Mother Mary – True North Missionaries Journal

Joyful Mystery

From the Annunciation to the Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple. There is a lot of uncertainties within this series of decades in the Holy Rosary. It makes you wonder, why is it called the Joyful Mystery? The title of each decade is very exciting and it holds a beautiful story, but when we look deeper into each story what does it really say.

I was very inspired to write this reflection based off of Fr. Mike Schmitz’s video on “Having Joy in the Uncertainties”, which made me then realize the joy in the midst of this life of suffering. Momma Mary, in the Annunciation was approached by the angel Gabriel and was told that she would bare the Son of God. In response she said “Let it be done unto me according to thy word”, I never realized this until I watch the video with Fr. Mike, was that the very next sentence was “then the angel departed from her”. Can you imagine being in that moment, being told that you are going to have within you the Son of God and that was literally it? No context or anything. Like where do you go from there? No one told Mary and Joseph that they would have to go to Bethlehem and give birth to Christ in a manger. No one mentioned that they would have to flee to Egypt to save their Son from being killed. No one told Mary that she would have to witness her Son be tortured, spat on and crucified. There was so much uncertainty that the only thing that was certain was and still is the past. Yet, Momma Mary was still joyful. The Apostles were still joyful, they spread the Good News throughout the world. Through their suffering came out a lot of joy.

It is very humbling to know that in this life of suffering, there is joy that will follow. Yet, we do not know when or where that will come but we remain hopeful. I know for myself in this pandemic, at the beginning of the year, everything was set in stone, I was ready… then the NBA got cancelled, that’s when I knew things were going to change. It was so humbling for me to realize that everything can just be taken away in the snap of a finger. There was so much that was unexpected at that point in time that I had no choice but to rely on God and entrust myself to His will. It was hard to remain hopeful but after households, after one to ones I felt the joy and the hope that the Lord was wanting me to feel. To understand that I was being called to love in the uncertainty, to be joyful in the midst of the suffering. There is so much that I do not know and I can only pray the Lord, for you and I both, gives us the heart to overcome the world. To love beyond our capacities. There is joy and hope because God is with us.

Lord God, help us to entrust our lives to You in the midst of these times. There is so much uncertainty but with You we find hope and joy. Give us the strength to carry on. This we ask through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Christian

Momma

Dear Momma Mary,

Since I was young I always knew you were just there. I’ve never really seen the importance of your presence in my life. So I want to take this time to say I’m sorry. Sorry for denying you, for pushing you to the side and for not acknowledging you and what you have done in my life. I can’t help but be hurt for the hurt that I’ve must have brought to you through my sins, my failures and just my stupid decisions. The amazing thing is, just as a mother always does, you still love me. Through thick and thin. So with that Momma, I would love to thank you, for never letting me go and for showing me the way to your Son, Jesus. In the times I struggle please continue to be there for me, with your most holy intercession. Draw me closer to your Son. I know that I still struggle to pray for your intercession and to acknowledge you in my life, but know that I am trying and will continue to.

So Momma, thank you and I love you.

Love,

Christian Medeiros

The Sorrowful Mother, who is also the Cause of Our Joy

The first time I had ever learnt about Our Lady of Sorrows was when I attended a Come and See retreat with the Sisters of Providence in February 2013. At the time of the retreat, I remember feeling very nervous because I was the only participant and because I was afraid that God was calling me to a way of life that I felt I wasn’t prepared for. As the weekend progressed, I grew to enjoy my time with the sisters learning about their foundress and Our Lady of Sorrows, but I couldn’t understand them nor their way of life. I felt that their charisms were interesting, but the thought of deep sorrow and suffering didn’t resonate with my life because it contrasted with the CFC-Youth culture, which was always vibrant, lively, and joyful for me.

In October that year, a turn of events occurred and so I began to fall into intense anxiety, constant worrying, and issues regarding my self-worth. I kept this pain to myself for months because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I didn’t want people to worry about me. And I didn’t want to classify myself as depressed if I wasn’t and for other various reasons. I thought that being quiet about my suffering was the ‘best’ way to deal with it because I thought if I had said anything it would just feed the fire, and I would never get out.

A few months later I returned to the Sisters of Providence, except this time with other CFC-Youth brothers and sisters. At this event the sisters briefly introduced their foundress and charisms. However this time, I understood the connection between their foundress, Bl. Mother Gamelin, and Our Lady of Sorrows. They had expressed that Bl. Mother Gamelin found consolation for the loss of her family members in Mother Mary because of the pain she endured while following the life of her Son, Jesus Christ, especially at the point of His crucifixion. Furthermore, Bl. Mother Gamelin realized that Mother Mary experienced greater pain and suffering than she did because Mother Mary not only saw her Son on the Cross, but her God. This gave way to her understanding that she not only could find consolation in Mother Mary, but Mother Mary could find consolation in her.

At this moment, I was taken aback, almost mind blown because I imagined the intensity of Mother Mary’s deep sorrow, so I, too, found myself sympathizing with her, wanting to console her. Upon reflection, this made me realize that Mother Mary understood my suffering; maybe not in the same way, but in a much greater way as her commitment to God’s will meant the salvation of the entire world from generation to generation. This set as one of the beginning steps to my love for Mother Mary and having the desire to become closer to her.

Today as the Catholic Church celebrates the feast of the Solemnity of the Annunciation/Incarnation, also sometimes coined as Mother Mary’s first yes, I wonder at the thought as to how Mother Mary must’ve felt during this specific time of her life. I would like to believe that although she may have worried about what was to come in her life and was humbly surprised that God blessed her among women, that she experienced an unsurpassable joy, having God’s grace outpoured from her womb while carrying Jesus Christ.

For the longest time I had taken the rosary for granted, and to know that the Annunciation is the first of the joyful mysteries makes complete sense to me now. The joy of Christ coming to this world impacts all human beings, including Mother Mary — how her joy must have been great and complete! I’ll be honest and say that I only know this much and probably nothing more, but I look forward to learning more about Mother Mary, to love and appreciate her more, and to give everything to her in joyful hope that she presents it to the Lord perfected.

In Mother Mary’s life I have found this truth in love where there is a juxtaposition between its many fruits.

Where there is great love, there is great suffering; and where there is great love, there is great joy; and where great suffering and great joy converge at a perpendicular as to form a Cross, there is great love. This love brings about a resounding peace, which cannot be disturbed when the mind and the heart are fixed towards God’s will. Nothing stands in between the woman, like Mother Mary, whose obedience is blind, but perfect. The woman does not fall short when in the constant presence of Christ, but rises with Him (again). So it is worth experiencing great suffering, great joy, and great love now than later because in Heaven the first is no longer present, and the two latter are far more amazing than we can imagine.

Although it’s nothing new to me, I’m beginning to understand more that in serving God and His people, there will be a series of varying emotions passing through the heart, but it is always up to me to accept God’s grace and love in order to do His work and fulfill the role that God has entrusted to me to do. With Mother Mary at my side, she sets as a prime example for me to do what I am called to do: to have joy now, to suffer now, and most importantly and overall, to love now.

Mother Mary, Our Lady of Sorrow and the Cause of our Joy, pray for us. Inspire us to love like Jesus Christ, your Son and God.

Amen.

Presentation to the Present

PresentMary

On Friday, November 21, the Church celebrated the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The first reading that day, from the Book of Revelations, spoke of John eating the scroll given by the Angel. He ate it and and described it as “sweet as honey” in his mouth but then was made bitter in his stomach, just as the angel said it would. After the first reading, the responsorial Psalm was “How sweet to my taste is your promise!” How truly sweet are the promises of God—how beautiful, true, and good they are. I hear His words with great affection and allow it to enter my life so sweetly, but the bitterness is not in His promises, it’s my stomach. It’s in my heart and my stubbornness to truly allow His words to take root and change me.

However, there is hope for me because Jesus is at work in me just how He was at work at the temple when He drove out the bitter money changers and all those who turned the house prayer into a den of thieves (Gospel reading). By my own sinfulness, disobedience, selfishness, and pride, I have turned by body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, into a den of thieves. Because of this, what should be a house of sweet prayer and worship of God, has been turned into the worship of so many other things. Despite my sinfulness, my Lord Jesus heroically and fearlessly drives out from my heart what should not be there each time I present myself to Him.

The Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary reminded me that my posture should be like Her’s, that is, one of presentation to the Lord, Who is the gift—the present. To present myself to the Present is to allow Him to do what He wants to me, with me, and in me. It’s to allow Him to drive out the things that are hindering me from true worship of the one true God. It’s about being obedient to the Church and His Mother which He has given me, to make me pure and holy, without blemish. It’s to allow Him, by His workings through the Sacraments and every grace, to make me a saint.

May Your Word, O LORD, be sweet as honey in my mouth, and most especially in my heart. May I not be bitter in receiving Your Love and allowing it to transform me. Prune me, blot out my transgressions, and make me white as snow. Amen.

“Yes!”

My favorite joyful mystery is the Annunciation and one of my favorite prayers is the Angelus because I have doubted myself many times and it’s meaning is so beautiful to me.

When I say “yes” to doing something that I may not feel capable of or like doing, be it CFC-Youth service, chores, or giving someone a ride this story of Mother Mary always affirms me and reminds me of how great God is. In this story story He always reminds me:

When my Mother said “yes”, I dwelt within her, I do the same in you. Do not doubt what I can do through you.
My Mother’s “yes” brought Me. It brought love and salvation to the world. Imagine how much of Me you are bringing to others when you say “yes”.
Your “yes” is a continuation of my Mother’s “yes”. You become one with her and participate in the salvation of the world.
My mother walks alongside you.

Only by the grace of God through Mother Mary have I been able to say “yes”. Only with the virtues she provides can I be able to carry on strongly and joyfully in the mission of my home, CFC-Youth and everywhere else.

Totus Tuus

So be it

How fitting that on the Solemnity of the Annunciation I am prompted to recall the yes’s I have given to the will of God, in particular with this new path of discernment. Unlike Mary, of course, my yes was not so easily uttered.

Too many times have I deliberately ignored the Gabriels in my life, opting for messages of comfort rather than challenge. However, all of the greatest calls of God require the greatest sacrifices. In fact, any call from God, big or small, will demand less of self and more of Christ. So when I had spent what felt like years wrestling with the message of the Lord to simply open wide the door of my heart once and for all to becoming a mission volunteer, I, like Mary, was “much perplexed” (Luke 1:29). Actually, I was more petrified than anything else. There was nothing more frightening than coming face-to-face with the will of God. There was nothing more dismantling than recognizing the nothingness of myself and the everythingness of God, and if that weren’t enough, having to then acknowledge that even in my nothingness He still yearned for me. Wow. How could it be that in all of my resistance He still pursued my heart? It was precisely in these moments of prayer that I experienced my own intimate annunciations.

It became clear to me that I simply needed to stop dismissing and start discerning. I needed to stop fighting the Spirit. I needed to submit – not with a heart of defeat but with a heart of trust. After all, no one was ever left dismayed after saying yes to Christ, not Noah nor Moses, not Peter nor Mary – every yes to Christ is a yes to life and life to the full, at that.

Of course there are still moments where I am overtaken by doubt towards God’s will and power in my life, but I am comforted in knowing that if God can make fertile the barren (Luke 1:36) and bring divine life to the Virgin (Luke 1:35), He can do anything for me and through me, so long as I cooperate. This is the most difficult part of it all. Cooperating does not only require a free and faithful yes, but a yes that says “I accept any circumstance”, “I embrace every cross”, “I lay me down”.

My fiat to the mission volunteer program, among all the other changes in my life with graduation, job search, and relationships, is but an act of giving to the Lord what rightfully belongs to Him – myself. It is a sincere yes to give this path it’s due amount of discernment before shutting the door completely (as I’ve already prematurely tried to do, to no avail).

I am not convicted, at least at the present time, of any outcome of this yes besides emerging from the program a more faithful daughter of God, ready to do whatever He wants for me. With Mary as my model, I simply want to make myself His handmaid and bring Christ into the world. My yes for the Lord to use me for His glory is captured precisely in the words of Blessed John Henry Newman:

“God has created me to do Him some definitive service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission…He has not created me for naught.”

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O Holy Spirit, spouse of Mary, discipline my heart to say “yes” without delay. Let my “yes” be given freely, without bitterness or resentment. Keep me from asking why but instead asking how. How, O Lord do you desire to use me today? How, O Lord can I please you today? I know that your requests for me will never be easy – it will be life changing and self-sacrificing, just as it was for the young Virgin. Whatever it may be, give me the heart to trust in the Father’s divine will and the feet to go with haste to do what I’ve been asked. O that I could bring Christ into this world as Mary did!

This Child

My mom and I at my baptism. Sorry for the bad quality!

When I was a little kid, I found comfort and security in my mother’s arms so much that I couldn’t sleep unless I I was resting in the softness of her skin. I felt like no one could harm me, I guess you could say I felt invincible. When I was scared or felt at danger, I always went to her. Just being near her was enough to feel completely at peace. I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t bother trying to think why I was at peace, I just let myself be at peace when I was with her.

As I reflect on this, I learn a little bit more what it means to have child-like faith, and the meaning behind the words of Jesus when He said “truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt. 18:3).

The Lord is reminding me to be like how I was when I was a child. I should never stop being a child when it comes to my relationship with Jesus and my Mother Mary. Being an adult, I might feel like I can protect myself physically and that I’m pretty self-sufficient. However, when it comes to my spiritual life, I know nothing. I am like a child all over again, not knowing many things, only knowing I need help. I need to depend on my Father and Mother for protection, nourishment, comfort, guidance, and growth.

As a kid, when I was sick, I didn’t know what could make me better. I depended on my mother’s remedies and her consultation with my doctor. I feel like that’s what Mama Mary does for me. She knows my spiritual sickness and provides the necessary remedies. She brings me to the Physician of my soul, Jesus Christ, and tells Him of my sickness. The Doctor listens to Her because He knows that She loves me very much and would like to see me get well. I cannot get spiritually well, unless I give myself to my Mother, and allow Her to take care of me.

Heavenly Father, help me to always recognize that I am truly a child in my spiritual life. That I know nothing at all—only that I need You, I need Your help, Your presence, and Your graces. Humble me, Lord, that I may be able to surrender my life into the hands of the Mother you have given me, to take care of me in every way. Amen.