True North Missionaries Journal

I entered St. Ambrose Parish in Cambridge, ON, making my way towards a pew (just to reflect), I noticed a small little shelf-like “library” they had. They had shelves of Catholic books for children, teenagers, adults, a few cassettes, and a collection of DVD’s! I don’t know why I chose to do this, but I decided to look into the box where all the index cards stating who has borrowed which item and decided to pull out a random card. What I saw brought me smiles… The book I saw was about the last hours of Christ and the last two names written were Catherine Quinto and Jen Ocampo, two of the most inspiring leaders of my generation in the community! One of them became a nun and is currently placed in Philippines, and the other has moved forward with her life exploring other vocations! And I immediately thought, “Lord, what does this mean? I want to find this book! (HAHA)”

I searched for the book, but couldn’t find it. And maybe that was what God what wanted to happen. As I continued to search, I heard the faint noise of a ceremony being conducted inside the church… and then I heard laughter. Moved by this, I made my way inside and took a seat at a pew. As I sat down, I noticed a large family gathered at the front having JUST finished a child’s Baptism! And as I admired the beauty of such a gathering, I began to notice the children – probably cousins – rising and running around to play – HIDE AND SEEK… inside the church and no one seemed to mind… No one came out from the office (as one could hear any noise inside the Church despite of where you are) to tell the children to stop. In the midst of this, I was overcome with confusion – NOT BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION I WAS WITNESSING, BUT BECAUSE OF MYSELF.

A situation like this would have typically annoyed, frustrated and angered me before, yet here I am, right in the middle of this, feeling nothing but peace! And I noticed, this is something I’ve been feeling for a while… peace. As the sound of small running footsteps and tiny little giggles began to grow louder and louder, closer and closer, and began to fill the church,  in peace, I began to understand…

this is how our Father must feel when He hears us -His children – filled with joy.

In the noise indicating our joys, the louder they become, the more peaceful and joyful our Lord must feel! When we attend Mass and sing, or even when we utter our praises to Him, and when we spend time with our families, conversing and laughing and sharing our joys… He must be smiling down at us 🙂

Love and joy go hand in hand. Imagine the world. Which would you rather see more often: Serious, straight, focused, analytic faces filled with deep thought and silence, OR a world filled with the sound of joyful chatter, laughter, and celebration? Love does not always have to be serious and reflective. Love can be expressed in joy! Love can be expressed in celebration! JOY…

“Just
   Offer
     Yourself“

I feel as though as we grow from one generation to the next, we have become more silent. More analytic. Less expressive. These children have become my idols. They know simplicity… They know joy… But most of all, they know the love of the Lord and they know how to express it in simplicity! We must be more joyful in what we do. If this is the peace I feel seeing how joyful these children can be, then how much more peaceful and joyful would the Lord be if I learn to offer myself with the same kind of crazy joy? I must carry a “zero self time” mentality to always strive to give my all to God – first, others – second, then myself – LAST. The call in this is ONE FAMILY – a family in the Lord, and hopefully, one day, my own little family as well 🙂

…in His time, for His greater glory, Amen.

JOYFUL, JOYFUL, LORD, WE ADORE THEE!
^-^

Back in the day I used to be a big fan of espionage-themed shows like Alias and Nikita.  Something about the “covert”, “secret” lifestyle of spies and moles really drew me in. The deception, the government conspiracies…all these were exciting to me.

Each day in Full-Time Work feels like an episode of these shows.  Every turn of day, I get briefed by Big Boss, where He runs the “Op. Tech”, shadows me on coms while I complete the Mission.  If I go of the script, repercussions do happen, but inevitable every twist in the plot ends in a hopeful ending.  Repeat two to three times a day.  Being in Mission is truly nothing short of a divine adventure:

• It requires allegiance to and trust in greater cause (CIA Christ)
• It celebrates victories that are not merely your own, but more those whom you serve. (love of country love of people of God)
• It requires complete surrender. (witness protection program for loved ones? #Goddoesntneedthat)

*Cue For This Cause (Hillsong)

Lord, I trust you with Everything. Help me to be always single-minded for You. 

             I’m turning 25 in a few short months and I have never spent February 14^th with a significant other. There were many times when I would spend this day licking my wounds and feeling more or less alone. Spending the day wishing I had let my guard down at some point in the year so that today I would have flowers, chocolates, and a hand in mine. As Valentine’s Day rolled around, I would spend my day staring angrily at the walls I had built, blinking hot tears away as I cursed the bricks of stone I had so neatly stacked. “It’s your own doing that you’re alone,” I would whisper to myself. Why had I not let anyone in? Why was I so afraid?

                There were even times when people would come close to the wall. I could hear them from the other side. A boy, placing his hand against the cold, hard stone. “How do I get in?” He would call out to me. “I… I don’t know,” I would call back, feeling defeated that my own fortifications were able to do the job in which I created them for. Then the boy and I would sit there, at opposite sides of the wall, talking, but never fully seeing each other. But as alone as I was, I had liked the comfort and protection that the walls provided. No one could hurt me from in here.

                Father, You have seen it all. You watched me as I tirelessly lugged the stone blocks back and forth, mustering all my energy as I heaved them on top of one another. Father, You saw how once I had completed the towering barricades, I stood there proudly crossing my arms and nodding as I marvelled its height. And Father, You saw how as the years passed, I grew weary of the echoes of my own voice as I called out to no one. You saw how even when I tried to break my own walls down, I couldn’t.

                Lord, I ask You now to help us… help us break down these walls that we’ve created. Take down the walls we might have built around ourselves, thinking that we were protecting our own hearts. Remind us that our hearts were never really here with us, but they have been up there with You all along… Give us gentle nudges when through our own fears of getting hurt, we might be closing ourselves off to well-meaning friendships. We know, Lord, we know, that You want our happiness more than we do, and never would you intend for us to get hurt.

                I sit here now smiling, because all this time You were always my Valentine.

On my recent Tuesdate at church I found myself asking the Lord, “Lord, why is it so hard to pray right now, how did I lose my routine and why did I go away from you.”   I feel once again I’ve fallen into “dryness.”  Everything feels weird, stale, and really I don’t like that feeling.  I think it would be pretty awesome if I was a bit more… salty.  eh eh

During my one on one I found myself saying “you know, its funny how when we fall out of prayer it just so happens that the things around us don’t seem right.”  There is a battle of prayer,  multiple factors could be affecting this feeling such as lack of faith and lack of trust.  It comes down to us.

Here’s what I learned about this battle.

CCC 2731 Another difficulty, especially for those who sincerely want to pray, is dryness. Dryness belongs to contemplative prayer when the heart is separated from God, with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, even spiritual ones. This is the moment of sheer faith clinging faithfully to Jesus in his agony and in his tomb. “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if dies, it bears much fruit.” If dryness is due to the lack of roots, because the word has fallen on rocky soil, the battle requires conversion.

Cling faithfully to Jesus and conversion is necessary, those are the words that shine out the most.

@itsmetimmm

Praise God.

I’m heading into my second year as an MV, and I am really excited to see what the Lord has in store for me.

With that said, I learned something in the last few weeks. Everything takes time.
Okay…not new..so what?

So, aside from being an MV, I was humbly called to be a chapter head. Something I have totally overlooked and thought I could handle. BOY, did God ever so much humble me.

So here’s the beauty to it. To love takes time. Quality time and quality effort! You have to really be vulnerable to breaking out of your tradition and breaking into newer blessings and opportunities the Lord will put in front of you.

I can go on with scripture, and all this and that in big words etc etc…but the point is,

Keep loving. Even when you’re tired…give more.

Pray for me. I’m trying to get used to breaking into the newer blessings of my chapter. I’ll pray for you! Heck, gimme a shout if you are reading this and want to even chill.

(Sorry for the long wait of a post, I just needed to affirm myself in prayer more)

Deo Gloria