Secret Garden

Dewdrops.

There’s something beautiful about the way that water condenses and forms on a leaf in the bright early mornings. Dewdrops remind me of memories. Pocket of memories. Tiny fragments of time captured in a single bead of water. And you know what? Places can be like those dewdrops. Places that hold pockets of time and moments. Special moments.

In the same way that dewdrops sometimes catch the edge of a leaf, fall and burst…memories too fall. They can hit you with the same momentum. Inevitable, yet sometimes unexpected.

I’ve loved my time here in this country, but to be quite honest with you this trip hasn’t been without gravity. My gravity. The harsh reality pulling down my pockets of memories and having the emotions burst all over the place. There are so many places that remind me of things I’m not ready to face, of people I’m not ready to remember. There’s been this huge lump in my throat that’s been waiting….sitting. That sharp inhale of breathe , that moment before your tear ducts do what they’re supposed to do.

Then, I just let go. Let it out. Allowed myself to cry and see that dew drop hanging by the end finally fall and hit the ground. For some reason I felt like crying would make me the weakling. Why did I hold myself back so much from doing what my heart wanted to do so many times before? I was crying and thinking, thinking and praying, praying and asking…..God, why?

This was His response.

My Therese, my beautiful red rose. Embrace this. All of it. Embrace the heartache. I’m ready to listen to you and meet you in whatever state you’re in. Does a father not answer to the cries of  His beloved daughter? Of his little princess? A rose would never hold so much beauty if it did not have its thorns. Embrace yours. My son embraced His….wore His on His head. I can help you embrace yours. Look to my most Sacred Heart, which wears not only one thorn but many. I know what I’m putting you through hurts right now, but I need you to go through this so your heart can heal and be renewed. 

The world can be a place full of turmoil and that is why I created you- To be part of a place of peace in a world of chaos. A red rose for My love, a yellow rose for My flesh, a white rose for My purity, and your most favourite colour of all….pink. A pink rose for My passion. Can you be that rose for me? Be a part of my secret garden to this world.

I have so much in store for you and trust that I will give you what you seek. But first, you have to learn to love your thorn and accept it. A thorn my love, is part of the rose. It can never be without it just as my Son could never be without His crown. 

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“The growth isn’t in moving on or being able to let go. The growth is in being able to say thanks, literally for everything.” (Erin G)

I pray that one day I can look at the dewdrop on the edge of one of my leaves, and say thanks. Thank you for being so full of memories, both good and bad. Thank you for existing and for being there. But now, I have to let you fall to the ground and let you water my roots so that I can continue to grow. To grow so that I can be the rose God made me to be, to bloom where He has planted me.

“O most holy heart of Jesus, fountain of every blessing, I adore you, I love you, and with lively sorrow for my sins I offer you this poor heart of mine. Make me humble, patient, pure and wholly obedient to your will. Grant, Good Jesus, that I may live in you and for you. Protect me in the midst of danger. Comfort me in my afflictions. Give me health of body, assistance in my temporal needs, your blessing on all that I do, and the grace of a holy death. Amen.” (Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus)