Tag: Holy Spirit

Home.

With the amount of times that I’ve had to travel within an eighteen month time frame, most people would assume that I no longer suffer from homesickness. The past three trips (2009, 2012, 2013a) have been by myself; the shortest trip lasting 8 weeks and the longest lasting 6 months. Most people base their judgement on my social media posts and are probably thinking, “Dang, she is living the life.”

Well, reality check: I still suffer from homesickness. I still feel somewhat lost even though I’ve revisited Place A, B and C more than a handful of times. I still feel out of place in a room full of old friends and the nausea that accompanies displacement is very much real.

All those things still exist. Even now. Even when my family is here with me. We all haven’t been together in a very, very long time. Dad’s had to work out of town for the past 2 years and my brother’s had to live away at Waterloo ever since he started his Undergrad. And me, well…..I’ve been traveling to PH.

A few days into our family trip here, I was still feeling so bothered. My temper kept getting the best of me. I grew impatient and volatile. I couldn’t understand it. Shouldn’t my family have cushioned the hypothetical “emotional blow” that always hit me during my trips? Shouldn’t the weird jumble of emotions have stopped because I was with my loved ones? The anger and frustration drained me so much that one night, I decided to just leave the group. The innermost depths of me was craving for something. I didn’t know what that something was, but what I did know was that going to God wouldn’t leave me any more desolate than I already was. So I looked for a church.

I ended up at Sto. Rosario. I got through confession. I kneeled at the Adoration Chapel. I sat through Mass and received Holy Eucharist. And you know what? For the first time I felt good. Not just ice-cream-on-a-hot-sunny-day good, but ‘passing my final exam with flying colours and making the honour roll’ kinda good. I was a fish out of water that suddenly found my way back to the water. I could breathe again.

As I contemplated at the Adoration Chapel I was reminded of a promise I made to Him during the SFC precon praisefest. It just so happened to my birthday too. I told God that I was willing to finally give Him the one part of me that I hadn’t let go of yet- a very specific piece of my heart that was put on reserve. I didn’t have the strength to fight that fourteen year battle any more. It took me that long to surrender. That day He said to me, “Exodus 14:14, my beloved. Do not forget. I will fight for you, you need only to be still.

In the presence of the Eucharist and in front of the altar, I felt God whisper me to me, “Therese, my dearest Therese. You silly stubborn girl. Remember what you offered at the foot of my cross weeks ago? Remember that you promised me you’d finally give that last piece to me? Home is where the heart is and yours just so happens to be with me. It’s safe. It’s in my hands now. I’m happy that you finally found your back. My child, right now at this very moment …you are home. I’ve been waiting.”

All the puzzle pieces fit.
It all made sense.
I felt this sudden rush of peace, of final certainty.

Everything in this world is temporary. Even my family. But God, God is infinite. God is timeless, boundless and endless. I am made to stand in His presence, to bask in the love that is always present in His house.

 

Father, I’m coming home.
Amen. 

Reminded.

Today ends my 5 day trip to New York City. Time well spent with family. It’s been years, eight to be exact, since I last saw my aunt’s family who lives in New York City. This was planned way before I actually went for Full TIme Pastoral Work, that my family already booked their work off since last year.

Right before the trip, I already had doubts concerning its timing considering its right in the middle of the True North Conference season preparation. But now as I travel back to GTA and catch up with all the things that have been happening since I left, I am reminded of that this trip was the reason why I am in the mission in the first place.

I am called to be a missionary – a family evangelizer – through the community of Couples for a serving in its youth ministry, CFC-Youth. God called me to answering the call of the vision of CFC of families in the Holy Spirit renewing the face of the earth and take a very active part in it. While my calling takes me far away from my own family who lives in Calgary, and I am based in the Greater Toronto Area. I must never lose sight that the mission of building the Church of the home always starts and ends in my own home. It is through them that God called me to mission work, it is through them that I draw strength in mission, it is through them that my own intentions are purified, it is through them that my inspiration is placed upon. It is through them that my missionary zeal and passion is tested. It is through them that my faith, hope, and joy is tested; and more importantly affirmed.

As I go back to Canada, which is a few hours away, I take away with me a renewed conviction and affirmation that I am in the right path. When I said YES to the Lord, I did not only say yes to the renewal of families I will be serving – but more importantly, I also said to the renewal of my own family.

Come Holy Spirit, renew the face of the earth. Come Holy Spirit.

Happy 32nd Anniversary Couples For Christ!

The Truth about TRUTH

I went adoration yesterday and for 45 minutes of sitting there I could not see myself in communion with the Lord. I asked the Lord why I feel so distant. I waited and then He said:

  1. Speak the Truth.
  2. Speak about Jesus. Let Jesus manifest in your life.
  3. You don’t have to convince the non-believers or even the ordinary people.
  4. What is important is that as you speak the truth, they will feel the Truth – They will experience the Truth.
  5. Jesus is the Truth. Speak of Him and about Him. Let them experience Him.
  6. You can only do this with the power of the Holy Spirit, there’s no other way.
  7. The Holy Spirit who is in the Father and in the Son will consume you so when you speak of the Truth you will highly speak about the Father and the son.
  8. Don’t forget to pray to the Holy Spirit.
  9. Ask for the Holy Spirit.
  10. Invoke the Holy Spirit.

The Giver!

I will serve the Lord when He gives me “X”!

X = Being a favourable situation, person, object, grades, timetable, salary, co-workers, bosses, etc

How many times have I heard this in one-on-ones, in a random sharing, or when conversations focus on a person’s ” game plan” for his/her life. In fact most of the time I fall into this trap myself. I will serve the Lord when He has fixed my family’s finances. To give a talk when He has prepared for me the right conditions: no rain or snow, someone picks me up and takes me home, food is available, ample time for me to prepare preferably two weeks in advance, etc. When He gives me a good salary so I can save up for my future family.

While all of this is well and good, it is easy to fall into a trap of taking comfort in the gifts and blessings. That when these comforts are taken away, and for sure they will be, that our service suddenly stops because our parameters for service are taken away.

The gifts that the Giver gives are blessings and comforts that He bestows on us for us to better know and experience Him. The Giver is in fact infinite, and therefore His gifts can come in an infinite number of forms. His blessings can come in the form of a sunrise, in fact any person can sense God nature of how wondrous it is. But it takes a different kind of sensitivity to see the gifts in our day-to-day struggle. When deadlines are choking us. When our bosses are breathing down our necks in order to deliver our company’s needs. When our family members are sick. When relationships are tested. When moths come out of our wallets.

It is when our parameters of service change that our focus on the Giver allows us to be sensitive enough to see that the gifts He is giving us has changed. It is when we recognize these gifts that we come to know and experience Him better. Our focus then lies in the Giver of gifts, and not on the gifts themselves.

Our yes to Him is our yes to Him not because we say yes to what He gives us, but because it is Him we say yes to. Our service then becomes definite, purposeful, and unstoppable because the focus is on the Lord and on nothing else.

I will serve the Lord because He has given me “X”.

X = Himself

 

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

Veni Sancte Spiritus.

Come Holy Spirit.

Consume us. Refine us. Purify us.

Fix our eyes on You.

Veni Sancte Spiritus.

With you

 “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, who will stay with you forever”? (John 14:16)

Many people often associate Pentecost as the Church’s Birthday, I like to think that it’s the day the Church went public and fully revealed the Holy Trinity.  To think the twelve were huddled in a room, fearing for their lives, and then suddenly they were each graced with the fullness of the Holy Spirit.  They were speaking all kinds of languages and what better way to share these gifts but to speak of the wonders of the Lord in public! All the people in the street understood what was being said and how much more personal can you get but receiving the messages in their native tongue.  On that day, the Church went public with her message and the Holy Spirit was right there with her!

Jesus ensured that the apostles wouldn’t be left alone and gave them with His most Holy Spirit to guide them and comfort them and strengthen them as they carry out the work of the Lord.  The same Holy Spirit is with us today, living and breathing and moving and working.  This same Spirit dwells within our hearts and allows us to bare great fruit.

Unfortunately, due to our own human limitations there are times we feel as though we are alone.  Our mere human effort fails us and we seek to fill the void with other things when really we simply lacked the ability to recognize Him within and amongst us.

We must fully understand that it is out of great and true love for us that He gave us the gift of His Holy Spirit.  And through the Holy Spirit, His love is poured out into our hearts so that we may share it with every living creature.

Although I know my journey with and towards Christ is far from over, the recent changes in my life have introduced a new fear of losing Him/losing the ability to recognize Him.  It’s like I’m suddenly aware of every breath and every thought and every action.  But it is because of my confidence in the ‘helper’ He promised that the fear is tamed and extinguished.  Our Lord is truly with us.  And He will be with us, through His Holy Spirit, until He comes again and we are fully reunited with our Maker.

Lord, thank you for blessing me with your Holy Spirit and for always being with me.  I know that it is out of your great love that you sent us a helper.  Please allow my heart to be open to the movings of your Spirit.  Holy Spirit, master of prayer, please help me in my weaknesses and allow my life to bare great fruit so they may be used for God’s Glory.  Amen.

Unmistakable

I’ve always wondered what’s the best way to describe to others how I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. Last weekend, Calgary held a youth camp in the beautiful town of Canmore. I was listening to the speaker and the sharer for Talk 4. The sharer described his encounter with the Holy Spirit as an unmistakable sense. The dictionary describes this word as “impossible to mistake or misinterpret”.

Last weekend just affirmed this:
1. Being led into deep and prayerful worship by a young CFC-Youth leader who was one of the kids I handled as a KFC Couple Coordinator, that’s unmistakably the Holy Spirit.
2. Seeing my eldest son, who was only 3 years old when we joined the community in 1999, lead more young people to Christ as one of the team leaders for the camp, that’s unmistakably the Holy Spirit. Being led by your child into worship is an amazing experience that each parent should experience.
The presence of the Holy Spirit? It’s unmistakable.

“Breathe into me Holy Spirit, That all my thoughts may be holy. Move in me, Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Attract my heart, Holy Spirit, that I may love only what is holy. Strengthen me, Holy Spirit, that I may defend all that is holy. Protect me, Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy.”