If you try your best, God will take care of the rest.
Personally, school is really exhausting mentally, physically, and spiritually (This may even be an understatement haha). School takes the most energy out of me than any other responsibility/obligation because in order for me to excel, I have to put a lot of work in.
Like many people, I have this desire to do well in school, but for me this desire stems from what I’ve learnt through this community: that God calls me to be excellent in my studies as it is a way that I can be thankful for the gift of education and glorify Him. There’s another part of me that wants to do well in school, because I want to make my parents proud. They, too, hope that I am able to do my best, graduate, and find a good job that makes good money and makes me happy.
Another reason I have for wanting to do well in school is based on a pact I made with myself years ago. Ever since I wasn’t able to get into the U of Alberta School of Business after my first year because of my low GPA, resulting in me having to transfer to MacEwan University’s School of Business, I made the decision to never be mediocre in school again. A few years past and I found myself doing extremely well in school more than I ever had before. (Thanks be to God!) But then in Fall 2013, I failed my first exam and dropped out of my first course in university. This occurrence in my life caused my self-confidence to depreciate and I found myself almost giving up on doing well in school because I equated my self-worth to my grades. (I still sometimes do that out of habit, but I’m definitely trying to get out of that rut.) Despite having gone through such an event, God still made a way for me to do really well in my other courses that semester through my projects and final exams.
This semester, like all my other semesters, I attribute my success to God alone because it would be impossible for me to say that I did everything on my own. After a really tough semester, I’m coming into my finals with overall grades of 89-94% and I just have no idea why God is being so generous to me lol… I know He is a very good God and gives because it is His nature to, but I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s true that I try hard in school, but I spend a lot of time doing other things — service, work, hanging out with my family and friends, watching TV shows and movies, or sleeping — that doing this well doesn’t add up in my mind.
I will admit that I do have sporadic moments (days) where I focus just on school and this is where my greatest effort comes in. But even though, whenever I go into an exam I feel like I haven’t studied enough, always cramming seconds before my exam comes in front of me, often resulting in my professor telling me to put my notes away. And whenever I come out of an exam, I often feel like I have no idea how I did and leave the marking to my professor. These past couple of years, I’ve been in this cycle and over and over again, I’ve ended up with nothing lower than a 75% on an exam, but even this mark acts as an outlier as I usually get marks between 84-95%.
All I can think of is, DOMINUS EST! (If I could make this font bigger to emphasize this truth, I really would.) It is always the Lord. The grades I get have nothing to do with my own efforts, but have everything to do with God’s kindness and generosity. It is the only explanation.
Moments ago, I honestly felt like giving up on studying because there seemed to be so many other things I would rather be doing since studying is my least favourite activity in the world; all it really does is build a lot of anxiety in me. But reflecting on how far God has led me and how much support I get from my parents, I feel incredibly loved. This love only makes me want to do better and to keep pushing through. In the most humble way, I’m happy to see that God has made it known to me that I can trust Him in the best of times and the worst of times, in and outside of school. This semester was really tough for me to balance, but God was walking with me through it all. He was greater than the trials.
During exam season, it is always very difficult for me to spend time with God in prayer, but I’m grateful for the few minutes I do have with Him, especially when my anxiety heightens. I’m also thankful for all the saints who continue to pray for me, especially St. Joseph of Cupertino, who has been on this journey with me for years now.
As I continue to study for my last two finals and grow tired in the nights to come, I hope and pray that I will remember that God is with me and that He never sets me up for failure, but rather, always makes a way for me to be victorious, especially if I do my part (although very little) and trust in Him.
Dear God,
Thank you for the gift of education. As I continue to study, I pray that You help me concentrate on all that I need to know for my upcoming exams. I’m getting easily distracted by what’s around me. Please help me to focus on studying so that I may be able to glorify you through doing well in school, and by honouring my parents by making them proud. Please bless me and all those who are still writing exams with Your Spirit.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.
Our Lady of Good Studies, pray for us.
St. Joseph of Cupertino, pray for us.
All the holy angels and saints, pray for us.
Amen.
