True North Missionaries Journal

These past couple of weeks, I felt like I’ve been so busy with everything (thus, posting this really really late), especially because it is exam season for me. Earlier today, I finished writing my fifth exam. It’s not my last exam, but for some reason, I felt a little relief. I honestly felt like the days went by so fast that I couldn’t even remember what happened. Few hours ago, as I was…

“Making my way downtown, walking fast,
Faces pass and I’m home bound”

(LOL, I had to insert it……)

…and for some reason, I saw myself just “creepily” (LOL) staring at people and observing how they moved as I was walking towards the train station platform. Of course, when you’re in Downtown Toronto, everyone is moving so fast; as if they are always running after or away from something. It’s such as fast-paced environment. Then all of a sudden, I decided to stop moving and just completely observe everyone. Little did I know, beyond this haste is a whole new big picture. Yeah, most people are in a hurry going home, but some are not. Some people are just casually sitting around, chilling and enjoying the sun. Some people are meeting up with their friends. Some people are trying to figure out where to go. Some people are just “still.” Then I realized, this is what I forgot to do these past few weeks, to slow down; to just be still, even for just a moment.

John 11:9 “Aren’t there 12 hours in a day?”

These past few weeks literally felt like there was just 12 hours in a day. It was so hectic that I was not able to see the stillness beyond this rush. I saw myself complaining a lot about being so tired and busy, but little did I know, it’s also my fault, ‘cause I never had time to just pause. If only I paused for a while, I would be seeing the stillness that God provided, the peace within this haste. Yes, I did feel like I accomplished a lot of things, but I forgot to finish the more important ones. I missed the fact that it is really spring already (YEY! Praise the Lord for such a warm perfect weather!). I failed to realize that I am almost done my exams (ONE more to go!). I failed to thank Him for all the blessings that He has showered me these past few weeks. I forgot that our family just got bigger, with the birth of my niece last week! I had lesser “dates” with the Lord, because I felt like I didn’t have that much time. I simply forgot to

“Be still and know that He is God” Psalm 46:10

I forgot the more important ones. I missed a lot of His messages, and little did I know, I wasn’t able to accomplish His plans, because I was too busy finishing my own plans. In reality, at the end of the day, His plans are all the matter. Most of the time, we think that there is not enough time, but actually there is. There is a reason why God just made it 24 hours a day, not 23; not 25. He knows that 24 hours is all we need. He knows that 24 hours is more than enough, if we just use it wisely and for His greater glory. There is stillness within this chaos. We just fail to see it because we forget to slow down and see the bigger picture that God has in-stored for us.

It’s okay to just pause for a moment and see what He has planned for us. His plans are so beautiful, we just need to slowly and carefully look at it and embrace it.

Be still. Slow down: Such a beautiful reminder from Him.

“And I’m restless, I’m restless
‘Til I rest in You, ’til I rest in You
I’m restless, I’m restless
‘Til I rest in You, ’til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You”

Amen.

“I think it is very important, that union with God. You must be full of silence, for in the silence of the heart God speaks. An empty heart God fills. Even Almighty God will not fill a heart that is full – full of pride, bitterness, jealousy – we must give these things up. As long as we are holding these things, God cannot fill it. Silence of the heart, not only of the mouth – that too is necessary – but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch. Then you can hear Him everywhere: in the closing of the door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, the animals – that silence which is wonder and praise. Why? Because God is everywhere and you can see and hear Him; but we cannot see and hear Him if our heart is not clean.”

– Where there is love, there is God. Blessed Mother Teresa.

—–

There is so much peace and joy found when are truly silent. I love the part where Mother Teresa says, “silence of the heart, not only of the mouth, that too is necessary – but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch.”

Silence doesn’t necessarily mean completely distancing ourselves from the world or being in a corner with our own thoughts, though that is not bad in itself. I believe that the kind of silence Mother Teresa speaks of is the kind where our hearts are at peace wherever we are – at work, at home, at an assembly, at a conference. The kind of peace where we know God is in love with us, and we are in love with Him, and we are silent in Him because we see His love everywhere. And no matter where we are or who speak to or who is around us, we spiritually exchange glances with God who is across the room and say, “Hi. I’m here. Thank you for loving me.”

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us. 🙂

 “The eye represents the heart’s intention.” – Pope Francis

After reflecting on Pope Francis’ homily in 2013 I was able to ponder this quote. I read it over and over again trying to understand what it meant. I asked God why He revealed these specific words to me and I asked myself, why does the eye represent the heart? why isn’t it the mind or the heart itself?

As I was trying to ponder these words I reflected on the word “eye“. There is something so captivating about the human eye. Some say they can read our emotions, tell if we’re lying, or even speak through our eyes. The human eye is so fascinating because each one is made different, each eye see’s differently. Our eyes represent light which allow us to see clearly. The eye witnesses, captures memories, and notices good from evil.

The eye sees everything. It sees beauty but not only beauty, the eye sees evil. In our everyday lives we see many things, our loved ones, friends, the beauty of nature and the many blessings the Lord has given us. But we don’t always see the good, we also see the homeless, the abandoned, the suffering, natural disasters, war, and evil in this world. We see the good and the evil. We witness reality.

This is where I had a clear understanding of why I was so drawn to this quote. Whenever we witness through our eyes, we ponder in our heart. We are called to see the beauty of Christ in everything which includes evil. In every homeless, abandoned, suffering person or thing we are called to witness Love. In every tragedy, natural disaster or war we are called to witness love. As we witness this love, we witness Christ, then we’re able to see the Love of Christ in our hearts.

Lord, I pray that you allow us to be sensitive to everything we witness, notice, and see. May we always ponder and reflect on why you’ve allowed us to witness these certain things in our daily life. May we be able to focus our eyes on You so that everything we see and everything we ponder in our heart is Love. 

Benedictus Deus in Saecula

Jesus meets us where we are.  Lately, I’ve been struggling in many aspects of my life. I ask God why I feel this way, or why at times I don’t feel Him or hear Him. I ask the Lord why things are happening the way they are. Today, just listening to some worship songs on a Christian radio station, I realized that Jesus meets us right where we are, whatever situation we are in. If you think about the many prominent characters in the Bible, it is God Who meets them wherever they may be in life. When Jesus called Peter, he was doing his job as a fisherman. When God called Moses, He met Moses where he was and appeared to him through a burning bush. When Jesus called Matthew, he was doing his job as a tax collector in a tax booth. When Jesus called Paul, he was a Pharisee persecuting Christians, Jesus met him where he was, on the road to Damascus, not even expecting Jesus to call out to him, but He met him right where he was, a Pharisee who persecuted the Church.  When Jesus healed people, He met them right where they were at in their lives, in their situation of need, needing His healing, needing His grace, needing His mercy, needing His love. Looking at the story of Bartimaeus, a man born blind, he was merely begging and sitting by a roadside. As he heard Jesus passing by, what did he do? Did he remain silent and motionless? No, he cried out loudly to Him “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” People around even told him to be quiet, yet what did he do? Did he become silent? No, the bible says “he cried out even more loudly, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’” Jesus then called for Bartimaeus, and we all know what happens next, He even loved Bartimaeus so much that He asked him what he would want Him to do for him (knowing fully that he was blind and would want his sight restored). Jesus healed Bartimaeus at his point of need.

Wherever we are in life, whether we feel we are stuck in a deep hole and we feel like we can’t get ourselves out, Jesus will meet us where we are, He offers His hand to pull us back up, and out of that rut. Whether we are struggling with something and we feel like the situation cannot get better, Jesus will meet us in our struggle. If we need healing, whether physically or spiritually, Jesus will meet us where we are, He is our Healer, our Great Physician. But are we just going to sit and wait and do nothing? Like Bartimaeus, we must have courage and faith and call out to the Lord in whatever situation we may be in. Even when the world tries to drown out our cry for help to the Lord, let us like Bartimaeus cry out all the more loudly to God, Who hears us and is there for us in our point of need, in our lowest point. Jesus meets us where we are. Let’s offer Him our brokenness, let’s offer Him our broken hearts, our broken souls, our imperfections, our struggles, our hurts, our pains, our doubts, our fears, let us offer Christ our lives, that He may take our brokenness and imperfections, our ashes, and He will heal us and make something beautiful out of whatever we can offer to Him, in His perfect timing. Jesus meets us where we are.

Amen.

I think I have lots to say, simply because a lot of things happened in the past week. Ups and downs, blessings and challenges… just too much to stay in my brain so I thought I’d share.

I think I have lots to say... about the Good Friday, Way of the Cross, Visita Iglesia, random trip to the US on Easter Sunday, the emotional impact “Heaven is for Real” movie had on me, my friend I accompanied to the hospital for surgery, MV exam that took almost 3 hours, birthday surprises for one of our HH members, upper household I am missing tonight, this one big pressure on me which I’m having a hard time sharing and talking about…

I think I have lots to say… but my fingers just got frozen on my keyboard. My mind doesn’t want to think. Whether it is tired or not, I am not sure. But I think if you feel like you have lots to say, the more that you need to keep quiet. #jet

(the very first article I was able to write within 5 minutes)

So this past Monday was our SFC MV exam. Coming in like everyone prepping for an exam, outside you’re cool calm and collective. On the inside, you’re freaking out!!!

So fast forward towards the end of the exam, mind you it was all on computer and I was using an ipad, I kept switching windows to the point…..ALL OF MY ANSWERS…GONE!!! This huge frustration on my face, made me feel like I wasted my time. the screaming and the agony and the pain in my head.

But, at the same time I’ve realized that with all the frustration, it also shows the passion and the persistence I have for the Lord.

I think with everything going on in this world whether there bad news and good news, we need to remind ourselves that no matter the challenges or blessings, its all for the Lord and HE IS STILL GOOD!

btw, I managed to finished my exam the next day and in fairness my girlfriend also ran the time.

Again, Lord all the glory is to you!!

-Jones

On Monday, we had our SFC MV Exam.

Boy, did I struggle. While I was studying, I struggled the most with the Catechism. I googled “Basics of the Catechism of the Catholic Church,” and I came across this: http://www.beginningcatholic.com/tenets-of-catholicism.html

First of all, during the exam, when it came to the catechism part, I felt like such an idiot. I felt like a failure, and by the end of the exam, I felt so unworthy to be an MV.

Praise God for the gift of sisterhood, that no matter how far you are from each other, the love and support for one another never changes. I was telling a sister who no longer lives in the GTA, about how my exam went and told her how I felt. She said, “Remember that we are called because we are imperfect and He is the one that will make us perfect.” The Holy Spirit was truly working in her, because it gave me more peace and realize that even if I fail, I’m not going to be kicked out of my role as a Mission Volunteer. If anything, it’s the beginning of my journey and I have lots to learn.

The next day, I read the message of the day in Walking with Pope Francis: 30 Days with the Encyclical, The Light of Faith, and it said:

Funny, because when I was going through what I thought I needed to know on the Catechism (link above), I was so fascinated by the Apostle’s creed and how much meaning there is behind each line. Then after reading the message above, it brought peace to my heart again! God is so amazing. He meets us where we are, no matter what state we are in, as long as we believe in Him and have faith in Him.