True North Missionaries Journal

Going into SHouT 2015, I was excited and really nervous at the same time. Excited, because it’s been 2 years since I attended one. Nervous, because I wasn’t just participating, I was also serving: lead a workshop, be the “barker” (the discipliner, the wake up call person) and the worship steward (assigns worship leaders every morning, afternoon and evening). For the workshop, I led the exhortation workshop which was actually very informative and helpful. I definitely learned new things while I was preparing and while I was hearing everyone’s exhortation based on a given theme. Being a barker for the first time, at first it was okay but as soon as I started giving punishments it was hard for real. I’m not used to giving punishments nor I would like to give one. There was one incident where my group got punished because we didn’t finish cooking on time. I was really sad and I felt guilty. But a brother reassured me that I should think of it as disciplining. For the wake up call, I’m not a morning person at all. I wouldn’t wake up early if I don’t need to. But throughout the SHOuT, I found that it wasn’t hard for me to wake up early at all and I woke everyone up before 6. Praise God (truly!!!!!!) for allowing me to fulfill that.

Going into SHouT 2015, my heart was heavy, with the after effects of setbacks, family misunderstandings and sins. I knew I had to go to confession and I did just before the 1st day. I wouldn’t allow that to affect not only my service but also spending time with Him. Throughout the 4 days and 5 nights, He showed me foretastes on how to love Him more from memorizing memory verses, to praying more, to spending more time with the rest of the core group and to spending almost 2-hours with Him through a silent retreat. There were uncomfortable times and situations and moments where I didn’t want to make an effort in praising Him or glorifying Him but He ALWAYS reassured me of His love first through the people & fellowships, through the surroundings/nature, through every meal, through every day and night. I just hope that all the realizations I’ve had during SHouT will stay and will move me to love Him more, my family more and the service He entrusted to me.

Despite early mornings and late nights, I felt really blessed and affirmed because The Lord really showed His love and mercy and persistence to reach out to me. Thank you, “Heartbeat”! Thank you Sumaylo’s for allowing us to stay at your house. #shout2015 #leap2015 #onemountain #cfcyedmcoregroup :)❤️

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Thy faithful and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.

Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.
And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth.

Let us pray. O God, Who didst instruct the hearts of the faithful by the light of the Holy Spirit, grant us in the same Spirit to be truly wise, and ever to rejoice in His consolation. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

When I came into the SHOUT House,  I always knew I had a place in CFC-Youth Edmonton, but for some odd reason I felt distant from everyone. Maybe it was because I was gone for three weeks and was jetlagged or that I came to the SHOUT House on the second day and didn’t really know what I missed. For whatever reason it was, I felt distant and this bothered me. I tried to engage in conversation with people, tried to contribute to the tasks at hand, and I tried to complete the workshop I was asked to do, but I just lacked so much focus no matter how much I tried. It was really difficult for me to be present while feeling distant.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened to me then haha, but I think what may be more important is to concentrate on the moment where all of those feelings of feeling distant vanished.

We were upstairs in the SHOUT House, going into evening worship and quickly I felt something different, and automatically I knew the presence of the Holy Spirit was there. And while I was worshiping I could sense that Mother Mary was there too. This just reminded me of Pentecost when Mother Mary and the apostles experienced the descent of the Holy Spirit in the upper room.

I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like I had encountered God again, but in a different way for a different purpose because usually when I have an encounter with God, it’s an encounter with Jesus Christ where He’s telling me that He loves me, forgives me, and longs to be with me. But this was different. God was coming to me as the Holy Spirit, empowering me to break out of this sort of complacency that I was in, reminding me of the reason why all of us were there in that upstairs… to make ready our hearts to deliberately proclaim His name.

My thoughts in this blog post are quite fragmented, but that’s because I don’t know exactly what happened in that upstairs. I am still amazed by what happened there because my mind can’t make sense of that fact that for days I felt out of it, and then — boom — one moment just brought me back in.

God is so good — He’s funny and confusing sometimes haha — but He is so good. I pray that I remember this moment because God’s love for me has sort of ‘evolved’ into something different, even though I know His love remains the same.

Thank You Lord for blessing me and giving me the opportunity to serve You. I pray that I may give You glory and that everything I do pleases You. I ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

One morning during my walk from Mass to work I watched people I passed by and wondered, “Where is that person going? What are they doing today? They’re obviously dressed and walking somewhere so they’ve already exerted energy and effort to do something.” What that something is, who knows. But what that something is, is also important to everything relating to this blog.

We learn from the world growing up, especially through school and as we start to develop our careers, to find a way to get the most – whether it be money, material wealth, value, opportunities – with as little effort as necessary or possible, and sometimes we choose to call this efficiency. It makes sense in a way because if you can do things quicker and easier without putting in as much effort, then logically you have extra time and resources to do more. What we should keep in mind, however, is that there will be things in life which require much more of us than we’re willing to give, even if it’s for the seemingly smallest of outcomes. I say ‘seemingly’ for a reason.

To draw out the point with real examples, it’s like seeing a line up of people praying outside an abortion clinic for 40 days – The world says: Why not be out there once a week instead of 40 days straight for more exposure? Why not spend more on preventative measures so that women don’t end up in dire situations where they’d want to have an abortion to begin with? How many babies were actually saved? Or were any even saved at all? Reminder: Sometimes the outcome isn’t the only thing that matters. Or what about the countless times you were there for your friend at 2am to help them pick up the pieces of their heart because of something they were going through, only to have them replay that situation over and over again like your consoling words went in one ear and out the other? The world says: If this happens once or twice it’s ok, but if it continues then what’s the point in helping them? Do they really need a shoulder to lean on? Show them tough love so they get thicker skin! Find them another way to get over it, doesn’t seem like they’re moving on anyway! Again, sometimes the outcome isn’t the only thing that matters. 

There are things we do as Christians that seem questionable and unreasonable to the rest of the world. “Why do it THAT way if you can do it THIS way?” or “THAT logic doesn’t make sense, but THIS logic does!” or “They need to learn how to live in modern times and adjust to modern ways.” The thing that the world doesn’t understand that we should, is that love isn’t a simple cause-and-effect vending machine where you can put coins into it, in the form of time and effort, and expect blessings to come out. All our efforts as Christians, no matter how much of it we put into something, should be out of, with, and for the sake of love, without measure.

As we all go through our day-to-day lives, I hope we can think about what we are doing, why we are doing it, how we are doing it, and most importantly for whom we are doing it. At the end of the day, regardless of what the outcome is based on how much energy you put into it, if it is pleasing to the Lord, is it worth the effort?

It’s such a beautiful phenomenon that all over the world, specific parts of nature grow. You’ll never find cactus growing naturally in BC. You’ll never see pine trees growing in the desert. Seaweed won’t sprout out in the prairie, and you won’t find wheat underwater. You’d think it to be unfair. Why did God not just create a super plant that can grow everywhere and provide every kind of nutrient? Why have them only thrive in some areas, but perish in others?

Now imagine yourself as a blade of grass. Tiny, boring, and seemingly unimportant. Why can’t you be more like a tree? Why can’t you be more like an exotic flower? Why can’t you provide like wheat does? There seems to be something wrong with grass if it can’t really fulfill anything.

But that’s where the beauty of the Lord truly shines. Yes, you are a blade of grass, but you are not unimportant. You make up an entire ecosystem that the world needs. You provide the necessary nutrients for the livestock that the world needs. The best part is, no one else can do that job! Imagine an exotic flower trying to survive in the environment you’ve grown accustomed to. It’d whither and die trying to be like you, and vice versa. If any other plant tried replacing you, it couldn’t because you are irreplaceable. You are the only one who can do your job the best.

As creations of God, just like all of nature, we are given EXACTLY what we need to achieve the purpose we were created for. There is no use in trying to be like someone else, or feel like you aren’t made for whatever it is you are doing. The Lord created you in His image, so there’s no way He’d make a mistake.

We all have strengths that make us unique, and we should not look down upon them or see them as inadequate. We were fearfully and wonderfully made, and it’s time we see ourselves as just that.

Already, our preparations for Conference has gone full blown. This is quite possibly one of the biggest tests for me in service, mentally. How far am I willing to go for the Lord in this service?

This message of the “Love Revolution” is not just one to reflect of experiencing love from the Lord, but the question of,

“How deep is your love for Christ?” 

Like mentioned in my last few posts back, nothing has gone the way I desired anything to go. This question is burning in my heart and I can’t wait to answer it.

Pray for me. Definitely feeling the experiences of life piling high.

St. Rita of Cascia, Pray for us.

Deo Gloria

I went to waterton for a day on the weekend. It was a fun and lovely nature trip. We saw everything from mountains, lakes, waterfalls and fields. We even saw a couple of bears and a deer. Indeed that trip was marvelous. One of the things I realized as I was up the mountain looking down on the waterfalls as the water hits the rocks below is that nature was beautiful. Created by God with their own purpose. The water, flows and goes places while the rocks and mighty and firm. The flowers bloom in spring and die in the winter and yet each of these creations despite their differences, each have their own purpose. One thing they have in common is they each do their tasks with ease. Flowers grow and die without effort. Mountains stand tall and rivers flow with grace. God made them for a reason and they serve their purpose every single day without worry.

So whether you are a rock, strong and mighty or like the river flowing or the flowers blooming, remember that God made you for a reason and that you are beautiful. Embrace your weakness and use your strength. God will not leave you. Whatever your do and wherever life may take you, just bloom where you are planted and glorify God always.

What do we understand the purpose of prayer to be, and how do we understand prayer to work? We pray for a sign to help us make a decision, for the knowledge of something we need answers to, or do a novena to have something revealed to us, but do we stop to think about the way prayer really works?

“The misconception arises partly from the false idea of prayer that we learn as children, partly from the idiom of piety that looks more to the extraordinary than to the ordinary ways of grace, and partly from our quite understandable tendency to judge the mind of God by what we know of our own. 

First, what are we told about prayer? We are given to understand that it will get us out of every difficulty. From our earliest infancy, the belief is drummed into us that if we repeat our petitions enough, we shall get what we want. Faith and perseverance: armed with these two we cannot miss. Now, all this is perfectly true, but not in the sense that we normally understand it. Prayer does get us out of every difficulty – by so building up our inner reserves that we meet every difficulty and rise above it. If we repeat our petitions often enough, we do get what we want – because we come to want God’s will even more than we want an answer to the particular petition we are making. Given faith and perseverance, we cannot miss – since in proportion as these qualities deepen, we get closer to our true goal, which is God. 

Sometimes, it is true, the more obvious meaning of the doctrine is verified. We pray, and the obstacle vanishes. We place complete confidence in the power of God to work a miracle, and the miracle (to everyone’s surprise, including our own) happens. We make up our minds never to give up asking, come what may, and after a while, we are rewarded with exactly what we have asked for. Instances of this sort are happily common: they strengthen our belief in the power of prayer and provide occasions for showing gratitude to God. The thing to remember is that such examples of cause and effect are not the only ones that prove the value of prayer, and that those which show it less clearly are evidence of greater faith, greater love, greater trust, and generosity.” – Hubert Van Zeller