True North Missionaries Journal

In today’s Gospel reading (Luke 1:39-56).. we read of the pregnant Mother Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth (who was pregnant too)
The minute Elizabeth caught sight of her cousin approaching, she was filled with the Holy Spirit and the baby in her womb leaped for joy in recognition of the Lord approaching.

It’s amazing how the Lord drives the heart that is willing to follow.
even though the Lord was not yet born, Mary’s heart to follow the inclination of the Lord gave her the will to “make haste” to see her pregnant cousin.. despite her own pregnant state.

I don’t know if I’ll make sense here but when I read this passage I am in awe of how much Mary loves the Lord that she would even risk her own health to go on a days journey to fulfill the desire of the Lord.
Not only that.. we don’t hear of her being frantic, stressed or worried at all. She seemed composed, recollected, and sure of what the Lord desires.

and because of that the Lord grew and manifest within her, that even though He was not born yet.. His mere presence within Mary created an excitement to the people around including the child in Elizabeth’s womb.

Amazing.

A common reflection that the Lord has revealed to me throughout this year has been these words: BE SILENT,  LISTEN, & SEE. 

Silent your heart and your mind. The Lord affirmed me that through the calm and still posture of silence, the louder the Lords voice will be heard and the clearer your thoughts may be.

Listen. Open your ears and listen to the voice of God. He has so much to share to you, and with the busyness of our lives, sometimes the stillness of an open ear and open heart may reveal more revelations through this posture.

See. Open your eyes and be a witness to His greatness! The beauty He has planted within our lives needs to be witnessed by all. 

Allow Him to dwell your heart. The greatest posture is to trust in Him and surrender.

 

“All things are naked and open to His eyes.” – Hebrews 4:13

Most of the time, loneliness stems not from the physical state of being alone, but from feeling misunderstood. Being alone in the recesses of your mind may be the most loneliest feeling. There are our acquaintances, our friends, our family, and we allow them into different parts of our lives; some knowing more of us, and some knowing less. But there are some parts of us that even if we tried to make someone else understand, they just won’t be able to.

For me, people see an areahead, and now an MV, someone who is constantly joyful and positive, a good student, an ideal daughter.. some of those can be contested depending on your relationship with me and the day you catch me on, but there’s a part of me that I feel is so untouchable.. no matter how much you see and how much I tell you, there will always be that part of me that will remain just mine. And I think that it’s when we focus on that part of us that we feel most alone.. You can tell someone about your disappointments, your sadness, and your hurts, but only you will truly understand the deepness of those pains.

God is more present in the parts of your life that you hide. He’s more present in those parts of me that I both try to push away to non-existence but the very parts of me that I hold on tightly to and clench my fingers around pretending both at the same time that they don’t exist, but also being acutely aware of their existence as I hide them. He is more interested in those parts of us, not to scold us or to shake his head in disapproval or disappointment, but to embrace us.

And when even our ugly parts are embraced, we know that we are truly loved.

 

It is in this event where Mary proclaimed “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior”. Words that are so memorable from the Magnificat.
How single-minded Mary was for the Lord. The phrase above was so powerful that I can truly feel that every part of her body, from her fingernails to her hair, her every being, was focused on God.

 
It’s a struggle for me to think of being like Mary, can I proclaim the greatness of God when someone cuts me off the road while driving, can I be like Mary when someone tells an offensive joke and I’m tempted to laugh along?

 
I can probably count the times I have acted Christ-like easier than the times I do not, because the former is by far fewer in number. But the more I see Christ in others, the more I immerse myself in people who inspire, the more I become a part of a community of believers like CFC; I know this trend will be reversed one day. Saints were not born saints; they became saints, because like Mary, they became single-minded for God. I know that as much as I stumble, Christ will be there to pick up me and will walk with me. Sainthood, one step at a time.

Hear me, daughter, do not glean in any other field… Keep close to my maids and follow where they glean. – Ru 2:8-9

“Like Ruth, Mary is allowed to gather the ears of corn (glean) after harvesters. The harvesters she follows are evangelical laborers constantly harvesting souls for God. To Mary alone is granted to save the most hardened sinners, abandoned even by the harvesters.” – St. Bonaventure (Mary Day by Day)

There are times when we feel as if the weight of a person’s soul rests on our shoulders, and no matter how many times we try to help, it just seems like a lost cause. I know that I’ve had such experiences, and more often than not, my response is always shame or guilt in not being able to fulfill my responsibilities as a sister.

In reading this, I realized that there are a multitude of things that are beyond my control and understanding, things that probably only Our Universal Mother would understand.

In those moments where we feel helpless in helping others, maybe the Lord’s will is not for us to feel as if we have abandoned that brother or sister, but rather, to trust that there are some things best dealt with by a loving mother’s embrace.

 How to breathe in the right kind of air

It’s SHOUT Day 2 for the area core of the Greater Toronto.  We’ve just had a full day of chores and workshops, and now I find myself taking a metaphorical “breather” while doing the most calming chore in the world: shredding paper.  It’s a tedious, a one-dimensional task, but bringing some sort of peace, the focus of my mind on “automatic mode”,  moving on the simple act of “grabbing” and “feeding paper” into the paper monster.

This SHOUT is but another event surrounding the Summer Mission blitz, right smack in the middle of RYC from Canadien Region, and the next MV SHOUT. As the busyness continues, His message for me remains the same: “Fix my eyes on Jesus”. A challenge to take in the “right kind of air”, exhaling the stress and migraine, and calling on the Spirit. To be faithful to prayer, inspiring myself from the right source of energy.

Lord, allow me to be focused on you, to gaze upon your face despite the tasks that surround me.  Send forth your Spirit to revitalize my conviction to live the calling you lay out for me each and every day, amen.