Tag: hope

3/52: Balance

There is so much to be thankful for, I’m sure I don’t have to present the laundry list of blessings we all receive on a daily basis!  What I will comment on is how we often we tend to complain and stress over them.  I am guilty of this =( 

Maybe we’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe we’re doubting our capabilities.  Maybe things are piling up and we’re beginning to get anxious about all that is expected of us.  We spend so much time worrying about the tasks as opposed to doing them that we get lost in the mix.  How can we even begin to serve our Lord, if already at the start we’re hindered?

I’ve come to be reminded that BALANCE is key.  If we are at an imbalance in our lives, how do we plan on tackling all of our tasks and responsibilities?  How can we properly share our Lord’s message? How can we remain firm and steadfast to win the race?

More important than reevaluating our priorities is PRAYER!  Prayer is what offsets all those tasks we have to take care of.  And if we’ve got a lot of things to do then that also means we’ve got a lot of praying to do!  It is through prayer that we receive the graces to handle such things, that allows us to centre ourselves in Christ, and gives us the freedom to rest in the Lord after a long day’s work.  Prayer, both, grounds us in our faith but it also motivates us into action!

Mother Teresa once said,

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

Let us balance our lives with prayer and realize how much of a blessing each day is.  Let us be good stewards of our time, talent and treasure and make the most of each day for our Lord.  Let us not bog ourselves down with worry or anxiety or complaint and realize our Lord walks with us daily, therefore is with us every step of the way.  Let us begin…

In the Darkness

1495617_10152069871078329_1282759230_oYesterday Toronto experienced one of the worst ice storms to ever hit. It was devastating and beautiful. Over 300,000 torontonians lost power, the streets were cluttered with fallen tree branches, and ice so thick you can literally skate on the roads filled the streets and sidewalks. The news was filled with warnings of treacherous conditions and strongly advised everyone to remain indoors. On the other hand it was very beautiful, like something I have never seen before. Everything turned into crystals. Every branch, fence, road, house, leaf, and every blade of grass glistened like a diamond in the light. It was fascinating.

The roads were so dangerous that my mom even considered not attending Mass which is a twenty minute drive in normal driving conditions. When I heard her, I sternly and lovingly said, “it’s the last Sunday of Advent. We have to go to Mass.” To which she quickly agreed! We decided to leave an hour early.

1509475_10152069856788329_1739881493_oThe ice was so thick that we couldn’t even leave the garage because of the steep decline. We actually caused a bit of traffic in the condo parking lot and I had to get out of the car to direct traffic to ensure the safety of everyone and proper flow (that was a first). We called security and they put salt to melt the ice, after which we all successfully got on the road. We couldn’t believe how dark it was driving to St. Joseph. It was a bit frightening because it was difficult to tell which was water and which was black ice. Most of the street lights weren’t working and the intersections were also not functioning so we had to treat them as four-way stops. My dad drove cautiously and slowly until we safely arrived at our destination.

Upon arriving at the parish we noticed all the lights were turned off so we thought they cancelled Mass. My mom asked someone outside our window and they assured Mass is still on. After dropping my mom and sister off at the front, my dad decided to park behind the church but we couldn’t because the entrance to the parking lot was completely blocked with fallen branches. We ended up finding a parking spot, but what a journey it was just getting to church!

We were greeted by an usher holding a small light to help us navigate. The church was almost pitch black. I also used my cell phone’s flashlight to get to the pew. They told us that father wanted everyone to sit near the front, so we did. I have never attended Mass in such darkness before so I knew this would be a night I’d never forget.

When I knelt to pray I heard a voice say to me ‘Miguel, you’re distracted by your fascination with everything. Relax and listen to what I’m trying to tell you in this experience.” After praying, I became more focused and present. The Lord spoke to me throughout the liturgy and told me the meaning behind the things I was fascinated with. The things He revealed were so simple and beautiful. It has helped me to prepare my heart for Christmas and I’d like to share it with you as a humble gift.

The darkness of Toronto last night reminded me that Christmas is the time which we celebrate the Light which came in the darkness. God entered human history, human suffering, the human problem, in all of its devastation—He entered and brought Light into the midst of everything. This Light, like what happened in the church, brings us closer together. It gathers us in its warmth. The Light is Jesus Christ Who gathers His people to His heart and draws all things near to Him. Like Christmas day He comes into our hearts that is filled with much darkness. He comes into the darkness and gives us hope. This hope gives us joy, and it’s from this joy—from Him—we are called to celebrate on Christmas and live the rest of our lives!

Yesterday morning was filled with so much beauty from how the light reflected off everything. Yesterday night was filled with so much darkness with only a glimmer of light found here and there. However, wherever there was light, there could be no darkness because “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)

May the Light of Christ shine in your heart and in your family always. Merry Christmas!

Trinity Run

Winter is fast approaching, and I can already feel my body starting to switch over to hibernation mode. Soon enough it’ll be too hard to get up out of bed, nearly impossible to escape out of those double duvets. Tis the season for excusing our way out of health habits.

I used to run regularly to maintain some sort of physical activity but that died down since who knows when. Spring is always difficult to face after long winters because of the three month break. I personally loathe treadmills and will refuse to get on one. I’d rather wait. I much rather prefer the great outdoors, but Toronto winter weather does very little to help with that. Daylight savings mean shorter days and longer nights. It takes approximately two weeks to adjust. My body is definitely losing on this front.

Our spiritual health suffers from the same changes. We have cycles where we’re going  strong- we’ve found some sort of groove with our prayer time and involvement with the sacraments. At these moments, our relationship with Christ is toned and trimmed. Excess weight cut off. The closer we get to Christ the less baggage we carry- our material and worldly desires no longer necessary. We are tied down to less.

But then, at some point, we face an itch of sorts. An itch that just needs to be scratched. A craving that just needs to be satisfied. A thirst that needs to be quenched. But instead of reaching for the healthy & obvious choice of water we go for the Coke. Pepsi. Ginger Ale. Root Beer.  And just like that, our impenetrable fortress comes crashing down. Why? Because we foolishly ignored that cracked wooden frame that started to break- little by little. It was easier to feign ignorance to something that needed fixing. It’s easier to give in and let our human needs win.

“I’m only doing it once.” I still exercise anyway. Cheating won’t hurt.” 

That’s what I realize happened to me. And for some reason or another, I kept making excuses and reasoned my way out of a very fruitful, beautiful prayer habit. It only took one small “set back”. I cut down my prayer time, my weekday church dates, and adoration drop ins so that I could bulk up on old habits which I knew were only going to get me in worse (spiritual) shape.

Negative thoughts filled my head. I became impatient, moody, and lethargic. Two weeks passed since my last confession, and although I knew I needed it PRONTO …my body would magically (temporarily) shake off the anxiety. It made me think I could keep going. Nyeh, it can wait.

Nope.

Confession is our detox. Our body needs to get rid of built up toxins the same way our soul needs to get rid of impurities. Getting through it is tough, but we always come out healthier afterwards. Praise God, for God because I finally went for that detox round. He knew I needed it. And I knew I needed it. The hardest step is always the first, the hardest run is always the most dreadful.

Our prayer life can be a long outstretched summer. However if we trip and fall into the darkness of winter, we shouldn’t despair. We don’t have to endure three months of waiting. We can choose to fast forward to spring.  My winter lasted 8 days too long, but today’s TRINITY RUN (adoration, confession and Holy Eucharist) allowed me to see the Son rise gloriously. Thankfully, our salvation and redemption is not bound by time, because we are loved by a God whose love is endless and timeless. 

 “A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from His love.”
-Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Realistically

I met a brother during my recent trip to LA last month. I gave a talk for CFC-Youth San Diego and I was introduced to this joyful brother named Jayson Adams. Jayson is your typical CFC-Youth, happily spending his summer hanging out with his friends and serving the Lord through CFC-Youth. However, one thing that Jayson experiences that we don’t is that he has two rare forms of cancer. Not one, but two.

Now, I’m known to be critical (at times hyper-critical) of the things I do see and experience whether it be something positive or negative. I would still see something negative from something that is really positive. But the way Jayson lives his life is something that really slaps me in the face – yes a slap (or two, three, and then some) in the face of a missionary.

From a blog by his family of his journey – http://walkwithjayson.blogspot.com.au/ – Jayson shares from a recent Youth Camp a question that we might and most probably ask if we were in his situation.

He asked the question why.

But he asks something more. He asks why was he surviving?

Now when I face problems whether it be the big problems in life or the #firstworldproblems, that should never be a problem in the first place, I would usually make a big deal out of it and act as if the world would end if it wasn’t resolved quickly. At times be quick to announce that indeed #thestruggleisreal.

However, Jayson faces a real life-threatening problem, and asks for the source, of him still being able to enjoy the graces and blessings in his life. He focuses on God’s love. As I reflect on this, his point of view is not optimism but rather a realistic point of view. Allow me to explain.

A quick search of optimism on google yields this definition “hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.” It based on a possibility of something positive in the future. Totally not the case for Jayson.

To be Christian is to believe, to experience, and to be transformed by the Love of God that is constantly and unconditionally at work in our lives. Jayson sees this perfectly in his own “struggle”. His is grounded, raised and is in fact very much living in the reality of God, Who is Love.

If I am then to be a Christian – the root of my missionary call – then I should be realistically looking and living in His love. His love gives meaning and purpose to my life. Ergo, I should see grace and blessings abound even amidst the trials and tribulations.

Yes, easier said than done. But at least knowing this, is a step in the right direction.

The thought of my pain, my homelessness, is bitter poison. I think of it constantly, and my spirit is depressed. Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The Lord’s unfailing love and mercy still continue. Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The Lord is all I have, and so in Him I put my hope. – Lamentations 3:19-24

Lord, allow me to see everything for what it is – a product of your Love.

St. Jude Thaddeus, pray for Jayson Adams. Amen.

**This reflection is also posted on my personal blog at kevinmuico.com

We Fight From Victory

We fight for victory.

A common battle cry that our leaders cry out to pump/hype/inspire us to doing some crazy thing for the Lord. It usually works, whether we are just going to a General Assembly, a Camp, or a Conference.

However this past Eastern True North Conference (TNC) was some sort of a challenge. It wasn’t until three weeks ’til the conference date that we called our first coordination meeting for all the committee heads. I remember having a conversation with Kris that nothing we’ll do for this conference will amount to something because of the time constraint, but if something happens it will only be because of the Lord.

From a program stand point, which I had the opportunity to lead with Hannah, we had to prepare one of the most creative intensive conferences ever (based on my 12 year experience in this ministry). Everything was against us – time, accessibility, and availability – yet the Lord still allowed everything to fall into place. He provided us with more than capable choreographers and dancers, our production heads, tech team, and director were all aboard to deliver the message of exposing Jesus at this conference.

In fact, those who went to conference can attest that the creatives were very sick! Even at the tech booth I was snapping, clapping, and cheering them on. At the end of the day, I was in awe that it was the smoothest conference in terms of program I’ve been too (12 years guys, 12 years). Even with all the backstage issues (and there were quite a lot), the message was delivered.

This leads me back to a reflection of mine a few days before TNC, we do not not fight for victory. In fact, the victory has already been won when Christ was raised from the dead. The birth, death, and resurrection of Christ was the victory. Every thing else that we do, specially if it’s for Him, is just an affirmation of that definitive victory. Hence we will never “lose”.

We fight from victory.

A posture not borne out of pride, but a posture borne out of faith that everything is part of His plan. That He loves us so much that He will not lead us down a path that will not bear anything good in the end.

For that, may God be praised in victory.

Saint Ignatius, pray for us. Amen.

Home.

With the amount of times that I’ve had to travel within an eighteen month time frame, most people would assume that I no longer suffer from homesickness. The past three trips (2009, 2012, 2013a) have been by myself; the shortest trip lasting 8 weeks and the longest lasting 6 months. Most people base their judgement on my social media posts and are probably thinking, “Dang, she is living the life.”

Well, reality check: I still suffer from homesickness. I still feel somewhat lost even though I’ve revisited Place A, B and C more than a handful of times. I still feel out of place in a room full of old friends and the nausea that accompanies displacement is very much real.

All those things still exist. Even now. Even when my family is here with me. We all haven’t been together in a very, very long time. Dad’s had to work out of town for the past 2 years and my brother’s had to live away at Waterloo ever since he started his Undergrad. And me, well…..I’ve been traveling to PH.

A few days into our family trip here, I was still feeling so bothered. My temper kept getting the best of me. I grew impatient and volatile. I couldn’t understand it. Shouldn’t my family have cushioned the hypothetical “emotional blow” that always hit me during my trips? Shouldn’t the weird jumble of emotions have stopped because I was with my loved ones? The anger and frustration drained me so much that one night, I decided to just leave the group. The innermost depths of me was craving for something. I didn’t know what that something was, but what I did know was that going to God wouldn’t leave me any more desolate than I already was. So I looked for a church.

I ended up at Sto. Rosario. I got through confession. I kneeled at the Adoration Chapel. I sat through Mass and received Holy Eucharist. And you know what? For the first time I felt good. Not just ice-cream-on-a-hot-sunny-day good, but ‘passing my final exam with flying colours and making the honour roll’ kinda good. I was a fish out of water that suddenly found my way back to the water. I could breathe again.

As I contemplated at the Adoration Chapel I was reminded of a promise I made to Him during the SFC precon praisefest. It just so happened to my birthday too. I told God that I was willing to finally give Him the one part of me that I hadn’t let go of yet- a very specific piece of my heart that was put on reserve. I didn’t have the strength to fight that fourteen year battle any more. It took me that long to surrender. That day He said to me, “Exodus 14:14, my beloved. Do not forget. I will fight for you, you need only to be still.

In the presence of the Eucharist and in front of the altar, I felt God whisper me to me, “Therese, my dearest Therese. You silly stubborn girl. Remember what you offered at the foot of my cross weeks ago? Remember that you promised me you’d finally give that last piece to me? Home is where the heart is and yours just so happens to be with me. It’s safe. It’s in my hands now. I’m happy that you finally found your back. My child, right now at this very moment …you are home. I’ve been waiting.”

All the puzzle pieces fit.
It all made sense.
I felt this sudden rush of peace, of final certainty.

Everything in this world is temporary. Even my family. But God, God is infinite. God is timeless, boundless and endless. I am made to stand in His presence, to bask in the love that is always present in His house.

 

Father, I’m coming home.
Amen. 

The Tree Of Faith, Hope, and Love.

This reflection is inspired by CFC-Youth Canada’s Eastern Mission Volunteers Coordination Meeting last Friday, July 12, 2013.

Let our faith be like the roots of a tree. Always looking for nourishment, always going deeper, always anchoring ourselves to the bedrock of the faith. So when a storm of anxieties, fears, doubts, and uncontrollable situations arise; we may be moved and shaken a bit, but never destroyed. (Colossians 2:6-7)

Let our hope be like that of a trunk of a tree. Always aiming higher and trying to reach the sun – the Son. The more we have hope, the higher the tree becomes, the easier it is for people to see what we hope for which is the Son. We become landmarks, a sight to see, a light to the world. (Matthew 5:14)

Let our love be like the branches. Giving shade to those who are in need of rest, giving life who eat the fruits of our labor, extending outward and always seeking out to cover more ground. (John 15:2)

If we become a tree of faith, hope, and love – we not only prosper and become fully alive, we also become a breath of life to those around us.

Lord, allow me to grow in faith, hope, and love – rooted, reaching, and abounding – with, in, and through – You. Amen.

This blog is also cross-posted on my own personal blog: http://www.kevinmuico.com/2013/07/14/the-tree-of-faith-hope-and-love/