True North Missionaries Journal

Lent is a perfect season to always try to renew yourself as well as to purify ourselves to be ready for the Lord.  Our hearts are all in different states whether you are in spiritual high or experiencing a low in your life.  One thing that we fall into is sin, distractions in prayer, and the feeling of desolation.  But really who has never experienced these?  There are three things that I’ve learned during this lenten journey… Praise God.

• The first is, sin causes us to thirst, and the Lord’s response is, “I am the living water.”
• The second, sin causes darkness, and the Lord’s response is, “I am the light of the world.”
• The third is, sin causes death, and the Lord’s response is, “I am the resurrection.”

Look at how much the Lord wants us to come closer to him each time we sin, the Lord’s love for us is everlasting and it began with him dying on the cross for us.

@itsmetimmm

I remember at my first camp, I was asked about a dream that I have. That was in 2001 and to be honest I do not remember what my dream was back then.

Maybe it’s because I did not know how important it was to dream, but as I grew in this community, I learned that dreaming is important. My dreams have inspired me to think about the things that I could possibly do for the Lord.

Some may say that dreams cannot come true.

Doesn’t the Lord speak to us in our dreams? If an angel can appear in the Joseph’s dream (Matthew 1:20) then does that mean an angel can appear in mine?

I’m not saying that I am a mystic and that God always speaks to me in my dreams, but the Lord allows dreams to happen for a reason. I like to think that our good dreams are God’s reality.

My dream or “hope” for the next 20 years of CFC-Youth is to see YCOM as a program that will have a database of every documented event. YCOM will also be the supplier of all things for an event (i.e. no more renting from other places). I also hope that YCOM will have CCs for all the groups and sub-groups.

As we continue to ask the Lord answer our prayers, we must continue to seek for the truth, so that when the Lord knocks we are ready to open the door and respond to His love.

What’s your hope? Share your hope on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/tnc2014) or on Twitter or Instagram (@cfcysfc20yrs) using #myhopein20 and #TNC2014

And with that, may God be praised!

It takes a while for me to open up (my past Household heads / counterparts / household can attest to this) so to share this particular encounter, no matter how vague it may seem, is a pretty big step.

Two days ago, I was at St. Joseph’s Hospital. I wasn’t supposed to be there but because of an error the secretary made, my appointment was rescheduled. Armed with the knowledge that most of the 3 hours will be spent in the waiting room, I came prepared. I brought a book, a fully charged phone, and my rosary ring to calm me down as I usually get anxious when I’m waiting for my turn.

About 45 minutes in, I was told by my nurse that because my doctor, who’s the only one allowed to administer the medication is running late, I should add an extra 30 minutes to the waiting period. Because I was starting to get a bit impatient and restless, I decided to pray. The lady to my right looked curiously every time I turned the ring. By the fifth mystery, her curiosity got the better of her and she asked if I had OCD because I was turning the ring in a slow and deliberate manner (maybe the normal way is to turn it quickly? I don’t know… I didn’t really ask). I explained to her that I was saying the rosary. She apologized for interrupting, told me to finish, and to speak to her afterwards.

When I was done, she told me that she grew up Catholic. But because of something that happened, she lost her faith and would only go to Church during Easter and Christmas. While her husband would go to Church every Sunday, she would stay home to cook lunch for him or tend to their pets and their garden. Our conversation turned to why we were there and when she found out that we were there for the same reason, she asked me why I still prayed. Why I still went to Mass to give thanks. I did not know whether to answer because I feared I might sound condescending but in the end, I did.

The gist of my reply was: I pray and give thanks because He is good. And forever will be good. I anchor myself in Him because to lose faith when things become difficult is the easy way out. To focus on the hurt is to act like the elder son in the parable of the prodigal son: it is to disregard the blessings He is showering me with. I choose to believe that He has a plan for me. What I thought was a situation that would leave me wallowing in sadness and despair is turning out to be the complete opposite because through this, I’m finding strength I did not know I was capable of having. I told her that even though I find it hard sometimes, I have to constantly remind myself that what I understand at this point in time is all that He is letting me. In His time, it will all make sense. I added that when it gets really bad and my heart breaks into pieces, I let it happen. I tell myself that it’s okay not to have it together all the time because it allows God to work in me. To have my heart broken gives Him the chance to mend it again.

She was called by her nurse so we had to stop talking. My doctor eventually came and after the medication was administered, they told me to go back to the waiting room since they had to wait an hour before they could do the second round of blood work. When I came back, I was surprised to see her there because she was a step ahead of me (her second round of blood work was done and she could leave after it was taken). She told me that it’s not the first time she heard those words – her husband and friends would tell her the same things though she did not pay them heed because it sounded like they were just saying those to keep her optimistic. To hear those words from someone in the same situation made everything seem more genuine and real. She thanked me because even with the acknowledgement that it will take time for her faith to be completely restored and for her to completely heal, our conversation has helped her to start opening her heart to Christ again. (:

Last week, I had a one on one with a sister. One of the things we talked about was the importance of sharing our experiences no matter how insignificant we may think they are. Because until we do, we won’t know who might benefit from them. Prior to this encounter, it never occurred to me that my story could keep someone engaged for two hours or inspire someone to welcome Christ into their life again. But what just transpired affirms the beauty that can be found in sharing not only the joy we experience but also the cross(es) that we carry. What we may think is our darkest hour may be what other people need in order for them to find hope in Christ again.

This illness will not end in death; rather it is for God’s glory, and the Son of God will be glorified through it. – Jn. 11:4

We just finished our household today and one of the teachings came from Max Lucado’s article “Just a Moment.” All of us definitely agreed that it was extremely hard to imagine that someone so omnipotent, almighty, all-powerful, and all-loving could have taken such a lowly form. That from the moment Mary said yes, she conceived of the Holy Spirit and the Word was made flesh. That he went through a normal life – growing up from a baby to a toddler to an adolescent to a teenager to a young adult. That Jesus had feelings and emotions, that he felt hurts and pains, that He truly understands and empathizes with us and knows what it is like to be fully human, yet fully divine as well.

“God made Himself approachable to us humans so we could understand Him. We cannot understand God in all His perfection but we can understand His Son and His suffering as we would of others.” – Martel, Life of Pi

I am thankful for the household that the community entrusted to me because we are a household filled with brothers varying in knowledge of the faith and status of heart. Every time we come together, I am affirmed in my anointing. Every moment we are together, I get to find out more about how the Spirit continues to move them in their own lives.

To think that it only took one moment in time for the Saviour of the world to take on a human form. We ourselves experience many moments in our lives – some moments fleet by us without us acknowledging their existence, some moments we treasure and ponder in our hearts. I love my household, and every time I see them I make sure they understand that. So I encourage you, brothers and sisters, to take “just a moment” everyday to thank God for your household, a household that has feelings and emotions, that feels hurts and pains, that truly understands and empathizes with you.

Thank You Jesus, for showing me excellence and how far I must go for love of others and love of You. You gave me your mother and you granted me mercy while you were bearing my punishment. Even though you were nailed to a cross, Your deathbed, you gave me more. I am not nailed to a cross, yet I settle for mediocrity. You were near death and gave me things I am undeserving of yet I let my tiredness be an excuse to not serve you at my best. Mother Mary, grant me more graces through our Lord to give Jesus more while suffering on my cross.

Totus tuus

I went to mass at noon yesterday and the responsorial psalm caught my attention. The psalm was taken from Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for You are with me.” As I reflect on this verse, I was reminded by God’s light and I asked myself three questions: What is light? What is our light? Who is our light?

What is light?

If a child asks me what light is, I would probably say that light is something we use to make things visible. It seems right, but is this really what the definition of light? It is quite challenging to define light. It’s one of those things that you know what it is, but it’s very difficult to explain. According to the book of Genesis, the universe was covered in darkness until God created light. Darkness is the absence of light, but light is not simply just the absence of darkness; it is a symbol of God’s grace.

What is our light?

God created us in His own image and likeness. If light is a symbol of God’s grace, and we are products of His grace, then we ourselves should be symbols of light; symbols of His light. If I were to compare human beings with something, it would be stars. Stars, which are usually visible at night, have their own shines. Despite the amount of stars in the universe, they are still unable to provide enough light to rule out darkness. These stars just become dots of light in the night sky.

Our life is like the journey of a star through night and day. We should be symbols of His light, but most of the time, we tend to just show our own personal light especially when we are faced with struggles, like a star depending on its own shine to light up the night sky. Sometimes, it feels so hopeless, but we should remember that there’s always a morning to come. There are times when we may feel so tired, scared, and lost whenever we are in darkness, but when day comes, night goes away. When we allow His light to lead us, everything changes.

Who is our Light?

The sun is like the light of God, the light that can rule out darkness; the light that enables us to see the true beauty of life; the light that warms up the whole world. Without God’s light, we can never rule out darkness with our own personal lights. Same goes with life, we can never overcome an obstacle without the light of God, without the presence of God, without God’s grace.  It is through His light that we feel His warm love. It is through Him that we can make things possible. It is through Him that we can walk out of darkness.

My life lately is quite literally like a journey of a star. There are various times where I tend to depend on my light, tiring myself out, burning myself out. There are so many times when I tend to just depend on my own strength, and not His strength. There are times when I would try to radiate my own light as if it’s going help me at all, but in reality, it’s just burning me out. This passage made me realize that it is not me, but Him. In fact, it was never about me. It was never about my own personal light, but His light.

The morning comes as the sun lights up the whole world. Just like in our lives, no matter how long our time in darkness is, God will always be there to help us and be our light. We will be able to rule out darkness when we allow His light to radiate to the whole world instead of our own personal lights. We are created to be symbols of His light, so we should be radiating His light, not ours.

“You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light.” – 2 Samuel 22:29

As I think about what to write for this week’s blog (I know it’s a couple days late, sorry!), I’m asking the Lord for inspiration.  As I ponder what transpired last week, the message I keep receiving is that it is the Lord Who sustains me.  It is Him Who keeps me going in my life.  It is not I, but Him Who makes things work out for for the best in my life.  Who am I, but a piece of clay, being molded and shaped to be the person He wants me to be.  Like a Potter’s Hand, it is His Hand that sustains me, that keeps me up, that keeps me from falling, that shapes me into how He wants me to be shaped … when I fall, He lifts me up, when I am weak, He is strong, when something bad happens, He turns it into something good, when things seem to be going bad and ugly, He makes all things beautiful in His perfect time … His love sustains me.

“But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One Who lifts up my head. I cry aloud to the Lord, and He answers me from His holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, for the Lord sustains me”

Psalm 3:3-5

May God be praised.