I’ve always looked forward to Eucharistic Celebrations where in the priest wears red vestments. When I was still in university, I looked forward to the Holy Spirit mass at the start of the school year because all the jesuit priests would be wearing their red vestments. To me it breathed life to a rather nerve wracking start of school.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I read a book, that red vestments are also worn during the celebration of the feast day of saints who were martyrs. So every time a feast of a famous saint who died a martyr would come up, I would try to make it to mass.
Yesterday however, I was tired and really feeling a bit under the weather. The past month has been non-stop in terms of mission and travel, and frankly I just needed to rest my weary body. I was kind of lazy in going to Church because I already had a long day, and I had another meeting that night. But by the grace of the Lord, we were given a ride going to Church. So we were given a chance to go to adoration first before we went to mass.
During the mass however, I experienced something I’ve never experienced before. The moment I saw the red vestments of the priest during the procession, I felt that my heart was being crushed and I was overcome with sadness and grief. And throughout the mass, I was wondering why it was so.
I wanted to cry, but no tears came, the grief came from within. A sadness that could not be quenched. I already knew that it was the Feast of St. John the Baptist because of my prayer time earlier in the morning, but hearing the gospel acclamation of the beheading of St. John – it was as if I felt the hearts of those closest to him, his friends, his family, even the heart of Christ when they all heard the news of his death.
I even was asking the Lord during the whole time of why St. John the Baptist, and all the other martyrs (including the two Filipino saints, Lorenzo Ruiz and Pedro Calungsod) had to die if they followed Christ. It just did not make sense. Isn’t following the life of Christ supposed to bring peace, hope, and joy – not suffering?
It was only during the Eucharistic Prayer when the priest said:
Take this, all of you, and drink from it; for this is the chalice of my Blood, the Blood of the new and eternal covenant; which will be poured out for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins.
That the pain in my heart was eased and I felt embraced by Christ himself. If Christ has to bleed for us, so that we may come to know Him. It is also by the blood we bleed out that Christ will be known in us.
How many times have we chosen to stay silent when we needed to speak out? How many times have we chosen to not do anything when action was needed? How many times have we bled for Christ?
Lord, may the blood You spilt wash away the sins of the world and bring to life, us, who are dead and dying. Amen.
Saint John the Baptist, pray for us.
