You know when you want to be in a relationship (at least in the brothers perspective) you want to be the one who is in control as in the one who sets the tone because we are the pursuers. Well in this case in my relationship with my Lord, I’ve been the one who keeps on trying to be in control, well because I want to pursue Him. At first I thought I was doing pretty good, I’d see him at mass, adoration, or try to see him in my daily life. But then it began to feel I wanted more from Him. It began a little difficult to see him as much as I wanted to. I wondered am I doing something wrong?
I started to see although I am doing my very best to get to know him and my best to let him know everything about me, I started to feel He wanted to take control of this relationship. He began to say “I need you to trust me,” “my plans for us are better,” and “you need to let me take control.”
Well I think this is one of the hardest things for me to do, I like to be in control, but I also know when I am, I feel like I’m just a presence, running a business, “do this, do that” kind of attitude. I don’t know how many times I will be telling my self “Tim, humility please” and “Tim, be careful what you say” and the biggest ones is “Tim, trust him” and “Tim just let God take care of it.” I was really wrong the whole time, it’s our Lord who really sets the tone and is the one who pursues me.
I hope my heart can really answer to this “something greater” for what he wants for me.
@itsmetimmm