PENtecost

Funny how something as mundane and ordinary as a notebook can coax out so much emotion from a person.  March 1, 2012 x Aklan, PH for Pre-ILC festivities is significant to me, because that’s the very first day I wrote in my journal.  I still remember that day vividly yet here I am 20 solid months after finally  putting this baby to rest!

It’s easy to forget a lot of things when you’re as busy as we are in this community. Some prayers are deeply forged into our hearts, while some are just etched semi-permanently on skin- completely washable. I recently took the time to skim through the pages, and I’m glad I did.

There are  days where I find myself knee deep in deliverables and meetings. Days with seemingly endless challenges and personal attacks. Days where it’ll feel like everything is so mechanical. That’s what the recent few weeks have felt like for me, but let me tell you brothers & sisters, it pays to pray in writing. 

Every page of my journal holds God’s signature.
Every page of my journal holds his promise and faithfulness.

I can literally see that he’s been preparing me all this time: building my character up and breaking down personal barriers. Yes, I have a long way to go and grow in my holiness, but I am also eons away from the person I used to be. That’s worth celebrating. Growth through tears and growth through fears.

“‘And in the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my spirit upon every sort of flesh, and your sons and your daughters will prophesy and your young men will see visions and your old men will dream dreams.”- Acts 2:17

My prayer journal presents a “PENtecost” of sorts. I know that some of the messages, drawings and scriptures I’ve written down were, at that moment, led and inspired by the Spirit. Those revelations were a product of prayer and divine guidance. Not through my own strength and wisdom, but His. The words may not have made complete sense then, but they seem so relevant now. Same words, different meaning because I see them with fresh eyes and a renewed heart.

Prayer journals are part of me now. I can’t imagine not processing my everyday thoughts and movements manually. My desires and passions presented to Him in plain sight. It requires a lot of patience and humility to admit to those things and to constantly commit in  writing. But it’s worth it. Not because God needs it, but because we do. I do.

Thoughts on paper, carved on His cross, and washed clean by His most Precious blood.  It’s the simplest way I can choose to surrender myself to Him everyday.