True North Missionaries Journal

A few days ago in the readings, St. Paul spoke about having a thorn—some kind of suffering—in his life and praised God for it because it kept him from being too elated with himself. He then, with pure humility, stated how if he is going to boast, that he will only boast in his weakness because Christ’s strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

Praise God for our weaknesses. They humble us and keep us from being too elated in ourselves or boasting in ourselves. Let us have a healthy acceptance of our weaknesses and sufferings. When faced with the realization of weakness and suffering, we can choose between two things: trust more in ourselves or trust more in God. I think that if we choose to trust in ourselves we will be disappointed. However, if we trust in God, we will never be disappointed.

I think the world sees suffering as the absence of God. However, as a Christian, I believe that suffering is a great opportunity to experience the presence of God. If only we humble ourselves, accept the thorn on our side, and embrace our cross, we would surely be on our way to experiencing God’s glory and victory in our lives. Truly we would be on the path of holiness.

Oh, how weak am I. How easy it is for me to fall into sin. How easy it is for my thoughts to sway away from what is true, good, and beautiful. How often do I squander God’s graces each day and do not use the talents He’s given me as I should. How often do I desire sinful things. How selfish am I.

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

I learned that the Lord never reveals Himself to someone without giving them a mission. He revealed Himself to Abraham and told him to leave his country (among many other things). The Lord revealed Himself to Moses in a burning bush and told him to go back to free the Israelites. He revealed Himself to Isaiah to begin his duties as a prophet. The Lord revealed Himself to Mary to bear the Son of God. He reveals with a purpose. He commissions.

My last reflections have really lead me to this one. If God is always with us, revealing Himself to us, then He is, without a doubt, asking us to do something. Scratch that. He’s not asking us. He’s telling us. And if He’s telling us to do something, what’s really stopping us?

Pride? Envy? Anger? Sloth? Greed? Gluttony? Lust? All of the above. And as much as pride is the root of it all, I learned that pride derives from fear. A fear that God is someone who is dangerous, who limits our freedom. A fear that makes us think that His ways interfere with our ways. This fear stops us in our tracks, makes us hesitate, makes us doubt. These deadly sins are a mountain, one built on top of another.

Thank God for the Sacraments. Thank God for the heavenly virtues. Thank God for humility, kindness, patience, diligence, charity, temperance, chastity. Thank God for multiple chances. Thank God for not giving up on us. Choosing to to accept God’s grace and to grow in virtue will help us hear and carry out what the Lord commissions us to do.

There is no need to fear Love.

 

For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. -Ecclesiastes 4:10

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.-John 15:13

I missed last weeks reflection due to the overall busyness of life. So here goes. Where ever you want me to go with this Lord, I am listening.

Last week, a really close friend of mine was given a test from God, to trust in His plans and to look deeper into what seemed a world that was falling apart for this sister of mine.

And that’s what was so beautiful. The support system that is our community, and the support system that is our Catholic faith…

It really isn’t about the quantity of time you’ve known someone, but really how much you are willing to sacrifice to simply be there for each other.

And there it is again. Another beautiful thing. Just the thought that I would have never met any of these people if it wasn’t for this community.

I dunno, there is a lot going on in the mind at the moment…but the sure thing that is so evident is that I owe God my everything for the people that I have in my life that I can call my real friends.

Lord, I thank You for the people in this community that You have given me. Though I may take them for granted at times, I see that You have a purpose for them in my life. I lift them up to You, in hopes that You may continue to be present in them, and that You bless them abundantly. May I never fall short of being the best I can be to them, as You have planned for me to be the best friend I can be, to whoever, when ever. Lord, I offer my life to You, take over.

 

 

 

 

 

” Our minds are constantly filled, it may seem impossible to clear it out…”

I lay flat on my back

I close my eyes.
I let go of my hands
And I let my left arm fall at my side
Then my right arm
My abdomen starts to rise
As I

take a deep breathe

My knees start to relax
My calves gently rest on the surface of the floor
My feet give in and open away from each other
With each set of toes facing their respective walls
As I

take a deep breathe

I lay there with my thoughts
As it

Poured

Did You say something Lord?
Am I what who You want?
I’m not sure what I want…
What do You want of me Lord?
What do you want me to do?
I have so much to do…
Did I pray?

And it

Poured

I forgot to pray…
Am I praying now?
I can’t breathe
My heart
So heavy
My mind
So filled

Overflowing

Then it caught my ear

Drop

Drop
Drop
Drop

Drop
Drop
Drop

The sound of water hitting my window

It was pouring

Rain

The rain knocking on my window
Felt like the Lord was seeking my attention
So I paid close attention to the rain

Then it became clear

Through the knocking of the rain The Lord responded

“Yes, my Child I did say something”

“You are everything that I want”

“And this I am sure!”

“I want ALL of YOU”

“So that you can LOVE with ALL of your HEART”

“WE have so much to do

“You are praying now”

And The Lord

Responded

“You did not forget…
But WE are conversing now”

“You are breathing”
“Your heart is
So heavy
but so FULL of LOVE
Your mind is
So filled
but so FILLED with JOY“

“I love you my child,
let me in, even when it pours”

My eyes remained closed
I took a deep breathe

I sat up
And I opened the window
And it poured

—-
Lord God,
Thank you for speaking to me even when my mind seems so preoccupied with overwhelming thoughts and never ending tasks. Thank you for allowing me to be sensitive to Your Spirit in the things that surround me. Being able to hear your voice in the midst of the pouring rain. Thank you Lord for allowing me to recognize that even when it pours, we may experience pain through the rain, but the more we are able to experience the gain that the Lord blesses us with.
The Lord speaks, even when it rains.
We are called to listen, even when it rains.

Amen 🙂

A piece of paper worth almost $25,000.. ever seen or heard that kind of paper? hehe
I have po and I’m sure most of you have too po hehe.

Alas after 5 years, last week Friday, I was able to hold such a paper..
convocation! #PG hehe

It was a blessed and joyful day.. it was MV shout week.. Amee’s convocation was the day before.. the weather was beautiful 🙂
but the Lord always has His ways of tapping my head or slapping (gently hehe) my face to somewhat wake me up to reality (this is a good and joyful thing po hehe)..

as I was waiting for my name to be announced and as I walked forward to get “hooded” and to shake people’s hands..the Lord made His move..

btw, this is how the convocation path looked like from my pov..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

as I was walking down the carpet/stage, all that went through my head was “yay! finally done! I did it!” and I just couldn’t wait to finish it with the walk down the stage..
but for some reason as a took my first step down that carpet.. my left foot slipped out of my shoe and I almost lost my balance (my family didn’t notice it but I felt it hehe)

at that moment, it was like the Lord tapped me to remind me of why and how I came to that point..
in a way He was also reminding me that His teaching or courses for me is not done..
every moment is the continuation of His work and plan unfolding..
don’t get too excited and assume the end because there is more..
learning does not end in convocation. I guess it’s only a check point? hehe
learning and discerning goes beyond..

I don’t know if I am making any sense here..
but the Lord has truly blessed me in giving me the opportunity to experience such victories like graduating.
And I thank the Lord for always giving me small and sometimes big taps to remind and bring me back to reality..
it’s all Him, in Him, with Him.
Thank you po PapaG 🙂

..EOS