Friday, November 4, 2016
For the past couple of years, whenever I’m at a CFC-Youth event, I take a few moments to just look around. As I watch the youth interact, this wide grin grows on my face because there is just this incomparable joy and delight that I experience, seeing how great God is in young people. Especially now that I’m not considered a “youth”, it has only occurred to me that the youth I serve with are there because they choose to be. Sure, many of them are probably forced — or as I see it ‘highly encouraged’ — by their parents to serve, but at the end of the day, they are making the choice to be present, to put the time and the work in, and to be joyful when they serve.
Today I attended a CFC-Youth service meeting here in Edmonton. There was a lot of giggling and chatter as usual haha, but these youth in junior high, high school, and university all chose to be at that meeting. How they got there was by their own effort. How they presented themselves with joy was because it was how they decided to act.
Looking back, I know what it’s like to be their age. School is tough. Making friends and sustaining friendships can be challenging. Family life is not always perfect. Growing up is hard. All of these difficulties that they face beat on their heart, but I think they know so clearly — just as I probably must have known growing up — that despite all of these hardships, God is still so good for providing them with the grace to endure. Coming to meetings and serving at events is an additional responsibility, and yet they still see it worth their time and effort. It’s an incredible gift to witness because they could be doing a million other things on a Friday night, but they choose to be at a meeting; they choose to share victories; they choose to give service updates; they choose to ask for prayer requests; they choose to prepare their hearts for future events. This is all their choice.
After the formal meeting, our CC’s welcomed us to stay in their home to hang out. Some of the youth decided to play ping pong, others decided to record Liveloud promo videos or take part in the Mussisionary Challenge, while others decided to just catch up and laugh with one another. For myself, I got involved in a conversation with a couple of brothers, one of them a FTPW and the other was a younger brother whom I’ve seen grow up in the community.
The younger brother was sharing about his experience at a Come and See last weekend at the local seminary. During the conversation I hadn’t thought of it, but upon reflection, it’s truly a grace to see this younger brother be serious about his vocation. I remember at the beginning of 2016, this brother and I led Edmonton’s first Vocation Recollection together, and now to see him take that next step in trying to discover God’s great plan for him is so special because he made the decision to participate in that Come and See. No one forced him to go. He didn’t even attend with a friend. He went all by himself. It was all his choice.
The youth that grow up in the community, including a lot of my friends who have now fully transitioned into SFC, want to deepen their relationship with God, they want to experience His love, and they want to align their will with His will. God is using this community to change normal, regular people to think about sainthood seriously. In one of today’s Mass readings, St. Pauls says so clearly that our citizenship is in Heaven, and this truth is being planted in the hearts of young people in this community. How beautiful is that?
I can’t find any explanation as to why the CFC-Youth community (and the entire CFC community) is so beautiful other than the fact that God’s love is so beautiful. The way I see it: all the things that we go through and all the things that challenge us are no match for God. God always takes care of us in our many services to Him and He keeps us so close to His heart while we endure the many tribulations we face. All is grace, always.
I always thought that choice was a little bit scary because making the wrong choice has never sat well with me. (That’s Type A for you) But why should making the wrong choice scare me? Isn’t God always going to be there anyways? I can’t lose with God on my side. It’s impossible to lose.
I’m thinking that the point of this reflection wasn’t necessarily to reflect on how much I love serving the youth nor the beauty of God’s love in the CFC-Youth community, but is actually a gateway for me to remember the beauty of God’s love in me and for me. I’m always going to be faced with choices — some seemingly more incredulous, while others not so much. But the point isn’t whether I make the wrong choice or the right one. The point is that God doesn’t abandon those He loves, even when we fail. And this is because God always waits and He always hopes that we will choose Him.
I believe God knows me more than I know myself, and so I also believe that He is more in tune in recognizing the hunger I’ve had for Him while I’ve been so idle. And now, at this very moment, He is asking me a question that He has asked St. Peter, “Do you love me?” And my humble response is, “Of course Lord, you know that I love you!” His response: “Tend my sheep. Feed my lambs.”
Service to God cannot be seen as a burden. Going to mass, reconciling with God through confession, praying, showing mercy, being committed to responsibilities all cannot be seen as a burden. Yes, it can be extremely challenging, so much that it can cause me to perceive them as annoyances — but in making the choice to do all of these things and regarding them as blessings, is experiencing the truest freedom — the freedom to choose Christ despite all difficulties.
This is what freedom truly is. It isn’t choosing the good, nor the greatest good. It isn’t choosing the right, the wrong, the best, or the worst. Freedom is choosing Christ above all things, always. It is believing that I will surely fail, but that God will not. It is trusting that the road to holiness will be hard, but not so much as to destroy me. It is in knowing that although I may walk and stumble in darkness, God’s light will always pierce through.
