Tag: Prayer

Note to self: Don’t forget to pray

I have to be careful not to let busyness take priority over my time with the Lord. The more I have to do, the more I should be praying. I fall into the temptation and believe that I am more effective if I do more and pray less. I need to remember to get on my knees and listen. If I forget to listen, I will serve aimlessly and be easily caught up with the things that are seen. I will be easily disappointed and frustrated.

Heavenly Father, I praise You. Thank You for Your goodness and mercy. Lord, increase my faith! Take me out of my tunnel vision and open my eyes to limitlessness Your sovereignty. Help me to escape from my ego and lean not on my own understanding. Come, Holy Spirit! Your will be done.

Home.

With the amount of times that I’ve had to travel within an eighteen month time frame, most people would assume that I no longer suffer from homesickness. The past three trips (2009, 2012, 2013a) have been by myself; the shortest trip lasting 8 weeks and the longest lasting 6 months. Most people base their judgement on my social media posts and are probably thinking, “Dang, she is living the life.”

Well, reality check: I still suffer from homesickness. I still feel somewhat lost even though I’ve revisited Place A, B and C more than a handful of times. I still feel out of place in a room full of old friends and the nausea that accompanies displacement is very much real.

All those things still exist. Even now. Even when my family is here with me. We all haven’t been together in a very, very long time. Dad’s had to work out of town for the past 2 years and my brother’s had to live away at Waterloo ever since he started his Undergrad. And me, well…..I’ve been traveling to PH.

A few days into our family trip here, I was still feeling so bothered. My temper kept getting the best of me. I grew impatient and volatile. I couldn’t understand it. Shouldn’t my family have cushioned the hypothetical “emotional blow” that always hit me during my trips? Shouldn’t the weird jumble of emotions have stopped because I was with my loved ones? The anger and frustration drained me so much that one night, I decided to just leave the group. The innermost depths of me was craving for something. I didn’t know what that something was, but what I did know was that going to God wouldn’t leave me any more desolate than I already was. So I looked for a church.

I ended up at Sto. Rosario. I got through confession. I kneeled at the Adoration Chapel. I sat through Mass and received Holy Eucharist. And you know what? For the first time I felt good. Not just ice-cream-on-a-hot-sunny-day good, but ‘passing my final exam with flying colours and making the honour roll’ kinda good. I was a fish out of water that suddenly found my way back to the water. I could breathe again.

As I contemplated at the Adoration Chapel I was reminded of a promise I made to Him during the SFC precon praisefest. It just so happened to my birthday too. I told God that I was willing to finally give Him the one part of me that I hadn’t let go of yet- a very specific piece of my heart that was put on reserve. I didn’t have the strength to fight that fourteen year battle any more. It took me that long to surrender. That day He said to me, “Exodus 14:14, my beloved. Do not forget. I will fight for you, you need only to be still.

In the presence of the Eucharist and in front of the altar, I felt God whisper me to me, “Therese, my dearest Therese. You silly stubborn girl. Remember what you offered at the foot of my cross weeks ago? Remember that you promised me you’d finally give that last piece to me? Home is where the heart is and yours just so happens to be with me. It’s safe. It’s in my hands now. I’m happy that you finally found your back. My child, right now at this very moment …you are home. I’ve been waiting.”

All the puzzle pieces fit.
It all made sense.
I felt this sudden rush of peace, of final certainty.

Everything in this world is temporary. Even my family. But God, God is infinite. God is timeless, boundless and endless. I am made to stand in His presence, to bask in the love that is always present in His house.

 

Father, I’m coming home.
Amen. 

Ora Et Labora

papa

Every 4:45 in the morning, regardless of where he has been and what he has done the night before, would wake up and open his bible. He would sit up from the couch he loved to sleep on, do the sign of the cross, and be silent in his prayers for the next 15-20 minutes. After that, he would dress up for his morning jog and be back after 30 minutes to either do weights or play basketball outside his house. He would then shower and eat his breakfast which his wife prepared. Pray over his kids right before he left, then work hard until noon. Every lunch time when the siren signalling noon would sound off, he would make his way home riding a tricycle for 5 minutes and he would have his lunch, turn on the tv and then watch his favorite noon-time show Eat Bulaga. He would laugh for a bit then turn it off after a few minutes. He would take his afternoon nap for 15 minutes, then take another shower before he would make his way back to work. From 1pm til 5pm, in fact it would usually be til 7pm because he liked to work over time. He worked hard because it not only provided for his family, but he felt loyalty for the company that provided work for his father too ,which also provided for his family while growing up. He would come home, talk to his kids and wife, eat his dinner with his family, then he would be off to an activity for Couples For Christ almost every night. If he was home, he would turn on the tv, watch some news or basketball depending on which was on. But more often than not, he was at an activity with Couples For Christ. This whole regimen happened during weekdays and weekends. Though for weekends his overtime at work would only be during the first half of the morning, because he would usually spend noon til 3pm with his family at a mall then go home to play basketball. A CFC activity would be his schedule right after. On Sundays, mass would take priority; he would go to work right after to clock in work as much as he can before he would go home right in time for lunch with his family at a mall. Then be back home by 3pm for his weekend basketball usually with his son. Then off to another CFC activity.

Rain or shine, sick or healthy, whether he felt like it or not – his daily regimen was followed to the T. Morning prayers set the tone which gave direction to his day, to his work. For him, it was ora et labora, Saint Benedict’s motto, to pray and work. Nothing fazed him. For him prayer was everything, and work was his prayer. It provided him a means to support his family, and also provided him a means to do his mission work in Couples For Christ. He kept the tenth of his wage, the other tenth was for God, the other eighty percent was for his family. With the tenth that he had, he would still give it to the Church and to whomever borrowed money from him for some emergency.

Even when he was struck down with cancer, his regimen did not change. Prayers in the morning, work in between, then CFC later in the day. It was only when he was bed-ridden, that he was limited to only his prayers. Since work was no longer possible. His last breath was spent affirming a youth leader for CFC for doing her work in the ministry of CFC-Youth For Christ. He lived, worked, and breathed his prayers into life.

I am proud to call this man my father! His prayers moved him to work, his work became his prayer!

So how do you honor a man who was all about prayer and work, by turning prayer to work and work to prayer, by becoming a missionary.

Happy birthday Pa!

May the mission I undertake for the God you served, produce more people like you. 

PS. My Father would have been 57 today. If you read this, please do offer a prayer for him. 

This reflection is also cross posted on my own blog: http://www.kevinmuico.com/2013/07/10/oraetlabor/

Reminded.

Today ends my 5 day trip to New York City. Time well spent with family. It’s been years, eight to be exact, since I last saw my aunt’s family who lives in New York City. This was planned way before I actually went for Full TIme Pastoral Work, that my family already booked their work off since last year.

Right before the trip, I already had doubts concerning its timing considering its right in the middle of the True North Conference season preparation. But now as I travel back to GTA and catch up with all the things that have been happening since I left, I am reminded of that this trip was the reason why I am in the mission in the first place.

I am called to be a missionary – a family evangelizer – through the community of Couples for a serving in its youth ministry, CFC-Youth. God called me to answering the call of the vision of CFC of families in the Holy Spirit renewing the face of the earth and take a very active part in it. While my calling takes me far away from my own family who lives in Calgary, and I am based in the Greater Toronto Area. I must never lose sight that the mission of building the Church of the home always starts and ends in my own home. It is through them that God called me to mission work, it is through them that I draw strength in mission, it is through them that my own intentions are purified, it is through them that my inspiration is placed upon. It is through them that my missionary zeal and passion is tested. It is through them that my faith, hope, and joy is tested; and more importantly affirmed.

As I go back to Canada, which is a few hours away, I take away with me a renewed conviction and affirmation that I am in the right path. When I said YES to the Lord, I did not only say yes to the renewal of families I will be serving – but more importantly, I also said to the renewal of my own family.

Come Holy Spirit, renew the face of the earth. Come Holy Spirit.

Happy 32nd Anniversary Couples For Christ!

A Spiritual Balance

“(But) take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

“When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

“When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.

I still can’t get over with the homily last Wednesday. It was from Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-18. It was a gospel about the proper posture in almsgiving, prayer, and fasting. At first I thought this is just a guide how I can execute it better if ever I choose to do any of it.

 As I continue on reflecting and asking God what else in the gospel that He wants me to live out, He brought a different way of understanding the three. I believe He is telling me that in order for me to stay close to Him, prayer is not enough. There has to be a balance of the the 3 – almsgiving, prayer and fasting. That my lifestyle at all times will revolve around the 3- to give cheerfully, pray faithfully, and fast regularly.

Personally praying at all times is given, it’s a must. However my view on fasting and almsgiving is different, I still see it as an option and can be done only on when I want to. The Lord is telling me to do all of these at all times. I believe that the best way to feed my spiritual life is by living out the three.

“Lord you are God and in you all things are created. You made us in your image and likeness. Teach us to live our lives like your Son Jesus – He practiced almsgiving, prayer and fasting. May I be able to do the same. Lord may all three be my lifestyle as I continue on growing in the spirit. May I cheerfully, faithfully and regularly do it.“

Candy

Philippians 1:29

Extremely Favoured

Thirty minutes after my shift ended today, I walked into my director’s office with a heavy cloud looming over me, and no it wasn’t the one outside that’s been causing all this crazy rain here in the GTA. Approximately 23 days from today I will be hopping on a plane (again) but this time with my family.

I was sure that I’d be coming home with bad news today- that our upcoming family trip would cost me my job. We will be gone all of July which means that I’ll be missing out on my service for the Eastern True North Conference. Since I didn’t feel too comfortable with that, I started a novena for the Western True North Conference in Calgary that’s happening Mid-Aug. I’d be back just in time for that. I don’t know how it would be possible financially, but God has provided for me under worse conditions before. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

To put things in perspective, I was just granted a two month leave (MAR-MAY) even though I only started in September of last year. I’m only five weeks back in my classroom and here I was expecting my director to approve another sudden leave of absence. How was I going to explain to her that I needed 2 months….again?

———

I knew I had to call on Mama Mary so I did the rosary during my lunch break hoping that she’d send an extra serving of peace. She gave me that and a spoonful extra. Knowing how I am, I knew I’d find every excuse not to ask permission today. So I walked into the staff room, had a quick convo with God and He reassured me that no matter what the outcome would be, there was already a victory. Even if I was to lose my job, I would still have my family vacation.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths || Proverbs 3:6

Brothers & sisters, I walked out of that room not with storm clouds, but with sunshine and a double rainbow. I am extremely and irrevocably favoured by God. Not only did my director tell me that my leave would be approved, she made it very clear to me that she would ignore any talk of resignation. My classroom is secured. AGAIN. My job as a preschool teacher is on reserve.

That’s not all.

I will be receiving paid vacation time, which means that there’s an extra paycheque coming in while I’m gone. That amount is enough for a round trip ticket to Calgary.

“It’s never about whether or not YOU can provide for yourself. Faith is knowing that you have a God who can do wonders for you. Faith is knowing that He is of divine providence. It was never about you to begin with! So the next time you consider whether or not you can go, take your question to God first, and don’t let it just die with you. That’s the beauty about our relationship with the Lord. Sometimes we don’t even do anything yet he still showers us with abundant blessings. He still wants to keep capturing our hearts. He still wants to reach out to us. But first you have to allow yourself to see the ways in which he tries to reach out to you. All he needs is your Yes.” (July 19, 2012)

The Lord hasn’t stopped showing me how extremely favoured and extremely loved I am. He affirmed me just now by allowing me to reread that old blog post. Little did I know that the “yes” I gave 500 days ago would lead me here, walking on a path made wonderfully and beautifully paved straight for me. 

The Giver!

I will serve the Lord when He gives me “X”!

X = Being a favourable situation, person, object, grades, timetable, salary, co-workers, bosses, etc

How many times have I heard this in one-on-ones, in a random sharing, or when conversations focus on a person’s ” game plan” for his/her life. In fact most of the time I fall into this trap myself. I will serve the Lord when He has fixed my family’s finances. To give a talk when He has prepared for me the right conditions: no rain or snow, someone picks me up and takes me home, food is available, ample time for me to prepare preferably two weeks in advance, etc. When He gives me a good salary so I can save up for my future family.

While all of this is well and good, it is easy to fall into a trap of taking comfort in the gifts and blessings. That when these comforts are taken away, and for sure they will be, that our service suddenly stops because our parameters for service are taken away.

The gifts that the Giver gives are blessings and comforts that He bestows on us for us to better know and experience Him. The Giver is in fact infinite, and therefore His gifts can come in an infinite number of forms. His blessings can come in the form of a sunrise, in fact any person can sense God nature of how wondrous it is. But it takes a different kind of sensitivity to see the gifts in our day-to-day struggle. When deadlines are choking us. When our bosses are breathing down our necks in order to deliver our company’s needs. When our family members are sick. When relationships are tested. When moths come out of our wallets.

It is when our parameters of service change that our focus on the Giver allows us to be sensitive enough to see that the gifts He is giving us has changed. It is when we recognize these gifts that we come to know and experience Him better. Our focus then lies in the Giver of gifts, and not on the gifts themselves.

Our yes to Him is our yes to Him not because we say yes to what He gives us, but because it is Him we say yes to. Our service then becomes definite, purposeful, and unstoppable because the focus is on the Lord and on nothing else.

I will serve the Lord because He has given me “X”.

X = Himself

 

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

Veni Sancte Spiritus.

Come Holy Spirit.

Consume us. Refine us. Purify us.

Fix our eyes on You.

Veni Sancte Spiritus.