True North Missionaries Journal

On Saturday I had the chance to visit the West Sector’s Kids for Christ JK and SK Camp. Since becoming KFC Area, I wanted to be able to visit the West sector any chance I can get just to familiarize myself with their core and CC’s since I never had the chance too when I was just East Sector for KFC, only time I would see them would be Area events and preps. After a very long trip, I arrived at St. Joseph’s school and went inside the venue. So many new faces; children, core and parents.. It definitely felt peculiar being somewhere I wasn’t used to.

At one point of the event, they asked me to join in on the song teachings with the ROCK leaders and KFCs. Let me tell you, what a walk down memory lane! I hesitated because I didn’t remember the actions to the new KFC songs.. But I had such a pleasant time teaching the songs and interacting with the other core and children and dancing, laughing… It seemed like it’s been ages since I’ve done this.

I forgot what it was like to be with the children during these event. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to just take the time to be with the KFC’s because I found myself stressing over the schedule and making sure the overall turn out of the event was, I guess, successful.

Becoming the East Sector, now the Area head for KFC, it was a given that we would be given more responsibilities in terms of running the actual event and making sure that it ran smoothly. But at the same time, after that one moment of being with the kids, I realized how easy it was to lose sight of the initial purpose of why I wanted to serve for Kids for Christ in the first place, and why I stayed despite the hardships.

KFC believes that to be able to build an attractive environment to the kids, the program should have the “ 4F ” principle:

Fun
It is fun. Activities are enjoyable and they stimulate the child’s creativity, perception, and sensitivity.

Friendship
It is built on friendships. Activities encourage the members to build strong friendships with one another.

Faith
It enhances the faith. Activities are geared towards their relationship with God explain Christian faith elements in kids language.

Freedom
It allows, free but responsible expression. Activities respect the kids for who and what they are and who and what they can be.

I lost sight of the 4 F principles. I stressed myself out too much that it was no longer fun sometimes. I continuously remind myself that this stress is only temporary because the reward is always greater. That the Lord will provide. Which He did, because seeing these children experience the amazing joys that the KFC ministry provides was always something I was blessed to witness. But it wasn’t enough.

I forgot what it was like to interact with the children, to express my knowledge and faith to them and also the ability to express the freedom that KFC provided. I lost sight of being a kid at heart.

I was once just a member of KFC and I remembered seeing all my facilitators(my Ates and Kuyas) and having so much fun because they would spend time with me. Upon graduating KFC and joining CFC-Y then becoming a KFC leader, I experienced the joys of finally being with the kids, because of how amazing my experience in KFC was. Slowly I realized, that I no longer gave my time and service to the children but to the service itself.

Praise the Lord for this very affirming day at the JK/SK Camp. I couldn’t explain why but the realization of what exactly I’ve been missing was probably a factor as to why I couldn’t find myself of reaching full happiness and contentment. I had to remind myself that this point on, no matter how stressed or busy I can be, you are never too busy to serve The Lord – and being with the children is a huge portion of it.

Thank you, Lord!

I had a professor this past semester who passed away at around the age of fifty. This never happened to me before so I was quiet shocked when I had heard about it. He was a good person and in many ways he taught me things that I would have never learned from a book.

This professor was an interesting one because he was a lawyer and he liked poetry. I remember walking into his law class and wondering if I was in the wrong room. He walked into the class and before introducing himself he read a poem from a book. The poem was A Summer Day by Mary Oliver. The poem is as follows:

“Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?”

-Mary Oliver

As I look back to this poem and remember my professor the one word that resounds in my mind is Gratitude. I realize how much I love my professor despite hardly knowing him and how thankful I am to the Lord for allowing us to cross paths. I am reminded of the countless blessings in my life and how easy it is to forget what the Lord has given me.

To pass through life without being grateful for what the Lord has given you is really one of the greatest tragedies.

All victories, challenges, and encounters are blessings to be thankful for, and to walk with Christ is to be in a constant state of gratefulness as we traverse this life.

Lord I am truly thankful for everything that has made this very moment possible. Amen

There’s a certain contentment with currently being an MV. I’m just sitting here at the CFC office, just doing what I need to do…and what can I say, I love serving this community.

There’s a certain contentment with being vulnerable to the service, being vulnerable to the people you serve, being vulnerable to the Lord…I don’t know how to explain it.

But what I can explain is that I want to continue giving my all. Praise God for the endless opportunities that we receive to be able to make a difference in a secular world. I truly feel that when you offer yourself to the Lord and you allow yourself to always be uncomfortable, you coincidentally find more rest and comfort in the Lord, himself and his plans.

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Another simple message but praise God for the daily reminders He puts in our lives to show His existence and assistance and faithfulness to us and His plans.

Deo Gloria

 

I’m going to keep this short, because there is a lot to reflect on and what not.

Being a Youth for Christ, is living the 100 percent free lifestyle.

I always thought about this..and a few days ago from my chapter pastoral, I saw the fruits of how being 100 percent free helps our community and the future of new youth be sustained. Its simple, and just a moral reminder how we as leaders are called to pastor our youth. We need to look deep down inside of ourselves and really ask our heart, can I be accountable for this person if I can’t be accountable for myself?..

Praise God. It was evident in my chapter pastoral that even with one person just grasping the lifestyle, it got the point to everyone that we can help each other grow from the worldly desires and replace them with treasures that can be placed in heaven.

That’s all. Just a simple thought.

Deo Gloria!

Coming from an area like Metro Region, it’s almost a given that you will be asked to handle many different roles and responsibilities. I have always been more of a Martha than a Mary; I oversee checklists before acknowledging relationships.

This attitude got me going downhill in no time. Before I knew it, everything I had to do felt more like a burden, not a blessing. Every time I was asked to take on yet another role, my heart would grow more in affliction rather than gratitude. How much longer could I keep doing all of this? I was overwhelmed. I was overworked. I was so, so, so tired.

I was hitting a wall over and over and over again. How did I get to this point?

There is both beauty and art in being able to stay grounded in the midst of a storm. If I desired full time work as passionately as I did- as I still do- then I had to find a practical way to keep going. The problem lay not in the strength and size of my fire, but my ability to sustain it.

Everything I do is suppose to lead me closer to Heaven. If not, then I need to seriously reconsider my intentions, change perspectives, and reevaluate what is in my heart. Do I value the work of God more than God himself? Do I prioritize the work before my relationship with Him?

Realization:
The missionary matters to God before the mission.

The mission will always be there. The work in Metro region will keep going day and night; it will not stop until Christ himself comes back. My cup will always be filled with more, not because God is punishing me but because He wants to keep blessing me. My priority should always be to grow deeper in holiness with Christ, not the checkmarks beside my task list.

This work is grounded in the truth that whatever God places in our life is meant to make us more alive, allowing us to be more of who we are called to be. Whatever God does, is with purpose and that purpose is to reveal to us His unshakeable, unbreakable love for us.

For now and for always.

 

Even when it hurts / Even when it’s hard / Even when it all just falls apart / I will run to You / ‘Cause I know that You are / Lover of my soul / Healer of my scars / YOU STEADY MY HEART / I’m not gonna worry / I know that You’ve got me / Right inside the palm of your hand / Each and every moment / What’s good and what gets broken / Happens just the way You plan / You are here / You’re real / I know I can trust You.

“WHAT DO YOU DESIRE?”

The journey to this weekend began with this one question. What do you desire? My answer seemed simple. Full Time Pastoral Work. I want to be a Full Time Missionary. And God has been so gracious in guiding me in this desire. Earlier this year, I had been endorsed to Full Time Pastoral Work, and as I await the moment I am called to an Area, the Lord has definitely not been silent. In fact, He has begun to make this journey much more personal to me.

As we entered the sessions of the evening, the Lord allowed me to dive deeper in this desire…

Full Time Pastoral Work.

It does not just pertain to my family and the greater family of Couples for Christ and its ministries,  nor does it begin or depend on whether I have a placement or not, but He was already molding my desire from the very beginning. I realized that I had been focusing the mission in my family and in the community so much that there are still other areas in my life I had been ‘compartmentalizing’. So in order to fulfill my desires, the Lord had opened my heart this weekend to allow myself to be vulnerable in ALL aspects of my life.

Although I’m not officially a Full Time Pastoral Worker just yet, it doesn’t mean the mission in me cannot begin. I don’t need to know a lot more than our God Who is Love to understand that I need not to be afraid. HE is working in all those around me. HE is working in me. HE is loving me. HE is the mission in me, and my whole life is a mission to bring HIM completely into my life. It is being steady in the Lord above all else so that in allowing Him to be my Foundation, something is continuously growing in the works. WHAT IS IT? I actually don’t fully know yet, but as He holds the blueprint, I will wait patiently for the Lord to reveal it all. In the meantime, I will keep my faith and rejoice in the inner castle He has built in me.

Full Time Pastoral Work is knowing that I am loved; I am not capable; I am called & chosen and He becomes capable in me.

This is my desire. 
FULL TIME PASTORAL WORK.
To allow Him to become What is capable in me in an intimate and fearless vulnerability so that others may know this love. I DESIRE to simply love and be unafraid of it all.
And it has already begun.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 
my soul waits for the Lord,
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.”
(Psalm 130: 5-6)

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.

I am a C

I am a C-H

I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N

and I have C-H-R-I-S-T

in my H-E-A-R-T

and I will L-I-V-E  E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y

We sang this song at SHOUT earlier and it got me thinking – do I always have Christ in my heart? Sometimes I get caught up in getting to know Jesus (intellectually) that I forget to have Christ in my heart. Sometimes I get caught up in the doing of service that I forget to have Christ in my heart. If I have Christ in my heart, then everything will flow from that. I will have more conviction to learn about Jesus and to share about Him.

Thank You Lord for the simple reminder that, above all, I am called to have You in my heart!