True North Missionaries Journal

Just this weekend I celebrated my 7^th year anniversary in this CFC-Youth community. From where I started out to where I am now, it is hard to believe how far I’ve come. Fifteen year old me could never have guessed that I would be a Mission Volunteer. Even now, it is still hard for me to fully grasp the idea of being a Missionary. So as a reminder to myself, and as a way to share a part of my discernment to join the MV program with you all, I want to share with you an excerpt from my application to the MV Program. I pray that when you read this, you look at your own vocation, and pray deeply and actively about where you are called.

I write this letter to you to express my willingness to enter the Mission Volunteer Program. I have been praying about this for the past couple months and I feel that the Lord is pulling me towards the Mission Volunteer program. It is definitely what I need in my life at the moment.

At this time in my life, I am nearly graduated from BCIT as an Architectural and Building Technology student with a 2-year diploma. January-May 2015 will be my last semester. This is where the discernment is needed. I honestly do not know what to do after I graduate. There are many, many, paths that I can take, but I do not know how to properly discern for each path. Listed below are each:

1. The most practical path that I can choose is to graduate, find a job here close to home, work to pay off student loans, help family with bills etc… However, I do not find fulfillment in my life in just doing that.
2. Another option is to work abroad over in the Middle East. This way I am able to travel and see different places of the world. However I feel this is a selfish option because it caters to my own wants of travelling and does not really benefit me in any ways.
3. This option is for me to go off and do mission work. This is whether as a Full-Time Pastoral worker or a Salesian Lay Missionary. I have always felt the call from the Lord to be a missionary and have lived it out as best I could. This is from my work with the poor to my evangelizing to others. However my concern with this is financially. I may feel fulfilled becoming a missionary, but a part of me knows that I need to be able to financially support my parents. They put me through school hoping that I would be able to graduate and help them out in their old age. I just wouldn’t feel right leaving to do missionary work and fulfilling myself while my family is back home still working as hard as they do to provide for themselves.
4. This last option has only become more evident to me that I need to really discern for during a recent trip that I took to visit my friend frater Emmanuel in St. Michael’s Abbey in California. During this trip, frater gave me a hint of advice for my discernment to the Priesthood by saying “How will you know unless you give God the chance to work? What ever you give up for Him, He will give back ten folds. He is not outdone in generosity.” With this, it led me to discern the religious life, namely the Priesthood. However, once again, the problem with this is that I will not be able to help my parents financially. Because of that, I do not feel comfortable in entering at this time.

As you can see, I have much to discern for in my life. At first I planned to discern this on my own, and try to figure it out with my own understanding. However, the Lord drew me towards the Mission Volunteer program. With this program, I will have a concrete and proven way of discerning. Also, most importantly, I will have people guiding me and mentoring me on my spiritual journey in discernment. If I am able to receive help and guidance from those before me that has been through this discernment process and know what it is like, it would help ten folds.

With this letter, I pray that you consider my application to the Mission Volunteer Program. I hope that it was able to give you a glimpse into my life and how much the Lord really calls me toward better discernment. Please pray for me and my discernment.

May God be praised

Woooah, I didn’t think that it could come to this point where I’m (actually) blogging. It has always been an idea but has been shoved off because of lack of motivation.

Anyways, up until now, I’ve just been truly amazed, in awe, mind blown everytime I read a post here. God’s words shared here are truly powerful and inspiring.

I am Arvin Amo, Mountain Region (#YEG!!!!), a newly approved MV. If you ask me this time last year if I would ever apply for MV, I wouldn’t even think about. This time last year, I was going through “spiritual dryness”. I decided to step down from my CFCYouth service without discerning properly because of personal reasons (being “too” busy, prayer life was very inconsistent, beat myself regularly due to challenges in my service role). I remembered that I made the decision during Worship at an event and I was crying. Then I hid from my brothers and sisters for a while because of guilt. I just couldn’t face them. I thought my life would be better by leaving CFCYouth. Rather, I found myself even more unstable, digging a deeper hole that was harder to get out off. Hungry of spiritual food, I went to RYC. The Lord spoke to me through the talks but I wasn’t receptive (so stubborn, haha).

I have heard of MV Program a few times last year. First time was around May when (Kuya Ambrose) talked about his experiences from MV SHOuT. He introduced the idea but of course I really didn’t pay attention because of what was happening in my life.

It was during (and especially after) #TNC2014 that I felt that I wanted to serve again in the community. I missed the service. Then the idea of MV resurfaced but I neglected the idea because I felt really unworthy (and I still feel like that), who would accept someone who decided to leave without proper notice in the first place. But The Lord never stopped on reaching to me with His love. It was around December that I really decided to stop unloving myself and be loved more by God.

That’s when I started to pray more (committed to praying the Rosary more) and for MV as well because God presented the idea once again. I really doubted myself of the idea of MV again because of what happened (and even know but I just everything to The Lord) so it took a lot of time to discern.

Fast forward, God worked in me that I said Yes to MV. Afterwards, I talked to one of the brothers and mentioned my doubts. One thing he said to me that really affirmed the decision was “maybe you had to go through those things last year to realize how much you miss serving.” After that, I really became more at ease with my decision.

So Praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve again. Of course, there are still a lot of things to learn, to experience but I know that the Lord will continue to guide me in this journey through the brothers and sisters He has provided me. I’m nervous but I’m also very excited.

One day, I was walking to work. The rain was pouring and the wind was blowing. When I decided to fold my already broken umbrella, I was able to look up at the sky. Then I saw a flock of birds flying. Although their wings were obviously moving, they remained in the same spot because the wind was blowing too strong. I laughed to myself and thought of how silly those birds were. I imagined how exhausting it could have been for them to keep flapping their wings but not get anywhere. Eventually, they stopped and decided to rest on a tree.

Then I reflected on why the Lord allowed me to witness that scene.

There were many times in my life where I have exerted so much effort to achieve something or to be great at something yet somehow, after all that was said and done, I felt like I have not arrived at the destination I hoped I’d be. I have stubbornly insisted on doing things my own way, exhausted myself, blindly persevered, wasted resources and pursued things that the Lord didn’t want me to pursue. Even when God was clearly telling me to stop, take a break and rest for awhile, I still insisted. I was like one of the silly birds. But just like the birds, I eventually learned to stop, reassess and to patiently wait. I was able to realize that the reason I wasn’t getting to where I wanted to be is simply because it wasn’t where God wanted me to be.

It is in the nature of birds to fly against the wind. This allows the air to lift them up when their wings are open. Some challenges in life keep us floating. Some challenges are hurdles that we have to get over in order for us to soar higher. But some are too strong and difficult that it weighs us down or hinders us from moving forward. I have learned that we have to assess if the challenges that we are going through are God’s ways of telling us to persevere or to take a different path.

 
My Lord and my God, please allow me to always be sensitive to Your leading. Guide me on the path that You have already paved for me. Mother Mary, melt me and mold me.

Lead Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home-
Lead Though me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene – one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that Thou
Shouldst lead me on,
I loved to choose and see my path; but now
Lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride rules my will; remember not past years.

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still
Will lead me on,
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till
The night is gone;
And with the morn those angel faces smile
Which I have loved long since and lost awhile.

– Blessed John Henry Newman

Psalm 148

¹ Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord from the heavens;
    praise him in the heights above.
² Praise him, all his angels;
    praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
³ Praise him, sun and moon;
    praise him, all you shining stars.
⁴ Praise him, you highest heavens
    and you waters above the skies.

⁵ Let them praise the name of the Lord,
    for at his command they were created,
⁶ and he established them for ever and ever—
    he issued a decree that will never pass away.

⁷ Praise the Lord from the earth,
    you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
⁸ lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
    stormy winds that do his bidding,
⁹ you mountains and all hills,
    fruit trees and all cedars,
¹⁰ wild animals and all cattle,
    small creatures and flying birds,
¹¹ kings of the earth and all nations,
    you princes and all rulers on earth,
¹² young men and women,
    old men and children.

¹³ Let them praise the name of the Lord,
    for his name alone is exalted;
    his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.
¹⁴ And he has raised up for his people a horn,
    the praise of all his faithful servants,
    of Israel, the people close to his heart.

There are many times I ask myself, why is this happening? Then I question God asking the same thing.

The mystery of the unknown is always interesting because we will never know what is next. We can ask ourselves the same question over and over again asking why, but we will never get a straight answer why things happen a certain way.

This is where I am reminded of how patience is so beautiful. Patience allows us to humble ourselves so that we are able to understand the importance of discipline and prudence. This is where I am also reminded of how I should be grateful and be accepting of the certain situations that happen in my life realizing that maybe these things were meant to happen and that there really is a reason for everything.

Although there is a mystery to the future; of the unknown. There is beauty in waiting because it is truly in the great things in our live that are worth waiting for.

 

Lord, may you teach me how to be patient and grateful for everything I have been a witness to in my life. Allow my heart to be hopeful for what is next, to trust in Your holy will, to stay faithful and prayerful. 

Amen.