After months of waiting and days dreaming of what ICON would be like, I finally got the chance to attend my first ever YFC International Conference. (Insert happy face)
If you asked me how I felt days before I left Canada, you probably heard me say something along the lines of: “Oh, I don’t want to leave. I’m not ready to go just yet… I don’t think I’ll survive.”
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I was ungrateful about going to ICON but rather I was so scared to leave in fear of what was waiting for me in the Philippines. Deep down inside, part of me did not want to go because I was afraid of what the Lord would reveal to me while I was here.
I wasn’t expecting any extravagant messages to be proclaimed per se, it was just that I really did not know what to expect going into this conference. For all my family and friends that have attended an ICON before, they always spoke so highly of their experiences and would share grand stories of how God shared something special to them that I started to question what exactly God would reveal to me.
When I reflected on the possibilities, I often thought of something extreme like God is going to tell me: “You’re going to be nun!” (Still a possibility, but obviously if that’s the case I need to continue to discern more about it) or “You’re going to become a missionary (again, still a possibility, just need to continue to pray about it – well, basically for my vocations overall haha).
But instead of all of that, God reminded me of something so simple; something that I already knew but forgot.
At ICON, God told me that I am loved.
“My daughter you are loved. You are so loved.
To the depths of the ocean, to the highest peak of the mountains –
That is how much I love you.”
For the past year, I have forgotten how much God loves me that it started to affect how I treated others and more importantly myself.
For if I knew in my heart that I was 100% loved by God, I would not have questioned God’s plans for me or doubt my self-worth, or be so hesitant to go confessions nor would I choose to run away from Him whenever I felt angry or ashamed of myself.
As a Catholic and as a YFC leader, I know that this shouldn’t be something new for me to learn however, with all of the personal struggles that I have experienced this past year, I guess I forgot that to remember this simple but important message: that I am totally and completely loved by God.
Realizing this now, I see where I have failed God. I hope that I can learn to be more accepting of God’s love so that I may be able to let His love shine through me so I can spread God’s love to everyone I encounter.
I know that it may become difficult sometimes but I pray that I can look back at this ICON and remember the few words that God said to me.
Thank You Lord for this simple but beautiful reminder.
And most importantly, thank You for loving me!
Your love is truly everlasting.
Amen.
Danielle