” Montréal “
Thursday, September 19, 2013
It was early Wednesday morning, around 8:00 a.m. as I headed towards the Train to Montréal at Penn Station along with my special travel companion.
I took a last whiff of New York’s scent…
Hot dogs, pizza, and garbage.
Right before I stepped into the train, I had to pause for a moment because
I felt a gnaw in my heart.
Oddly enough…the same feeling I was experiencing the day before.
As I took a step into the train
I looked back once more until the doors slowly closed behind me.
I dragged my feet as I headed towards my seat and
Reluctantly rolled my luggage behind me.
Once I got to my seat,
I sat by the window and looked out.
So many emotions running through my body…
I was speechless.
I looked out…and looked up.
He knew.
This whole trip…
I tried so hard to avoid the gnaw in my heart.
I would distract myself with food, other topics, other issues…
It made it difficult for me to reflect on what
The Lord was really trying to tell me this entire trip.
All I wanted to do was close my eyes and walk.
And so I did…
I closed my eyes and slept for most of the train ride back to Montréal.
It was already about 7:40 pm that evening,
It was dark out and the sun had already set and I didn’t even notice. My eyes were still shut. I was half asleep when I heard the conductor announced,
“We will be arriving in MONTREAL train station shortly!”
I woke up in a panic at the same time trying to keep my cool and get my things ready…
I thought to myself…
That 10 hour trip flew right before my eyes.
I stopped what I was doing
I noticed the view coming up on the other side of the window
My eyes widened
The sky wasn’t completely pitch black
The mix of lights from the city
Created a sort of navy blue hue around the island
The water was glistening
The light-trails resting on the water
Formed a path which led my eyes to follow the lights on the buildings
Going from left to right
Which I realized traced a silhouette of a
MOUNT…a mountain.
I was encouraged to look up at the beauty of the city
The city that I left 2 weeks ago
The gnaw at my heart appeared once again
This time I knew why.
I turned to my companion and whispered,
” We’re home, reality awaits us.”
As we locked eyes we both knew what I meant, and we continued gazing at the skyline.
This time…with eyes wide open.
I finally arrived, my family picked me up at the station…the rest of them waiting for me at the house, the food was prepared and all they were waiting for was for me to eat. As I sat down on my chair…it was as if I was still siting in the train looking out the window…as I sat in my chair, I glanced at each person in the room…
I smiled and thought to myself
This was part of the reality that awaits me…
That night, as I lay flat on my back in my bed
I looked up
Clenched my sheets with both hands and
Closed my eyes as the clock struck 12:00 a.m.
This marked the beginning of my 25th year of life
My eyes still remained shut
I took a deep breathe and all I could think of was,
” This is it…”
I was home
Where everything first started
MONTREAL awaits me
The REAL MOUNTAIN awaits me
My REAL MOUNTAIN awaits me
It was hard for me to see it from within
I was only able to appreciate it from afar
This time I heard
The Lord whisper in my ear
“Don’t be afraid to open your eyes and open your heart”
So I immediately opened my eyes…
In front of me was a painting of a tree…
Then I was reminded by the beauty that I experienced the past two weeks
And the beauty that still awaits me.
“Lord God, allow me to continuous open my eyes to the things I do not see and things you have called me to witness. May my heart also be in-tuned with what I am called to witness with my eyes. May I not shy away from the wondrous mountain that you have set in front of me and also be able to climb it knowing that you will be at the top waiting for me. With every mount, comes beauty. The Lord calls me to open my eyes to the mountains in front of me and open my heart to beauty that surrounds me. Thank you Lord. Amen :)”
“The Real Mountain”