True North Missionaries Journal

It’s almost been a week since I walked across the stage and received my diploma. A new graduate of fashion school. Fashion school.. hm, in the eyes of people I surround myself with, fashion school sounds “fun and very girly”. In the eyes of my family, fashion school sounds “unappealing, a waste of time and a waste of money”. In this world we live in there is such a high standard of what you are suppose to do in this life to survive. Not only survive, but be successful. In my eyes, fashion school has impacted the way I view society and the way I view myself. Two years ago when I sent in my application for fashion school I knew this was my “calling”. I love to sketch, I love to sew, and I love clothes! This career suited me perfectly. Now that two years have passed and reality has sunk in. Who am I really? Am I a fashion design student who still believes this is my calling? Although designing is “fun and very girly” it has become “unappealing”. My views of this career has allowed me to see the girl I really am. The daughter I am. In my eyes, I don’t see a fashion design student. In my eyes, I see a child, a daughter of God still trying to discover herself, searching for something greater. I am a daughter of Christ who is called for greater things than just to be a designer. The Lord calls me to do greater things not only of this world, but for His glory. He has planted a desire in me to serve. Whether it is to serve within this community of CFC-Youth I know that I am called for greater things. I don’t just want to survive, I want to live. Live in the life Christ has set for me. And so I hold near to my heart this desire of mission He has placed upon me, asking for patience and perseverance so that I may truly do His will. Not my will, but Your will be done. Use me as your instrument and allow me to selflessly let go of all the materialism I hold near to my heart and replace it with your infinite and merciful love. It is only through Your eyes I may seek and find rest. 

 

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy of us.

John 14:21-26

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Anybody who receives my commandments and keeps them will be one who loves me… If anyone loves me he will keep my word…’ Jesus is telling us that there should be no difference between what we believe in and what we say from what we do. If we believe in love and say that we do love, we have to practice it.

We cannot say, “I love you” to someone and yet do unloving acts, like brothers who are courting someone and saying words of affirmation and yet is fishing on someone else or sisters who are playing with emotions of others. Real disciples are the one who can put their words into actions. The challenge of Christianity is not so much on preaching but practicing what we preach. Jesus was very clear; we can never live a double life.

It cannot be that we are good at words and yet do otherwise. We are to be word keepers, like Jesus whose words can be trusted.

On May 13th Daft Punk’s new album “Random Access Memories” became available to stream in full on iTunes. Since then I’ve been trying to find the time to listen to the 74 minute album straight but I haven’t had the time.

How disappointing is that? Very.

—

I’ve fooled myself, as I believe a lot of us have, into thinking that I can become a master of multitasking. At any given point in the day I’ll be on my Mac with multiple spaces open and at least 4 open tabs in Safari. iTunes is usually streaming music to my Apple TV as I use 3 and 4 finger gestures to navigate my digital workspace. My iPhone is of course readily accessible to message using SMS, iMessage, Facebook Chat, GroupMe, Whatsapp and Skype.

Being hyper connected has enabled all of us to accomplish great things, but at what cost?

After work on Monday I was rushing to the west island of Montréal towards St. John Fisher to partake in an hour of adoration from 6pm to 7pm. A great friend, Glen, was driving me and a few other sisters, but due to traffic we got there a bit late, around 6:10. When we walked into the chapel I found a place to sit down and I immediately put my phone on silent and knelt before the Lord. After a few minutes of trying to focus solely on Jesus I was greeted with a familiar itch to check my notifications. I picked up my phone but somehow resisted the urge and ended up opening the Living with Christ app to reflect on the gospel.

At 7pm I did my final prayer and left the adoration chapel and the first thing I did was to check my missed notifications. I was waiting outside expecting Glen and the other sisters to come out, but they didn’t come. I waited and waited and started to feel sort of guilty for leaving right away. Finally, at about 7:10 Glen and another sister came out.

Later on that night I asked Glen quite simply, “how was your time in adoration?”, to which he replied, “good, I needed the whole hour”.

Lesson learned.

Today I commit myself to take the time to listen to “Random Access Memories” front to back, because there’s a beauty in the way the artists arranged this album. They put their heart and soul into it and hoped for us to experience it in a certain way.

The Lord gives us hope, and to receive it we just need to sit and listen.

– Jesse R.

I guess you could look at being overwhelmed in 2 ways:1) Here is google’s definition:

OVERWHELMED:

1. Bury or drown beneath a huge mass.
2. Defeat completely.

Here’s the other way that the Lord has truly been pushing me understand the meaning overwhelmed:

Overwhelmed:

1. Drowning in Christ’s love, blessings and opportunities.

2. Undefeated through Christ.

Arriving here in Winnipeg, Manitoba last week on May 8th has been an OVERWHELMING experience so far, but in a good way. I arrived here with some one the CFC YOUTH BIG SKY CORE GROUP welcoming me at the airport with open arms, love and lots of enthusiasm. We were able to go back to the Contreras’ house (My host) where we celebrated God’s blessing of a Full-time pastoral worker in Winnipeg. Already, I have been blessed with being able to participate in: March for life, RYC Session Speaker and Sharer Screenings, Mission trip to Virden, CFC General Assembly, a busy Mother’s day with the Contreras Family, and two one on ones. *HUGE DEEP BREATH IN*

I truly Praise God for overwhelming me with these wonderful experiences that express Christ’s love not only to me but to others. This love from Christ has made me excited to continue finding Him through everything and anything and to continue giving hope to others.

Lord, continue leading, guiding and reminding me that YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE and I am just a vessel for other people to experience you.

 

May God be praised.

When a great crowd gathered and people from town after town came to him, he said in a parable: “A sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell on the path and was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered for lack of moisture. Some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew with it and choked it. Some fell into good soil, and when it grew, it produced a hundredfold.” As he said this, he called out, “Let anyone with ears to hear listen!” (Luke 8:4-8)

I am thankful that my parents raised me up in the Catholic faith. In particular, I am thankful that they enrolled me in the Catholic education system (elementary and high school). I didn’t know at the time, but my parents were just trying to help the seed of faith grow in good soil.

I was given the opportunity to serve as an alumni leader for my high school grad retreat. It was really tough to see how taboo our faith is in a Catholic high school, as difficult as that is to understand. But I could easily relate to them because I was once there too.

All throughout high school, I took the seed of faith and placed it among thorns where it was choked. I was choking myself from experiencing Jesus. Bad choices and decisions led to many hardships, broken relationships and emptiness. However, after experiencing what life was like without Jesus, I chose to experience life with Him. There was nothing to lose from choosing the Lord. It was difficult. Growing is difficult. It hurts. But as Fr. Dave says, “if it doesn’t hurt, maybe we’re not growing”.

The retreat was an opportunity to be an instrument of the Sower. And that opportunity is something given to me every day. I just need to choose it. I need to choose the Lord, His soil, every day. Every opportunity to love is an opportunity to sow seeds and for our seeds to be sown in good soil. Every opportunity to choose love is an opportunity to choose God.

Thank You, Lord, for the people in my life who have helped me grow in faith. Thank You for allowing me to experience Your love through their love for me. You have commissioned me to be an instrument of love to help sow seeds of faith in others. Grant me the grace to choose Love in every opportunity You give me.

 

 

During a shift last week, I had to check up on one of the tenants who missed his medication earlier in the day, which was out of character for him. As I stood and knocked quietly at his door and asked him if he was okay he replied that he was out shopping in the morning. He then asked if I wanted to see what he bought. I was surprised, but I cheerfully agreed. He opened his door and proudly showed me the gifts he had bought for his mom (“Rose”). Strewn across his tiny room was a painting with a rose and music notes (“she loves music”), a large pillow with a pattern of roses, a fancy lawn chair with a table that folded out with pockets on the side for magazines and books, and some tanning oil. He explained that his mom had been sick during the winter and became rather pale so he wanted her to go out and get some sun. As he was describing this to me, he unfolded the chair and motioned that he wanted his mom to put some sun tan oil on while basking in the sun on her chair. He had to make 5 trips in total to the local store to be able to bring all this back home with him!

This may seem rather small for anyone reading this.. but if you had read some of my posts before, you would know that a few of the people I work with were chronically homeless. This means that they have lived at shelters or the streets for a large part of their lives. I know that he had spent a good fraction of his monthly income to get these gifts for his mom so I couldn’t help but be concerned.

“You must have spent a lot on all this,” I told him.
“It’s alright, I still have some saved up. I can always go to the soup kitchen for my lunch and dinner anyway,” he replied.

These words warmed my heart and I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t tear up. The love he had for his mom… The gratitude he felt towards her was so inspiring. He had chosen to show his love for his mom by giving her gifts that he was unable to give her before. Although for me, I never know what to give my mom, it really made me think… Lately my mom and I have been bumping heads, not because of anything either of us have done, but more because of my desire to just be alone, and if your mom is like mine, you’d know that she doesn’t like distance from her children. His love for his mom had reminded me of how I needed to treat my own mom, the woman who gave, and continues to give, me and my brothers her all.

Lord, I thank you for this wonderful reminder.. I’m sorry for sometimes taking her for granted, and I thank you also, for the gift of a loving mother.