each day

Allows me to pray more

Each day

Has become a different challenge

But,

Another obstacle being surpassed

I am brought to face My Reality

My prayer

My family

My Jesse

My service

My heart

It beats for the Lord

It beats for Love

It beats in the sight of unexpectedness

I am placed where the Lord will test the trust of my heart.

Tomorrow, my trust will be tested

I do not know what tomorrow brings

I will never know where it will take me

I would not want to know

Unless

It was given to me

I wake up each day

Realizing that I am living in my tomorrow

Which will then become my yesterday

It will always be a part of me

My hope in tomorrow affirms my trust

My love in tomorrow reassures my trust

My faith in tomorrow confirms my trust

In Him

Yesterday, my Trust was tested

Today, I was put to the test

Tomorrow, my trust will be tested

All day,

I will trust in no one but in the Lord.

Amen 🙂

Late But Just in Time

You know those days where you are expecting the day to go a specific way and then…

it doesn’t happen?

It was one of those days for me. I was expecting to go to work, hang out with friends before I leave for the Philippines and enjoy the company of friends. Well, didn’t happen.

Instead I went to work, went home, waited for a couple hours to see what was up, and ended up going to late dinner with my two younger cousins.

It bothers me when my day changes even just a bit…But praise God it did.

I ended up bringing my cousins to adoration here at about 11:50pm. Pretty late for a young high schooler and an elementary kid.

Long story short, we all sat together, in front of our Father, and just prayed together. I don’t know what they were praying for, or if they even understood what was going on in adoration but what I do know, was that the Lord was working.

It affirmed me of my duties as an older brother, a son, a friend, a role model that is reflecting the works of Christ to others…

After we left, we were just sharing with each other what we thought of what just happened and the thing that struck me the most was something so simple, but so beautiful.

My youngest cousin (Elementary school) asked me what the code was for the adoration chapel…In fact he kept asking me when is it open etc etc…I finally gave in to telling him the code.

What he will do with it? Only God knows.

But praise God. It was a bright and clear affirmation of what I am called to do. To be and bring Christ wherever I am.

A little late with my family, but just in Time. His time.

Deo Gloria

“Yes!”

My favorite joyful mystery is the Annunciation and one of my favorite prayers is the Angelus because I have doubted myself many times and it’s meaning is so beautiful to me.

When I say “yes” to doing something that I may not feel capable of or like doing, be it CFC-Youth service, chores, or giving someone a ride this story of Mother Mary always affirms me and reminds me of how great God is. In this story story He always reminds me:

When my Mother said “yes”, I dwelt within her, I do the same in you. Do not doubt what I can do through you.
My Mother’s “yes” brought Me. It brought love and salvation to the world. Imagine how much of Me you are bringing to others when you say “yes”.
Your “yes” is a continuation of my Mother’s “yes”. You become one with her and participate in the salvation of the world.
My mother walks alongside you.

Only by the grace of God through Mother Mary have I been able to say “yes”. Only with the virtues she provides can I be able to carry on strongly and joyfully in the mission of my home, CFC-Youth and everywhere else.

Totus Tuus

So be it

How fitting that on the Solemnity of the Annunciation I am prompted to recall the yes’s I have given to the will of God, in particular with this new path of discernment. Unlike Mary, of course, my yes was not so easily uttered.

Too many times have I deliberately ignored the Gabriels in my life, opting for messages of comfort rather than challenge. However, all of the greatest calls of God require the greatest sacrifices. In fact, any call from God, big or small, will demand less of self and more of Christ. So when I had spent what felt like years wrestling with the message of the Lord to simply open wide the door of my heart once and for all to becoming a mission volunteer, I, like Mary, was “much perplexed” (Luke 1:29). Actually, I was more petrified than anything else. There was nothing more frightening than coming face-to-face with the will of God. There was nothing more dismantling than recognizing the nothingness of myself and the everythingness of God, and if that weren’t enough, having to then acknowledge that even in my nothingness He still yearned for me. Wow. How could it be that in all of my resistance He still pursued my heart? It was precisely in these moments of prayer that I experienced my own intimate annunciations.

It became clear to me that I simply needed to stop dismissing and start discerning. I needed to stop fighting the Spirit. I needed to submit – not with a heart of defeat but with a heart of trust. After all, no one was ever left dismayed after saying yes to Christ, not Noah nor Moses, not Peter nor Mary – every yes to Christ is a yes to life and life to the full, at that.

Of course there are still moments where I am overtaken by doubt towards God’s will and power in my life, but I am comforted in knowing that if God can make fertile the barren (Luke 1:36) and bring divine life to the Virgin (Luke 1:35), He can do anything for me and through me, so long as I cooperate. This is the most difficult part of it all. Cooperating does not only require a free and faithful yes, but a yes that says “I accept any circumstance”, “I embrace every cross”, “I lay me down”.

My fiat to the mission volunteer program, among all the other changes in my life with graduation, job search, and relationships, is but an act of giving to the Lord what rightfully belongs to Him – myself. It is a sincere yes to give this path it’s due amount of discernment before shutting the door completely (as I’ve already prematurely tried to do, to no avail).

I am not convicted, at least at the present time, of any outcome of this yes besides emerging from the program a more faithful daughter of God, ready to do whatever He wants for me. With Mary as my model, I simply want to make myself His handmaid and bring Christ into the world. My yes for the Lord to use me for His glory is captured precisely in the words of Blessed John Henry Newman:

“God has created me to do Him some definitive service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission…He has not created me for naught.”

––
O Holy Spirit, spouse of Mary, discipline my heart to say “yes” without delay. Let my “yes” be given freely, without bitterness or resentment. Keep me from asking why but instead asking how. How, O Lord do you desire to use me today? How, O Lord can I please you today? I know that your requests for me will never be easy – it will be life changing and self-sacrificing, just as it was for the young Virgin. Whatever it may be, give me the heart to trust in the Father’s divine will and the feet to go with haste to do what I’ve been asked. O that I could bring Christ into this world as Mary did!