Heaviness

deadlift

     “Why do we go to the gym? To exercise and become stronger. When you are standing in front of the weights and you are about to lift them, you don’t expect them to be easy to lift right? Of course not! You expect them to be heavy. You expect to struggle. But after you finish your set, you will return another day and lift heavier weights. It is the same with temptations. We should never expect the temptations to be easy, they will always be hard to overcome. However, whenever we are victorious, we will be ready to face heavier temptations. We should embrace temptations joyfully and know that we will become stronger because of them.”

     I honour those who are able to go to Confession immediately after they know they have sinned. It’s like applying alcohol immediately after you receive a wound (and a deep wound at that!). I have a tendency of intentionally waiting for the scheduled Confession times and I realized how cowardly I am! It would be understandable if the priest was unavailable or my schedule would not allow me to go, but the intention should be there.

     Lord, grant me the humility to place the salvation of others and my own as the top priority in my life.

     The Lord graciously paved a way for me to go to Confession right after I realized my sin. As I headed to the parish, I knew that the Lord would “slap me in the face,” in the way He would adjust my attitude towards my wrongs and remind me to be accountable for my actions. Honestly, there is always a small part of me that is extremely scared to own up to my actions (generally replacing accountability with excuses), because my humanity produces thoughts of the possibility that the Lord may not forgive me this time. We will never completely grasp His unconditional love for us and the length of His infinite mercy.

     The priest who received my Confession gave me the spiritual direction that was mentioned in the beginning (paraphrased of course). I’ve never looked at temptation in this way. I can then look at the evil one with confidence knowing that the Lord has allowed these temptations to come my way, only as a way for me to strengthen my faith and ultimately closer to Him. Praise God for temptations.

Lord, allow me to remain steadfast in spiritual battles. May I have confidence in your never ending mercy and trust in your immense love for me. Thank You for the times that I have fallen and most especially for allowing me the grace to come back to You every time.