”To desire grace without recourse to the Virgin Mother is to desire to fly without wings.” – Pope Pius XII
Love is a fermented wine, in which only time can sweeten.
Why is it that in the most endearing love stories, we are given images of elderly couples madly in love with one another? We see it in many notable movies and television shows. The best example I could come up with is probably the Notebook, where an elderly Noah or “Duke”, chooses to be loyal to the love of his life, Allie, even when her sickness causes her to forget the very man she loved. The message of that movie was loud and clear. Love is patience. Love perseveres. Love is prevailing. We can conclude that, simply, with time, love becomes more genuine. It becomes more true. More sincere. It becomes more real.
In this community, we are introduced to a very important truth: real love waits. Now as much as this conviction has been associated with chastity, it is also very important to realize the deeper (yet simpler) meaning of this conviction. Waiting does not mean we only seek fulfillment after the fact. It means that we remain hopeful throughout. It means that in our waiting, we are sanctified. Holiness is not simply a means to an end, but a constant reacquainting with the Lord on our journey. There is beauty in the wait. It is the reason why flowers take time to bloom. It is the reason why the sun rises gradually and majestically every morning. It is why the clouds in the sky above soar past us calmly and almost unknowingly. Similarly for us, there is beauty in the wait, and it comes in the form of virtue.
I firmly believe that throughout my life, I have been blessed with a rather unique (and by all means undeserved) grace. That is, the grace of “waiting”. As a child I remember always having to wait for my turn, being the youngest of my siblings and cousins. It never really bothered me, but in retrospect, I think it led to my ability to patiently put other’s needs before mine. Mind you, I’m not perfect, but I definitely think God blessed me with patience – of myself, of others and of God’s will. I know I owe a lot of patience to my family. Every day they teach me to be patient. Specifically, in having a sister with down syndrome, it’s particularly rewarding when I know that in loving her unconditionally God teaches me subtle lessons of virtue.
It does not surprise me that in leading a life dedicated to growing in patience and virtue, I have fallen in love with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, that which is most virtuous and extraordinarily patient. Thankfully she has given to us a very cherished gift: The Most Holy Rosary. It is in the rosary we learn to imitate her life – specifically, her love for Jesus.
The rosary is such a beautiful prayer. As you probably know, praying it really takes time and effort. During those long days of work or school it really gets difficult because of its constant repetition. You can even go as far to say that praying it regularly often gets monotonous.
St. Josemaria Escriva passionately wrote,
“Blessed be that monotony of Hail Marys which purifies the monotony of your sins!”
I believe that the Rosary is a beautiful example of how we must approach every circumstance of our living. A brother once told me that, “the beads of the Rosary is the rhythm of life.” They don’t merely represent the rhythm of life. They ARE the rhythm of life. Every breath has its meaning, just as every bead has its significance. Often times life can become monotonous. But what I learned in praying the Rosary was that, somewhere hidden in the repetition and in the waiting, there is a beauty that is unveiled in its mystery. The Mysteries of the Holy Rosary are the beautiful moments of God’s glory that we yearn for as time passes. Those 10 Hail Mary’s are enlivened and monotony is diminished when we encounter Jesus Christ in the Mysteries. Similar to that, we must learn to exact heavenly bliss from monotony in our very lives, only then will we truly and intimately know the secret to Mother Mary’s love for her son.
With every breath I am reminded of the sweetness of waiting, not because I inch towards a destination, but because in breathing I am reminded of a God who has given me life. I am reminded of a God who loves me in ways I don’t deserve. A God whom I yearn to love more and more each day, with every Hail Mary, and every passing bead. A God who, with every answered and unanswered prayer, affirms me that though I have failed countless times in waiting for Him, He has revealed to me in eternity that real love waits.
“Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun.” – Eclessiastes 11:7
I’ve known about Mama Mary for quite some time now. See I went to a catholic school from K-12 and then have been a part of this community for about half my life. But my knowledge, love and appreciation for her hasn’t always been on the up and up…
In elementary:When I was really young I used to think she was so cool because her crown was made of stars, not to mention that she was always depicted wearing one of my favorite colors!
In junior high: I started to notice more about her physical features. I noticed her fair features, her simple smile, and her constantly open arms. She always looked so peaceful and I remember wondering if it was humanly possible to be that at peace!?
In high school:I was very fixated in finding out about my relationship with Christ, that I focused only on that, paying very little attention to her.
In university:I started to really get to know her… but I felt as though hearing her out meant that I had to do something that I didn’t want to do, let alone think I was ever ready to do. So I ran away from her, seeking my own way.
In my career: Through prayer and growing in my relationship with Christ, I felt more and more drawn to her. I was more willing to get to know her, more willing to grow in love and appreciation for her.
As you can see, we haven’t had the best mother-daughter relationship, but it certainly has come a long way from where it used to be. It went from admiration, to curiosity, to absence, to refusal, to acceptance, to now. And what is it now do you ask?
It’s all of the above! I admire Mama Mary for her obedience and complete trust in our Lord. I can’t even begin to think about how I would react if I was told that I would give birth to the redeemer of the world; and she handled it with such grace, strength and surrender. I’m so curious about her. I want to learn about her, her family, her role. I want to understand what the bible tells of her, I want to understand her love for us; her love for me. I am absent from and refuse what the ‘world’ thinks of my devotion to her. Deep reverence and devotion to our Mother does not mean that I am becoming a Sister, it simply means I see the importance of knowing my heavenly mother now. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a Sister, in fact I believe it is one of the most beautiful vocations, but I choose to not equate my relationship with Mama Mary as a means to an end, this is just the beginning! I accept her for all that she is and all that she wants to do for me; for us.
It’s quite funny, and not at the same time, how I treated Mama Mary as I was growing up, because that was essentially my relationship with my actual mother. At a young age I thought my mom to be like a superhero. As I grew up, I started to notice her more; how she reacted, what she liked, how she carried herself. The older I got the more consumed with my own life I became, paying little attention to her. And when there came the time when she would share her views or opinions or attempt to point to a certain direction, I sought my own way. Now that I’m older, I have more of an appreciation and love for my mom and all she’s done and all she continues to do for me and our family.
I’m sorry Mom for not having the best relationship. I’ve really come to love you and appreciate you in a way I don’t think I could have without first going through everything we did. I love you! Please forgive me.
I’m sorry Mama Mary for not having the best relationship. I’ve really come to love you and appreciate you in a way I don’t think I could have without first going through everything we did. I love you! Please forgive me.
If you see a rosary dangling from a rearview mirror, you can almost be sure that the person who owns the car is Filipino. So you can’t really blame me if my relationship with the Rosary and to a certain extent, Mary, starts off with the wrong foot or this case – decade. Get it?
As a child, I’ve always held the rosary in a very superstitious light. That through the use of it “miracles” happen and based on what I saw in the movies – scary ones – that if you hang them on your door knobs – demons cannot open and pass through that door. Even though looking back now, they could have always passed through the windows or walls if they were actually real ones.
As I grew up, the immense magical power I believed to be contained in the rosary turned into an academic one too. I remember getting a plus-5 (+5) in my quizzes/exams because I had a rosary in my pocket. Though I never did use the rosary for its actual use. The Jesuit priests, when I was still in elementary school, would always honour the students who had a rosary in their pocket – upping up – my then street cred. (Hallway cred?)
My next memory of using the rosary was the times when I used to stay at my grandmother’s house during the holidays. We played cards the whole day and some scrabble too, but at 6pm, we had to be on our knees praying the most boring prayer ever contained in those small pink prayer booklets – the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary after praying the rosary. We would pray it again at specific times of the year usually during the death anniversary of my grandfather.
Of course, every youth camp would be a yearly (or bi-annual) experience of praying the rosary though honestly I found it real boring. To be a prayer warrior was one of my most dreaded service even though I would hypocritically say that it was an honour to say the rosary during a camp.
It wasn’t until my father was diagnosed with cancer that we as a family started to pray it again. From a bi-annual prayer, it turned into a weekly one – and then some. It was during this time that I grew first in interest – a real one – in Mary which eventually led me to this post right now. Yes, that was just the intro.
More than a year ago, during the CFC-Youth Almighty True North Conference in Winnipeg, I was with a fellow Mission Volunteer (MV), Kaye Baylon around the time of the workshops. Of course being ignorant as I was, I totally was confused with the stickers, which were meant to direct me to the workshop I was assigned to. I then decided to just tag along with Kaye and just get to know her more because it was the first time I met her, and we were going to stay in the MV Summer House Training (SHOUT) for another week anyway.
We ended up in the workshop called “There’s something about Mary” which was basically a workshop on Mary. The workshop leader started with asking a question first – Who were the parents of Mama Mary? By Divine providence, the mass the day before the conference which all the service team attended was on the feast day of the parents of Mama Mary. If you don’t know them, it is St. Joachim and St. Anne. So here is the weirdest thing, contrary to popular belief I don’t like going up in front. I dislike being in front when all eyes are on me. I freeze. Anyway, that’s a different reflection altogether. I ran up the stage, and I was the first one there. Thankfully enough I did not forget the answer. And I won the prize, a rosary.
The Rosary
One of my prayers was answered right then and there. A rosary. At this point in time, I’ve already had a better understanding of who Mary was and how important she is to any Christian’s faith. But it wasn’t until that Sunday that something beautiful and awesome was revealed to me.
If there is one thing you have to know about me is that I always need the blessing of my parents before I embark on anything big. Okay, usually, not always – before my mom sees this and reacts. Before I went to take up Chemical Engineering, my parents agreed. Before I wanted to go sky diving, my mom said no – it hasn’t happened… yet. So around 7-8 years ago when I asked my parents if I could do mission work in the community, I was so ecstatic when they said yes. Between then and last year of course, my father died – so financially, emotionally, and spiritually to say the least – I had to adjust theplan.
So during a conversation between me and Kyle Beley, then an MV and now a Full Time Pastoral Worker (FTPW) of CFC-Youth in Winnipeg, the night before the SHOUT; we were conversing about our life stories and how we got there. And while I was talking about my dad, this part is hazy but the end result is clear, I’m not sure if it was him or me holding on to the rosary but one of us suddenly (re-)discovers something at the back of the rosary medal.
It was the logo of the Knights of Columbus. I was always praying for my father’s yes to become a FTPW back when I started the MV program, but I never thought how it would be conveyed. You see my father was part of the K of C before my parents joined the community. And while the community has always been affirming me that I was called to mission work, it is still a different kind of blessing if it comes from my own father. It was Kyle who told me that this rosary was my father’s yes. And it was affirmed during the MV SHOUT in the next few days.
My Father’s Blessing – Check!!!
And while I was able to get my mom’s “blessing” of me going to full time pastoral work the very next week – all missionaries know that the initial blessing fades away quite easily. The conversations during dinner after the initial blessing then turned to “guilt tripping” and I couldn’t really blame my family. This went on for a few months. Sometimes I would be “easing” them to the decision, most of the time I would hit a wall.
During the last few weeks of 2012, with my mom and sister originally off for two weeks of vacation, they suddenly planned a very spontaneous trip to Victoria and Vancouver. I was caught off guard. For one thing, I haven’t booked it off yet. And another was that, at this time, I was already trying to save up money for mission, which I know I wouldn’t have. And a trip to B.C. though tempting would really burn a hole in my wallet. Praise the Lord though it pushed through. Little did I know that Mama Mary was up to something again.
December 30, 2012 which was a Sunday, with my credit cards already crying with all the expenses made that week and the week before. We decided as a family to go to Church in downtown Vancouver. Marquez, another MV, suggested that we go to the Holy Rosary Cathedral. We were able to catch the noon mass as I recall. I was pleased to see that it was a bishop celebrating the mass. Only to find out after that it was the Archbishop of Vancouver, Archbishop Miller who was celebrating that mass. During the homily however, everything made sense with why we as a family had to spend that amount of money and effort for a spontaneous trip to Vancouver.
During Archbishop Miller’s homily, he said two things that still echoes in my heart today. He said “The vocation of the family is to seek and do God’s will. Parents are not proprietors of their children, but rather stewards.” I glanced at my mom, and our eyes locked. And we both were teary eyed. She took out a piece of paper from her bag and started writing down a note. When I read the note during mass, yes during mass, don’t judge me/us, we both started to cry.
This was the note.
My Mother’s Blessing – Check!!!
The rosary was given as my father’s blessing!
My mother’s blessing was given at the Holy Rosary Cathedral!
What I initially thought was my yes to God was actually Mary’s yes to undertake me under her own mantle of guidance and protection. From her quick yes to God’s will when Mary said “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38) To her quick yes to make the needs of the bride and groom at the wedding feast at Cana known to Christ, leading to miracle of the best wine coming from water. (John 2:10)
It is her same yes – after all the stupid things I’ve done and believe me I have and at times continue to do so on a regular basis – that brought me from darkness into the light (well a little bit of it). I am still leagues away from the Lord, but for sure with her I am getting there.
God in His wisdom has used something I used to brush off as superstition, an instrument that brought clarity to my life. I thought I heard His call and that I answered first, but it was Mary who first heard the call and made sure I was listening when He did call.
And though I am still very much constantly failing and falling into sin, she has affirmed me once more.
It wasn’t until yesterday at the GTA Core Brothers Household that I took a closer look at the same rosary. The medal in fact is of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
WordPress won’t allow me to rotate it 😐So here is the digital version of the actual beautiful image of Our Lady of Guadalupe
Guadalupe which comes from the word Coatlaxopeuh which means “the One who crushes the serpent” – is her personal promise to me. That She will crush the father of lies who attempts to rule my heart. Oh what a beautiful thing it is to be under the personal protection of the Queen of the Most Holy Rosary whose loving guidance has placed me to do the best job in the world and be loved abundantly and unconditionally.
Her yes allowed me to say yes. Let her yes, allow you to say yes to the Lord.
Ora pro nobis, sancta Dei Genetrix. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.
Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
