True North Missionaries Journal

(Reflection for the week of May 27 – June 2)

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Mustard seeds are tiny.  They resemble sesame seeds but are even smaller.  Imagine having faith in God as small as that and still being able to command a mountain to move and it would listen.

It’s hard for us to wrap our heads around the concept because we’re so fixated on the part of the statement that says “the size of a mustard seed”.  Because we’re visual thinkers, we think about that tiny little seed, we think about it’s puniness and it’s almost being irrelevant in the matter of moving mountains.  What we forget is that when we have faith, we are saying we believe, and when we believe in something it is because we accept it as true.  We accept that God and all He says and all He promises is true and when we accept God we also invite Him to be with us, be in us. That alone is why we can move mountains even if our faith is tiny.

But let us be reminded, the mountain does not move because you tell it to, it moves because it is submissive to the God of creation who is in you.

(reflection for the week of May 20 – 26)

I always find it a blessing when I’m asked to share or asked to give a talk and immediately after it, I can barely remember what I said.  I take it as an affirmation that it was no longer I speaking but the Holy Spirit speaking through me and Praise God He did.

This past week, I had to say goodbye to my Ate Chona and my Godson Gabe.  No words could explain how beautiful these two people were or how important they were to me, so imagine my heart break magnified as the family asked me to give a joint eulogy.  I grew up in the community, giving talks was normal.  I was a recruiter for three years, I was trained to talk, trained to speak in front, trained to catch and hold people’s attention, yet somehow I couldn’t drum up anything to say without breaking down into tears.

It’s in this form of desolation that a little bit of clarity found me.  We have but a small and incomplete piece of God’s bigger and BETTER picture so trying to find answers is almost foolish.   And because of this, it really pushed me to seek refuge in my personal relationship with Him.  That’s when it got a little bit clearer; when I experience things that turn my whole world upside down,  it just reaffirms and confirms that we need to re-turn to Him.

Yesterday, at the Sunday mass for Corpus Christi, one of the things the priest talked about was the importance of preparing to receive the Eucharist, for us to really take into heart preparing for this very wonderful gift.  He even said that it’s a better sign of your faith not to take communion because you’re not prepared rather than taking the host without the preparation.

 

It really digs to the core of our faith, how we need to really prepare to connect with Jesus in a very intimate way.  The Eucharist is one of the most visible sign of the Lord’s presence within us.  Sometimes preparing for mass can be just an exercise of going through the motions, a weekly habit.  I sometimes feel guilty about trying to count the minutes when the mass is done, but never when going through a two hour movie (where I sometimes wish the movie was even longer).

 

How about confession?  Do I really examine my conscience before going to confession?  In fact, the examination of conscience should be a daily routine not just at the instance before going to confession.

 

How about preparing for an activity or event as a service to God?  Do I just go through the motions for the sake of holding the event or do I prepare spiritually (more than just logistics)?

Man, I fail many times.

Lord, help me to be more in tune to you, help me to connect more with you in every second that you allow me to live this life. 

God is the architect. In His design in us, we are perfect. Though He continues to build on us, and though our walls crash, He is the one that rebuilds us. We all share the same foundation. He builds on that foundation. That foundation is His love.

We were built to love. You are built to love.

PACIFIC MV SHOUT 2013

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.”- 2 Timothy 1:7

Desiderio Domini

 

“Every person, every encounter, and every moment in life is: significant “

 

Last weekend CFC-Youth Montreal travelled to Ottawa for our Regional Youth Conference. We were more than 120 young people gathered to witness God’s invitation.

One of them was my godson.

Last weekend, God reminded me of what it truly means to be a godmother.

Most parents like to boast about how their children have inherited so many similar character traits and physical traits as themself. I guess being a godparent you tend to search for certain commonalities you have with your god child as well.

As for me, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are opposites.

I’m 4″11 and my godchild is 6″2
I’m energetic
He’s quiet
I’m affectionate
He’s chill
I like jumping at people
He’s happy with where he is
I’m his Ninang (godmother)
He’s my godson

I was thrilled to have my godson present at the RYC, having him experience God, with me, under the same roof was mind boggling! I didn’t think this was his thing and because this was really out of his comfort zone. My godson is a little shy and has been inactive in the last year. Therefore, I was so amazed and so proud that he woke up at 5:00 am to attend the RYC even though he doesn’t know most of the youth and he doesn’t talk much to others.

Just having him there was already a blessing.

Throughout the RYC, because I was behind the scenes, I didn’t get to see him much. But I would always scan the room to see where he was or what he was doing. The day went by so fast that I was so upset at myself for not getting the chance to spend enough time with him…by the time I was able to catch my breathe it was already time for the final Praisefest.

At the beginning of the Praisefest, I was so happy and overjoyed that the RYC was already such a success despite its challenges. In the span of 8 hours we were able to experience God through the sessions, competitions, worships, creatives, Adoration, and during the Holy Mass. I ran up to the front to worship, with my hands up in the air signing. As I was worshipping I remained joyful, but for some reason at the middle of the first song I felt The Lord telling me that I shouldn’t be there. And at that moment, I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I saw my godson standing at the back of the room. I closed my eyes, opened them again and walked to the back of the room.

I stood right beside my godson.

I looked at him and put my arm around his lower back (because that was as high as I could reach!) and I asked him if he was ok. He looked down and told me that he was ok. I know that for someone who may be really shy and doesn’t talk or say much, knowing that this was his first RYC Praisefest with this many people…all this was new for him. I didn’t blame him if he was overwhelmed. At this point the worship song was “God in me”, I continued singing as I prayed with my eyes closed. At one point I stopped singing and I heard a male voice singing too, I opened a sliver of my eye and glanced to my left.

I saw my godson moving his lips, I heard him singing…

“No longer I, but Christ in me, My heart desires in His majesty”

And he kept repeating it…and repeating it..
He was singing it louder
And louder each time…

“No longer I, but Christ in me, My heart desires in His majesty”

I couldn’t believe what was happening in front of my eyes
I realized why I was here at this RYC
Why I was present at this very moment

Simply…
To worship God with my godson

Hearing him sing

“No longer I, but Christ in me, My heart desires in His majesty”

Made me realize the importance of being a godparent

 

To long for your godchild to desire Christ more than you can ever have

I wrapped my arm around his and continued worshipping alongside him.

Today is his 16th birthday
16 years ago I didn’t know that I would be experiencing God through my godson
God knew

And I realized that though my godson and I may seem like opposites
We are actually very similar

We love to sing (Both our secret interests! Shhh)
We love to sing to God
We love God

I also realized why the relationship of a God-parent and God-child is so precious.
Because it is God who unites us.
It is the God-Mother who makes sure God is present in the life of their God-Child.
It is the God-Child who subconsciously reminds the God-Mother that it is:

“No longer I, but Christ in me, My heart desires in His majesty”

How beautiful is this service of love that God has given us!

God is calling us to meet our godchildren right where they are, right where they need us.
Thank you Lord,
My godson is God-sent!
Our godchildren are God-sent!

Amen 🙂