Tag: Trust

Uncomfortably Comfortable

To finally be living the dream is an awe-inspiring thing. When the Lord of the universe has made sense to the past 25 years of my life. Today I am living the dream, training for the best job in the world – a full time pastoral worker for CFC-Youth. I came into the training with high hopes and confidence that the Lord has truly prepared me for the task ahead. Having been in the community for the past 15 years, I thought I had the means and know how in order to deal with whatever training had in store for me.

Lo and behold, I am humbled by the very fact that God’s plan for me is greater than my own prideful outlook of myself. 12 days into the training, I am reminded that I know nothing, own nothing, and can bring nothing to the table that will compare to what God has brought forth ever since time began. A much needed reality check that God has called better and greater people to the mission before, today, and for sure – tomorrow. I am but a humble servant responding because of an unwavering and unconditional love that He has blessed me with.

A state of being uncomfortable is where I am at because the call entails transformation of being worthy of that very call and love. God is slowly and surely chipping away at hindrances that cause me stumble, and cause others to stumble because of me. He has redirected my direction from a “me” driven path to a path pointed to Him alone. And while each day is a struggle of clawing, crawling and limping my way towards the One who called – it is a very beautiful struggle. I am comforted by the fact that it is Him who put me here. That it is Him who is with me every step of the way.

Facing Fears; Facing the World

Often times, we find ourselves being judged by others. Whether it is family, friends, peers, co-workers, and even ourselves, we find that our every day is covered with judgements. And because of this, we begin to start changing our lives and the way we are so that we can free ourselves from the world’s judgements.

Today, I realized that knowing God is my greatest blessing. Why? Because at times that my thoughts begin to falter, like the way I have mentioned above (fearing judgement) the Lord always finds a way to snap me back into reality and take away all my fears. As I attended a Confirmation Mass in Windsor, standing as a sponsor, God spoke through the priest by talking about the truth to our faith. That despite of all the judgement we might hold against ourselves and from others; despite of how unworthy we feel, God is the only person that can look at you, smile, and despite of all the imperfections, can look at you and say “My child, come to me.” I laughed because it is true. How often do I look at myself and doubt what I am doing for God? How often do I penalize myself for things that I have no control over? It is not enough to simply overcome this SOMETIMES.

At mass, God reminded me that in every moment, in every second, and in every breath, the one thing that remains and always will is His love for me. If He isn’t judging me; if He is standing there, loving me through it all, then there is no reason to  doubt my worth. For as long as I am loved by the Lord, I must trust that my life and everything I hold dear is in His hands. And through my faith and through its works, I should have no fear for I am serving the Lord. As long as I live for His greater glory in His love, I will have no other fear than fear of the Lord.face my fears with all my strength, and face the world that may be judging me, and bring that same love – His love – into the world.

Trust in God

“My child, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, and do not be impetuous in time of adversity. Cling to him, do not leave him, that you may prosper in your last days. Accept whatever happens to you; in periods of humiliation be patient. For in fire gold is tested, and the chosen, in the crucible of humiliation. Trust in God, and he will help you; make your ways straight and hope in him. You that fear the Lord, wait for his mercy, do not stray lest you fall. You that fear the Lord, trust in him, and your reward will not be lost. You that fear the Lord, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.” – Sirach 2:1-9
Our Lord never ceases to fail us. Through the challenges we may face within the mission, God never fails. He calls each and everyone of us to listen and have an open heart to whatever He has planned. We need to trust in Him and trust that within this battle we face we can only conquer the victory with Christ Himself, for the battle is not ours to be won but God’s. Sometimes we get easily distracted by what we want in our own lives. Over-thinking, overanalyzing, and simply being ignorant of our surroundings. In this year of faith, may God provide us with the strength and humility to be witnesses to His plan and willingly obey His command.
Deo Gratias.