To Have and To Hold…

“To have and to hold, all the days of my life…”

We hear it all the time… in movies EPIC movies… in novels… and we begin to dream of the oh-so-romantic moment it is our turn to say our vows. At least for most of us. But does this really portray the true meaning of marriage? WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN WHEN COUPLES STATE THEIR VOWS AT THE ALTAR? What does marriage really entail? Let’s break it down…

THE WEDDING.

I must admit, I’ve always dreamed of “the day”. I think it’s why I wanted a debut. It was the closest thing to a wedding, legally, without commitments and vows! … or so I thought…

Marriage is not about the decorations, or the dress, or the fancy banquet that follows. It is the ceremony celebrated with God and the banquet celebrated in unity and in our hearts. To marry another man is to marry the presence of God in him through the union made in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. But I cannot unify the presence of God in him until I have married my soul to Him first. A wedding, therefore is a celebration of unity… not cakes, dresses, diamonds, flowers, guests, etc. Those are bonuses HAHA (Hey, a woman can dream right?) So…

How can I prepare myself?

It is through constant discernment. I googled the vows a Catholic man and woman takes during the Wedding Ceremony itself. The dialogue goes something like this:

Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

When I read this, I thought that it was so beautiful!!! Why? Not because it is EPIC. Not because it brings “KILIG MOMENTS” (i.e. moments you get those butterflies and you want to just squeal because of all the cuteness). It’s because once again, it takes us back to the basics… It is because God loved me FIRST, and I am called to love Him back in His divine plan for me first before everything else…

 

THE VOW…

It is a vow I must make with God first, constantly re-establishing the very first moment of creation. God made His vow to me when He planned my existence – when He said to my soul:

“I take you to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you all the days of my life.”

And He held true to His promise:

  1. He takes me in as His wife when I unify my soul with Him, first in the Sacrament of Baptism, and continuously in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.
  2. He remains always true to me in good times and in bad through Adoration.
  3. He takes care of me in sickness and in health, spiritually through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and physically to some in the Anointing of the Sick.
  4. He will love me and honour me all the days of HIS life. Yes, all the days of HIS life because His love is eternal. He loved me before my existence, He loves me now, and after my soul leaves its vessel on earth, I deeply believe He will continue to love me…

The vow, therefore, is not between man and woman alone, but between Man and God first. Marriage must first occur with the Lord and in that Trinitarian love… in His time, God will share my heart and my vow with Him with the man that He so carefully molded for me. (God-willing, of course!)

 

MARRIAGE,
Therefore, is re-announcing the covenant and love between MAN and GOD, bringing us back to the beginning. GENESIS. “GOD’S PLAN AND HIS LOVE FOR US.” Through the love of God, He made woman from man, and in finding His Real Presence in our lives, man and woman is made whole with the Lord in living out His Trinitarian love.

“From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.’ So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
– Mark 10: 6-9

All of Me

During my morning skytrain ride to work I was listening to All of Me – John Legend. I had it on repeat and was humming along. After minutes of listening I felt as if the lyrics started to become personal. I felt as if the Lord was singing to me. God was singing a lullaby.

‘Cause all of Me
Loves all of you
When I died on the cross, I shed my blood for you. 
I made you perfectly, my child you are beautiful,
Give your all and consecrate yourself to Me.
I’ll give my all to you, I’ll show you the plans I’ve desired
You’re my end and my beginning 
Even when burdens are heavy, I’ll be carrying your cross for you.
‘Cause I give you all of Me 
And you give Me all of you. 
As the song kept playing, I was filled with so much joy as I recognized the gift of His love. When the Lord calls us, He doesn’t just call the successes we’ve achieved, our victories, or our growth. When He calls, He wants all of us; our brokenness, fears, doubts, scars, and even our open wounds. If we allow the Lord in our lives and in our hearts we lose nothing.  When we give our all to the Lord he will fill us with the greatest amount of love and joy.
Lord, fill our hearts with the desire to be willing to offer ourselves completely to You. Remind us of merciful and forgiving love so that we may not be frightened to give ourselves to You but fully trust in Your will and everything You have desired for our hearts. 
Benedictus Deus in Saecula

Discovery

No, not the credit card. I’m talking about that amazing phase event where it requires you to just simply give your all. Giving your all to the point where your giving something you didn’t even know you had.

With that said, every day should be a discovery.

And now we begin…

Something that I’m not good at is most definitely being knowledgeable about the faith in a sense where some people are just really book smart or they can just answer CCC questions etc etc

But what I did discover about myself this week is that, being that kind of knowledgeable can be worked on, but what needs to be worked on now, is just choosing to love happily.

So your saying…you have a heart of stone?

No…but what I am saying is despite the baggage we carry, despite the current daily struggles in life, the service we carry out in the community requires us to give more.

Give more when you are tired. Give more even at the heaviest of hearts. Give more to those that need you.

We can’t dwell on the things that just simply don’t add up to the love that the Lord has for us.

So what things do add up?

Absolutely nothing can add up to the amount of love the Lord has. That’s the point. He wants us to be happy. The more you can give yourself for the Lord, the more He will be more evident in those struggles, complications, desires and turn it into something even greater.

Lets spread that message. The life we live would not be a life without the lessons received in sacrifice, prayer, struggle and love. God has been great. There is nothing on this earth we cannot handle. Lets remind ourselves of that everyday. Lets continue to love. Lets continue to be happy.

Lord, may I see you through the times of unhappiness. May I be reminded of Your calling to share the love that you have shared with me through the rest of my life. I love You. I will love those around me. May I choose to give more of myself in proclamation of Your glory and in proclamation of your endless love which we can find every single second. Guide me. Father me.

Deo Gloria

Union With God

Our call demands union with God, because if it is God who calls us, union in Him is the way to know Him whom we are proclaiming or else we are proclaiming someone we do not know. Union with God means detachment from everything that prevents it otherwise.

Saint John of the Cross once said, “The soul that is attached to anything however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast; for, until the cord be broken the bird cannot fly.”

The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic 3/4 – Generosity

Generosity or charity is the life of a Christian-Catholic. This attribute is of monumental importance and at the same time, the very essence of what it means to be Catholic. We only need to think of Jesus Christ who was the Servant of all. Even the Vicar of Christ, the Pope, is called to be the ‘servant of the servants of God.’ To put it simply, to be Catholic is to give our lives  to God and to our neighbour without expecting anything in return for “you received without pay, give without pay.” (Mt 10:8).

The only way to be truly happy is to give our lives away. We know this because of the Cross. Thus, let us continue to ask the Lord “how are you calling me to surrender my life to You?” and respond courageously to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to lay down our lives each day.

“Life grows by being given away, and it weakens in isolation and comfort. Indeed, those who enjoy life most are those who leave security on the shore and become excited by the mission of communicating life to others.” –Pope Francis

 

Do You Love Me More Than These?

Yes, Lord! You know that I love You!

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord really knows that I love Him. Sometimes I wonder if I actually do things that say, “Lord, I love You”. I’m weak and I fall often. Surely the Lord doesn’t feel loved there. But I think the Lord isn’t quite after perfection as much as He’s after (or desiring) us as we are.

When Jesus asked Simon if He loved him, I think He was reminding all of us that the Lord wants our love first and foremost. The best way to love Him is by doing His will. His will for us is to live out our lives and do ordinary things extraordinarily well (as St. Don Bosco would say).

If you’re having a challenging time loving Jesus faithfully as He deserves like I am, we can ask our Mother Mary to help us as we pray:

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.

 

 

Prayer of Surrender and Generosity

Years ago when I was in despair, a sister in Christ, Catherine Quinto (now a nun), sent me two prayers that became very dear to me, even to this day.  I hope these prayers help you as much as they have helped me.

Both are by St. Ignatius of Loyola.

Prayer of Surrender

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.

Prayer of Generosity

Lord, teach me to be generous. Teach me to serve you as you deserve; to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to ask for reward, save that of knowing that I do your will.

Amen.