Tag: Reflection

Abundantly Blessed

Each and every single day the Lord blesses us from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep. Reflecting on the Sunday Gospels these past couple of weeks there was a similar view in them — the Vineyard Parables. Where we see Jesus teaching about how what we give here on earth, we will be blessed in Heaven.

“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven” — Matthew 5:12

Giving is not only a matter of donating money, clothes, food. It’s also a matter of giving of our time, talent and treasure. The Lord has blessed us with so much and is giving us so much more each and every single day! Only through the Lord’s grace are we able to give and share our blessings which are meant to be shared amongst others. So if I were to sum it all up in one sentence — each and every single one of us are abundantly blessed to abundantly give so that others can do the same.

Lord, we praise You and thank You for all the blessings you have given to us. Let us not take it for granted in any way, shape or form but instead, let us share our blessings to others so that they too, can feel your abundant Love. We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Christian Medeiros

An Invitation

The world is literally crumbling right now. It’s amazing how just one virus can bring the world to its knees. A lot of people are suffering and dying because of it. It brings us to the question, how could God allow something like this to happen? What is the good in all that is happening around the world right now? Where is God?

It’s funny because before everything happened I wasn’t really taking Lent seriously, it was more so as a routine for me. Actually I didn’t even realize it was Lent or take it in until I was at the Ash Wednesday mass. I went about this Lent just thinking that it is just another year where I have to get through these 40 days that nothing was going to come out of this. Man, was I ever wrong. Once COVID-19 started to get worse as the days went on, I began to realize what I was missing. It was hard not being able to go to mass, realizing that I was not able to be with Christ physically. With everything going on it is making me realize of how much I am missing and how much of my life is not centred around Christ. Here I am, at the beginning of Lent thinking it’ll be okay because I will continue to serve and that will be pleasing to the Lord. I’m not saying that serving Him is not pleasing, but when not putting Him at the centre of my life, I realized that my service becomes routine as well and just “another thing to do”. Now that I am not able to be with Him physically, I felt like it was all over. I realized that I relied so much on Christ being there physically present so much that I forgot that He is literally everywhere and in everyone we encounter.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” – Blaise Pascal

With everything that is going on and with a lot of reflection, I am realizing the aspects of my life that Christ is asking me to put Him at the centre. That with all that this world throws at us, God gives us the opportunities to be closer with Him. Suffering is an invitation to be closer with God. We are given a sliver of Christ’s cross to carry. Nothing that we are feeling – the pain, anger, tiredness, sadness, it is nothing compared to what Christ went through, bearing the whole world’s sins on His cross that He carried. The mere fact that Christ walked this earth shows just how much God wants to be present with us and a part of our lives. So I pray, continue to let Him into your hearts. Pray for me as well that I do the same. Make Jesus the centre of your life – in all aspects.

Lord, thank You for blessing us with this life, with the opportunities to encounter You. Lord, protect us from all that is happening right now in this world. So many are suffering but in the same way we know that You are hurt as well seeing us in pain. Protect those on the frontlines Lord – the nurses, doctors, janitors and all those who are putting themselves at risk with everything. Through this suffering Lord, allow us to seize those opportunities where we are able to bring you to the centre of our lives, but to also be a beacon of hope for those around us that aren’t seeing or experiencing Your love.

Amen.

Christian Medeiros

Moments with God

My greatest blessing would have to be the presence of my family. Whether it be a short amount of time to days on end. I cherish the time I spend with them only because we rarely have the time to really be together and have quality time. Not everyone can experience the closeness of ones relationship with their family, which is why I really hold them close to my heart, despite the hardship we go through, the Lord has taught me to be grateful.

Lately it has been difficult to really focus on one thing at a time. For example, when I’m with family, on the back of my mind I think about service. Especially during this time because of KFC Kids Village. As much as I love to be with my loved ones, I can’t help but think of all the tasks that needs to be done. Which ultimately takes away my “quality time” with them. Or when I’m preparing for something, I’m also thinking of another task I need to complete. It’s a vicious cycle my mind seems to go through. Needless to say my mind is in constant action, barely giving it a break.

Friday night during our Area Core Household, we had the privilege of having Kuya Noli, SFC Fulltime Worker give us a small exhortation. He introduced “Coffee Time with God” and what exactly that coffee time meant. As he went deeper into the topic, I realized that I haven’t been giving myself the time to really sit down and have that quality time with Christ, outside my prayer time, outside service and outside my family.

I have been blessed with an abundance of service the past couple of months and I know the Lord will continue to shower me with blessings. Needless to say my cup has been so overflown, He has quenched the thirst I have been yearning with such grace through this community. But I never really had the time to just really thank Him, sit down with Him, share and listen to Him.

Despite the busyness of our schedule, we must remind ourselves that our coffee time with God is just as important. Having this moment with Christ allows us to open our hearts to Him, just like we would with a friend we’re having a one-on-one with. The Lord doesn’t ask for much but to interact and communicate with Him. Like a sister was saying, we need to be honest with Him, we can’t ultimately assume He knows what’s wrong just because He’s God. Just like us, He yearns for interaction, intimacy and quality time with us. He wants to speak with us and listen to us as much as we want to with Him.

“Take a moment and relax with God. We must find rest and comfort in the Lord, because ‘it is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me'”. – Galatians 2:20

Crown of Creation

This past weekend I attended ‘Princess Diaries‘ that Toronto SFC hosted for all the sisters. I was excited to just be a participant and not have to worry about serving. But then a week before the event, Renee, the GTA West Head asked me if I could lead the Praisefest for Saturday night. And you know what happened that whole week before the event? PANIC.

I was so mentally drained from trying to figure out the dynamics of a worship, the order of the songs, the prayers that go before the songs, the appropriate songs, the transitions, and everything else in between. On Friday morning I reached some point of mental desperation and just exasperatedly told God that he really should have chosen someone else.

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To understand this more let’s look at the three  desires planted in every woman’s heart:

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a) the desire to be romanced
b) the desire to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure
c) the desire to unveil beauty

Those desires are often misunderstood which is why a lot of sisters end up broken. We turn to the wrong sources to fill the void. I myself sought those desires out in multiple people, men boys who had no other agenda other than to fulfill their own desires.

Fifteen minutes before the session ended (New Heartbeats) He granted me the grace and wisdom to finally see all the pieces come together. And when it finally sank in, I could not contain the peace, joy and love that was pouring out of my own heart!

He said,

“My dearest Therese. These desires are not something to be afraid of. Do not deny yourself these desires because each one will lead you closer to me. Do you not already know that every movement in your heart is known to me? I fashioned that very thing that beats inside of you. Unite it with my sacred heart and will understand better the plans I have for you, as woman.”

 

THE DESIRE TO BE ROMANCED, I placed in you so that you will come to me in Adoration. I will embrace every part of you in the silence. Come to me, and I will pour myself out to you. Do not be afraid to glance out at me for I long to look out at your face. Each time you come, the heavens rejoice. This is where you belong, this is where you are meant to be- here with me. My beloved I have waited for you and you are finally here! Have FAITH that I am here.

THE DESIRE TO PLAY AN IRREPLACEABLE ROLE, I placed in you so that you will come to the House of Worship and receive me in the Holy Eucharist. Come to me exactly as you are. You say to me, Lord but I am broken, battered, shattered.  And His reply: “But I NEED YOU. YES, YOU.” From the moment you receive me on your tongue you become the ultimate living tabernacle and you are NO longer broken, battered, shattered. I pour out my Holy Spirit within you, and my love which is far more precious than gold will bind you back together. There will always be HOPE.

THE DESIRE TO UNVEIL BEAUTY, I placed in you so that you will come to me in Confession. No sin you’ve committed, no sin that you are committing, no sin that you will commit can ever be too much for my cross. Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who humbles herself and acknowledges her weaknesses and limitations. All those layers you choose to hide behind, the masks you choose to wear around you will all be washed away. In every single instance, you come out as clean and pure just as I intended for you to be. I meet you with nothing but LOVE.

Wow. Praise the Lord. I could not contain myself in that tiny little seat. The Lord fulfilled ALL THOSE DESIRES in me within the past 24hrs! He granted me my trinity run; Adoration at Our Lady of Lourdes the night before, Confession before the last session, and Eucharist shortly after. The Lord loved me so much that He made straight my paths right before I stood before my sisters with a heart that was now READY AND WILLING.

“You, eternal trinity, are a deep sea. The more I enter you, the more I discover, and the more I discover, the more I seek you.”- St. Catherine of Siena

Amen.

Trinity Run

Winter is fast approaching, and I can already feel my body starting to switch over to hibernation mode. Soon enough it’ll be too hard to get up out of bed, nearly impossible to escape out of those double duvets. Tis the season for excusing our way out of health habits.

I used to run regularly to maintain some sort of physical activity but that died down since who knows when. Spring is always difficult to face after long winters because of the three month break. I personally loathe treadmills and will refuse to get on one. I’d rather wait. I much rather prefer the great outdoors, but Toronto winter weather does very little to help with that. Daylight savings mean shorter days and longer nights. It takes approximately two weeks to adjust. My body is definitely losing on this front.

Our spiritual health suffers from the same changes. We have cycles where we’re going  strong- we’ve found some sort of groove with our prayer time and involvement with the sacraments. At these moments, our relationship with Christ is toned and trimmed. Excess weight cut off. The closer we get to Christ the less baggage we carry- our material and worldly desires no longer necessary. We are tied down to less.

But then, at some point, we face an itch of sorts. An itch that just needs to be scratched. A craving that just needs to be satisfied. A thirst that needs to be quenched. But instead of reaching for the healthy & obvious choice of water we go for the Coke. Pepsi. Ginger Ale. Root Beer.  And just like that, our impenetrable fortress comes crashing down. Why? Because we foolishly ignored that cracked wooden frame that started to break- little by little. It was easier to feign ignorance to something that needed fixing. It’s easier to give in and let our human needs win.

“I’m only doing it once.” I still exercise anyway. Cheating won’t hurt.” 

That’s what I realize happened to me. And for some reason or another, I kept making excuses and reasoned my way out of a very fruitful, beautiful prayer habit. It only took one small “set back”. I cut down my prayer time, my weekday church dates, and adoration drop ins so that I could bulk up on old habits which I knew were only going to get me in worse (spiritual) shape.

Negative thoughts filled my head. I became impatient, moody, and lethargic. Two weeks passed since my last confession, and although I knew I needed it PRONTO …my body would magically (temporarily) shake off the anxiety. It made me think I could keep going. Nyeh, it can wait.

Nope.

Confession is our detox. Our body needs to get rid of built up toxins the same way our soul needs to get rid of impurities. Getting through it is tough, but we always come out healthier afterwards. Praise God, for God because I finally went for that detox round. He knew I needed it. And I knew I needed it. The hardest step is always the first, the hardest run is always the most dreadful.

Our prayer life can be a long outstretched summer. However if we trip and fall into the darkness of winter, we shouldn’t despair. We don’t have to endure three months of waiting. We can choose to fast forward to spring.  My winter lasted 8 days too long, but today’s TRINITY RUN (adoration, confession and Holy Eucharist) allowed me to see the Son rise gloriously. Thankfully, our salvation and redemption is not bound by time, because we are loved by a God whose love is endless and timeless. 

 “A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from His love.”
-Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Home.

With the amount of times that I’ve had to travel within an eighteen month time frame, most people would assume that I no longer suffer from homesickness. The past three trips (2009, 2012, 2013a) have been by myself; the shortest trip lasting 8 weeks and the longest lasting 6 months. Most people base their judgement on my social media posts and are probably thinking, “Dang, she is living the life.”

Well, reality check: I still suffer from homesickness. I still feel somewhat lost even though I’ve revisited Place A, B and C more than a handful of times. I still feel out of place in a room full of old friends and the nausea that accompanies displacement is very much real.

All those things still exist. Even now. Even when my family is here with me. We all haven’t been together in a very, very long time. Dad’s had to work out of town for the past 2 years and my brother’s had to live away at Waterloo ever since he started his Undergrad. And me, well…..I’ve been traveling to PH.

A few days into our family trip here, I was still feeling so bothered. My temper kept getting the best of me. I grew impatient and volatile. I couldn’t understand it. Shouldn’t my family have cushioned the hypothetical “emotional blow” that always hit me during my trips? Shouldn’t the weird jumble of emotions have stopped because I was with my loved ones? The anger and frustration drained me so much that one night, I decided to just leave the group. The innermost depths of me was craving for something. I didn’t know what that something was, but what I did know was that going to God wouldn’t leave me any more desolate than I already was. So I looked for a church.

I ended up at Sto. Rosario. I got through confession. I kneeled at the Adoration Chapel. I sat through Mass and received Holy Eucharist. And you know what? For the first time I felt good. Not just ice-cream-on-a-hot-sunny-day good, but ‘passing my final exam with flying colours and making the honour roll’ kinda good. I was a fish out of water that suddenly found my way back to the water. I could breathe again.

As I contemplated at the Adoration Chapel I was reminded of a promise I made to Him during the SFC precon praisefest. It just so happened to my birthday too. I told God that I was willing to finally give Him the one part of me that I hadn’t let go of yet- a very specific piece of my heart that was put on reserve. I didn’t have the strength to fight that fourteen year battle any more. It took me that long to surrender. That day He said to me, “Exodus 14:14, my beloved. Do not forget. I will fight for you, you need only to be still.

In the presence of the Eucharist and in front of the altar, I felt God whisper me to me, “Therese, my dearest Therese. You silly stubborn girl. Remember what you offered at the foot of my cross weeks ago? Remember that you promised me you’d finally give that last piece to me? Home is where the heart is and yours just so happens to be with me. It’s safe. It’s in my hands now. I’m happy that you finally found your back. My child, right now at this very moment …you are home. I’ve been waiting.”

All the puzzle pieces fit.
It all made sense.
I felt this sudden rush of peace, of final certainty.

Everything in this world is temporary. Even my family. But God, God is infinite. God is timeless, boundless and endless. I am made to stand in His presence, to bask in the love that is always present in His house.

 

Father, I’m coming home.
Amen. 

Reaching Out

If I only touch his garment, I shall be made well. – Matthew 9:21

Often times our response to God’s call is predicated by His ability to provide certain affirmations. We tell the Him, “Lord, give me better grades / give me a better job / a better salary / heal my aunt’s cancer / fix my broken family / etc, before I answer your call.”

Today’s gospel (Matthew 9:18-26 for July 8, 2013) on the other hand shows us how the Lord works wonders if we do things in faith first. The woman who has been sick for 12 years already had faith that her reaching out to the Lord will heal her. It was her action to touch the edge of the Lord’s garment, of a faith reaching out to the Unknowable Almighty, that made her well.

“Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And instantly the woman was made well. – Matthew 9:22

Maybe all we need is a faith that reaches out to the Lord more often than we say to the Lord to do things for us. The Lord knows all our needs, Jesus did not need to know about the woman’s sickness. He told the woman that her sickness was healed the moment she touched His garment.

Faith leads us to action which then leads to miracles.

Lord, may our faith reach out all the more to You. That our action in itself be our act of faith that opens the door to miracles. Amen.