True North Missionaries Journal

One random day, just met someone new:

Random person: “So what is it that you do?”

Me: “I’m a full-time pastoral worker for CFC-Youth. I’m…[with God-fearing conviction] a MISSIONARY.”

Random person: “Missionary? Oh wow, that’s awesome. So what kind of things do you do? Are you on leave?”

Me: [confused] “On leave?”

Random person: “Yeah, don’t you go to Africa, or something?”

Me: [recoiling] “Ohhhh, no I don’t.  [prays, internally refocuses]. It’s kind of the modern day kind. I work with youth in different parishes…”

This was a dialogue I got a couple of times in trying to explain Full-Time Pastoral/Mission work to someone. In this day and age, nothing is an easy explanation, especially with anything related to being a Missionary, usually taking a couple more sentences aside from “I do mission work.”.

This becomes really evident when it comes to explaining Mission to loved ones.  I find that in those situations, not only am I faced with explaining the ambiguous nature of Mission, but having to tackle all the questions that will reassure them…that I am not jeopardizing my life plan. About three years ago:

Me: “Mom, I think I want to do Full-Time work.”

Mom: “What is this Full-Time work?”

Me: [discerning] “Like what Arnold did? Kinda like working for YFC, full time. [In “hyping up” voice].  You get to…[insert sharing of the day: anything from “plan Conferences”, “changing people’s lives”, “fly on planes”, etc.].

A year later:

Mom: “Ah…you get to travel, eh? Ok, do that.  I did also when I was younger.  Go for it. I also know this makes you happy.” 

Sharing and explaining Mission may be unpredictable and uncomfortable, but choosing to weather all of it, the posture taken, describes perfectly what a Missionary does: to Witness to Him, no matter what.  God, in turn, never leaves us hanging.  In every situation, I’ve found that He inspires, in a timely manner:

• Some sort of DESIRE to witness: to something that is ultimately GOOD, despite this good being totally, incomprehensible.  Which makes sense…the Call (and the One who calls) is beyond ourselves.
• COURAGE to do so: despite the sum of all fears and doubts, we find ourselves talking about Mission to that person/group anyway.

Witnessing is an active LEADING of the Spirit: not always the same words, not always the same emphasis. A demonstration of the Holy Spirit‘s flexibility and the Father‘s creativity. Whether in clear words, or simply through our posture, God emboldens us to proclaim and become the needed the Word the world needs. Being a Missionary is not so much about explaining What we do, but Whom we want to make known.

 Lord, as Missionaries, give us listening ears to hear the words that will proclaim You. Bring about in us the desire to witness to You, and embolden us to be You living word. Amen. 

This past Tuesday.. we had our sfc hh and we basically reflected on the gospel for that day (lectio po hehe)
The gospel we reflected on was Matthew 7:6, 12-14

It was a tough gospel to understand but thanks to the sisters int eh hh.. what I got from it is: We are precious and loved.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to re-iterate my thoughts through this blog so hopefully this makes sense po hehe

The lectio reminded me that each one of us is precious to Our Father. We shouldn’t think less of ourselves or doubt our self worth or doubt *period* (“We are pearls”)
It also reminds me of what we are all called to do.. to love others (“Golden rule”). Like us, others are equally precious and loved by Our Father; therefore, we must love (“because it is the law”)
The Gospel also reminded me of the struggles that one (we) will face trying live a life of loving because it’s out of the norm.. it’s a path that is narrow (“but it leads to life”)

hehe I don’t know if that made sense.. but everyone, you are precious and loved po.
We will be faced with challenges, struggles, doubts fires, hi-los, storms, silence, grey matter etc. especially in this journey where our direction is out of the norm of society/world..
but we should never forget and always hold on to the fact that we special, we are and will forever be loved.
..fighting! and God bless~

Last week, my Couple Coordinators celebrated their 25^th wedding anniversary. They renewed their vows and were so generous enough to invite all their friends present who wished to renew their vows to join them.

I had the pleasure of seeing my parents renew their vows to each other. It was a joy to see my parents along with the other couples, facing each other, still smitten by their love, recommitting themselves to one another in front of everyone.

The vocation of marriage takes serious discernment just like any other vocation. For those called to married life, they are to be “no longer two but one” (Mt 19:6). In this way they are to live in love, be fruitful, and thus become a sign of God himself, who is nothing but overflowing love [Youcat 260].

The basic unit of our society, the family, starts with the marriage of a man and a woman, giving of themselves entirely to the other, in service and in love. An exchange of Trinitarian love with man, woman and Christ. A covenant made with the Eucharistic sacrifice uniting their offering of their lives to each other with the offering of Christ for his Church, so that they may be ‘one body in Christ’ (1621).

How blessed are we to be in a community called Couples For Christ, and to be witnesses to amazing couples, marriages, and families overflowing with Christ’s love.

I thank God for being able to witness the beauty of 15+ couples renew their vows with one another and to celebrate the fruitful love they have for each other.

Tonight, as I was cleaning the living room, I came across an old CD that my sister and I used to listen to with my dad. It was a CD full of ballroom tracks that triggered memories from when I was a child. My dad would come home, and play the CD, and take my sister and I, and dance with us. I decided to play it, and my dad and I just started laughing about the silly ways we used to dance and began to relive those moments. Of course, when I was a child, I had absolutely no sense of direction, nor did I have any idea what ballroom dancing was, but dancing wasn’t the thing that made the memory. It was dancing with my father.

Now, I’m sure everyone has a sweet memory from their childhood with their father, their mother, their grandparents, their siblings, or any loved one that when you see, hear, feel, or taste something that triggers the memory, it’s like you’re stuck in some kind of nostalgia that you just never want to let go of.

Now, I find that the father making these kinds of memories with me is no longer just my dad, but my Father from above. In worship, He dances with me… in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, He romances me by telling me that I am loved and out of that love, through body and blood, we unite. He holds me in adoration, and even if it may be only an hour or two, His love never fails envelop my heart and break any chains that try to bind me in doubt. And even in my sinfulness, He continues to call me… and I am blessed to be baptised with a renewed spirit each time I come to Him in Reconciliation… And just like that, I can run back to Him each time, as a child to her father.

My Father, through simple acts and simple ways, continues to build memories with me on this earth. It is in these memories of love that when I sin, I cannot wait to come to Him in repentance because I remember how fresh I feel, baptised with His Spirit. It is through these memories that when I eat, no matter what it is, I am blessed because with my Father, it is in food as simple as Bread that he chooses to unite Himself in me in His house. It is through these growing memories that in song, I can close my eyes and lift my hands in praise, knowing that as soon as I do, He is there, ready to meet me and take me in His arms in a loving stride… a dance in secret that only He and I can ever feel and see.

It is in these memories, memories of BOTH my fathers, that I know joy…
I know peace…
I know love…

And it is in these memories that I can say:
“I love you, Dad,”
“I love you, Father.”

And it is also through these memories that even before I am married, I have met my greatest romance.

I love you, Lord!
I love you, Dad!

When you limit the Lord especially in prayer you are also limiting yourself from the special graces that he can give you.  Your prayer might have been, “Lord, I want you to do this.”  Well do you already see what is happening there?  He’s probably saying “haha or else what?”  Our prayer (at one point mine) became narrow that we’re forcing him to help us.  I don’t think he wants that.  He moves in his own time and we… move in His time.  A prayer should not be narrow, it should be specific.  The Lord wants to know details who, what, when, where, how, and why.  Thats why we should not be afraid to tell him what’s in our mind.  Through this prayer he is teaching us to be specific, accountable, and to initiate. He’s teaching us to be faithful and to rely on him.  He watches our humility grow because now we’re telling him everything.  What’s next?  We want to know what He wants!  His faithfulness to us returns as grace to move forward.  No longer limited to a limitless God.

@itsmetimmm