True North Missionaries Journal

Call to me and I will answer you. I will tell to you things great beyond reach of your knowledge. – Jeremiah 33:3

During our previous RYC last March, in the course of the first session, we were asked to write in a card the questions that we would like to ask the Lord. One of the questions that I wrote was “Why do You keep calling me despite all my brokenness, my flaws, and my imperfections?”

Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you…” I called and He answered.

I just came from the recently concluded Eastern MV SHouT. It was truly such a blessed SHouT. One particular messaged that kept hitting me all throughout the SHouT is taken from John 14:6, Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I am THE WAY.

What I saw during the worship on Wednesday evening is an image of a glowing arrow pointing upward. An arrow is normally used to point into a direction or to guide. Jesus is the way, the only way to the Lord. And I believe this is our call, to be the way, with our lives pointing to God. We are called to point people to Christ, as Christ pointed us to the Father.

Lead me Lord, lead me by the hand
And help me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain
That life may bring
There’s no other hope
That I can lean upon
Lead me Lord
Lead me all my life

I am THE TRUTH.

Eyes. A lot of people say that our eyes are the mirror of our souls. Our eyes speak the truth, and like our eyes and Jesus Christ, we are called to be the truth. We are called to be His eyes in this world. We are called to be His living testimonies in this world; to be the truth to the world.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. I want to see You

Let us not be interested in people seeing us and desire far more than people will see Him in us.

I am THE LIFE.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and game himself to me. – Galatians 2:20

God is calling us to live the life that Jesus lived, to live according to His plan. It may seem hard and impossible, but He wants us to be not afraid, for He is with us. Christ lives in us.

 

Our lives are just like heart rates. In order for us to be alive, we need to experience those ups and downs. We can’t just be stagnant (or in a pulse case, a straight line) because when that happens, we really are not living. Our victories and struggles our necessary for us to live fully; necessary for us to fulfill our mission. We get inspired by our victories, and we learn from our struggles. No one in this world is abstained from sufferings. In fact, even Christ suffered. He was condemned, scourged, beaten, and crucified. But He endured it, because He knows that after all that, He can live again, not the life that He wants, but the life the God wants Him to have. As Philippians 1:21 says, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Our mission is never easy, but it is in difficulties that the joy comes real, the life of joy.

Jesus is the life. We are called to live a life according to His. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. – John 14:3

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God is calling us to a greater mission. He is calling us to be living testimonies of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He wants us to be the same: to be the way, the truth and the life. He wants us to be that arrow to others. He wants us to show the truth to the world by living like the truth Himself, Jesus Christ. He wants us to be the life to others; to be part of victories and brokenness, to be part of hope, to be the heartbeat of the mission.

Why does He kept calling me? Kept calling us? The answer is exactly this.

Despite all our brokenness, failures, struggles, and flaws, we are called by name into this mission. Our personal missions started the moment we were born. Let us be the way, the truth, and the life of the world. He wants us to take on and fully live out this mission, the mission that Christ started.

Be not afraid, I go before you always. Come follow Me and I’ll give you rest.

He answered our call; let us answer His.

However, consider my life worth nothing to me, my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus Christ has given me; the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. – Acts 20:24

Lord, let Your words be my words, and Your will be my will. Allow me to live the life that Christ lived. Amen.

Alright, so this past few weeks of being able to reflect on service, RYC, family, personal life, vocation etc etc…this is definitely something that I have never felt before…well I have but not to this intensity where it affects my day and can really change a lot.

I have a desperate, DESPERATE yearning to find something…

I don’t know what it is…To be honest, I was desperately trying to ask the Lord for whatever it is He wants me to ask for…I couldn’t figure it out. I tried. I felt distracted. Yet, everyday I’ve been trying and trying and trying to find what I’m looking for…figure out what’s missing. I love my service, I love my family, what else is there?

All I know is…I’m seeking. There are a lot of things I can pin point, but it feels as if what the Lord wants me to look for is SO MUCH MORE…I feel disheartened that its taking me so long to find what my heart is yearning for.

Pray for me. Maybe this coincidence in having this need to seek is His providence in this upcoming MV SHOUT tomorrow.  I don’t know. Somethings just missing. My hearts always been emptied for the service of the Lord and others, maybe this time He wants me to fill my heart with something that will fulfill me for a long time. Who knows…I just..REALLY REALLY want to know what it is or find it.

Lord, at the times I’ve been disheartened and impatient with You, please allow me to persevere. I don’t know what it is You want me to find, but allow me to remain joyful in the journey along the way. I need You so much…Open my eyes. Open my heart. May my pride and insecurities not get in the way of choosing to love You. No matter how much it hurts. Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You.

Amen

Deo Gloria

 

Going in the training for Kids for Christ pastoral work, I wondered why kfc when all this time I’ve been serving in cfc-youth. why po? hehe

Till now I don’t know the full reason why but in the month I’ve been here in the Philippines, I’ve come to appreciate and see the greater mission through kids for Christ.

I’ve come to realize that kfc is not only about the kids but the whole family. It is about building a relationship with parents so that together, we can cater to kids in molding them into “young Christ like leaders” of the future.
I saw this in the recent IKV when all I saw were families experiencing Christ through the IKV. It was beautiful to watch and be part of (wahhh I miss my family po hehe :P)
In addition, it was the parents who we had to converse with, organize with and explain to, so becoming a ftpw for KFC does not only mean for kids but for the family too.
another realization.. #WeNeedMoreKFCftpw but that’s another reflection to chew on po hehe 😛

Overall I must say too.. Kids for Christ is not an easy ministry.. you’ll be challenged in many ways (interpersonal skills, voice acting skills, smiling skills, patience skills etc.) but The Lord is much Greater in many ways too because He loves the children more and will wait open arms for His children (Mark 10:14)

The Lord has a funny way of leading me..
I remember as a student of nursing, I told my self that I can never work in the paediatrics ward because I can’t work with kids and can’t deal with worried/angry parents.. now look where I am po hehe training as a KIDS for Christ pastoral worker.
The Lord is truly the Great provider in everything we need.. He can calm the heart and mind in times of chaos (praise God).

Lord, You’re a funny Father but a knowing all One. You knew that I would come to love and appreciate something(s) I turned a blind eye too (if that made sense po hehe)
Thank you Lord and continue to teach me to have an open heart to Your leading..

Just coming back from the 2014 Eastern MV SHOUT, I feel like I have a spiritual hangover … I mean that in a good way =) These past few days (from Wed. to Sunday to be exact) has been a SHOUT (literally God’s loud voice) of God’s love, His faithfulness, and His affirmations.  Personally, this is the second SHOUT that I have ever attended, the first one was just earlier this year for SFC, but I was only able to attend for a couple of days.  So I guess this was my first official SHOUT, wherein I stayed the entire time (excluding the few hours I was away due to my class).  I truly praise the Lord for allowing me to experience what I have experienced the past few days, and I’m glad and I praise Him that I have other brothers and sisters who are taking this journey with me!

In this SHOUT, the Lord has really spoken to me, and made His voice loud and clear.  He has affirmed me in so many ways.  Seeing His affirmations not only personally, but also for the community, and for my other brothers and sisters, reveals how amazing God truly is.  He is so good, He is so amazing, He loves us all so much.  He is patient with us, as He continues to call each of us closer and closer to Himself, as He calls us to come, to come and follow Him.

There is so much I want to share about, from God’s messages, His affirmations, relationships that were built among other brothers and sisters, and amidst all these having His Love, Peace, and Joy in our hearts despite the sleep deprivation hehe. I don’t want to write a book in this blog lol … so I guess I can share about the affirmation God has spoken to me about my family.  My family has gone through many ups and downs.  The Lord has truly affirmed me of the love He has for my family.  Last night as I was going through my journal notes from the SHOUT, I came across the passage 2 Samuel 7:16 which was used in Session 2.  So I took out my Bible and for some odd reason I started reading that passage and kept reading more after.  Then 2 Samuel 7:18-29 really spoke to me (I hope you can read that passage too:))  This affirmed me (from Session 2), of the blessing of my family and the love He has for my family.  Despite the imperfections in my family, He is still taking care of all of us, and He will take care of my family.  It’s like He was telling me, “Mark, do not worry, I love your family, they are in the palm of my hands.”  This really touched my heart, I mean, who am I, a man who has at many times felt like I’ve failed them, failed at showing them the love I need to show them.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my family so much, and I think that is why the Lord has spoken to me about them, letting me know that in mission, I don’t exclude my family, but I am to include them, to love them the same, and love them even more, trusting them in His loving care.

The second part of the passage (verses 25-29) also speaks to me about one of the affirmations in the SHOUT to “build,” to build a “house,”  to build His house among all His people.  I know the Lord is building His dwelling place in my heart, as He builds and blesses the house of my family.

He wants us to build His house, He wants us to build up other people.  He wants to use us as His hands and feet to touch the hearts of others.

Just throughout the SHOUT, I truly felt God’s love in all of our hearts, like a fire burning in our hearts.

So as He calls me to come to Him, to follow Him, I truly ask for His Grace and Mercy, for His Love and Strength, to guide me, to lead me, to use me, as I take up the call as His follower, as a current Mission Volunteer in CFC Singles for Christ, to engage in the mission of Couples for Christ, to BUILD the Church of the home, and to BUILD the Church of the poor, and to further push forward in the community’s vision of families in the Holy Spirit renewing the face of the earth; wherever I am called to serve, so that He may be glorified.

Rise oh generation rise
Hear the sound of faith its calling out to you
Rise oh generation rise
In His love we are invited to the Truth
Let the light of hope empower and consume

Rise oh generation rise
And together we will lift the name of God
Rise oh generation rise
And united we will be His hands and feet
To proclaim unto the world that He is King

We sing for all You’ve done
We will stand united singing
Kingdom come
You have set a fire burning
In our hearts
We will keep on building

Rise oh generation rise
Let a shout of praise resound in all the earth
Rise oh generation rise
And united we will be His hands and feet
And proclaim unto the world that He is King

This past week I’ve attended my first SHouT and I’m glad it was the MV SHouT 2014! This experience has truly opened up new windows for me. I’ve become close to these brothers and sisters whom I have been blessed to share this exciting new journey as a missionary in the community with. But it’s also made me know more about myself and what The Lord has planned for me and my call. He has rekindled the small fire in my heart and ignited it over the roof and crossed boundaries I have always been afraid to reach out too.

I’ve always been fearful, I was afraid of change, afraid of the future and afraid of getting hurt. Truly enough, shortly after deciding to finally apply to become a Mission Volunteer, my anxiety built up and new questions rose… “What if I get too busy trying to balance MV with what I have now?” or minuscule things like service, family, work troubles… I constantly question exactly why The Lord chooses to put me in these certain situations when He knows I’ll be uncomfortable in them. Which is exactly why He did them in the first place, and will continue to do it because He loves me so much. He does this so when I fall, I fall into His hands and there He will strengthen me. No matter how much you weigh the problems you have, it is nothing compared to what The Lord can ultimately do for you. God in Your grace now, oh I will do the same, to be as fearless, to stand and to proclaim.”

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
– 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Lord I do not give you enough credit for helping me overcome my struggles and I also do not acknowledge the good in them. These struggles only made me strive to feed onto the spiritual deprivation I’ve been missing, and that is of You.

“For I know the plans I have for you” declared The Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29: 11-13

I was recently asked to really reflect about the first time I heard the call, for some people, it went as far back as their childhood. For others, it was something fairly recent. For myself, after much thought and reflection, I realized the call began in the first moment of brokenness (specifically in relationships) because every brokenness I had experienced was significantly different. The blessing in each is that every piece of brokenness taught me a deeper way to love (myself, others, and more importantly, God). But once again, it took a CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT and TRULY TAKE IT TO HEART… So this is the best way I could comprehend it, myself:

I had looked at life as a mountain to climb. The goal, ultimately, is to reach the top. Surrounded by nothing, but the sky around me (#thestruggleisreal). Every time I had experienced brokenness, I thought of it as another “crack” from some sort of “inner volcano” that was waiting to erupt… As more cracks had appeared, it became harder, but when I truly acknowledged God in my life, I took note and held onto Him like a rope that would help me with the climb. Yet no matter what the trials were, more cracks appeared, but this “inner volcano” never erupted. BUT… What if I didn’t change any part of my life and this journey, but simply changed the perspective? 

It’s the exact same image, but taken in a new perspective… a new angle. This brokenness actually reminds me of a Japanese art that my brother, Kevin Muico, had introduced to us at METRO REGION’S RLR 2014 – KINTSUGI. The art of taking broken ceramic items, and molding it back together with GOLD, in which the original vessel, being broken, is made more precious and more beautiful by being mold together again with gold!

GOLD, to me, is GOD. In my brokenness, what I saw was “brokenness” began to change…

1. What I thought were cracks from some waiting-to-erupt volcano were actually the ways He was filling those moments of brokenness with Him, Himself – GOLD
2. What I thought was lava, waiting to erupt at the top was actually the source of Light in which He had always encouraged to bring out to me and in me.
3. What I thought was a rope to help me up was not just for me to hold on to Him, but it was a helping hand He gave me so that like the use of a handle, He could hold on to me too.
4. And that blue sky? That only thing that surrounded me? Well, it was always simple… How many times have I prayed for Mama Mary’s blue mantle of protection. I strongly believe that through all the brokenness, she was safeguarding my heart and the journey that has led me to this CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE and beyond…

All of this was to make me a cup so that He can fill me completely to the brim, and overflow and pour out His abounding love in the lives of those around me…

From the very beginning, He always had a purpose for me and it merely took a simple change of perspective to understand this. For this (and many, many more), may He always be praised!

AMDG.